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thank god I got confirmation today.
There is never a time when a parent has the right to control their child. You have an obligation as a parent to tell them what is right and wrong by our standards and to raise your child so they abide by those standards and become upstanding citizens of tomorrow. Simple rules, easy to follow. Unfortunately some parents never seem to get that concept.
They want to know what they can get out of the child, as if their children are somehow their slaves except it's legal lolz to do as they are told and never to question.
When I read blogs or stories about other people who suffer true mental and/or physical abuse by their parents I always used to think I actually had it pretty good, even though I hated my father with a passion. At least until this morning I did, and now I actually have a good reason for it.
He hit me. He also threatened to take away my computer, which is pretty funny to me. He can hit me yet not realize that mental harassment simply doesn't mean anything anymore because now it's gone over to physical which draws the line for me.
It sounds more dramatical than it is, since he hit me in the thigh and not in the face. Still hurt and it was done in a fit of rage from my father. But in what universe is it acceptable to you as a parent to hit your child regardless of what they have done? It is never acceptable to hit anyone, full stop.
What did I do? I was being me. It's who I am, and unfortunately it's parental fail on his part because he didn't teach me differently. It's ingrained in my personality ever since I was a little kid. If you can't accept the child that you raised then I'm sorry for existing. I'm sorry for being a burden on your life. Do you want me to die?
He hit me for a number of reasons I believe.
1. I'm a disappointment in his eyes.
My dad thinks of himself as a genius and according to him he lost his virginity at the age of 13, out in the forest "we didn't even know what the fuck we were doing, really", and he hasn't seen me bring a woman home ever. I'm 21. He says that if he hadn't hesitated on one question and kept the answer he had originally put down, he would've been accepted into Mensa. It baffles me how someone with an IQ high enough to get accepted into Mensa can be so fucking stupid. I tried to go back to school this term to get the grades I needed to be eligible for university and I just couldn't fucking do it. Not by lack of ability, I just can't do it when I live here. I don't want to do anything living in this house, because it's miserable.
2. I'm wasting my life away.
He thinks video games are a waste of time, regardless of what you do. He has it in his eyes that all video games are one of a kind and that when a new one comes out everyone starts at square one. StarCraft1/BW -> StarCraft 2 is proof of the contrary, but he doesn't understand that. His favorite thing to say in order to mock my hobby is "Video gaming is time wasted awaiting death." Great parenting, telling me how I'm wasting my life away. Does he not realize just how much you can do in the gaming community, or in the video game industry? He has his fixed ideas of the world and old habits die hard, or never at all. He also thinks that because I can't wave a magic wand and get a job at Blizzard, that I have no future in this industry and my time is better spent elsewhere.
3. I'm lazy.
I have this annoying habit of mine that my parents unfortunately never taught me when I was a child which is proven by my new younger brother, age 7, who does exactly the same thing. When I now know better and I tell my father that little age 7 should pick up after himself like everyone else should, he uses the excuse that "You did that when you were 7 as well." Like that's supposed to make it right? So because you failed once, it's OK for you to fail again? Now when it comes to my room, I have a habit of leaving glass, cutlery and plates in my room because I just forget to bring it up with me when I leave my room. I have maybe 10-15 knives and forks in pizza cartons right now as I type this, and he came storming down today screaming there were no knives and forks left, where are they? Frantically looked around my room and saw the pizza cartons and lifted a couple, heard the scrambling of metal on metal and in a rage, he pounded my thigh.
4. He hates his life.
Ever since my parents split up, mostly because my parents are both horrible parents and completely fucking mental, my father's life has been gradually going down the toilet. My mother is fucking insane and feeds of off drama like a junkie feeds of his drug of choice. My father met someone from Thailand and they could not speak a single word to each other. They "fell in love" which I don't fucking understand how that happens, and she moved in with him after about a month of my parents splitting up. Mrs. Cunty cunt from Thailand having a sister who had been living in Sweden obviously realized she'd hit the jackpot and so as to not get deported by immigration because her visa runs out, she decides to "forget to take the pill" and my father being the mentally handicapped child that he is neglects the use of a wonderful invention that prevents pregnancy controlled by the male! the condom. So she gets pregnant and now his balls are firmly in a vice by this bitch from Thailand who thinks she's living the good life in Sweden. He's stuck with a child he never wanted to have, a cunt who never goes away or he'll lose his kid because the courts nearly always side with the mother.
She's also pretty abusive and gets pissed off for reasons unknown to anybody. Refuses to talk for weeks and moves out of the bedroom to sleep on the couch and walks around all grumpy until she gets over it, which is when I assume my father gets down on his knees and apologizes profusely for whatever it is he may or may not have done. This is the reason my father got convicted of domestic violence a couple of years ago. She was being a bitch as usual and thought he was cheating or whatever (which he probably was anyway) and came down and threatened him with a blunt scissor. So my dad hit her in the nose, it broke, and now all of a sudden he's the bad guy. Fucking bitches. On a more serious note, they made up (HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT HAPPEN?) and tried to make up some bullshit story in court that we were all supposed to follow in spite of court date being almost a full two years after the event. Like the judge didn't see through that little charade like it was water. He got convicted and had to pay fines and do community service.
Eventually, same thing happens again. They fight, she bolts, takes the kid. This time though he says to me, "I don't think she'll come back this time." Meaning, if she wanted to, he'd take her back.
She's back, and life is as miserable as it's always been for him.
I probably digressed a little towards the end, and I'm pretty much done anyway. I'm sitting waiting for my dad to realize he actually hit me and come down and apologize. An apology I know will never come, because he doesn't realize what he did was wrong.
  
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It sounds like your dad has a hard life and you're using the fact that he isn't perfect as a catch-all excuse for being a shitty person. You should probably try to get a job, or at the very least take your silverware down to the sink (that shit is gross). The fact that you're lazy and don't really accomplish anything isn't his fault anymore - you're 21 and you need to start taking responsibility for your own shortcomings.
Think of it this way - if you really hate it that much in your house, getting a job will give you both an excuse to be gone and a way to be gone permanently.
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Typical situation, you are making life harder for each other.
Solution 1: Move out
Solution 2: Grow up and learn to understand him
Hitting you might or might not have been ok, depending on the force used and how you behaved before it occured (i doubt you were nice and apologized for having all the knifes in your room, promising to not let that happen again).
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If you're 21 why don't you man the fuck up already and just leave home instead of complaining about it to some random people on the Internet?
From what I'm reading, everything that your dad thinks about you is true and you are a lazy fuck who is wasting his life but still thinks he's a tough guy.
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Wow that sounds like a pretty messed up domestic situation. I'm sorry to hear that 
Well you said you're 21 right? I think its time to stop using the "you've never taught me to do better" as an excuse for things. Be your own man and do what you want to do without excuses. I'm not by any means saying that your dad is an ideal parent or that he's right in handling the situation the way he is, but its pretty obvious that some blame falls on your shoulders as well. You're not a kid anymore dude you need to get your shit together - not for the sake of pleasing your father or anyone else - but so that you can live a happy and ordinary life, and perhaps remove yourself from the unhealthy situation that is your current household dynamic.
In sum: You sound very immature for 21 and you clearly need a reality check + to grow up. Yeah your dad is probably an asshole (to an extent), and your living arrangements are less than ideal... but ffs dude get your shit together and fix your own problems instead of whining and hoping they will magically go away.
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This sounds terrible man. It seems like both of you guys need to talk about everything through. If he won't listen to you then, well try your best to be independent and leave the house :/
If it makes you feel any better my dad hits me all the time, I'm just used to it. My stress level always skyrockets when I return home from college. I just have to mentally prepare myself for what's to come. But at least I don't have to see him everyday.
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Sounds a lot like a Jerry Springer show.
Being a parent doesn't automatically make you a bright person. He probably needs therapy and you need to let him destroy his own life by himself.
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Dude, you're 21 and complaining about your parents? Just move out if it's so bad at home.
