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Alright, this blog may come off as stupid, it kind of is, but bear with me - it may have happened to you. Also it's got gossip and random ranting, so if you don't like it, you can leave. (I personally hate these threads unless they're my own!)
First let me explain what the "Steven syndrome" is, as it's a running joke between a couple of old friends and I... It originated about 4-5 years ago when I was about 17. Steven was a thoroughly awesome friend, although his bad looks and and his weird personality kept him from getting along with the ladies. He was great to be around until he met this "easy" girl, Jessica, who was notorious for... well, being easy (long track record of cheating and sleeping around -- she's been "friendly" with a large number of my peoples)
He fell in love with Jessica, who gave him "candy" (that means sex) which he'd never had before, and that was enough to put him on an extremely short leash. Lonely guys are extremely susceptible to feminine charms, so even though it was known that she was a "bad" girl, he dedicated his life to her. Also, though it may be normal for someone to spend less hours playing videogames after meeting a girl, he quit entirely overnight. Over the course of 2 weeks, he cut the bridges with all of his friends and spent all of his time with her and her friends, as she would get angry if he didn't.
It took less than a month for her to start sleeping around - behavior which he promptly forgave, to this day multiple times, as she promised she would never do it again every time. At this point, Steven is no longer worthy of our respect as he is, for all intents and purposes, her dog. That's what the Steven Syndrome is: guys meeting girls and becoming useless.
Of course, losing a good friend always sucks and Steven Syndrome might be more common among us nerds, I suspect. Over the years, I've lost track of a few great guys because of this. It's true that there's a trend for gamers to be less lucky with the women, so maybe that's why we're particularly at risk... lots of lonely guys on TL! I've been with my gf for 6 years and I'm a bigger nerd now than I've ever been, so I like to think that I'm immune to the Steven Syndrome.
Anyhow, I post because my friend, Jason, is currently going through the early stages of the syndrome since he met this girl, Helen.
The difference is that Jason isn't a "real life friend". To give you guys an overview, Jason is a great guy - at Blizzcon 2009 he took me, 2 of my friends (whom he didn't know) and this girl to a steakhouse. He was very nice and all, but had been really lonely for a long time, and he's 30... The girl, coincidentally named Jessica, was a 25 year old military mother. At that time, she has one kid (from her boyfriend at that time) and is pregnant with another (from another guy). She also lives with her mother in a trailer park. Not good. During Blizzcon, she dumped the father of her kid and started sleeping with Jason.
He gave her money, would fly to visit her from time to time, until pressure from his friends and his family (they're Asian) made him realize that she was trash. He dumped her, and was very sad for a while because he liked getting "affection" (mostly online!) That's until recently: he met Helen at work - another easy girl! Helen is a backwards Chinese girl with morals worthy of the middle ages. She treats him like shit half the time, but gives him "candy" and "love" (I guess) - which makes him forget that she'll ignore him for a week after he refuses to go to church or karaoke with her. But he doesn't actually forget... he's always sad. She thinks that gaming is "evil" (literally) so he doesn't get to play anymore, and he's slowly getting pulled away from what he likes.
I suspect that in a few weeks, Jason will completely disappear from the radar to become another miserable grown man who had the misfortune of selling his soul in hopes to never feel lonely again. Most likely a monumental failure on his part.
R.I.P to all those who lost their identity for "love".
+ Show Spoiler +I have a female friend who suffered from the Steven Syndrome too! She was with a guy whom she though was better than her... Now that they aren't together, she's so happy - truly a beautiful, liberating sight.
 
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Evil bitches: Ruining men's lives since the dawn of time.
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Biological urges pressure anyone into conformity.
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Northern Ireland2557 Posts
What the hell is "candy"... you mean sex?
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On June 15 2011 09:31 Maliris wrote:
What the hell is "candy"... you mean sex?
Yes, even though it's not a common way to say it, I thought it gave my little text some personality. I'm sorry if you didn't like it.
I'm writing in my second language here so you have to be nice about it 
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I wish this story wasn't so true lol, but yeah to any guys that are getting sucked into the controlling grasp of some egotistical bitch, they aren't worth it trust me you will find someone better.
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Happened to some guy I know. He the only nerdy guy among my friends. I dont't like how right you are with this.
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Doesn't the "Steven syndrome" happens to 100% of the men after they have sex for the first time ?
I mean my first girl wasn't a bitch like the one in Steven story, but had she been one I'm pretty sure that I would have been a Steven, it would've take some time for me to break up. You need some life experience to not be a Steven I think.
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Northern Ireland2557 Posts
On June 15 2011 09:33 Djzapz wrote:Show nested quote +On June 15 2011 09:31 Maliris wrote:
What the hell is "candy"... you mean sex? Yes, even though it's not a common way to say it, I thought it gave my little text some personality. I'm sorry if you didn't like it. I'm writing in my second language here so you have to be nice about it
I don't mind it, was just clarifying
On topic though, it's sad how true this blog is  Personally I fear I will fall victim to it too someday...
