EPTWhat the hell is wrong with her school? - Page 2
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Kralic
Canada2628 Posts
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Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
On March 30 2011 04:27 SirJolt wrote: Just presume that any other guy in there is going to be pretty much the same as you, man. I also don't really see why she'd be uncomfortable; it comes off an awful lot like some kind of trust issues thing, but as you said, that could be a cultural difference... Aside from that, I'm going to leave the cure here in this spoiler tag. + Show Spoiler + ![[image loading]](http://img222.imageshack.us/i/pronoia.png/) Well according to pretty much everybody I know in real life and most of my canadian/US friends it's weird to put a girl in an apartment with 3 guys, so maybe that's just how we roll. On March 30 2011 04:30 Kralic wrote: It might be just the luck of the draw. I would assume since it is a joint venture from mulitple schools sending their students to this job internship I will assume the other three are in the same field as she is and they will probably have a lot in common in terms of knowledge and sharing with each other what they learned at their respected schools. Four schools participated, three sent males one sent a female. That's very possible. | ||
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munchmunch
Canada789 Posts
That said, you are absolutely right that the only thing that matters is whether or not she is comfortable with the situation. One thing she might ask is whether or not there will be someone who can act as a temporary "resident supervisor" if one is needed. If there is, she might be more comfortable with the living arrangements. If not, this point can probably be used to bolster her argument against the arrangements. | ||
emperorchampion
Canada9496 Posts
I take this from the perspective of having lived with mostly women for the past year. I guess everyone is different, and if she is completely opposed to it- then what can you do? But really, it isn't that weird, think of it from the perspective of living with three male cousins. | ||
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JingleHell
United States11308 Posts
Odds are, the random dudes aren't sex offenders. They may even be openly gay. I mean, you probably see tons of people's girlfriends and wives in a day, have you ever done anything criminal towards them? If she's really that uncomfortable with it, then sure, do what's needed, but by the same token, it sounds like one or both of you is/are paranoid to a rather unhealthy extreme. | ||
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QuanticHawk
United States32159 Posts
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DwmC_Foefen
Belgium2186 Posts
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Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
On March 30 2011 04:36 munchmunch wrote: I'm Canadian, and I don't really understand your expectation that they would try and arrange either unisex or gender balanced quarters, or that weird dynamics would arise. Unless you two are still young enough to think that you need to be friends or have a social life with everyone you live with. That said, you are absolutely right that the only thing that matters is whether or not she is comfortable with the situation. One thing she might ask is whether or not there will be someone who can act as a temporary "resident supervisor" if one is needed. If there is, she might be more comfortable with the living arrangements. If not, this point can probably be used to bolster her argument against the arrangements. Well she's 20 - and I can see that it's not that "bad" so to speak but merely weird as from experience, the system usually tries to make a 1:1 mix or split into unisex rooms. And yeah, as for her, she's had "rough life experiences"? So I think that it's completely understandable that she wouldn't be entirely comfortable with the whole situation. It's not rare that I'll hear about meeting really weird people in student exchanges and such. On March 30 2011 04:40 DwmC_Foefen wrote: Are you maybe scared she'll fall in love with one of the dudes? No, but like someone mentioned earlier, "i trust her but i don't trust 3 random dudes". Sure they're probably alright... Probably. | ||
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JingleHell
United States11308 Posts
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Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
On March 30 2011 04:37 JingleHell wrote:it sounds like one or both of you is/are paranoid to a rather unhealthy extreme. No no, really nothing extreme about it. I'm not freaking out and nor is she, but she was worried and uncomfortable with it, and since it's 1 month we figured that we might as well make it comfortable for her. | ||
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Enervate
United States1769 Posts
Edit: Ok, I reread OP and seems like it's four separate rooms. That's not too unusual, but if she's not comfortable with it, then you should see what you can do to change it. | ||
Chill
Calgary26004 Posts