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i was spanked as a child... made me a better person. i understand the need to blow off steam sometimes, but i hope you dont lose yourself in anger. take a step back from the situation and try to see it from his perspective.
your parents dont make you lazy, you do. how hard is it to move dishes to the kitchen? 15 seconds out of your day brah.
are you living there for free? do you go to school? maybe you are a freeloader currently. i suggest getting a job and moving out so you can live your own life.
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The only solution for you is to become a man and leave the house. I guess it will be rough (according to what you wrote I don't think you have much working experience) but you have to do it anyway in future and the sooner the better. If your parents are nuts, how about your grandparents? Could they borrow you some money to get on your feets?
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You're actually blaming your father for your own failures? You're basically comparing raising a child to teaching tricks to a dog. Sure it's the dog handlers' fault if the dog plain sucks, but you're an adult who can make your own decisions, aren't you?
It's only natural in a parent's mind to make the link between computer games / any hobby you spend alot of time on and fucked up high school grades; Ever thought of the fact that computer games actually did fuck up your high school grades? Did for me, and for several of my friends aswell.
Just because Starcraft or any other game is cool doesn't mean that an addiction to them is healthy, especially for a youngster who can't properly manage his own time.
As for your father, he sounds like he has a clinical depression or something.
Grow up
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Sounds like you're not the easiest kid to live with either. If I had a kid who constantly and after repeated requests not to kept tons of the cutlery left dirty in their room all the time, I'd probably lose my shit after a certain number of times. Small things aren't small things when they happen every single day.
You need to grow up and realise that yes, while your father may not be the most perfect human being, he provides an environment in which you CAN spend a large amount of time playing videogames, he provides an environment in which you are sheltered, fed, and taken care of. So he lost his temper and hit you one time. it wasn't a seriously injuring blow, and physically disciplining children was done all the time before and the world got on just fine..
Yes he should apologise for hitting you. Yes, you should also apologise for your total obvious disrespectful attitude towards him. Keeping dirty cutlery laying around in pizza boxes in your room? Thats just fucking disgusting and you should be fucking ashamed of that. No wonder you don't have any women around you.
As for your crap about him not realising what you can do in the videogame industry..
You are the one being a fucking idiot here. Videogames, the way you're playing them, are a hobby. He doesn't realise that they're just as valid a hobby as sports, reading, chess, music, or anything else. But YOU don't realise that they are a HOBBY!
You need other things in your life. Playing videogames does not get you anywhere in the videogaming world unless you are exceptional and able to compete professionally. Videogame developers, videogame company executives, tournament organisers like the managers of the TSL, these people do not spend their work hours playing videogames. They may well enjoy their job because its still related to videogames, but their time spent playing videogames doesn't automatically help them in that field.
And on the note of your father with his girl and the pill and the condoms. Its a pretty fucking common thing in a close relationship for the couple to stop using condoms and start relying on the pill. Almost any girl who has been in a steady relationship for more than a couple of years could sneak a child out of their partner simply by not taking the pill anymore. I know if my fiancee decided to stop I certainly wouldn't notice. Sex without a condom is so much better for both partners (particularly the girl) that its not even comparable. You cannot blame him for such a lapse, particularly if he had no reason to suspect her.
In summary, your father seems like a fairly decent guy, perhaps too quick to lose his temper, perhaps not. leaving cutlery discarded around your room would get pretty fucking annoying to anyone. He doesn't quite understand that videogaming is a legitimate hobby, but that is not a failing unique to him, a lot of the older generations feel this way (not all!), and there is nothing you can really do to change his mind about that.
You, on the other hand, even from reading YOUR SIDE OF THE STORY which I'm sure downplays the nature of living with you, makes you sound like a moody young adult, still stuck at home, unable to succeed at school for whatever reason, sitting in a disgusting messy room surrounded by dirty cutlery, old pizza boxes and who knows what else, thinking he can turn playing videogames into a career with no actual talent outside the actual playing of the games.
You sound more like an angsty "fuck tha parents and fuck tha system" teenager than what you are supposed to be...an adult.
I think I sympathize a lot more with your father here. And we haven't even heard his side of the story.
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Your dad sounds pretty cool.
User was banned for this post.
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Baa?21242 Posts
You're 21, your dad hit you in the thigh, and you take it as proof that your father is the worst person alive.
Jesus christ how spoiled were you growing up?
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like some of these other people said you gotta man up jesus, I used to get beat like shit when I was a kid but I don't think my parents were necessarily bad just trying to teach me right from wrong I guess. If you are 21, you are perfectly capable of moving out so yeah you are kind of being a lazy crybaby. Sorry to break it to you but video games are a waste of time for the majority of people and you should use more of your time and effort on other things. There is nothing wrong with playing sc once in a while but grow up man
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I just wanted to echo the sentiments of other people here. Don't use bad parenting as an excuse for being a bad person. You're 21 and from what I can gather you have no job, don't go to school and play video games? Even from your perspective your life sounds like you should get your shit together and stop blaming your parents for your failures, you're 21 ffs. The fact that you don't like the situation at home should only motivate you to become independent and move out.
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Osaka27131 Posts
I have maybe 10-15 knives and forks in pizza cartons right now as I type this, and he came storming down today screaming there were no knives and forks left, where are they? Frantically looked around my room and saw the pizza cartons and lifted a couple, heard the scrambling of metal on metal and in a rage, he pounded my thigh.
How many times has he asked you to take your dishes to the sink? How many times has he done it without hitting your thigh? How many times have you failed to heed his requests?
Maybe he thought the words weren't getting through.
He doesn't sound like a great guy, but until you take responsibility and act like an equal member of the household, you are hard to take seriously.
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There is a reason why "kids leave home at a certain age" aka "I can live on my own now". Don't try to be that one in a million who will enjoy the same old faces all your life.
The trick here is to learn and snap out of it. Just do something different. Don't go crazy, but try to enjoy life and try to find your own way.
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Move out and get a job.
Once you don't have to live with your parents you'll realize you like them a lot more.
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But in what universe is it acceptable to you as a parent to hit your child regardless of what they have done? It is never acceptable to hit anyone, full stop.
What universe is it acceptable to say anything like that? On a lighter note, besides the domestic violence with your mum, the charade in Thailand and losing virginity - I'd say his demands and expectations are pretty reasonable
and that is no way to talk to your Dad
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I hope posting this thread and seeing the overwhelmingly unsympathetic responses you get will wake you up to the fact that you need to do something with your life, stop blaming your father for YOUR failings, and realise that your father is simply a decent guy who has had a hard life to this point and is now having to live with you, who isn't making anything any easier.
There are two circumstances in which it is okay to still be living at home at age 21.
1) You're at university or otherwise financially unable to move out. Perhaps you're looking for work and can't find any because of a bad economy, or something like that. This is an okay reason.
2) You're mentally or physically disabled in some way and dependent on constant care.
Aside from those reasons, still living with your parents at 21 is a pretty sad thing, and your father is absolutely right to be disappointed by that. Couple that with you spending a lot of time on (what he sees as) useless videogaming and can you really condemn him for his frustration?
And he is right! videogaming is useless to improving your life. It is a hobby, nothing more. A rare few people are able to turn that hobby into something productive. Just like a rare few can turn skill at chess into something productive, and a rare few can turn skill at music into something productive. you, probably not.
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You seem to blame all of your shortcomings and bad qualities on your parents to free yourself from any responsibility of the terrible quality of your life. Starcraft 2 is great, but it is not life for the majority that play it. Chances are you will not go anywhere in the gaming industry at all, and if you do, it takes a lot of hard work and dedication, both of which I am guessing are foreign to you.
Man up, take your dishes down to the sink, clean your room, find a job, and see how the relationship changes with your father. Like Manifesto said, your father does not sound like a nice guy, but he does not sound terrible either. He is, after all, letting you live at his home rent free and you do not go to school or have a job correct?
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I haven't read your blog yet, I will but I want to say this first~ then will comment after I read it.
It seems you might've wrote this blog to get some sort of comfort or maybe people who can relate to you. But from reading from the comments of the thread it seems that most disagree with what you're saying. Maybe this will finally teach and tell you that you need to grow up and get the point across that you are mostly also the one who is wrong.