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On June 15 2011 09:31 Maliris wrote:
What the hell is "candy"... you mean sex?
i think he means literal candy... like sweet tarts.
.____.
But idk its kinda not that ridiculous but i dont think it happens to every/all nerdy guys.
I became more nerdy and openly nerdy the farther i get into long relationships because you begin to just be completely comfortable around that person.
Maybe i am not the one to speak about this since i just broke up with my girlfriend of past... 6-7 years from highschool.. And I was in a 2 yr relationship before that.
But like honestly both of them knew i loved video games/movies/everything nerdy before hand. But I also enjoy a lot more than that and played sports/sang in choir and stuff in high school.
Imo its more about not letting what you do or like define you.
Are you going to ever meet a girl who "loves" that you play video games 1-10 hours a day? Are you ever going to find a girl who loves that you follow a sort of counter culture scene? Probably not.
Sorry guys the chances are very slim. its just finding a girl that cares about you and just wants you to be you and be happy.
Both of my last girlfriends had no problems with gaming, until they suffered because of it. Something like me being late to an important event or just ignoring a phone call cause i was in the middle of a game lol. But even then it was never a deal breaker.
(dumped the first one to win a bet [ bet was with a friend that i could get girl #2... i won the bet =D but lost the first girl i truely loved =( ].... got to keep the 2nd girl tho... for 6-7 years until i decided that her family was too fucking crazy and i was only with her cause i missed girl #1)
This doesnt just happen to nerds/gamers though. None of my RL friends are gamers except one(but he has never had a girl so he is immune to this syndrome i guess rofl). But every one of my friends has slowly broken away from the group when they got into serious relationships...
turns out sex/candy/boobs/vag are more enticing to hang out with than 4 dudes
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Did anyone else think "Oh my god! I'm Steven!" When they first started reading this blog?
On June 15 2011 09:41 MaestroSC wrote:Show nested quote +On June 15 2011 09:31 Maliris wrote:
What the hell is "candy"... you mean sex? i think he means literal candy... like sweet tarts. .____.
Really, I was under the impression he meant sex. *shrugs*
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On June 15 2011 09:36 MrCon wrote:
Doesn't the "Steven syndrome" happens to 100% of the men after they have sex for the first time ?
I mean my first girl wasn't a bitch like the one in Steven story, but had she been one I'm pretty sure that I would have been a Steven, it would've take some time for me to break up. You need some life experience to not be a Steven I think.
To a certain extent yes, but some people don't recover, so to speak.
On June 15 2011 09:41 MaestroSC wrote:
(dumped the first one to win a bet [ bet was with a friend that i could get girl #2... i won the bet =D but lost the first girl i truely loved =( ].... got to keep the 2nd girl tho... for 6-7 years until i decided that her family was too fucking crazy and i was only with her cause i missed girl #1)
You're crazy =P
On June 15 2011 09:45 obesechicken13 wrote:
Really, I was under the impression he meant sex. *shrugs*
That's the case!
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On June 15 2011 09:45 obesechicken13 wrote:Did anyone else think "Oh my god! I'm Steven!" When they first started reading this blog? Show nested quote +On June 15 2011 09:41 MaestroSC wrote:On June 15 2011 09:31 Maliris wrote:
What the hell is "candy"... you mean sex? i think he means literal candy... like sweet tarts. .____. Really, I was under the impression he meant sex. *shrugs*
Well I started thinking I used to be a Steven. Its a shitty situation to be in, because like the OP said you don't want to be alone but at the same time you know youre being treated like shit. After a while (about two years...) I decided it just wasnt worth being miserable and just broke up with her. Now I'm with a girl, for almost two years again, who not only encourages me to play more games but actually cooks for me while I do it. Its really nice to break free of the "Steven Syndrome" and find somebody who actually deserves to be with you, but I honestly feel like most people need to hit rock bottom before that process can start.
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I've always hated the very idea of Steven syndrome. I might not be the luckiest guy with the ladies but no girl is worth trading your self respect for. Okay, except for maybe platinum blonde girl at work. I'd trade my self respect for her, but I only meet a girl that beautiful once a year at most. Yikes!
Any girl that tries to change you in negative ways that you don't want to isn't worth keeping around. If she tries to take away the things that make you happy, what will you be left with when she's gone? Screw that. There's plenty of other fish in the sea.
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I know someone who decided to move to Memphis from the Midwest, chasing after a girl. He has known her for less than a month, and he already said "I think I'm going to marry this girl." Classic case of this Steven Syndrome.
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Eh, at least I'm not a spider
+ Show Spoiler +
I think I tend to change even without a girl asking me to, :d
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The things we do for love.
But I don't think they're giving up their identities. Maybe they're still searching for their identity.
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This thread reminds me of the movie "The Baxter", not the same situation but I like the name you've attributed to the behaviour.