On March 30 2011 04:32 Djzapz wrote: Well according to pretty much everybody I know in real life and most of my canadian/US friends it's weird to put a girl in an apartment with 3 guys, so maybe that's just how we roll. That's very possible. Hi, I'm from Canada, and I think this situation is fine and wouldn't have given it a second thought. Edit: I'm sure all this takes is a phone call and her saying "I feel uncomfortable in this setup". Have you done that? | ||
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sikyon
Canada1045 Posts
I go to Waterloo. I've done 6 4 month co-op terms, as has every one of my engineering friends. Nobody pays for housing, the companies pay us. We've all lived with girls, guys, whatever. Sometimes it's not the best living conditions (I once lived with 4 girls and MASSIVE drama went on in that house...) But it comes down to the people. If you don't like it don't do it. But frankly it's standard to live with people of the opposite gender. | ||
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LittleAtari
Jordan1090 Posts
The two of you should talk to her school and just be like "this is completely unusual and it makes it even more intimidating for women who want to pursue a male dominated field such as architecture." I think the two of you are being completely reasonable and I don't think this has anything to do with trust or society's current place on mixed-gender living. | ||
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bonifaceviii
Canada2890 Posts
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Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
On March 30 2011 04:52 Enervate wrote: Are there four rooms and bathrooms or is it a 2 bed 2 bath thing? The latter would be pretty weird. The former doesn't seem too bad. 4 rooms and they don't each have a bathroom I believe, not sure if there's only 1 common bathroom or more. Then theres a common fridge and living room and stuff. I admit it's not that bad but it doesn't change the fact that even I wouldn't like to live with strangers for entirely different reasons. | ||
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Chill
Calgary26004 Posts
On March 30 2011 04:55 LittleAtari wrote: yea it does seem weird that a school would arrange that. I think it's great that you're willing to put up the money to send her. Honestly, I dont think it's safe for her to be sharing an apartment with three random men. How is that not safe? Am I naiive? When a woman meets three random strange men in a safe setting in a safe country, how often does something bad happen? Like 0.00001%? As I said I may be ridiculously naiive, but what exactly is unsafe about this situation? | ||
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JingleHell
United States11308 Posts
Might be the cheaper alternative. The two of you should talk to her school and just be like "this is completely unusual and it makes it even more intimidating for women who want to pursue a male dominated field such as architecture." Yes, helpless woman line is incredibly liberating. | ||
CTStalker
Canada9720 Posts
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Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
On March 30 2011 04:55 sikyon wrote: If you aren't satisfied with what the school has done, move out. The school did something which we consider to be somewhat questionable, but the issue is entirely fixable by us. The school didn't even have to pay for it in the first place, so it's just weird, not bad. Hi, I'm from Canada, and I think this situation is fine and wouldn't have given it a second thought. Edit: I'm sure all this takes is a phone call and her saying "I feel uncomfortable in this setup". Have you done that? She hasn't yet. She'll be working on trying to get the money from them so we can rent a place for her to live alone. Since many people don't seem to understand her concerns because I haven't really explained it, she got punched in the face by a man once, which broke her nose. She didn't go crazy or anything but she more careful than a person to whom that didn't happen. She's not worried enough that she wouldn't have gone if that had been her only option, but it would have made her nervous. How is that not safe? Am I naiive? When a woman meets three random strange men in a safe setting in a safe country, how often does something bad happen? Like 0.00001%? As I said I may be ridiculously naiive, but what exactly is unsafe about this situation? Safe country? Safer than Sierra Leone yes but bad things happen. On March 30 2011 04:55 LittleAtari wrote: yea it does seem weird that a school would arrange that. I think it's great that you're willing to put up the money to send her. Honestly, I dont think it's safe for her to be sharing an apartment with three random men. The two of you should talk to her school and just be like "this is completely unusual and it makes it even more intimidating for women who want to pursue a male dominated field such as architecture." I think the two of you are being completely reasonable and I don't think this has anything to do with trust or society's current place on mixed-gender living. Eh, we lock our doors for a reason  | ||
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