Hopefully from reading these comments you can finally better yourself and maybe appreciate your father more.
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doesn't sound like the best situation ever
but definitely doesn't sound like the worst either. i definitely feel this was posted in the heat of the moment instead of giving yourself time to calm down enough and be a little more logical.
your dad hit you in the thigh.... for a grand total of once. yeah, you're going through a lot of shit due to family problems. but your dad is dealing with a lot of shit as well. he's human and considering what hes dealing with, its not very surprising he was extra pissed off to find you dont clean your dishes up. considering how much hes dealing with, really expressing his anger by hitting you in the thigh with instigation from your part is really not a big deal. people get spanked as kids all the time to be disciplined (i was one of them)
i hope this is just a troll. id rather have everyone being laughed at for taking the bait than to know that you are really presenting a complaint in this manner. i say its more than fair for you to complain about the situation you are in, but you are pretty much just trash talking your dad in this post, who I feel isn't holding up too badly considering the things going on in his life.
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Your father hit you on the tight? ROFL my father was pretty rude with me up to my 16's and as far as I remember I deserved every hit for being a total @ss which right now you are, and you are 21? Get a job and leave. "My house, my rules" is what most parents think and I agree 100%.
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most of parents in the world thinks video games are waist of time. ask when they were born and that should give you that answer. -_-;. you picture how parents should teach there kids but yet ur to ignorant to know how hard it is being a parent in the world where money is everything. I bet your parents happiest moment was seeing u born. did they abusive u as a child as u grew up? i know divorce is hard on the parents and the kid but u gotta realize that theres alot of divorced parents out there fighting all the time and you just gotta man up and thank that you have both parents living. u saying ur dad crossed the line by hitting u in the tigh is just pussy, i dont think ur dad felt good either. if ur dad is having hard time in life, help him out man wtf? he always fghts with ur mom over stupid reason i bet. he has to make money for rent, and all the other stress shit he gotta deal with not focusing on teaching you whats right and wrong when ur 21 . talk to him go watch movie together go out and eat somewhere and maybe ask him to go church with u on sundays if ur unconformtable in doing that then buy something nice to eat or cook something. if ur dad is not getting drunk and beating the shit out of u then fucking man up ur 21 and see where u can help for fuck sakes.
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First off, he hit you in the thigh, and you make it sound like its a massive deal. A smack to the thigh is alot different than someone hauling a rip at your face or something.
Look, your dad doesn't sound like a great guy, but you are definitely a part of the problem and deserve some of the blame for this situation.
What did I do? I was being me. It's who I am, and unfortunately it's parental fail on his part because he didn't teach me differently. It's ingrained in my personality ever since I was a little kid. If you can't accept the child that you raised then I'm sorry for existing. I'm sorry for being a burden on your life. Do you want me to die?
Are you serious? Did you really just try to blame your parents for the way you are. Rofl. As you said your 21, your an adult capable of rational thought and decision making and you can change "you". You can blame your parents for how you act when you're 12 maybe, but sure as hell can't when you're 21.
He thinks video games are a waste of time, regardless of what you do. He has it in his eyes that all video games are one of a kind and that when a new one comes out everyone starts at square one. StarCraft1/BW -> StarCraft 2 is proof of the contrary, but he doesn't understand that. His favorite thing to say in order to mock my hobby is "Video gaming is time wasted awaiting death." Great parenting, telling me how I'm wasting my life away. Does he not realize just how much you can do in the gaming community, or in the video game industry?
All parents tell their kids they are wasting their life away when they appear to be doing worthless activities, which to your dad gaming is. Thats perfectly normal, acceptable parenting. Your father is very worried for you because to him it seems like your headed down a dark path with no future. Getting upset at your parents for caring is just silly. Is he supposed to not care? OK, your dad isn't on the same page as you about video games, but VERY few parents are. It's a deep rooted social stigma associated with games, and honestly you guys aren't at a point in your relationship where you can really show him what you believe to be true about gaming.
3. I'm lazy.
I have this annoying habit of mine that my parents unfortunately never taught me when I was a child which is proven by my new younger brother, age 7, who does exactly the same thing. When I now know better and I tell my father that little age 7 should pick up after himself like everyone else should, he uses the excuse that "You did that when you were 7 as well." Like that's supposed to make it right? So because you failed once, it's OK for you to fail again? Now when it comes to my room, I have a habit of leaving glass, cutlery and plates in my room because I just forget to bring it up with me when I leave my room. I have maybe 10-15 knives and forks in pizza cartons right now as I type this, and he came storming down today screaming there were no knives and forks left, where are they? Frantically looked around my room and saw the pizza cartons and lifted a couple, heard the scrambling of metal on metal and in a rage, he pounded my thigh.
Thats fucked up. And no, you don't forget; nobody forgets stacks of pizza cartons, plates, and silverware, you just don't care enough to deal with it. I am fairly confident of two things, one is that this mess annoys the hell out of your dad, and the second is that he has asked you about it before. If your parents make a reasonable request (clean[ish] room) and you can't follow it they have every right to be pissed at you. If I was your parent I would be furious if you pulled that kinda madness in my house. He's probably extremely frustrated, worried sick about you, and then on top of that you continue to be such an awful slob he doesn't even have silverware to eat with. Given that just telling, or yelling at you to clean up hasn't worked,he did something more forceful to get your attention.
4. ...
Yea, your dad isn't an angel. Can't argue there.
What I'm getting at here is a couple things. One is your making a huge fuss over something that isn't a huge deal, getting hit in the thigh (which doesn't even hurt as bad as a good spanking). More importantly, you don't seem to have any perspective. You just assume your dad is a scumbag and hit you because of that. You refuse to consider that you have given him TREMENDOUS reason to be worried sick about you and frustrated to no ends. The fact that he hit you in the thigh and not in the face tells me he was probably just incredibly frustrated with and at you and since nothing else is working did something a little more serious to get your attention. Your dad hitting you in the thigh is perfectly reasonable and justified.
Consider engaging in some perspective taking and try to understand where your dad is coming from and how he sees you, and consider taking a look at your own life and all the ways you could ease your fathers struggles. Always try to be the better man.
GL, and I hope everything turns out okay in the end.
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I think it's funny how people seem to think what my dad did was justified. Again, it doesn't matter where he hit me or what I had done prior. He hit me in the thigh three hours ago, and it still hurts when I walk.
There is never a reason to hit your kid, and this isn't the first time he has been violent to exude his dominance. He has threatened to hit me hundreds of times and he hit my mother several times, another thing you never have the right to do, regardless of what they are doing.
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I'm hard pressed to not see this as a troll. You're 21, you have no ambition, you still live at home without a job, didn't bother with school, you leech of your father, lazy like hell, can't manage to follow a simple rule and you are wondering why he is frustrated with you? Most people grow out of the phase when they are 15 or younger, grow up. You're not some defenseless child you're a grown adult you can handle a smack to the thigh.
And ofcourse it's not ok to use violence, but it's also not ok to blame someone else for your own failures.
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On March 14 2011 18:12 SolHeiM wrote:
I think it's funny how people seem to think what my dad did was justified. Again, it doesn't matter where he hit me or what I had done prior. He hit me in the thigh three hours ago, and it still hurts when I walk.
There is never a reason to hit your kid, and this isn't the first time he has been violent to exude his dominance. He has threatened to hit me hundreds of times and he hit my mother several times, another thing you never have the right to do, regardless of what they are doing.
I have no problems with this. There are times when people need a stronger wake up call and things just aren't getting through.
Again, your refusing to consider other people's views.
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On March 14 2011 18:12 SolHeiM wrote:
I think it's funny how people seem to think what my dad did was justified. Again, it doesn't matter where he hit me or what I had done prior. He hit me in the thigh three hours ago, and it still hurts when I walk.
There is never a reason to hit your kid, and this isn't the first time he has been violent to exude his dominance. He has threatened to hit me hundreds of times and he hit my mother several times, another thing you never have the right to do, regardless of what they are doing.
it's not a matter of whether that it's right or wrong that he hit you. yes, he should not have done that. but your attitude and immaturity is whats making nobody take your side.