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Happens' to' everyone' at' least' once.
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Doesn't the "Steven syndrome" happens to 100% of the men after they have sex for the first time ? I mean my first girl wasn't a bitch like the one in Steven story, but had she been one I'm pretty sure that I would have been a Steven, it would've take some time for me to break up. You need some life experience to not be a Steven I think.
Funnily enough, one of the side effects of being a super nice guy is that though I don't get much 'candy' ( ) that little I do get is generally relaxed without much expectation.The girls I know are all awesome, chill and smart. I think this syndrome you're talking about is symptomatic not of genuinely nice guys, but of guys who are kind of desperate, and notnice enough to be able to keep themselves independent.
since I've always been able to make my decisions objectively and shrug off peer pressure or the feminine version of that, I've never had a problem. Girls who want to use me don't get anywhere, or at least they only get what I'm happy to give them, and that means I can maintain relationships along with the rest of my life fairly comfortably.
So I don't think every guy is bound to fall into a servile heap the first time a girl rubs up against him. in a sense it is those most inclined to try and manipulate the situation who are most vulnerable to being manipulated themselves.
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Well time to reread half of it because when you said "Candy" I thought you were talking about actual sugary chocolate treats.
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On June 15 2011 12:01 Fauxseude wrote:
Well time to reread half of it because when you said "Candy" I thought you were talking about actual sugary chocolate treats.
lol =(
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On June 15 2011 11:57 Thereisnosaurus wrote:Show nested quote +Doesn't the "Steven syndrome" happens to 100% of the men after they have sex for the first time ? I mean my first girl wasn't a bitch like the one in Steven story, but had she been one I'm pretty sure that I would have been a Steven, it would've take some time for me to break up. You need some life experience to not be a Steven I think. Funnily enough, one of the side effects of being a super nice guy is that though I don't get much 'candy' ( ) that little I do get is generally relaxed without much expectation.The girls I know are all awesome, chill and smart. I think this syndrome you're talking about is symptomatic not of genuinely nice guys, but of guys who are kind of desperate, and notnice enough to be able to keep themselves independent. since I've always been able to make my decisions objectively and shrug off peer pressure or the feminine version of that, I've never had a problem. Girls who want to use me don't get anywhere, or at least they only get what I'm happy to give them, and that means I can maintain relationships along with the rest of my life fairly comfortably. So I don't think every guy is bound to fall into a servile heap the first time a girl rubs up against him. in a sense it is those most inclined to try and manipulate the situation who are most vulnerable to being manipulated themselves.
You couldve saved me some time by posting "I dont have Steven Syndrome because I'm awesome and everybody who does is desperate, weak, not nice, and easily manipulated". Good post.
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I almost got pulled into this syndrome like two years ago. I ended up not talking to the girl who gave me "candy". BROS BEFO HOEZ 4 LYFE.
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On June 15 2011 14:05 Impulsa wrote:
I almost got pulled into this syndrome like two years ago. I ended up not talking to the girl who gave me "candy". BROS BEFO HOEZ 4 LYFE.
Neva forget.
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I've only ever hear of extacy use the synonym 'candy', so the women referred to within the OP came off as a little worse then expected.
Men will always do stupid shit for women, regardless the cause. But if any friend of mine abandons all their friends for some random sleeping material, they truly deserve all they get. It's all part of the learning process that is dating. Deal, and accept.
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On June 15 2011 11:57 Thereisnosaurus wrote:Funnily enough, one of the side effects of being a super nice guy is that though I don't get much 'candy' ( ) that little I do get is generally relaxed without much expectation.The girls I know are all awesome, chill and smart. I think this syndrome you're talking about is symptomatic not of genuinely nice guys, but of guys who are kind of desperate, and notnice enough to be able to keep themselves independent. since I've always been able to make my decisions objectively and shrug off peer pressure or the feminine version of that, I've never had a problem. Girls who want to use me don't get anywhere, or at least they only get what I'm happy to give them, and that means I can maintain relationships along with the rest of my life fairly comfortably. So I don't think every guy is bound to fall into a servile heap the first time a girl rubs up against him. in a sense it is those most inclined to try and manipulate the situation who are most vulnerable to being manipulated themselves.
Sounds like a Steven in denial to me. (j/k)
Me, I married my first girl and been happy ever since. When I think about it, I pretty much switched over to her friends and made them mine. I keep some of the old friends but most of them got cut. I guess I'm just lucky my girl isn't a crazy one and is into gaming so I got to "keep" my hobby. I also think all guys can relate to Steven in some way.
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Everyone changes and becomes a slave to actual love. The only thing you can do is try and find a girl that you actually want to change for and that will not want changes you wouldn't make if not in love.
Once hooked I found that I'm not myself anymore and would do almost anything I'm asked. That's also why I've avoided any kind of a relationship since I was 21 or 22 (7 years). I just didn't like how malleable I was while in love and how easy it was for them to hurt me.
