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Alright, this blog may come off as stupid, it kind of is, but bear with me - it may have happened to you. Also it's got gossip and random ranting, so if you don't like it, you can leave. (I personally hate these threads unless they're my own!)
First let me explain what the "Steven syndrome" is, as it's a running joke between a couple of old friends and I... It originated about 4-5 years ago when I was about 17. Steven was a thoroughly awesome friend, although his bad looks and and his weird personality kept him from getting along with the ladies. He was great to be around until he met this "easy" girl, Jessica, who was notorious for... well, being easy (long track record of cheating and sleeping around -- she's been "friendly" with a large number of my peoples)
He fell in love with Jessica, who gave him "candy" (that means sex) which he'd never had before, and that was enough to put him on an extremely short leash. Lonely guys are extremely susceptible to feminine charms, so even though it was known that she was a "bad" girl, he dedicated his life to her. Also, though it may be normal for someone to spend less hours playing videogames after meeting a girl, he quit entirely overnight. Over the course of 2 weeks, he cut the bridges with all of his friends and spent all of his time with her and her friends, as she would get angry if he didn't.
It took less than a month for her to start sleeping around - behavior which he promptly forgave, to this day multiple times, as she promised she would never do it again every time. At this point, Steven is no longer worthy of our respect as he is, for all intents and purposes, her dog. That's what the Steven Syndrome is: guys meeting girls and becoming useless.
Of course, losing a good friend always sucks and Steven Syndrome might be more common among us nerds, I suspect. Over the years, I've lost track of a few great guys because of this. It's true that there's a trend for gamers to be less lucky with the women, so maybe that's why we're particularly at risk... lots of lonely guys on TL! I've been with my gf for 6 years and I'm a bigger nerd now than I've ever been, so I like to think that I'm immune to the Steven Syndrome.
Anyhow, I post because my friend, Jason, is currently going through the early stages of the syndrome since he met this girl, Helen.
The difference is that Jason isn't a "real life friend". To give you guys an overview, Jason is a great guy - at Blizzcon 2009 he took me, 2 of my friends (whom he didn't know) and this girl to a steakhouse. He was very nice and all, but had been really lonely for a long time, and he's 30... The girl, coincidentally named Jessica, was a 25 year old military mother. At that time, she has one kid (from her boyfriend at that time) and is pregnant with another (from another guy). She also lives with her mother in a trailer park. Not good. During Blizzcon, she dumped the father of her kid and started sleeping with Jason.
He gave her money, would fly to visit her from time to time, until pressure from his friends and his family (they're Asian) made him realize that she was trash. He dumped her, and was very sad for a while because he liked getting "affection" (mostly online!) That's until recently: he met Helen at work - another easy girl! Helen is a backwards Chinese girl with morals worthy of the middle ages. She treats him like shit half the time, but gives him "candy" and "love" (I guess) - which makes him forget that she'll ignore him for a week after he refuses to go to church or karaoke with her. But he doesn't actually forget... he's always sad. She thinks that gaming is "evil" (literally) so he doesn't get to play anymore, and he's slowly getting pulled away from what he likes.
I suspect that in a few weeks, Jason will completely disappear from the radar to become another miserable grown man who had the misfortune of selling his soul in hopes to never feel lonely again. Most likely a monumental failure on his part.
R.I.P to all those who lost their identity for "love".
+ Show Spoiler +I have a female friend who suffered from the Steven Syndrome too! She was with a guy whom she though was better than her... Now that they aren't together, she's so happy - truly a beautiful, liberating sight.
 
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Evil bitches: Ruining men's lives since the dawn of time.
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Biological urges pressure anyone into conformity.
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Northern Ireland2557 Posts
What the hell is "candy"... you mean sex?
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On June 15 2011 09:31 Maliris wrote:
What the hell is "candy"... you mean sex?
Yes, even though it's not a common way to say it, I thought it gave my little text some personality. I'm sorry if you didn't like it.
I'm writing in my second language here so you have to be nice about it 
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I wish this story wasn't so true lol, but yeah to any guys that are getting sucked into the controlling grasp of some egotistical bitch, they aren't worth it trust me you will find someone better.
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Happened to some guy I know. He the only nerdy guy among my friends. I dont't like how right you are with this.
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Doesn't the "Steven syndrome" happens to 100% of the men after they have sex for the first time ?
I mean my first girl wasn't a bitch like the one in Steven story, but had she been one I'm pretty sure that I would have been a Steven, it would've take some time for me to break up. You need some life experience to not be a Steven I think.
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Northern Ireland2557 Posts
On June 15 2011 09:33 Djzapz wrote:Show nested quote +On June 15 2011 09:31 Maliris wrote:
What the hell is "candy"... you mean sex? Yes, even though it's not a common way to say it, I thought it gave my little text some personality. I'm sorry if you didn't like it. I'm writing in my second language here so you have to be nice about it
I don't mind it, was just clarifying
On topic though, it's sad how true this blog is  Personally I fear I will fall victim to it too someday...
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On June 15 2011 09:31 Maliris wrote:
What the hell is "candy"... you mean sex?
i think he means literal candy... like sweet tarts.
.____.
But idk its kinda not that ridiculous but i dont think it happens to every/all nerdy guys.
I became more nerdy and openly nerdy the farther i get into long relationships because you begin to just be completely comfortable around that person.
Maybe i am not the one to speak about this since i just broke up with my girlfriend of past... 6-7 years from highschool.. And I was in a 2 yr relationship before that.