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10387 Posts
On March 14 2011 18:12 SolHeiM wrote:
I think it's funny how people seem to think what my dad did was justified. Again, it doesn't matter where he hit me or what I had done prior. He hit me in the thigh three hours ago, and it still hurts when I walk.
There is never a reason to hit your kid, and this isn't the first time he has been violent to exude his dominance. He has threatened to hit me hundreds of times and he hit my mother several times, another thing you never have the right to do, regardless of what they are doing.
That's a matter of views. I, for one, think that parents have the right to give their kid a smack in the face when their words aren't getting through to them at all. Honestly I'm surprised he hasn't kicked you out yet.
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There are few things in this life that make me more more pissed off than people who blame their parents/others for their own shortcomings.
If you think it's that horrible, then just get the hell out of there instead of sitting in your dirty room complaining on a website.
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What where you expecting consolation or 100% approval of your reactions/actions?
On March 14 2011 08:09 SolHeiM wrote:
If I knew for a 100% certain that the world was going to end and we would all end with it and there was no chance of preventing it, I would probably murder a certain individual I despise. Maybe rape someone because I know it won't matter shortly anyway.
I definitely wouldn't be sitting around doing nothing though, as I think most people wouldn't go numb but crazy.
Well I'm pretty damn sure your parents did a poor job if you can come up with crap like this... just fucking GROW UP and in the process get some fucking help too.
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On March 14 2011 18:16 ArvickHero wrote:Show nested quote +On March 14 2011 18:12 SolHeiM wrote:
I think it's funny how people seem to think what my dad did was justified. Again, it doesn't matter where he hit me or what I had done prior. He hit me in the thigh three hours ago, and it still hurts when I walk.
There is never a reason to hit your kid, and this isn't the first time he has been violent to exude his dominance. He has threatened to hit me hundreds of times and he hit my mother several times, another thing you never have the right to do, regardless of what they are doing. That's a matter of views. I, for one, think that parents have the right to give their kid a smack in the face when their words aren't getting through to them at all. Honestly I'm not surprised he hasn't kicked you out yet.
we need to draw a line between spanking a 12 year old kid versus having to get physical with a 21 year old.... i dont think thats a fair connection to make - i dont think the OP is unjustified in believing he's been seriously wronged.
a kid lacks the maturity to understand what's best for him/her (at least in the eyes of his/her parents), so sometimes thats just the only way to get through to them. but when you're 21 and your parent hits you out of frustration, i think that's definitely more serious and goes beyond spanking discipline, especially considering his dad has a history of domestic violence.
but the OP is still being awfully immature and inconsiderate of others. i dont know man, i think you should at least have a job or something. and especially considering you got a little brother caught in the middle of this, i think you are way too focused on the wrongs that are done to you.
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Your blog is very well written and I agree with the criticism of the violent behaviour as well as your father's failure to realize that most of the responsibility of raising you lay with him, if he is indeed unaware of it and not just projecting, and that it is him who is to blame if you do not live up to his standards, and I agree with many other logical inconsistencies in his opinions which you have pointed out.
At the same time though you appear to be looking at things in a too black and white manner, making absolute statements and comparing them, which does not allow for an accurate representation of the dissent.
"Video gaming is time wasted awaiting death", for example, can be true or false depending on how you establish what it means to not waste time. Disagreeing with that statement without making sure everyone is looking at it from the same perspective is pointless.
It is also hard to imagine that you are unaware of the abundance of cutlery lying around in your room when there are 10-15 pieces of them so close together that their container can be shaken to make metal scramble on metal, in pizza cartons, which are hard to be oblivious of in this number unless you have spread them around a gigantic room.
On the bright side, most human beings display unrefinedness and neglect, logical inconcistencies in opinions and lack of aspiration or an overarching goal in their behaviour to varying degrees. The individuals of your family are no special case, nor the worst case.
edit: Skimming through some of the posts in this thread I must point out that parents are responsible for you and have to provide for you until at least age 26 unless your job situation allows you to do that yourself in many countries, that it is their responsibility to know this before they conceive you, that despite of that you are an individual with rights, which will mostly be the same rights they themselves enjoy once you are 18 and that violence of any sort is not legally acceptable in addition to being morally and intellectually reprehensible. Saying that you have to put up with them and their rules as long as you are living under their roof only goes so far (not far at all indeed).
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It sounds like you're in a bad situation living where you are, speaking especially about your state of mind. If you really hate your dad so much it's probably best to get a job and peace out. Go play video games and leave silverware around your own apartment if you don't like what's going on right now.
And please don't take all the comments in here as negative. Read them, consider them, and make up your own mind and do what you believe is best for you.
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I remember being hit by my parents quite a few times (beaten with a wooden spoon anyone????). Thinking back on it now, I deserved everything I got  Hitting me may not have been the best means of punishment or correction, but my parents did their best and I don't expect them to be perfect.
Being hit on the thigh, after you failed to do something as basic as bringing the cutlery/dishes down so the others in your house can use them, doesn't seem like such a big deal to me. I think you're making a mountain out of molehill here, or just looking for any excuse to foist all the blame onto your father. It's an easy trap to fall into, no one wants to believe they share blame for a bad situation.
I think you need to take a long hard look at yourself, and think about where you are going wrong. Getting out of the house and getting some kind of job would probably be the best thing for you at the moment, since it would give you some perspective as well as some control over your own life
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My father met someone from Thailand and they could not speak a single word to each other. They "fell in love" which I don't fucking understand how that happens
Sadly, this happens a LOT in Thailand.
I myself witnessed some shit like this too.It's not a rare sight to see,really. Women walking with foreigners and acting as if they were lovers while they know very little to no english.
I know some of them really fell in love but i'm pretty sure MANY of them(women) do it solely because money....I mean cmon,how the hell can you "fell in love" with someone you cant even talk with is beyond me. This makes me wonder how foreigner views our country in general. TT
Well, at least there is one good thing about my country :p + Show Spoiler +![[image loading]](http://www.teamliquid.net/staff/Hot_Bid/TLFE/bisusleep.jpg) bisu won an MSL after a vacation in Thailand!
As for your situation,I think you should sort things out with your dad and be less lazy,being more respectful towards him will help too but if you cant really do that you can try to move out and live on your own though it might be hard.
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On March 14 2011 18:12 SolHeiM wrote:
I think it's funny how people seem to think what my dad did was justified. Again, it doesn't matter where he hit me or what I had done prior. He hit me in the thigh three hours ago, and it still hurts when I walk.
There is never a reason to hit your kid, and this isn't the first time he has been violent to exude his dominance. He has threatened to hit me hundreds of times and he hit my mother several times, another thing you never have the right to do, regardless of what they are doing.
There is every reason to hit your kid when they just aren't fucking listening and doing disgusting retarded stuff like leaving pizza boxes all over your room. Don't be a fucking moron. You're a grown man. Stop coming to an internet forum and crying.
It may not have been justified in hitting you, but nobody is perfect, and you are a lot further from being perfect than he is.
Your life is pathetic because of your own decisions and you trying to blame your father for it is weak. Grow up, or shut up.
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On March 14 2011 18:12 SolHeiM wrote:
I think it's funny how people seem to think what my dad did was justified. Again, it doesn't matter where he hit me or what I had done prior. He hit me in the thigh three hours ago, and it still hurts when I walk.
There is never a reason to hit your kid, and this isn't the first time he has been violent to exude his dominance. He has threatened to hit me hundreds of times and he hit my mother several times, another thing you never have the right to do, regardless of what they are doing.
Tell you what
I'm 21, same as you. Lets compare our lives.
I, like you, chose to eschew working especially hard at school. Like you, I LOOOOVE videogaming. However, I recognise that it is just a hobby, not a serious life prospect. I've held a full time job since I was 18. I moved out shortly before my 19th birthday, buying an apartment of my own that I have lived in ever since. I am engaged to be married as of May 2010, still hold that full time job, and still manage 2-3 hours of Starcraft 2 a night (no kids yet).