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I know more women who have become like this than guys including my first gf, It happens a lot when you are in your teens/ early 20s when you begin to realize the type of person you really want. Just because your friend bitched out for a bit doesn't mean he deserves no respect but that is your decision of course.
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On June 15 2011 11:22 jcroisdale wrote:
Happens' to' everyone' at' least' once.
Whats going on here? All these quotation marks...
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?
Oddly enough, I was thinking about 'Steven Syndrome' today. I just didn't have a label for it. I guess I dont know for sure, but if I met that type of girl, I think I'd tell that bitch to gtfo. I really hope so, at least. ;/
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On June 15 2011 17:34 dakalro wrote:
Everyone changes and becomes a slave to actual love. The only thing you can do is try and find a girl that you actually want to change for and that will not want changes you wouldn't make if not in love.
That's really really bad advice. If you give up things you love for a woman, you'll never be happy in your life. The first few months will be OK, but after that, when the regularity of everyday life settles into your relationship, you will get really unhappy about the things you gave up and what you turned them in for.
A women shouldn't be together with you in spite of what you do and love, but because of it. If your partner ever wants to change anything significant about things that you do or about your personality(unless it's obviously a bad thing that you had hidden from them a long time, i.e. addiction to heavy drugs or some shit like that), there's already something inherently wrong in the relationship and you should consider breaking it off right then and there.
Of course this doesn't include simple things like sitting down while peeing. If your girlfriend wishes so hard to go out with you to some fancy place, there's nothing wrong in making her wish come true and going to that fancy place.
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On June 15 2011 18:17 heishe wrote:Show nested quote +On June 15 2011 17:34 dakalro wrote:
Everyone changes and becomes a slave to actual love. The only thing you can do is try and find a girl that you actually want to change for and that will not want changes you wouldn't make if not in love.
That's really really bad advice. If you give up things you love for a woman, you'll never be happy in your life. The first few months will be OK, but after that, when the regularity of everyday life settles into your relationship, you will get really unhappy about the things you gave up and what you turned them in for. A women shouldn't be together with you in spite of what you do and love, but because of it. If your partner ever wants to change anything significant about things that you do or about your personality(unless it's obviously a bad thing that you had hidden from them a long time, i.e. addiction to heavy drugs or some shit like that), there's already something inherently wrong in the relationship and you should consider breaking it off right then and there. Of course this doesn't include simple things like sitting down while peeing. If your girlfriend wishes so hard to go out with you to some fancy place, there's nothing wrong in making her wish come true and going to that fancy place.
You do realize you will change when you love someone, without you even noticing it, without her even asking and you will be oh so happy for a few years. The whole point is to get to know the woman before you commit your heart and figure out what her likes/dislikes are - compatibility.
I never said change everything or even change anything important, I just said change. If you love her you will be trained without even noticing it and will be a happy puppy for quite some time.
You consider things like sitting down while peeing simple? )) I know a guy that would rather pee on his knees than sit, he's just extremely uncomfortable with it, tell him changing is simple.
I don't know about feeling miserable. I've seen what I would consider really strong men turn to lambs when in love and being so very very happy, just seems that it's a very powerful drug and I avoid it like the plague, especially after my own experiences. I've also seen that this infatuation only lasts a couple of years or so and that's when you start to wake up and figure out if you are ok with your new self or not.
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I think the post above me has said it best. Do you really expect to hang around with your group of friends for the rest of your life looking at girls as evil bitches who come to steal you away from the nest. People fall in love, and everyone's love is different. If your friend is really happy, knows what is going on, I would be happy for him as well. Nothings stopping you from picking up the phone and still talking to him, or, in this robot designed and run matrix of ours we call 2011, text him.
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Ironically I was talking to my cousin about my ex the other day and he gave me the advice "bitches ain't shit" Now I know that's far too generalized but in situations like this I feel it is appropriate to keep in mind. lol Poor Steven.
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Steven Syndrome is more like loosing the constant tug of war between partners.
Everyone wants to do something differently from their partner at some time.
Doing what a certain person wants is giving ground in the tug of war.
In a good relationship neither partner is tugging very hard.
And both partners consent ground often.
In the case of Jessica versus Steven. Its more like Jessica is running backwards and Steven tied his side of the rope around his neck so he could run after her faster.
Maybe this trend is retribution for the thousands of years we didn't even give women an end of the rope.
But its very unfortunate and a relationship like this will never make someone truly happy.
