The "Steven Syndrome" - guys becoming wimps... - Page 2
Blogs > Djzapz |
Fauxseude
United States13 Posts
| ||
Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
On June 15 2011 12:01 Fauxseude wrote: Well time to reread half of it because when you said "Candy" I thought you were talking about actual sugary chocolate treats. lol =( | ||
Helios.Star
United States548 Posts
On June 15 2011 11:57 Thereisnosaurus wrote: Funnily enough, one of the side effects of being a super nice guy is that though I don't get much 'candy' () that little I do get is generally relaxed without much expectation.The girls I know are all awesome, chill and smart. I think this syndrome you're talking about is symptomatic not of genuinely nice guys, but of guys who are kind of desperate, and notnice enough to be able to keep themselves independent. since I've always been able to make my decisions objectively and shrug off peer pressure or the feminine version of that, I've never had a problem. Girls who want to use me don't get anywhere, or at least they only get what I'm happy to give them, and that means I can maintain relationships along with the rest of my life fairly comfortably. So I don't think every guy is bound to fall into a servile heap the first time a girl rubs up against him. in a sense it is those most inclined to try and manipulate the situation who are most vulnerable to being manipulated themselves. You couldve saved me some time by posting "I dont have Steven Syndrome because I'm awesome and everybody who does is desperate, weak, not nice, and easily manipulated". Good post. | ||
Impulsa
United States122 Posts
| ||
Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
On June 15 2011 14:05 Impulsa wrote: I almost got pulled into this syndrome like two years ago. I ended up not talking to the girl who gave me "candy". BROS BEFO HOEZ 4 LYFE. Neva forget. | ||
Khale
3 Posts
Men will always do stupid shit for women, regardless the cause. But if any friend of mine abandons all their friends for some random sleeping material, they truly deserve all they get. It's all part of the learning process that is dating. Deal, and accept. | ||
Cuddle
Sweden1345 Posts
On June 15 2011 11:57 Thereisnosaurus wrote: Funnily enough, one of the side effects of being a super nice guy is that though I don't get much 'candy' () that little I do get is generally relaxed without much expectation.The girls I know are all awesome, chill and smart. I think this syndrome you're talking about is symptomatic not of genuinely nice guys, but of guys who are kind of desperate, and notnice enough to be able to keep themselves independent. since I've always been able to make my decisions objectively and shrug off peer pressure or the feminine version of that, I've never had a problem. Girls who want to use me don't get anywhere, or at least they only get what I'm happy to give them, and that means I can maintain relationships along with the rest of my life fairly comfortably. So I don't think every guy is bound to fall into a servile heap the first time a girl rubs up against him. in a sense it is those most inclined to try and manipulate the situation who are most vulnerable to being manipulated themselves. Sounds like a Steven in denial to me. (j/k) Me, I married my first girl and been happy ever since. When I think about it, I pretty much switched over to her friends and made them mine. I keep some of the old friends but most of them got cut. I guess I'm just lucky my girl isn't a crazy one and is into gaming so I got to "keep" my hobby. I also think all guys can relate to Steven in some way. | ||
dakalro
Romania525 Posts
Once hooked I found that I'm not myself anymore and would do almost anything I'm asked. That's also why I've avoided any kind of a relationship since I was 21 or 22 (7 years). I just didn't like how malleable I was while in love and how easy it was for them to hurt me. | ||
Dhystopia
United States27 Posts
| ||
Crazyeyes
Canada1342 Posts
On June 15 2011 11:22 jcroisdale wrote: Happens' to' everyone' at' least' once. Whats going on here? All these quotation marks... WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY? Oddly enough, I was thinking about 'Steven Syndrome' today. I just didn't have a label for it. I guess I dont know for sure, but if I met that type of girl, I think I'd tell that bitch to gtfo. I really hope so, at least. ;/ | ||
heishe
Germany2284 Posts
On June 15 2011 17:34 dakalro wrote: Everyone changes and becomes a slave to actual love. The only thing you can do is try and find a girl that you actually want to change for and that will not want changes you wouldn't make if not in love. That's really really bad advice. If you give up things you love for a woman, you'll never be happy in your life. The first few months will be OK, but after that, when the regularity of everyday life settles into your relationship, you will get really unhappy about the things you gave up and what you turned them in for. A women shouldn't be together with you in spite of what you do and love, but because of it. If your partner ever wants to change anything significant about things that you do or about your personality(unless it's obviously a bad thing that you had hidden from them a long time, i.e. addiction to heavy drugs or some shit like that), there's already something inherently wrong in the relationship and you should consider breaking it off right then and there. Of course this doesn't include simple things like sitting down while peeing. If your girlfriend wishes so hard to go out with you to some fancy place, there's nothing wrong in making her wish come true and going to that fancy place. | ||
dakalro
Romania525 Posts
On June 15 2011 18:17 heishe wrote: That's really really bad advice. If you give up things you love for a woman, you'll never be happy in your life. The first few months will be OK, but after that, when the regularity of everyday life settles into your relationship, you will get really unhappy about the things you gave up and what you turned them in for. A women shouldn't be together with you in spite of what you do and love, but because of it. If your partner ever wants to change anything significant about things that you do or about your personality(unless it's obviously a bad thing that you had hidden from them a long time, i.e. addiction to heavy drugs or some shit like that), there's already something inherently wrong in the relationship and you should consider breaking it off right then and there. Of course this doesn't include simple things like sitting down while peeing. If your girlfriend wishes so hard to go out with you to some fancy place, there's nothing wrong in making her wish come true and going to that fancy place. You do