My parents hit me a couple times when I was growing up. And do you know what? I fucking deserved it every single time it happened. Do you know why? Because I was being an arrogant little fuckhead who thought he knew better than his parents despite having no life experience at that point. And thats what you are. An arrogant little fuckhead who thinks he knows better despite having basically a pathetic excuse for a life due to his own laziness and idiocy.
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Dude... You're 21.
move the fuck out.
NOW.
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You're not a child anymore, theres a big difference between hitting a child and hitting an adult, if you don't like the situation your in move out instead of bitching about your father who is paying for your lifestyle which you cannot seem to appreciate. He's out there working just so you can sit around and do nothing, and in return you can't even return a semblance of respect and clean your own shit up?
Sounds like you need to grow up and act your age instead of acting like a self absorbed child who only cares about them self and acts without regard for others.
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you're both making mistakes, its stupid to put this all one him, you don't understand him, he doesn't understand you and both aren't able too. this will not be fixed as long as you be in the same house.
you're only fix will be to move out, and see later if it will go better or if it'll stay this way. im not saying you're father is right. i mean saying stuff like "almost got into" etc and still living in the past (video games suck) say alot for him. but really you won't be innocent yourself either even if you dont realize that
move out, really, ive been there
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Hrmm there's no situation when it's okay to use violence when raising your children. For me it gets weird when you are a grown man and let him do this.
Edit: I now realize it only happened once, so don't speak to him for a year or two and move out
My father was a dick to me when I was your age so I moved into my girlfriends house and a few months later we got our own apartment. Had I been single a similar story would probably have unfolded with a friend of mine.
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On March 14 2011 18:18 fenixdown wrote:What where you expecting consolation or 100% approval of your reactions/actions? Show nested quote +On March 14 2011 08:09 SolHeiM wrote:
If I knew for a 100% certain that the world was going to end and we would all end with it and there was no chance of preventing it, I would probably murder a certain individual I despise. Maybe rape someone because I know it won't matter shortly anyway.
I definitely wouldn't be sitting around doing nothing though, as I think most people wouldn't go numb but crazy. Well I'm pretty damn sure your parents did a poor job if you can come up with crap like this... just fucking GROW UP and in the process get some fucking help too.
Holy fucking shit. Thanks for posting that, fenix.
SolHeiM, you are a pathetic excuse for a human being. You claim you'd willingly torture an innocent girl in her final hours of life, then expect our goddamn sympathy because you got hit on the fucking thigh?
I agree with fenix. Get some fucking help.
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I went through similar shit, and in fact still am to some extent. My dad can be awesome. He is a hard working guy and I can respect him for that. But when it comes to things with my mother he becomes a complete shithead. My parents are still together and I live with them while going through school.
My mom is actually the problem, she is such a bitch and she is insane, it is unbearable living with her most of the time. But here is how I deal with it. Eventually I just stopped caring. For the most part I ignore her when she bitches and just leave the house if shit gets serious. I work a good amount now and go to school so I am not home a lot for her to bitch at, but when I am she usually finds a reason.
I used to get into physical fights with my dad which resulted in us going to the police station a couple of times, me being put on PINS petitions which are generally for drug addicts but I got put on it because my parents were/are dicks.
Anyway that was just to kind of get you to understand that I see where you are coming from. If you finished school or have a decent/good job I would say just leave. Get a job, get your own place, don't talk to your parents anymore. Problem solved. I plan on doing that when I finish school. Just leaving and not looking back.
The point is, make sure you think what you do through. Don't fuck up rest of your life by dropping out of school/university to go work as a waiter for the rest of your life. I chose to put up with my parents shit because its more economical for me to do that, even if I hate my life at times. Currently my parents pay for most of my food, and my school. Plus I get a place to live. Since I owe money and would like to get out of debt it makes the most sense for me to do that. However if at any time I seriously just can't take it anymore I will just join the military now, which will allow me to pursue school at a later time and further my career goals. I plan to join the military either way though. If I wait until I have a bachelors I would make more money and come in at a higher rank which is worth it to me to deal with them for another 1.5 years.
If you can support yourself, or if you seriously can't take it anymore and you have the means do do it all on your own, then go for it. But make sure to weigh the costs of leaving versus the benefits of staying, even if there are cons. Just make sure not to be rash and not to fuck up your life for this. Currently what I plan to do is finish my bachelors while getting out of debt, join the military for a bit and see the world then come back and do something in law enforcement. I can easily alter that and finish school while in the military, but I wouldn't make as much money. Roughly 10k/year less. So I can wait and deal with my parents for those benfits
Just make your decision and make sure to think it out. Good luck with everything.
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My dad's Korean, and has/had some anger management issues, mostly due to stress at work. On those days if I fucked up, I'd get fucked up. A lot of parents hit their children, and although I am against it, it's obviously the fastest method to set your child straight(at a young age anyways).
But seriously, your 21.. My parents stopped hitting me when I started high school. You have all the tools necessary to do whatever you want, so either show more respect to your father by doing what he expects or move out.
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Sounds to me like your father should have hit you a lot earlier in life, that way you might have some self-discipline.
You take the stance that your present state is the result of your upbringing, i.e. learned behaviours from your parents. If so, then surely a natural course of action is to hit him back. Perhaps that's the jolt you need to change your life (you'd certainly be moving out after that).
Unless perhaps you have some delusional belief that despite the trials of your upbringing, despite it all, you can win this battle by claiming the moral highground.
Perhaps Dhalphir was spot on with his analysis?On March 14 2011 17:56 Dhalphir wrote:
There are two circumstances in which it is okay to still be living at home at age 21.
2) You're mentally or physically disabled in some way and dependent on constant care.
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ALLEYCAT BLUES49697 Posts
leave now,and man up while your at it.
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Move out if you have the money for it.
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Guys guys! You don't get it. Nothing is his fault because his parents raised him to be the way he is. If they were better at raising him he would be a successful billionaire playboy by now, but too bad they dropped the ball.
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Honestly it sounds like your dad has it a lot rougher then you... he got a divorce, got a random girl who does not care about him pregnant, and was convicted of a crime... help him out man... it sounds like hes had it a lot rougher than you... he probably looks at you and sees a lot of potential and wants to motivate you although it might be in the wrong way by hitting you (which i honestly think its not) ... or maybe he wants you to get up off your ass and get a part time job and lift a finger around the house
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Rofl what a joke
Wahhhh, im 21 and I take no responsibility for myself, Its everyone elses fault I'm not successful and it wasn't for them, i'd probably be a progamer living in korea making a million dollars a year.
The only mistake your dad has made is not kicking you out of the house. You need to learn to take some fucking responsibility for yourself. You're an adult, and have been an adult for some time now. Start acting like one and not a fucking baby.
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I thought I would weigh in with an unpopular opinion and just state that I think many of these comments are overly critical. Many people are judging this guy using their own life/own context, ie. "when I was your age.....". Often you can't use your own upbringing and values to judge others.
Rules regarding children leaving home, children looking after parents in later life or rules regarding discipline, employment options or castes can be totally different between countries or cultures. Unless you know the OP from other posts on TL maybe it's not a good idea to bash him so hard. Telling him to quit whining and man up is unlikely to help him improve himself anyway.
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On March 14 2011 20:53 ~ava wrote:
I thought I would weigh in with an unpopular opinion and just state that I think many of these comments are overly critical. Many people are judging this guy using their own life/own context, ie. "when I was your age.....". Often you can't use your own upbringing and values to judge others.
Rules regarding children leaving home, children looking after parents in later life or rules regarding discipline, employment options or castes can be totally different between countries or cultures. Unless you know the OP from other posts on TL maybe it's not a good idea to bash him so hard. Telling him to quit whining and man up is unlikely to help him improve himself anyway.
Even though I see where you're comming from with this comment, I do disagree with you. The OP chose to post this publically and we can't really do anything but judge him by the text he have written. And from this little information, he does seem very immature and it's probably good for him to read comments like these from people with no relation to him or his family.
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You sound a bit liked a spoiled brat. Do yourself a favor and have a look at your post. It's actually just a long complaint of how cruel the world has been to you.