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On June 15 2011 11:57 Thereisnosaurus wrote:Show nested quote +Doesn't the "Steven syndrome" happens to 100% of the men after they have sex for the first time ? I mean my first girl wasn't a bitch like the one in Steven story, but had she been one I'm pretty sure that I would have been a Steven, it would've take some time for me to break up. You need some life experience to not be a Steven I think. Funnily enough, one of the side effects of being a super nice guy is that though I don't get much 'candy' ( ) that little I do get is generally relaxed without much expectation.The girls I know are all awesome, chill and smart. I think this syndrome you're talking about is symptomatic not of genuinely nice guys, but of guys who are kind of desperate, and notnice enough to be able to keep themselves independent. since I've always been able to make my decisions objectively and shrug off peer pressure or the feminine version of that, I've never had a problem. Girls who want to use me don't get anywhere, or at least they only get what I'm happy to give them, and that means I can maintain relationships along with the rest of my life fairly comfortably. So I don't think every guy is bound to fall into a servile heap the first time a girl rubs up against him. in a sense it is those most inclined to try and manipulate the situation who are most vulnerable to being manipulated themselves.
That's such a cop out. Being a nice guy doesn't mean you can't get lots of sex, you just have to execute it right man. I'm a nice guy and I've never had any problems, though there is a difference between a nice guy and a complete pussy too. Fortunately now I have found the girl I plan to marry so no more adventurous days of playing the field!
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On June 15 2011 21:25 dakalro wrote:Show nested quote +On June 15 2011 18:17 heishe wrote:On June 15 2011 17:34 dakalro wrote:
Everyone changes and becomes a slave to actual love. The only thing you can do is try and find a girl that you actually want to change for and that will not want changes you wouldn't make if not in love.
That's really really bad advice. If you give up things you love for a woman, you'll never be happy in your life. The first few months will be OK, but after that, when the regularity of everyday life settles into your relationship, you will get really unhappy about the things you gave up and what you turned them in for. A women shouldn't be together with you in spite of what you do and love, but because of it. If your partner ever wants to change anything significant about things that you do or about your personality(unless it's obviously a bad thing that you had hidden from them a long time, i.e. addiction to heavy drugs or some shit like that), there's already something inherently wrong in the relationship and you should consider breaking it off right then and there. Of course this doesn't include simple things like sitting down while peeing. If your girlfriend wishes so hard to go out with you to some fancy place, there's nothing wrong in making her wish come true and going to that fancy place. You do realize you will change when you love someone, without you even noticing it, without her even asking and you will be oh so happy for a few years. The whole point is to get to know the woman before you commit your heart and figure out what her likes/dislikes are - compatibility. I never said change everything or even change anything important, I just said change. If you love her you will be trained without even noticing it and will be a happy puppy for quite some time. You consider things like sitting down while peeing simple? )) I know a guy that would rather pee on his knees than sit, he's just extremely uncomfortable with it, tell him changing is simple. I don't know about feeling miserable. I've seen what I would consider really strong men turn to lambs when in love and being so very very happy, just seems that it's a very powerful drug and I avoid it like the plague, especially after my own experiences. I've also seen that this infatuation only lasts a couple of years or so and that's when you start to wake up and figure out if you are ok with your new self or not.
Can you make some concrete examples of things that people automatically change when they're in love with someone? Because I can't think of anything, and as far as I'm aware I've always been the same, with and without a girlfriend.
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From the sound of the OP, Steven has no self-respect and Jason settles for less.
It's ok to pass up an opportunity if it would be a bad idea. I don't exactly have women beating down my door (I wish!), but in the last year and a half I passed on one of my best friends (she wasn't dealing with a lot of harsh emotional problems that NEEDED attention) and another person who lives about 4 hours away (she essentially wanted me to "get in line" for if and when her terrible relationship ended). I don't care that I don't date often - going for either of those two would have been a terrible idea.
I get what you're saying about this "Steven Syndrome" though. I fell for it in high school. The worst part was I never actually dated the girl I sold my soul to (worse - we became best friends!). Those two and a half years I spent fixated on her could have been spent on something a LOT more productive. On the other hand, without the experience I wouldn't have part of the self-respect I have now. Yeah, it's sad when we see friends sell their soul like Steven, but some things are better learned the hard way...
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I know exactly the kind of people you are talking about OP. It's frustrating to see friends become distant like that, no matter what you try to do to wake them up to reality. Those are the type of people who need to learn game  Not necessarily for ONS and simple stuff but just for self confidence and inner game
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On June 15 2011 21:29 LonelyIslands wrote:
I think the post above me has said it best. Do you really expect to hang around with your group of friends for the rest of your life looking at girls as evil bitches who come to steal you away from the nest. People fall in love, and everyone's love is different. If your friend is really happy, knows what is going on, I would be happy for him as well. Nothings stopping you from picking up the phone and still talking to him, or, in this robot designed and run matrix of ours we call 2011, text him.
I'm not misogynistic in the slightest... there are evil bitches though. Also, there are plenty of good reasons to break off from a group of friends, so I don't expect all of us to stick together. This guy moved away - now he's repairing fighter jet 500 miles away. I was talking about my high school group of friends and I hardly see any of them at this point actually, but it's fine.
And picking up the phone to talk to Steven would just be sad...