But like honestly both of them knew i loved video games/movies/everything nerdy before hand. But I also enjoy a lot more than that and played sports/sang in choir and stuff in high school.
Imo its more about not letting what you do or like define you.
Are you going to ever meet a girl who "loves" that you play video games 1-10 hours a day? Are you ever going to find a girl who loves that you follow a sort of counter culture scene? Probably not.
Sorry guys the chances are very slim. its just finding a girl that cares about you and just wants you to be you and be happy.
Both of my last girlfriends had no problems with gaming, until they suffered because of it. Something like me being late to an important event or just ignoring a phone call cause i was in the middle of a game lol. But even then it was never a deal breaker.
(dumped the first one to win a bet [ bet was with a friend that i could get girl #2... i won the bet =D but lost the first girl i truely loved =( ].... got to keep the 2nd girl tho... for 6-7 years until i decided that her family was too fucking crazy and i was only with her cause i missed girl #1)
This doesnt just happen to nerds/gamers though. None of my RL friends are gamers except one(but he has never had a girl so he is immune to this syndrome i guess rofl). But every one of my friends has slowly broken away from the group when they got into serious relationships...
turns out sex/candy/boobs/vag are more enticing to hang out with than 4 dudes
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Did anyone else think "Oh my god! I'm Steven!" When they first started reading this blog?
On June 15 2011 09:41 MaestroSC wrote:Show nested quote +On June 15 2011 09:31 Maliris wrote:
What the hell is "candy"... you mean sex? i think he means literal candy... like sweet tarts. .____.
Really, I was under the impression he meant sex. *shrugs*
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On June 15 2011 09:36 MrCon wrote:
Doesn't the "Steven syndrome" happens to 100% of the men after they have sex for the first time ?
I mean my first girl wasn't a bitch like the one in Steven story, but had she been one I'm pretty sure that I would have been a Steven, it would've take some time for me to break up. You need some life experience to not be a Steven I think.
To a certain extent yes, but some people don't recover, so to speak.
On June 15 2011 09:41 MaestroSC wrote:
(dumped the first one to win a bet [ bet was with a friend that i could get girl #2... i won the bet =D but lost the first girl i truely loved =( ].... got to keep the 2nd girl tho... for 6-7 years until i decided that her family was too fucking crazy and i was only with her cause i missed girl #1)
You're crazy =P
On June 15 2011 09:45 obesechicken13 wrote:
Really, I was under the impression he meant sex. *shrugs*
That's the case!
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On June 15 2011 09:45 obesechicken13 wrote:Did anyone else think "Oh my god! I'm Steven!" When they first started reading this blog? Show nested quote +On June 15 2011 09:41 MaestroSC wrote:On June 15 2011 09:31 Maliris wrote:
What the hell is "candy"... you mean sex? i think he means literal candy... like sweet tarts. .____. Really, I was under the impression he meant sex. *shrugs*
Well I started thinking I used to be a Steven. Its a shitty situation to be in, because like the OP said you don't want to be alone but at the same time you know youre being treated like shit. After a while (about two years...) I decided it just wasnt worth being miserable and just broke up with her. Now I'm with a girl, for almost two years again, who not only encourages me to play more games but actually cooks for me while I do it. Its really nice to break free of the "Steven Syndrome" and find somebody who actually deserves to be with you, but I honestly feel like most people need to hit rock bottom before that process can start.
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I've always hated the very idea of Steven syndrome. I might not be the luckiest guy with the ladies but no girl is worth trading your self respect for. Okay, except for maybe platinum blonde girl at work. I'd trade my self respect for her, but I only meet a girl that beautiful once a year at most. Yikes!
Any girl that tries to change you in negative ways that you don't want to isn't worth keeping around. If she tries to take away the things that make you happy, what will you be left with when she's gone? Screw that. There's plenty of other fish in the sea.
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I know someone who decided to move to Memphis from the Midwest, chasing after a girl. He has known her for less than a month, and he already said "I think I'm going to marry this girl." Classic case of this Steven Syndrome.
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Eh, at least I'm not a spider
+ Show Spoiler +
I think I tend to change even without a girl asking me to, :d
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The things we do for love.
But I don't think they're giving up their identities. Maybe they're still searching for their identity.
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This thread reminds me of the movie "The Baxter", not the same situation but I like the name you've attributed to the behaviour.
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Happens' to' everyone' at' least' once.
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Doesn't the "Steven syndrome" happens to 100% of the men after they have sex for the first time ? I mean my first girl wasn't a bitch like the one in Steven story, but had she been one I'm pretty sure that I would have been a Steven, it would've take some time for me to break up. You need some life experience to not be a Steven I think.
Funnily enough, one of the side effects of being a super nice guy is that though I don't get much 'candy' ( ) that little I do get is generally relaxed without much expectation.The girls I know are all awesome, chill and smart. I think this syndrome you're talking about is symptomatic not of genuinely nice guys, but of guys who are kind of desperate, and notnice enough to be able to keep themselves independent.
since I've always been able to make my decisions objectively and shrug off peer pressure or the feminine version of that, I've never had a problem. Girls who want to use me don't get anywhere, or at least they only get what I'm happy to give them, and that means I can maintain relationships along with the rest of my life fairly comfortably.
So I don't think every guy is bound to fall into a servile heap the first time a girl rubs up against him. in a sense it is those most inclined to try and manipulate the situation who are most vulnerable to being manipulated themselves.
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EPT