No one has an easy path, despite what you may think and at the end of the day, its what YOU make of it that will make the difference in your life.
Wake up, get a grip and start shaping your life. No one else is going to do it for you.
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On March 14 2011 21:00 shinwa wrote:Show nested quote +On March 14 2011 20:53 ~ava wrote:
I thought I would weigh in with an unpopular opinion and just state that I think many of these comments are overly critical. Many people are judging this guy using their own life/own context, ie. "when I was your age.....". Often you can't use your own upbringing and values to judge others.
Rules regarding children leaving home, children looking after parents in later life or rules regarding discipline, employment options or castes can be totally different between countries or cultures. Unless you know the OP from other posts on TL maybe it's not a good idea to bash him so hard. Telling him to quit whining and man up is unlikely to help him improve himself anyway. Even though I see where you're comming from with this comment, I do disagree with you. The OP chose to post this publically and we can't really do anything but judge him by the text he have written. And from this little information, he does seem very immature and it's probably good for him to read comments like these from people with no relation to him or his family.
I think you're mostly right and if I use my 'reasonable brain' to assess him based on the OP alone then that's fair enough. I guess I just wanted to temper peoples' anger. I didn't leave home until 21 because I lived with mentally ill grandparents that said they would hurt themselves if I left, all of us suffer from anxiety disorder (amongst other things) and if I'd been told to 'man the fuck up' back then I'd have fallen to pieces.
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I think it's time for you to get a job. Not having grades enough to get into any university and making a rage blog about it instead of doing something about it is pretty indicative of a complete lack of motivation and discipline.
You should have done your military service, that would have given you discipline but at this point it's kind of too late for that so what you need instead is a job with responsibilities and a chain of command.
Doesn't have too be something boring - you could be a game tester or community manager - anything's good. Junior assistant at a company unrelated to gaming would also work or even something in public transport or a cabdriver. Ultimately - what's important is that you get the accountability and responsibility you need. Once you have it, it won't be hard completing what's left of high school while still working and eventually move on to uni or a higher position within the company.
Living amongst pizza cartons and unwashed utensils? Really? Regardless of why - you have to realize that it's something worth remedying. Just by watching movies you should have been given a basic understanding of the concept of dignity, regardless of neglect by your parents.
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On March 14 2011 20:53 ~ava wrote:
I thought I would weigh in with an unpopular opinion and just state that I think many of these comments are overly critical. Many people are judging this guy using their own life/own context, ie. "when I was your age.....". Often you can't use your own upbringing and values to judge others.
Rules regarding children leaving home, children looking after parents in later life or rules regarding discipline, employment options or castes can be totally different between countries or cultures. Unless you know the OP from other posts on TL maybe it's not a good idea to bash him so hard. Telling him to quit whining and man up is unlikely to help him improve himself anyway.
Ok, here's another post of his.
On March 14 2011 08:09 SolHeiM wrote:
If I knew for a 100% certain that the world was going to end and we would all end with it and there was no chance of preventing it, I would probably murder a certain individual I despise. Maybe rape someone because I know it won't matter shortly anyway.
I definitely wouldn't be sitting around doing nothing though, as I think most people wouldn't go numb but crazy.
Courtesy of fenix.
Anyways...you're just as much to blame as he is. You've got the ability to get a job somewhere. Yeah, maybe video games are a good time-sink, and maybe they can get you somewhere in life.
Nothing's gonna do shit for you if you don't get up and do something about it. Maybe go to school so you don't have to wave a magic wand to get a job at Blizzard, or anywhere else? Maybe stop blaming everything on your father? My household is shitty. Essentially the same deal. Anger issues with my father, split up parents causing grief, and I hate it here. I absolutely HATE IT. Like the fist of the north star.
So, do you want to know what I do and don't do?
Don't
-Sit here and go qq my father sucks.
-Say it's my parents fault that my life isn't what it could be.
-Do things that I know piss them off. I have...two glasses up here from last night. I pass right by the kitchen every day on my way out. Take shit down on way out of door, never have more than a night's worth of stuff up here. Problem solved, no more Dad going "DO YOU HAVE ANY GLASSES UPSTAIRS?!?" Trust me, I used to NEVER bring this stuff downstairs and I'd have more glasses up here than a bar.
Do
-Sit on my ass and play video games all night. When I don't have stuff I need to do, I sit here just as much as anyone else. I was even worse when I still played WoW.
-Things that need to be done to MITIGATE THE ANGER ISSUES. We had a lot of property damage from a storm a few weeks ago. The shit just sat out in the front yard for two weeks before I went out there and started cutting the trees that had fallen down, cleaning the siding off the house that was falling off...Did I do this because I wanted to? Fuck no, Dragon Age 2 came out and I wanted to sit here and play it. Was it worth being told I was a lazy fuck? No. Heck I was only halfway done when he came outside and said he'd pay someone to do the rest. Easy.
-I'm working full time. I've worked full time from the minute I got out of high school. I didn't get accepted into college because my video gaming fucked everything up my Junior / Senior year. I learned from my mistakes, I did NOT say "oh man I wish Dad had raised me to be more diligent *starts up WoW*" I went out and got a job at a Border Cafe running food for tables for basically shit pay, but it got me out of the house, for starters, and didn't make it feel (to myself and my father) that I was going to just sit on my ass here forever and not do a single damn thing. Not only that, but it got me into a full time agency job and I travel all over the States as well as places in Europe / Australia, and nowhere but expansion in my future.
At the very least you can try to make things better. My relationship with my father has improved tenfold since I actually made an effort to be anything more than a lazy slug. What are you doing now, and what was I doing in the past? We were both another "thing" in the day that father has to deal with. Put yourself in his shoes, and I know you think "oh his parenting sucks lolol" but okay, YOU fucked up your parenthood, and you have this 21 year old lazy kid that hates it here, and you know it. Would that be something you would want to deal with every day of your life? No, probably not. Cut him some slack and put some effort into your life, you can't always let shit like this fester, take some action now before it gets worse...because that's all it's going to do if you continue doing what you're doing now.
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Wow, I don't understand you at all. You say they did a fucked up job raising you and that's why you are acting up but if you know you're fucked up, change for god's sake!
I am fairly certain you deserved a smacking and while I agree it is generally not to OK to hit a child...YOU are no longer a child! Take responsibility for your actions and grow up. I can't believe your parents haven't kicked you out already. There's a saying in Sweden called "Curling parents" and you are, in some sense, a product of parental curling.
Man, you'd be so fucked if they stopped paying for your slacking and made you responsible for your own food/lodging OR it'd be the oportunity your life and maybe you'd make something of yourself. Either way, I hope, for your own sake that they kick you out ASAP. My guess you'd end up an "A-lagare" living off my tax money.
Sorry if I come off harsh, your attitude just rub me in every wrong way.
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You don't seem to be doing anything to further your situation..... Just bitching.....
In a few years, either you'll man up and realize what a piece of shit you've been and actually regret posting this, or you'll still be a piece of shit.
If living there is so miserable, either move the fuck out, or grin and bear it to get the grades needed to get into uni. Living in the basement like a fucking slob is not going to solve any of your problems. Ever.
PS - e-sports and videogaming is a hobby..... Limit yourself, and you'll find you have tons of time to do whatever.
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I'm going to assume that you're battling a case of severe depression. What you've described sounds A LOT like it, and being one that's been battling depression for years now, I've become fairly familiar with the signs. Try taking this short test (10 very easy questions) and see how you do.
http://depression.about.com/cs/diagnosis/l/bldepscreenquiz.htm
If it indicates depression, I'd recommend that you consult with a mental health specialist. It can only help. They can provide non-judgmental advice (which there's a disappointing lack of in the responses here) as well as different sorts of practices to help you battle the difficulties of depression. This sounds like a service the government would provide in Sweden, though I don't know for sure. Even if you're not depressed, speaking with a mental health specialist wouldn't be a bad idea.
