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On March 30 2011 07:31 Raeleigh wrote:
Maybe it's just me, but I don't find it that weird. o___o
If she had requested to be living with girls, I'd find it a bit off, but if nothing was asked, then I don't find it that odd.
You're growing up and you're adults. o___o'' I don't see a problem.
But what if one of those guys is like Hey, cute camera!
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On March 30 2011 06:38 Hawk wrote:Show nested quote +On March 30 2011 06:17 Djzapz wrote:
And also, stop worrying about my perspective and try to think about it from her perspective if you want to actually understand.
from her perspective, i would say it would be similar to me suffering from some random act of violence, and then determining that everyone that is a part of the particular ethnic group that the person represents is likely to do the same thing to me furthermore, it's at a university. what kind of savages do you (or your girlfriend) think go to a university that she'll be in imminent danger because she's in the presence of males??
Because they have penisiessss you know what they are for!!! Also college women in the 1st to 2nd year are the most common victims of date rape basically something like 20% 1 in 5 are sexually assaulted during those years, which doesn't always mean rape, those numbers or somewhere to 5-13%... that's also in the US i think it's the number from the department of justice not sure how old the figure is.
My GF lived with guys before during her internships in Virgina and NY nothing happened then although one of the guys had a dog and now she wants a puppy.
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On March 30 2011 07:40 Chairman Ray wrote:
There's another solution you could opt for.
If you can get in contact with the three guys, then maybe you can have your girlfriend chat with them over the phone or webcam or something. Just talk about stuff like bathroom system, fridge space, smoking/non-smoking, etc. If the three guys seem decent, then it will make you both feel more comfortable about staying there, and if one of them seems a bit off, then you know for sure you don't want to stay there.
Good point, I'll run that by her and see what she thinks of it. Danke.
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I dno. If she sees one of the guys and thinks he's really cute and then becomes really eager to move in, you could have a whole nother kind of problem on your hands. One that calling the school will never fix 
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On March 30 2011 08:11 StorkHwaiting wrote:I dno. If she sees one of the guys and thinks he's really cute and then becomes really eager to move in, you could have a whole nother kind of problem on your hands. One that calling the school will never fix
If that was going to happen, he'd be better off knowing it before wasting the month anyways. Given he's willing to dump a fair chunk of cash into this, I would hope they're more serious than that.
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On March 30 2011 08:11 StorkHwaiting wrote:I dno. If she sees one of the guys and thinks he's really cute and then becomes really eager to move in, you could have a whole nother kind of problem on your hands. One that calling the school will never fix
Yeah if that was going to happen, it could just as well happen locally. It's really not what worries me, and like the guy above me said, we're more serious than that. Been together for 5 years.
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On March 30 2011 08:18 Djzapz wrote:Show nested quote +On March 30 2011 08:11 StorkHwaiting wrote:I dno. If she sees one of the guys and thinks he's really cute and then becomes really eager to move in, you could have a whole nother kind of problem on your hands. One that calling the school will never fix Yeah if that was going to happen, it could just as well happen locally. It's really not what worries me, and like the guy above me said, we're more serious than that. Been together for 5 years.
I did almost add a caveat to that statement, mind you, but decided it might sound insensitive. In the army, I saw all KINDS of stranger things happen, age/life experience are REALLY relevant.
Although not your own impression of experience for either of you, unfortunately, which makes it kind of impossible to judge. No offense, but that can be almost impossible to self-diagnose, aside from true-false statements about things that have happened.
Your response decided me that throwing this in wouldn't offend you. You seem fairly rational and calm, which does give you (in my book) about a 15% better chance of judging the likelihood of her doing something like that.
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On March 30 2011 07:41 Chairman Ray wrote:Show nested quote +On March 30 2011 07:31 Raeleigh wrote:
Maybe it's just me, but I don't find it that weird. o___o
If she had requested to be living with girls, I'd find it a bit off, but if nothing was asked, then I don't find it that odd.
You're growing up and you're adults. o___o'' I don't see a problem. But what if one of those guys is like Hey, cute camera!
I don't understand what you're saying. >_>'' Sorry.
