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Man theres so much shit i could say in this topic to both the OP and half the idiots in this thread, but I'll give the OP the simplest answer possible: just move the fuck out.
I moved out at the start of last month and so far, I'm MUCH happier living by myself / with housemates. Yeah, my relationship with my parents isn't really that much better, I'm just avoiding the problem but atleast I'm living my life the way i fucking want. OP, you seem like you have a shitty relationship with your family yet you expect to be treated like a king. Youre fucking 21.
I'm turning 18 in 11 days and I dont live with my parents because I've got half a rat's brain to know what's better for them and for me. Frankly, I'm surprised your dad didn't kick you out or you didn't just leave.
User was warned for this post
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Russian Federation3631 Posts
There is never a reason to hit your kid, and this isn't the first time he has been violent to exude his dominance. He has threatened to hit me hundreds of times and he hit my mother several times, another thing you never have the right to do, regardless of what they are doing. In retrospect (as a indepent-ish adult) I appreciate the fact that my parents were trying to act like parents, not like friends. As that is the way it should be.
Frankly, without accepting the fact that you are at fault for what you do, you will likely remain bitter and unaccomplished.
He also threatened to take away my computer, which is pretty funny to me. I starkly remember getting grounded from the computer for a month in my childhood (I still remember why).
So are my parents guilty of some horrible child abuse?
Still hurt and it was done in a fit of rage from my father. But in what universe is it acceptable to you as a parent to hit your child regardless of what they have done? It is never acceptable to hit anyone, full stop. In general, yes.
In most cases (read: here), its an extreme response to something you did wrong.
It's who I am, and unfortunately it's parental fail on his part because he didn't teach me differently. Holy fucking shit.
Really?
No.
Just...no.
I'm really not sure whether to go with this if you honestly believe this.
His favorite thing to say in order to mock my hobby is "Video gaming is time wasted awaiting death." There is a great amount of truth in that. Maybe your grades aren't completely a function of your fucked up life situation, and perhaps due to time management decisions?
Great parenting, telling me how I'm wasting my life away. That's what a good parent does, unless you think its better for him to wait until you've fucked your life up over an irrational dream?
Does he not realize just how much you can do in the gaming community, or in the video game industry? And I could hit the lottery, or get into the NBA...have you thought about a backup plan in case you don't "make it"?
I have maybe 10-15 knives and forks in pizza cartons right now as I type this, and he came storming down today screaming there were no knives and forks left, where are they? Am I supposed to understand that you have the cutlery with you as you're typing this, and yet you'd rather write an internet blog instead of actually cleaning up?
Certain words come to mind, none charitable.
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get a damn job or get into school. when you're a 21 year old living with parents, not even going to school, you're supposed to be on supremely good behavior (the cost of free rent + food)
OP HWAITING!
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On March 15 2011 10:37 Gatsbi wrote:Show nested quote +On March 15 2011 09:06 Romantic wrote: I see we have a combination of a guy who won't pick up 15 plates in his room and people who think beating kids is acceptable.
Hmm... not surprised at how this turned out. I'd hardly call it beating. "owwww my dad hit me in the THIGH" LOL the fucking thigh, get over it. "owww it hurts when I walk" Was I specifically referring to the OP? No.
People posted before me saying hitting kids in general was fine. Way to get to excited all three of you who quoted me and assumed I was referring to the OP.
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This blog is basically 7 pages of people insulting the OP.
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On March 15 2011 18:20 Loanshark wrote: This blog is basically 7 pages of people insulting the OP.
And 99% of it was totally deserved.
I leave out the 1% incase someone said something I didn't quite catch.
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i abstained from posting here previously, but i can't believe the op, this smells too hard of something a dad would write to show his deadbeat kid the community reactions to his wastefulness. maybe ?
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You know, you'd be pretty surprised to hear stuff like that are pretty common among Filipino families. I've been beaten with stuff like pots, pans, belt buckles, even bamboo sticks. I grew up to be pretty close to my Dad though, and I learned to appreciate the stuff he did in the past.
It's extremely different in the American setting, so I can say little to help you out. Maybe I made you feel better by even a tiny bit?
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On March 15 2011 22:55 anatem wrote:i abstained from posting here previously, but i can't believe the op, this smells too hard of something a dad would write to show his deadbeat kid the community reactions to his wastefulness. maybe ?
Haha, i was thinking the same thing, this is just so hard to believe.
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Okay first off, I completely agree with your opinion on your dad hitting you. It it not acceptable and Im surprised by the liberal view on this matter here on TL. Maybe it’s a culture thing. That being said, you are ridiculously immature. If you are unhappy with your life, then do something about it. I made a list since you seem to lack creativity:
Short term solutions:
1. Talk with your father Tell him that he went to far when he hit you. He is probably feeling bad about it already and even if he is not, you have made it clear that you dont tolerate it. Then tell him that you are going to completely change your attitude and be more helpful in the future.