For people that have never been severely depressed, it can be difficult to understand what life is like for those that are. Basically, everything about life becomes 10x more difficult. Even doing the simplest tasks becomes difficult. You feel as if you have no energy at all, and life more or less comes to a halt because you hate almost everything about your life, yet doing anything about it is extremely draining. Motivating yourself to do anything at all feels like climbing a mountain. You feel immense guilt because you know you're a burden on those around you and hate yourself for that, and you hate yourself for being so weak that you can't even motivate yourself to do something as simple as turning in a job application or doing the dishes. You're deeply ashamed of almost everything in your life, and the inability to do anything about it enhances those feelings.
Does any of that sound familiar? If not, I'm sorry for making the assumption that you're severely depressed.
Anyway, I'd like to recommend something that helped me when I was in a similar situation a couple years back.
Think of one positive thing you can do each day. It can be something simple, like cleaning up the cutlery in your room, or completing some household chore, or turning in a job application. Make a list of things you'd like to do to improve your life, and take them one by one (and yes, making the list counts for your daily accomplishment). Progress may be slow, but this way, you're never completely stagnated. You'll always be taking small steps towards improving your life. On top of that, you'll feel good afterward. Don't worry if you mess up one day, or the next day, or the next day. Just do your best to keep focusing on those things you'd like to do, and the days you do succeed, you're making progress =-).
Truthfully, there are a lot of things you need to take responsibility for in your life, especially your livelihood and such, and I think you understand that, so I won't elaborate on that any further. Do your best to shake off feelings of guilt, and keep chugging along. I'm guessing that a lot of this blog is venting, because your dad who doesn't really understand how it is and just thinks you're some incompetent, lazy idiot. You're not, and don't allow yourself to entertain those types of thoughts.
I'd also like to recommend a book that's offers a very good perspective on battling depression. Here's a link to it.
http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-Therapy-Revised-Updated/dp/0380810336
Basically, it teaches you to challenge negative thoughts that arise in your head, thus helping you feel good =-). I'd recommend looking for a copy at a local library, or see if you can find it as an e-book. It's really a good read (though a little long, but even reading the first 100 pages is really useful).
I hope some of this helped =-).
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Dude I'm just 19 and I go to university, pay my bills and live with my girlfriend. And my kitchen is always nice and clean.
Looks like you have a problem like many said.
Also, unless you're studying to enter the video game industry with serious leads... yes, video games can be a waste of time.
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On March 14 2011 17:58 Sephy69 wrote:
I haven't read your blog yet, I will but I want to say this first~ then will comment after I read it.
It seems you might've wrote this blog to get some sort of comfort or maybe people who can relate to you. But from reading from the comments of the thread it seems that most disagree with what you're saying. Maybe this will finally teach and tell you that you need to grow up and get the point across that you are mostly also the one who is wrong.
Hopefully from reading these comments you can finally better yourself and maybe appreciate your father more.
Again, because some people seem to keep missing a most important point despite their criticism of SolHeiM being understandable: kids need to be taken care of. It is the parent's duty to be aware of that before having a child and to provide that care afterwards. Not only that, but in many countries this duty is a legal responsibility as well, going so far as to being legally obligated to provide for the growing adult until for example age 26 (Germany), unless your offspring is in a situation that allows them to cover those living expenses themselves. If it is their legal obligation then it cannot at the same time be an act of kindness and cannot be something to require any form of appreciation.
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You're 21 and still believe video games aren't a waste of time? Seriously? Sure they are great entertainment, I play them quite frequently, but if your life is as farked up as you say it is........then get off your lazy butt and do something with your life. At this point.....it's all your fault. Your 21, can't stay in school, don't have a job, live with your parents, and have no future. And yet you're defending sitting on your lazy butt and playing video games all day? Really?
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Of course parents need to take care of their kids and teach them their ways. But past teenage crisis, you actually need to take progressively control of your life.
Everyone should forget the idea that learning happens only as a result of being thaught.
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As someone who wasted the majority of their youth playing way too much videogames and ignoring my dad and thinking he was a dick, and as someone who is now an adult, I can tell you that you are probably going to look back and think you were the piece of shit, and realise your dad was pretty alright.
Whatever though. Stop playing videogames so much.
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Parenthood is a lot harder than you might think it is. At some point you have to stop blaming your parents for everything and do things for yourself. I think you're aware that living like a pig is a bad thing, and that being lazy and not doing anything with your life is bad. Do you think because you weren't taught this at a young age (yeah right) that you can't learn it now? Hell, you know it now. Why are you still being lazy if you know it's bad? It doesn't make sense. Your dad is doing what he can to get you off your butt and you're still saying he isn't trying to help you?
A slap in the thigh is not abuse. It's the most mushy, least damaging place I can think of to hit someone. Words aren't getting thru to you so maybe he thought physical discipline would? If he wanted to hurt you, if he wanted to take his aggression out on you, he'd have hit you in the face because you're a damn brat. Yeah, he had a part in that, but right now you are not trying at all. Please take a lesson from the reaction of people on this forum and start picking yourself up.
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You really should leave the house. Get a job and move on. If he keeps hitting you until you get a place, hit him back.
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On March 14 2011 17:15 SolHeiM wrote:
2. I'm wasting my life away.
He thinks video games are a waste of time, regardless of what you do. He has it in his eyes that all video games are one of a kind and that when a new one comes out everyone starts at square one. StarCraft1/BW -> StarCraft 2 is proof of the contrary, but he doesn't understand that. His favorite thing to say in order to mock my hobby is "Video gaming is time wasted awaiting death." Great parenting, telling me how I'm wasting my life away. Does he not realize just how much you can do in the gaming community, or in the video game industry?
This is just precious.
DADDY DADDY! This guy Day9 defied ridiculous odds because he's got charisma and work ethic I can only dream of, and I'm gonna be just like him!!! I'm not wasting my time, I'M BUILDING MY RESUME. WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND????
there's been so many spoiled little shit blogs on this site but this one is really something special!
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There's nothing wrong with being a slacker and enjoying video games. Those things are not incompatible with being an adult ('let the surfer surf'). But you have to understand that no one apart from your peers in the current state of the culture is going to understand your hobby and you need to start taking responsibility for yourself. If you're staying at home, you need to be as respectful and as clean as possible, and share the housework. You need a full-time job and pay your rent. If you would rather leave, get a small apartment with a work colleague. Not everyone wants to work or study, no one wants to have to put up with people who are ignorant. But you have to make the best of it.
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I'd hate you too if you hoarded all the cutlery in the house in your room because you couldn't bother to wash them after you used them.
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On March 14 2011 23:17 kidleader wrote:
Not everyone wants to work or study
And these people are called bums. Get a job, save up some money, move out.
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I am fighting my urgue to answer you in swedish since it just feels better raging at someone in swedish...
First of all: You should go to your father and THANK him for letting you stay in his house (not paying rent and eating for free i assume?) and generally leaching off him despite being 21 years old.
Second: The absolutely very least you should do if you are allowed to stay there is to keep your shit tidy. Seriously, stop acting like a spoiled brat blaming your parent for you being to lazy to even take out used pizza cartons (lol!).
Third: a more reasonable behaviour from you if you are living at home at the age of 21 not working and not studying is to handle cleaning for the whole house, making dinner once a day and taking care of the lawn/garden if you have any. Repaying your fathers KINDNESS by making his life as easy as possible.
When i was 23 i vent through a rough time getting fired from my job and having to leave my apartment, my parents allowed me to move back into the tiniest room you can imagine but i was never anything but grateful. To show my gratitude for their kindness i did all chores, all cooking and walked the dog 4-5 times/day while they worked. You just seem to whine.
As for gaming... unless you can make a living off it NOW it is just a hobby and should be treated as such, playing on your spare time after work is one thing. Leaching off your father and playing all day is another.
And i agree it is wrong to hit a kid, but you are a grown man. If you are so lazy you cant even throw out your pizza cartons a hit on the thigh is long overdue. I would honestly kick you out on the curb if you where my brother (cant relate to son since i have none, but brother is also close family).
Seriously: Get your shit together, move out and get a job.
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Maybe instead of criticizing your father so much you should take a look at your own situation.