realize you will change when you love someone, without you even noticing it, without her even asking and you will be oh so happy for a few years. The whole point is to get to know the woman before you commit your heart and figure out what her likes/dislikes are - compatibility. I never said change everything or even change anything important, I just said change. If you love her you will be trained without even noticing it and will be a happy puppy for quite some time. You consider things like sitting down while peeing simple? )) I know a guy that would rather pee on his knees than sit, he's just extremely uncomfortable with it, tell him changing is simple. I don't know about feeling miserable. I've seen what I would consider really strong men turn to lambs when in love and being so very very happy, just seems that it's a very powerful drug and I avoid it like the plague, especially after my own experiences. I've also seen that this infatuation only lasts a couple of years or so and that's when you start to wake up and figure out if you are ok with your new self or not. | ||
LonelyIslands
Canada590 Posts
| ||
OmniEulogy
Canada6590 Posts
| ||
ComaDose
Canada10349 Posts
Everyone wants to do something differently from their partner at some time. Doing what a certain person wants is giving ground in the tug of war. In a good relationship neither partner is tugging very hard. And both partners consent ground often. In the case of Jessica versus Steven. Its more like Jessica is running backwards and Steven tied his side of the rope around his neck so he could run after her faster. Maybe this trend is retribution for the thousands of years we didn't even give women an end of the rope. But its very unfortunate and a relationship like this will never make someone truly happy. | ||
Divinek
Canada4045 Posts
On June 15 2011 11:57 Thereisnosaurus wrote: Funnily enough, one of the side effects of being a super nice guy is that though I don't get much 'candy' () that little I do get is generally relaxed without much expectation.The girls I know are all awesome, chill and smart. I think this syndrome you're talking about is symptomatic not of genuinely nice guys, but of guys who are kind of desperate, and notnice enough to be able to keep themselves independent. since I've always been able to make my decisions objectively and shrug off peer pressure or the feminine version of that, I've never had a problem. Girls who want to use me don't get anywhere, or at least they only get what I'm happy to give them, and that means I can maintain relationships along with the rest of my life fairly comfortably. So I don't think every guy is bound to fall into a servile heap the first time a girl rubs up against him. in a sense it is those most inclined to try and manipulate the situation who are most vulnerable to being manipulated themselves. That's such a cop out. Being a nice guy doesn't mean you can't get lots of sex, you just have to execute it right man. I'm a nice guy and I've never had any problems, though there is a difference between a nice guy and a complete pussy too. Fortunately now I have found the girl I plan to marry so no more adventurous days of playing the field! | ||
heishe
Germany2284 Posts
On June 15 2011 21:25 dakalro wrote: You do realize you will change when you love someone, without you even noticing it, without her even asking and you will be oh so happy for a few years. The whole point is to get to know the woman before you commit your heart and figure out what her likes/dislikes are - compatibility. I never said change everything or even change anything important, I just said change. If you love her you will be trained without even noticing it and will be a happy puppy for quite some time. You consider things like sitting down while peeing simple? )) I know a guy that would rather pee on his knees than sit, he's just extremely uncomfortable with it, tell him changing is simple. I don't know about feeling miserable. I've seen what I would consider really strong men turn to lambs when in love and being so very very happy, just seems that it's a very powerful drug and I avoid it like the plague, especially after my own experiences. I've also seen that this infatuation only lasts a couple of years or so and that's when you start to wake up and figure out if you are ok with your new self or not. Can you make some concrete examples of things that people automatically change when they're in love with someone? Because I can't think of anything, and as far as I'm aware I've always been the same, with and without a girlfriend. | ||
Servius_Fulvius
United States947 Posts
It's ok to pass up an opportunity if it would be a bad idea. I don't exactly have women beating down my door (I wish!), but in the last year and a half I passed on one of my best friends (she wasn't dealing with a lot of harsh emotional problems that NEEDED attention) and another person who lives about 4 hours away (she essentially wanted me to "get in line" for if and when her terrible relationship ended). I don't care that I don't date often - going for either of those two would have been a terrible idea. I get what you're saying about this "Steven Syndrome" though. I fell for it in high school. The worst part was I never actually dated the girl I sold my soul to (worse - we became best friends!). Those two and a half years I spent fixated on her could have been spent on something a LOT more productive. On the other hand, without the experience I wouldn't have part of the self-respect I have now. Yeah, it's sad when we see friends sell their soul like Steven, but some things are better learned the hard way... | ||
fOrQQ
Hong Kong321 Posts
| ||
Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
On June 15 2011 21:29 LonelyIslands wrote: I think the post above me has said it best. Do you really expect to hang around with your group of friends for the rest of your life looking at girls as evil bitches who come to steal you away from the nest. People fall in love, and everyone's love is different. If your friend is really happy, knows what is going on, I would be happy for him as well. Nothings stopping you from picking up the phone and still talking to him, or, in this robot designed and run matrix of ours we call 2011, text him. I'm not misogynistic in the slightest... there are evil bitches though. Also, there are plenty of good reasons to break off from a group of friends, so I don't expect all of us to stick together. This guy moved away - now he's repairing fighter jet 500 miles away. I was talking about my high school group of friends and I hardly see any of them at this point actually, but it's fine. And picking up the phone to talk to Steven would just be sad... | ||
| ||