2. Completely change your attitude and be more helpful It isn’t your parents fault that you are lazy. If you are living in his house you should be able to follow simple rules such as not piling up knifes and forks in your room. If it is impossible for you to remember to bring knifes to the dishwasher I suggest that you eat in the kitchen. You could also start making dinner once a week, do your own laundry and help your brother with homework etc. This is not too much to ask and it will probably take some pressure off your dad and hopefully create a better relation with your family.
3. Stay away from home Why are you spending so much time in a house that drives you mad? Spend some time with friends, pick up other hobbies than SC2 or start working out. You will feel better if you do stuff and there will be less conflicts when you are not constantly around your family.
Long term solutions: The short term solutions are just ways of making your life bearable. Your long term goal is to get out of the house permanently. Do either of the two following things:
1. Go to university Figure out what you want to do in life. If your grades are OK, start studying in Uppsala or Lund. This will increase the distance from your family (assuming your family don’t actually live there) and it is easy to get apartments in these towns. If your grades are shitty, do Högskoleprovet. It shouldn’t be that hard to get a decent score when your father is a genius who almost qualifies for MENSA.
2. Get a job If you don’t want to study, you should get a job. Send your resume to Poolia etc. and take a shitty job in the meantime. If you havnt written a CV before, get someone to help you. Then move out. If you are living in Stockholm I suggest that you move in with a friend or get a girlfriend with an apartment (since the apartments in Stockholm are very expensive). If you don’t live in Stockholm you should have no problem getting a place of your own.
There you go – a complete guide on how to improve your life situation. You are welcome.
Edit: spelling
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Just go to school. Seriously, getting good grades in school is probably the easiest way to becoming successful in life dude. Get good grades in high school, and you can get a full ride to your state college.
And its not hard to balance videogames and study. I was addicted to sc2 last semester and I still was able to get a 4.0. Its just a matter of knowing when to stop playing for a day or two to study for a big test. Balance is key.
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if you can, move out. let your dad live his life the way he wants to and if that includes getting a woman pregnant, then so be it. he'll learn to respect you when you get a job, get a family, and provide for yourself.
also, he hit you once. if he keeps beating you, it may be a problem. however, just because he hit you once doesn't make him the worst parent in the world.
take a breather and get away from everything for a bit.
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Look man, I sympathize with you. However, you're 21, and still living at home. You admit you're lazy, but rather than dealing with it you blame your parents. this may be their fault initially, but it's not their fault you're still that way. I used to be lazy too, the only thing stopping you from getting out and doing shit is you. Stop being lazy, go back to school (which you shouldn't be blaming on anyone else either) or get a job. Hell, if you say that living there is what's preventing you from getting better, you should change your outlook. Use your desire to get out to motivate you to do well. He says videogames are a waste of time. While I obviously disagree with that, if you're playing while not going to school or having a job (don't know if you do), he's right. You should be getting your shit together rather than playing starcraft.
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Oh not the thigh, NOT THE THIGHH
Wow how spoiled are kids these days? You got slapped in the thigh for being a bum. Stop whining and being absorbed in the idea that you were severely wronged that your dad hit your thigh.
And also video games are a waste of time, a fun one, but still a waste of time. Yes there are progamers and gaming developers, but you're neither. What have you accomplished in the gaming industry? That's right you just played shitload of video games like Starcraft. Is it wrong for a father to want his son to do more then play excessive video games? You complain about bad parenting, but when it comes between your convenience, you blame your father for being a "bad parent"
You come complain about your dad who probably works his ass off to put food on your table and a roof over your head (you should get your own roof)
It's who I am, and unfortunately it's parental fail on his part because he didn't teach me differently. It's called self improvement, you maudlin self pitying little prick (I have no respect for those who calls their dad a pieces of shit openly for such petty reason). You are a lazy disappointment, and I feel sorry for your father for having such a self absorbed miserable son. You can't study enough to get into a university? People have gotten into much better schools from much worse environments. You're a failure, stop blaming others.
Am i seriously the only on TL who raged at OP reading this? p.s. Hey OP, I would kick your ass too if i were your father
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You need a dose of reality. Everything you've said speaks to the fact that you've lived a sheltered life and just don't get it. Yes, that's a failure on your father's part (in part, anyway). It doesn't matter. You need to fix your life.
What are you plans, sit around for the rest of your life and blame your parents for how they raised you? If you see the problem, fix it. Move on. We all have our crosses to bare, you aren't special. Honestly, given what some children live through, the fact that you're whining about your situation, which it sounds like is mostly your fault, is beyond pathetic.
Sorry to be harsh, but you need it.
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Guys I'm sure he stopped reading after like the second page or whatever, it wasn't the replies he was expecting LOL. This thread is pretty much done
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Jesus, you really need to stop with the self-pity. Plenty of people got hit in the head when they were kids, you're 21 and you got slapped on the thigh ...
Regardless of your parents' upbringing, it obviously isn't an excuse to sit on your ass and blame other people for who you are. Your parents are people just like you, you seem to realise you're not perfect, so why do you expect them to be?
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holy cow you literally need to get out of your parents basement and grow up
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