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I don't know, I thought most nerds simply thought of the girls (as in getting into serious relationship with them) as pure trouble like I did. Way inferior benefit:loss ratio. And my asian prejudice against non-virgins actually serves as excellent protection against such "syndrome", I guess.
Not that I would ever be able to pick up a girl anyways xD
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My best friend got into one of these relationships for a few years after I moved away, and it fucking broke him.
Even after it ended and I came back, he still is unable to trust women and maintain a healthy relationship.
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I know two people like this, ugh...
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On June 16 2011 00:52 Hesmyrr wrote:
I don't know, I thought most nerds simply thought of the girls (as in getting into serious relationship with them) as pure trouble like I did. Way inferior benefit:loss ratio. And my asian prejudice against non-virgins actually serves as excellent protection against such "syndrome", I guess.
Not that I would ever be able to pick up a girl anyways xD
Well I can tell you that there's a very good benefit:loss ratio if you find a good one - but it looks like they might be rare.
You have to make sure she's serious... My gf studied architecture, was top of her class and just got a dam' good job - she got offers from companies all over the country. If a girl works a full-time job at wal-mart or she's "studying" to become a hairdresser or an esthetician, there's a good chance she's shallow and won't be worth it. I find that very few people are capable of challenging me intellectually or handling abstract conversations, so it's a good thing that she can.
PS: I don't mean all hairdressers and estheticians or even walmart employees are shallow or bad gf's/bf's, but I assume it's rare for one of them to be as interesting as someone who cared enough to get a real education.
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Its the fluoride in tap water and industrial estrogen in food packaging. It affects neurochemistry making men more feminine. No joke.
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I wish so many boys wouldn't jump to the conclusion that a lot of girls are evil because they act in a manipulative and assertive manner. Most people in the ages 20-30 haven't matured to such a level that they can truly mind the needs and values of others if those others do not demand it. It requires much of a person to be so thoughtful. That doesn't mean that people are bad, but if you enter into a relationship where you feel that you're not in a position to stand up for yourself, it will likely lead to you feeling mistreated. Any person can fall into this trap. You feel that you simply act "as always" or that it's fair behaviour due to whatever self-justifications you develop. If no one challenges you, you are non the wiser.
A few generations back, men in general would treat women horribly. As long as long as your partner or society doesn't challenge it, being abusive, condescending, dominating can seem completely natural. If you always hit your wife and she never complained, you might actually feel indignant when the woman chooses to speak up. If she just continues servitude without making any demands, you will likely come to expect it rather than appeciate it. These men weren't bad, but a certain situation triggered their behaviour.
In this sense, I think there is certainly a grain of truth to the whole "why girls don't like nice guys" rhetoric that has been spouted all over the internet for a while. Someone who is unsure of herself and is trying to break the confines of a somewhat oppressive gender role will loathe you for unquestioningly accepting anything they do. Because you don't take them seriously. And thus, it develops into more of a abusive situation than a relationship.
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On June 16 2011 02:08 xarthaz wrote:
Its the fluoride in tap water and industrial estrogen in food packaging. It affects neurochemistry making men more feminine. No joke.
Not convinced... =P
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i'll rub one out in defiance of the steven syndrome
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i'm not sure how i feel about this thread. what do you call a woman who has given up everything for a guy. and this scenario occurs more often, everywhere around the world, than a guy who gets whipped by a girl.
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On June 16 2011 06:01 SlayerSBriefS wrote:
i'm not sure how i feel about this thread. what do you call a woman who has given up everything for a guy. and this scenario occurs more often, everywhere around the world, than a guy who gets whipped by a girl.
I don't know that it occurs more often, like I said in a spoiler at the bottom of my OP, I have a friend (girl) who had that problem and just recently broke up and now she's happier.
I'm fine calling it Steven Syndrome too =P
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I don't want to say I lost a friend (well just maybe). But yeah he clearly has the Steven Syndrome... BRANDON WHY!!!! WHY DO YOU LET HER CONTROL U AS SO!!
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This happened to one of my friends with skateboarding as well. and a few with gaming. I is s a very sad thing.
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On June 16 2011 06:01 SlayerSBriefS wrote:
i'm not sure how i feel about this thread. what do you call a woman who has given up everything for a guy. and this scenario occurs more often, everywhere around the world, than a guy who gets whipped by a girl.
I'm curious about what you mean here. Are you referring to societies where men are still bread-winners and therefore more often are domestic wifes? If so, it's hardly comparable. In such societies, this is the norm rather than a change that happens due to any relationship as such. And in societies where this isn't the norm, those who become housewifes will often desire the lifestyle, which means they aren't really giving up anything against their own desires.
What I wonder is whether many men will feel the need to play such a big role in the lives of their counter-parts that they would ask them to ditch their friends and quit their hobbies. If this is what you're referring to, I would like to hear what examples and experiences you have with this. I doubt it would be very common, but then again, my knowledge is quite limited.
