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On March 30 2011 10:38 StorkHwaiting wrote:
Dj another way you could explain the situation to some of these TLers is to ask them to imagine their daughter going away to college, and her accommodations involve living in a 4-room apartment with 3 men. Ask them if as fathers they would have any problem with that.
ah yes, because if she's with all girls in her suite in a giant college, there's absolutely zero chance that any of her male neighbors in a co-ed building wont headbutt the door down in a fit of drunken fratbro range, punch her in the face and caveman her back to her room for a nice talk over some roofie coladas.
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Dunno why you're getting so much hate. If she's uncomfortable I'd wanna do something as well. You guys realize that *most* universities divide on-campus living between males and females right?
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On March 31 2011 01:12 Bereft wrote:Show nested quote +On March 30 2011 10:40 Djzapz wrote:On March 30 2011 10:38 StorkHwaiting wrote:
Dj another way you could explain the situation to some of these TLers is to ask them to imagine their daughter going away to college, and her accommodations involve living in a 4-room apartment with 3 men. Ask them if as fathers they would have any problem with that. Good point! Try to imagine being her too (don't pretend you've never done that). Scary world in the body of a weak little thing. Omg this sentence is ridiculous it makes me want to gag. If somebody said that to my face I might just attempt to whack some sense into them. A 20 year old female isn't some vulnerable weak little thing thrown out into the a terrifying world where all men are predators and there's no safety except for the arms of her strong, rock of a boyfriend. I'm not saying that's what you think, but saying something like that very well implies that.
I'm sorry you got that impression, it's not what I meant. She's constantly surrounded by people which isn't a problem - the issue is that she would have had to sleep in a room which can be opened easily. Me being there doesn't make a difference - the fact that here she's behind locked doors here gives her a sense of security, and intimacy too. It's her place.
Some seem to think that the "weak little thing" part was out of line but I was just describing her, and really, she kind of is a weak little thing. She knows that and it's a concern of hers. I mean some might call it sexist but it's true, as that she might have "something someone else might want" and she doesn't feel like she can defend herself. I mean, it's basic society stuff. There are bad people of varying degree in universities.
Blame me all you want, I'm not the one beating up women. I think it's reasonable to be pessimistic about human nature that being fully exposed to 3 strangers would cause a discomfort to someone who's experienced bad stuff first hand.
With regard to the living situation, I don't think it's a big deal because it's only for a month. And if these other students are part of the same program, then there's really nothing to be worried about. If however they were random men the university picked up off the streets to house with her then there'd be cause for concern. Sure, it's not the most comfortable of situations, but if they're also from neighboring schools participating in the same program as her, then exercising some common sense with regard to safety and being aware that it's not the safest of situations (but that the level of danger is low) and acting accordingly, it shouldn't be a problem imo.
They're people from other schools and different programs.
On March 31 2011 01:39 lac29 wrote:
Dunno why you're getting so much hate. If she's uncomfortable I'd wanna do something as well. You guys realize that *most* universities divide on-campus living between males and females right?
People have the mentality that since other people do it, then it should be fine for everyone. They'll bring up anecdotal evidence that it can work and just figure it works for everyone, never taking into account the way she feels about it, and bringing up gender equality, as if equality meant we're the same - which we aren't.
In the end I'm just defending HER position, for the most part, and people disagree with what SHE thinks is best for her.
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On March 31 2011 01:44 Djzapz wrote:
I'm sorry you got that impression, it's not what I meant. She's constantly surrounded by people which isn't a problem - the issue is that she would have had to sleep in a room which can be opened easily.
Son of a bitch!!! 25 years and I've never known my dick can double as a lock pick.
I suppose a woman would be too busy in the kitchen to master this skill??
What's gonna happen if she transfers and gets female roomies who have guy friends over all the time???
User was temp banned for this post.
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On March 31 2011 01:49 Hawk wrote:Show nested quote +On March 31 2011 01:44 Djzapz wrote:
I'm sorry you got that impression, it's not what I meant. She's constantly surrounded by people which isn't a problem - the issue is that she would have had to sleep in a room which can be opened easily.