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On March 30 2011 08:25 JingleHell wrote:Show nested quote +On March 30 2011 08:18 Djzapz wrote:On March 30 2011 08:11 StorkHwaiting wrote:I dno. If she sees one of the guys and thinks he's really cute and then becomes really eager to move in, you could have a whole nother kind of problem on your hands. One that calling the school will never fix Yeah if that was going to happen, it could just as well happen locally. It's really not what worries me, and like the guy above me said, we're more serious than that. Been together for 5 years. I did almost add a caveat to that statement, mind you, but decided it might sound insensitive. In the army, I saw all KINDS of stranger things happen, age/life experience are REALLY relevant. Although not your own impression of experience for either of you, unfortunately, which makes it kind of impossible to judge. No offense, but that can be almost impossible to self-diagnose, aside from true-false statements about things that have happened. Your response decided me that throwing this in wouldn't offend you. You seem fairly rational and calm, which does give you (in my book) about a 15% better chance of judging the likelihood of her doing something like that.
People can always surprise you, especially when it comes to things like relationships. It don't matter how smart, rational, or calm the guy is. Sometimes you just never know. Not trying to sound morbid or overly paranoid here, but like you said, all kinds of things happen in life. Some of them not nice
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On March 30 2011 08:18 Djzapz wrote:Show nested quote +On March 30 2011 08:11 StorkHwaiting wrote:I dno. If she sees one of the guys and thinks he's really cute and then becomes really eager to move in, you could have a whole nother kind of problem on your hands. One that calling the school will never fix Yeah if that was going to happen, it could just as well happen locally. It's really not what worries me, and like the guy above me said, we're more serious than that. Been together for 5 years.
So what are you scared about then? Why'd you make the thread?
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On March 30 2011 08:47 StorkHwaiting wrote:Show nested quote +On March 30 2011 08:25 JingleHell wrote:On March 30 2011 08:18 Djzapz wrote:On March 30 2011 08:11 StorkHwaiting wrote:I dno. If she sees one of the guys and thinks he's really cute and then becomes really eager to move in, you could have a whole nother kind of problem on your hands. One that calling the school will never fix Yeah if that was going to happen, it could just as well happen locally. It's really not what worries me, and like the guy above me said, we're more serious than that. Been together for 5 years. I did almost add a caveat to that statement, mind you, but decided it might sound insensitive. In the army, I saw all KINDS of stranger things happen, age/life experience are REALLY relevant. Although not your own impression of experience for either of you, unfortunately, which makes it kind of impossible to judge. No offense, but that can be almost impossible to self-diagnose, aside from true-false statements about things that have happened. Your response decided me that throwing this in wouldn't offend you. You seem fairly rational and calm, which does give you (in my book) about a 15% better chance of judging the likelihood of her doing something like that. People can always surprise you, especially when it comes to things like relationships. It don't matter how smart, rational, or calm the guy is. Sometimes you just never know. Not trying to sound morbid or overly paranoid here, but like you said, all kinds of things happen in life. Some of them not nice
Hehe, I trust her but I'm just human, as is she.
On March 30 2011 08:57 a176 wrote:Show nested quote +On March 30 2011 08:18 Djzapz wrote:On March 30 2011 08:11 StorkHwaiting wrote:I dno. If she sees one of the guys and thinks he's really cute and then becomes really eager to move in, you could have a whole nother kind of problem on your hands. One that calling the school will never fix Yeah if that was going to happen, it could just as well happen locally. It's really not what worries me, and like the guy above me said, we're more serious than that. Been together for 5 years. So what are you scared about then? Why'd you make the thread?
Like I said, this is not so much about me. Many people seem to back me up when I say it's weird for an institution from my country to put a girl in an apartment with 3 guys. It's unlike anything I've seen around here.
It also made her uneasy and nervous, and by extension that bothered me. I figured I'd make a thread to see what people think of it - to find out that there are people on both side although none of the people that I've personally told about it disagree with my opinion.
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Dj another way you could explain the situation to some of these TLers is to ask them to imagine their daughter going away to college, and her accommodations involve living in a 4-room apartment with 3 men. Ask them if as fathers they would have any problem with that.