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On June 16 2011 02:08 xarthaz wrote:
Its the fluoride in tap water and industrial estrogen in food packaging. It affects neurochemistry making men more feminine. No joke.
Actually I'm pretty sure it's the space station NWO built that sends emasculating radiation all over the world. If anyone tells you otherwise, he's a zionist trying to brainwash you. Not that it affects me, I got a 3 layer tinfoil hat on all the time.
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Nice story bro. But I first thougth the Steven syndrome was like a trojan horse initiated by a dude who wants to have sex with a girl. He introduces the girl to a wimpy weakling and favors and facilitates them getting together just so he can nail her beside his back, as he is not afraid to do so. Idn why I got that impression from the first lines of this blog. I thought Steven would be a friend of yours who could easily be used in this regard. I'm glad you are not that macabre. I get the Steven syndrome now and it's totally viable to become a psychological term if you ask me
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On June 15 2011 09:36 MrCon wrote:
Doesn't the "Steven syndrome" happens to 100% of the men after they have sex for the first time ? Nope, thankfully not.
My girlfriend (wife soon, I hope - we are together for 14 years and it's about time I pop the question) is the sister of my best friend way back from school. The three of us used to play endless nights of Lords of the Realm together. After that we also played Diablo 2 extensively, though I must admit that she is more of an adventure person (Monkey Island, Days of the Tentacle, Fallout), while I'm more of a Civilization player.
Anyways, we are both looking forward to Diablo 3, even though she is almost finished with her PhD in Biology and I'm a computer scientist.
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lol - This is fantastic. My friends have a term for this too:
"You've CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGED."
Your friendships might be more tangible than your relationships, but they will always out-last your relationships too. Making fundamental changes to who you are for a woman is never worth it (unless those changes are generally positive) but following a woman around like a puppy dog is unnecessary. A better one will always come along eventually. Don't hang on to those that bring you down.
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I wonder if Destiny is the Steven in this story... or if he ever went through the "Steven Syndrome".... hmm...
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Let him read this blog, maybe then he'll realize how stupid he was. It's hard to see when you're in the middle of it, anything the girl says to you is sacred even though it's utter bullshit. I know, I had the syndrome myself. In my case all it took was another girl that actually had the syndrome for me. We got rid of both of them and we're happy now. It's hard to help him if he's more of an online friend, but reading the blog can't be bad for him. Maybe then he'll see ~ the problem with this syndrome is that you feel like the girl is the only one who will ever give you what you want, and given this, it's actually quite true because no girl desires a loser (besides the biaaches that want to use them). Once you realize this, there's a world of options for you and you can see her for what she is, just another you don't want to have anything to do with.
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On June 16 2011 19:07 FourFace wrote:
Nice story bro. But I first thougth the Steven syndrome was like a trojan horse initiated by a dude who wants to have sex with a girl. He introduces the girl to a wimpy weakling and favors and facilitates them getting together just so he can nail her beside his back, as he is not afraid to do so. Idn why I got that impression from the first lines of this blog. I thought Steven would be a friend of yours who could easily be used in this regard. I'm glad you are not that macabre. I get the Steven syndrome now and it's totally viable to become a psychological term if you ask me
lol, well I guess Steven kind of was a Trojan horse to some other guys
On June 16 2011 22:41 SEA_GenesiS wrote:
I wonder if Destiny is the Steven in this story... or if he ever went through the "Steven Syndrome".... hmm...
Steven Bonnell is way too much of a baller for that. I don't know if you've heard the story about the MLG groupie girl / SC2 cam whore who sleeps around. She was hanging out with Root guys and was talking to him, didn't stick around when he learned who she was.
I mean he plays SC2 like crazy too, so there's no way he lives with a controlling freak... he couldn't. The guy stands for what he believes.
On June 16 2011 22:56 Stratos wrote:
Let him read this blog, maybe then he'll realize how stupid he was. It's hard to see when you're in the middle of it, anything the girl says to you is sacred even though it's utter bullshit. I know, I had the syndrome myself. In my case all it took was another girl that actually had the syndrome for me. We got rid of both of them and we're happy now. It's hard to help him if he's more of an online friend, but reading the blog can't be bad for him. Maybe then he'll see ~ the problem with this syndrome is that you feel like the girl is the only one who will ever give you what you want, and given this, it's actually quite true because no girl desires a loser (besides the biaaches that want to use them). Once you realize this, there's a world of options for you and you can see her for what she is, just another you don't want to have anything to do with.
I've told him about it, but you know how my word may not mean much to some guy who's life now revolves around a girl who's obviously got much more to give to him than, well, a dude on the Internet. He has to make a shitload of compromises and he's willing to do so - and I can't be super direct to him without being insulting.
This thread is pretty harsh on his gf too, so I don't know if he would take it too well. TBH I've given up and I think it's the right thing to do... If she completely ruins him, then I guess it's too bad. On the other hand, maybe he'll break it off eventually, but really it looks like one of these bad couples that stick together for the wrong reasons.