Son of a bitch!!! 25 years and I've never known my dick can double as a lock pick. I suppose a woman would be too busy in the kitchen to master this skill?? What's gonna happen if she transfers and gets female roomies who have guy friends over all the time???
Maybe you should go tell her that she shouldn't be somewhat worried about sharing an apartment with 3 guys. What are you going to tell her? Get over it girl, if your door is locked you're immune to harm even if they're right outside. By the way if you have to take at leak in the middle of the night, Godspeed.
25 years and you didn't even bother to consider that it doesn't matter what you think anyway, as if she's not happy with it, she's just not happy with it? I mean come on, what's your argument.
The idea is that she's uncomfortable and kind of worried, which you can't argue against - you can say it's somewhat irrational but I can say that there are statistics showing that something bad could happen, and so if she's worried about a 0.5% (made up figure) chance of anything happening, she's entitled to be bothered by it.
As for the female roomies who have guy friends over, that'd be better for her anyway. If it was 2 guys and 2 girls, she would be more comfortable with it. Don't ask me why, but I suspect it's because if the guys bother them, it's easier for 2 people to handle it. Something like that. I mean to me, it just makes sense so I don't understand why you don't see that.
And I'm not talking about worst case scenario here. It's not like it's "she's going to get raped or nothing"... There's all kinds of stuff that could make her stay there unenjoyable. And being 2 girls and 2 guys doesn't necessarily mean it would be better - but she would be more comfortable with it. So again, how can you argue that? Is she just WRONG?
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On March 31 2011 01:49 Hawk wrote:Show nested quote +On March 31 2011 01:44 Djzapz wrote:
I'm sorry you got that impression, it's not what I meant. She's constantly surrounded by people which isn't a problem - the issue is that she would have had to sleep in a room which can be opened easily.
Son of a bitch!!! 25 years and I've never known my dick can double as a lock pick. I suppose a woman would be too busy in the kitchen to master this skill?? What's gonna happen if she transfers and gets female roomies who have guy friends over all the time???
I think you're being a bit unfair here. He's not talking about a safety concern, he's talking about an irrational discomfort. When you look at college dorms, you have dorms that are completely female or completely male. In co-ed dorms, you have some floors that are female only or male only. In co-ed floors, they try to divide it so that there's an even ratio between males and females. All this goes to show that a lot of people are naturally uncomfortable living with the opposite sex. There's nothing physically wrong with living with the opposite sex, but you can't deny that an irrational discomfort does not exist. It's perfectly reasonable to not want to face a situation that you are not comfortable with, even if there's nothing wrong with it. For example, I don't like heights, so I don't look down from tall buildings, even though I'm shielded by a glass window. I know I'm not going to fall through the window, but it still doesn't mean I shouldn't be uncomfortable with it. I'm sure is she had to live with those three guys, she would do just fine, but she does have a choice where she wants to live, so between living somewhere uncomfortable and somewhere that feels more safe, it's reasonable to choose the latter. Gender preferences in dorm arrangements has always been something that schools have accommodated in the past, nobody was ever forced into a co-ed dorm, so it's perfectly reasonable that they should accommodate her in this situation.
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On March 31 2011 01:33 Hawk wrote:Show nested quote +On March 30 2011 10:38 StorkHwaiting wrote:
Dj another way you could explain the situation to some of these TLers is to ask them to imagine their daughter going away to college, and her accommodations involve living in a 4-room apartment with 3 men. Ask them if as fathers they would have any problem with that. ah yes, because if she's with all girls in her suite in a giant college, there's absolutely zero chance that any of her male neighbors in a co-ed building wont headbutt the door down in a fit of drunken fratbro range, punch her in the face and caveman her back to her room for a nice talk over some roofie coladas.
Someone obviously hasn't watched Divine Secrets of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood enough times.
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Well anyway, if anybody's still interested in this little story, she made a complaint and the school said it was a mistake of some kind, although the internships lady handles individual cases so I'm not sure what that's all about. They'll be paying for a part of her rent because they don't have any other rooms to offer.
It's reasonable but yeah, the main situation is still puzzling.
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EPT