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On March 30 2011 10:38 StorkHwaiting wrote:
Dj another way you could explain the situation to some of these TLers is to ask them to imagine their daughter going away to college, and her accommodations involve living in a 4-room apartment with 3 men. Ask them if as fathers they would have any problem with that.
Good point!
Try to imagine being her too (don't pretend you've never done that). Scary world in the body of a weak little thing.
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Ever heard of co-ed living? It's basically the same thing and people manage somehow.
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On March 30 2011 08:39 Raeleigh wrote:Show nested quote +On March 30 2011 07:41 Chairman Ray wrote:On March 30 2011 07:31 Raeleigh wrote:
Maybe it's just me, but I don't find it that weird. o___o
If she had requested to be living with girls, I'd find it a bit off, but if nothing was asked, then I don't find it that odd.
You're growing up and you're adults. o___o'' I don't see a problem. But what if one of those guys is like Hey, cute camera! I don't understand what you're saying. >_>'' Sorry.
Referencing your blog post about how you met your BF I believe 
TL REMEMBERS EVERYTHING
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On March 30 2011 12:13 meaculpa wrote:
Ever heard of co-ed living? It's basically the same thing and people manage somehow.
Yes. And they make that choice and meet the people beforehand. I still think that it's questionable that the school didn't do it differently.
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the Dagon Knight4006 Posts
On March 30 2011 12:41 Djzapz wrote:Show nested quote +On March 30 2011 12:13 meaculpa wrote:
Ever heard of co-ed living? It's basically the same thing and people manage somehow. Yes. And they make that choice and meet the people beforehand. I still think that it's questionable that the school didn't do it differently.
Over here that's not the case, I know at least one female student living in an apartment with four guys and no other girls. I only know because I often have tea at her place and everyone is perfectly lovely.
I may know other women in the same situation, but nobody has brought it up because it really isn't that big a deal.
Also, this:
On March 30 2011 10:40 Djzapz wrote:
Try to imagine being her too (don't pretend you've never done that). Scary world in the body of a weak little thing.
Is massively sexist.
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On March 30 2011 23:38 SirJolt wrote:Also, this: Show nested quote +On March 30 2011 10:40 Djzapz wrote:
Try to imagine being her too (don't pretend you've never done that). Scary world in the body of a weak little thing. Is massively sexist.
It is not sexist to observe that statistically, the fairer sex is aptly named - being smaller, shorter, weaker. Even less so to say it about an individual.
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File a compliant or call the school and question their decision. I dont think they would do that purposely, probably a mistake.
On March 30 2011 12:13 meaculpa wrote:
Ever heard of co-ed living? It's basically the same thing and people manage somehow.
I have a friend that goes to Waterloo - hes in the Co-ed building and females and males dont share the same room but they are on the same floor.
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On March 30 2011 10:40 Djzapz wrote:Show nested quote +On March 30 2011 10:38 StorkHwaiting wrote:
Dj another way you could explain the situation to some of these TLers is to ask them to imagine their daughter going away to college, and her accommodations involve living in a 4-room apartment with 3 men. Ask them if as fathers they would have any problem with that. Good point! Try to imagine being her too (don't pretend you've never done that). Scary world in the body of a weak little thing.
Omg this sentence is ridiculous it makes me want to gag. If somebody said that to my face I might just attempt to whack some sense into them. A 20 year old female isn't some vulnerable weak little thing thrown out into the a terrifying world where all men are predators and there's no safety except for the arms of her strong, rock of a boyfriend. I'm not saying that's what you think, but saying something like that very well implies that.
With regard to the living situation, I don't think it's a big deal because it's only for a month. And if these other students are part of the same program, then there's really nothing to be worried about. If however they were random men the university picked up off the streets to house with her then there'd be cause for concern. Sure, it's not the most comfortable of situations, but if they're also from neighboring schools participating in the same program as her, then exercising some common sense with regard to safety and being aware that it's not the safest of situations (but that the level of danger is low) and acting accordingly, it shouldn't be a problem imo.
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EPT