As for the Steven, well he was another person. We were a lot of guys trying to tell him "bros before hoes" and he was just completely under her spell or whatever. Jason's not as bad because he didn't turn into a zombie (not completely) -- yet.
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5/5 DJ <3
See you on battlenet tonight homie
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On June 17 2011 01:55 Keldory wrote:
5/5 DJ <3
See you on battlenet tonight homie
Hey Dory, good to see you post on TL =)
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My name's Stephen O.O. However, something like this hasn't happened to me. It's really easy to get blinded by "love" to where you don't realize what's really happening. I just hope there aren't any other Stevens/Stephens out there tarnishing our good name.
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On June 17 2011 03:12 Darathor wrote:
My name's Stephen O.O. However, something like this hasn't happened to me. It's really easy to get blinded by "love" to where you don't realize what's really happening. I just hope there aren't any other Stevens/Stephens out there tarnishing our good name.
Well there's always this asshole
![[image loading]](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_uxC-2bPp0gs/TJyyksvEdiI/AAAAAAAAC5I/_Q15fq0uiQg/s1600/9_stephen_harper_canada_prime_minister.jpg)
Different kind of tarnishing though.
Edit: Since TL is international: that's Stephen Harper, prime minister of Canada.
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On June 16 2011 08:48 Ulfsark wrote:
This happened to one of my friends with skateboarding as well. and a few with gaming. I is s a very sad thing.
Damn skateboards... we lose more friends that way.
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damn girls and their candy
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Never take candy with strangers, it probably has herpies.
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In my opinion, the root of the issue here really isn't the girl, it's the guy, who appears to be deriving his sense of self-worth and/or feeling of excitement from being with a girl. It could be anything, and it happened to be a girl in this case - so long as your sense of affirmation comes primarily from the external, you're bound to be disappointed.
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On June 17 2011 09:07 Funnytoss wrote:
In my opinion, the root of the issue here really isn't the girl, it's the guy, who appears to be deriving his sense of self-worth and/or feeling of excitement from being with a girl. It could be anything, and it happened to be a girl in this case - so long as your sense of affirmation comes primarily from the external, you're bound to be disappointed.
Of course whoever gets caught in the bad relationship is the root of the problem, but at the same time, the other person isn't that great
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On June 15 2011 11:57 Thereisnosaurus wrote:Show nested quote +Doesn't the "Steven syndrome" happens to 100% of the men after they have sex for the first time ? I mean my first girl wasn't a bitch like the one in Steven story, but had she been one I'm pretty sure that I would have been a Steven, it would've take some time for me to break up. You need some life experience to not be a Steven I think. Funnily enough, one of the side effects of being a super nice guy is that though I don't get much 'candy' ( ) that little I do get is generally relaxed without much expectation.The girls I know are all awesome, chill and smart. I think this syndrome you're talking about is symptomatic not of genuinely nice guys, but of guys who are kind of desperate, and notnice enough to be able to keep themselves independent. since I've always been able to make my decisions objectively and shrug off peer pressure or the feminine version of that, I've never had a problem. Girls who want to use me don't get anywhere, or at least they only get what I'm happy to give them, and that means I can maintain relationships along with the rest of my life fairly comfortably. So I don't think every guy is bound to fall into a servile heap the first time a girl rubs up against him. in a sense it is those most inclined to try and manipulate the situation who are most vulnerable to being manipulated themselves.
I'm glad you wrote this, I was going to write the exact same thing but didn't know how to phrase it. Cheers 
I think Steven Syndrome (awesome name, going to use it) affects mostly guys with little to no experience and gets their first girlfriend kinda "late". I know four guys that got their first girlfriends when they were 19-20, it's been like 2 years now and they are still with their first girlfriends even though they get treated badly by them. Only one of them have managed to break free.
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One of my friends has something that reminds me of this, but in this case she rejected him but he has done what is described i.e. changed everything about himself (sense of humor, music taste, hobbies) to try and get with her.
Its so bad to watch because he has isolated himself from the group in order to try and get with her and she constantly uses excuses to try and deter him but he just wont listen
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On June 20 2011 00:45 henbobble wrote:One of my friends has something that reminds me of this, but in this case she rejected him but he has done what is described i.e. changed everything about himself (sense of humor, music taste, hobbies) to try and get with her. Its so bad to watch because he has isolated himself from the group in order to try and get with her and she constantly uses excuses to try and deter him but he just wont listen
lol, he changed his music tastes... that's something O_O
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Ye :/ he used to be into metal etc but now he listens to Taylor Swift to try and impress her o.O
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On June 21 2011 01:14 henbobble wrote:
Ye :/ he used to be into metal etc but now he listens to Taylor Swift to try and impress her o.O
How's that even possible
I would die if I listened to that garbage...
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EPT