You're 21 and live at home, which isn't a problem, but it's not your house anymore, he's under no obligation to let you stay there. You apparently sit at your computer long enough to accrue like 8 days worth of cutlery beside you and you are still too lazy to bring it to the goddamn dishwasher.
Do you work, go to school? You're a grown up, act like one. Don't cry because he gave you a charlie horse
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On March 14 2011 23:30 DoubleZee wrote:And these people are called bums. Get a job, save up some money, move out.
You've misunderstood. Not wanting to work doesn't mean you don't. I sure as hell wouldn't if I didn't have to.
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if ur 21 ur dad is probably at least like 45, if he hits u again fight him. choke his ass out.
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Hold on...
1- You are lazy
2- You play video games (and i am assuming you do this more than anything making it wrong)
3- You don't pay rent
Just this alone blows my mind, you are an adult act like one. Stop blaming your father for the way he is and stop making excuses for the way you are. Its blatantly clear you know your flaws yet you do nothing to fix it. You are 21!!! its time to be a big boy and put down the mouse...
I swear sometimes reading things like this I rage.
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Does make me laugh how much anti-video game/video games are for children talk we get in the blog section of this dedicated Starcraft community.
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On March 15 2011 00:04 kidleader wrote:
Does make me laugh how much anti-video game/video games are for children talk we get in the blog section of this dedicated Starcraft community.
Who would know better than us?
And at 21 i am not sure i would class anyone as a child...
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I am not going to lie. I lived at my parents house until I was 25, I also had a full time job, paid for rent and bought my own groceries for the most part.
It sucks your dad hit you, but you have to move on from that. The best thing you can do now is do the little things, like do the dishes and throw out the garbage. Maybe get a job PT or FT it doesn't matter just as long as you have a job and are getting some life experience.
Video games are a big part of life for most of us here, but most of us here also are either students or people who work to make money and use video games as a way to relax after a tough day. I take it to the extreme, I am sitting at my computer for a big chunk of the evening after work. I have to cut back on it, but that is my own story and the thing I can only fix myself.
So basically what I am saying is work on the little things and try to improve yourself. He will be happy if you are trying. Getting a job and some responsibility will be a good thing for you.
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Why do you have so much cutlery if all you're eating is pizza? Do you cut your pizza up and eat it with a fork? You sound like you have a laundry list of problems but let's start with pizza etiquette: eat that shit with your hands.
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+ Show Spoiler +long ass thread to read 
i would like to apologize to you for all the "men" who've told you to "just do it"... "man up".. "leave".. because i can.
blogs are often troll material (hence the mass "dude talk" replies).. i will go on the assumption that you are not...
most blogs like yours are a genuine cry for help...
1/ as too many posters pointed out already: it is time for you to start out in the world... by yourself!
Again sorry if the previous posters' (most of them) typing is so harsh, this is an underestimated raw issue with everyone : they have or just have started to get their lives in order (suffered from it already), you have not...
So they somehow childishly forget that they were in your seat not so long ago...
2/don't go and fight your dad... (ignore these moronic comments)... don't let him hurt you either ...but don't add to the awful cycle...
YES, hitting your kid is wrong... (anyone saying contrary is a douche) a strike is always easily recognizable from a slap, it happens and it shouldn't.. we are, after all is said and done, only mammals...
Whatever comes out of your future (you leaving and never seeing him/her again or something else less drastic..., your relationship never is quite good but it improves), embrace the constructive... YOU doing it... not waiting for it to happen.
3/don't talk about your dad/mom/... close relatives (YOU CARE ABOUT) like that.. i know you need to get it out and it comes out.. but one should not talk to total strangers about his/her relatives like that... indeed, try to picture yourself in your fathers shoes...
4/family is like genetics... you are suppose to "go from there"...
5/i'm going n the assumption that you're all hard and aggro outside and all alone/feeling fu.. for life... inside... STOP it, cheer up you've got a lot of shit coming and a lot of good things (providing YOU try to do something of yourself)! It won't always be like it is now, if YOU take control of your life...
good luck ... life is short, you have to take chances, get going... not wait for stuff to happen (it will most likely never come)
Finally, everyone knows that "getting your shite together" is one of the hardest thing to do... only old farts like me would tell you though...
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My suggestion is move out. You are 21 years old and there is no reason for you to live at home in an abusive environment. Just move on, get a job and move out. Let your Dad sit there and take his aggressions out on other things.
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The least you can do while living with your dad is clean up after yourself. You're 21, it's not too late to learn to be considerate of other people.
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i really hope you're actually reading these responses and taking them to heart SolHeiM, because obviously something needs to change in your life. don't just blow this off man, maybe this is a sign to take the next step.
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Upon first reading your blog i thought you were someone who needed a wake up call and a nice little dose of reality. But then it came to my attention that in the end of the world thread you said you might rape someone because it wouldn't matter. I am now thoroughly convinced you are a complete piece of shit. You are going on about how it is never okay for someone to hit their child regardless of where and regardless of what they've done, but yet you said you would rape an innocent girl/woman because there would be no repercussions for you. That is a double standard to the worst degree. You'll never be good enough at video games to support yourself, and you're a disobedient 21 year old who lives at home?
Grow the fuck up.
Still can't get over your its never okay to hit your (21yrold) child anywhere, but raping is fine so long as you don't get in trouble.
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On March 15 2011 01:16 -Frog- wrote:
Why do you have so much cutlery if all you're eating is pizza? Do you cut your pizza up and eat it with a fork? You sound like you have a laundry list of problems but let's start with pizza etiquette: eat that shit with your hands.
best advice in this thread, that'll clear up that problem ezpz
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Your 21 and he is giving you a place to live. I think you are over reacting a tad. Sounds like to me you are not doing much but sponging off of him.
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Wow you sound like a complete failure, no wonder your dad hit you. You are 21 grow the fuck up and move out if you don't like living with him. No one is forcing you to stay with him. You claim there's so much to do with the gaming community and you say that to make yourself feel like you're not a loser yet you are cause no one knows you in this community.
You also seem to blame your father for the way you act even though you consciously seems to understand what it is you do wrong or the bad habits you have....so why don;t you change the way you behave instead of blaming your father.
The fact is you are an adult now and it's time for you to take responsibilities for your own actions and life.
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While I don't agree with your views, your story about your father is actually quite good. Your father has an anti-hero quality that I like about him. I hope when you don't hate your father as much, to write more about your father and his conflicts.
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On March 15 2011 04:28 HornSnHaloS wrote:
Still can't get over your its never okay to hit your (21yrold) child anywhere, but raping is fine so long as you don't get in trouble.
Yeah, nice find in the post history... Forget my advice, this guy is beyond help.
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this blog is cute
i feel bad for your dad, he's too nice to kick you out
who you are at the age of 21 has little to do with your parents. if there are aspects of you that you don't like, the reason they're not changed is because of you, not them.
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I think that your father can't actually raise you, if you have some kind of connection like that, his contact with the other man, may be the same, except some guys, which are so cold your fathers friends. That is the reason of you may have a really good connection with your mother, which he can't understand, and can't understand his role ( as the story begun in his own childhood ), so he is just jelous. And what's more there is this reason that he should start raising you as a man, and tell you mens things when you were young, and threat you like a man, which is somehow violent, thats how you grow your character. Now you're 21 and you will have to do many things raising yourself on your own, as the life will require.
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On March 14 2011 17:32 red4ce wrote:
Dude, you're 21 and complaining about your parents? Just move out if it's so bad at home.
QFT
Man, you a legal adult in every(?) country int he world. You'll do ok in life...
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I agree with everyone else. Judging from your post, it sounds like you don't do anything around the house to help out, yet you are complaining about him. I'm sure if most people here had a son your age and he wasnt doing anything they would give him an ultimatum to either get a job and start doing things around the house, or get out.
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I've read through most of the comments and its really refreshing. That's why I love this community...seems so mature. Anyways, I agree with most of you. Dude, you should really stop to think about your life objectively. It can be hard but you can't blame your father for everything. It looks to me that you are 21 but are acting like a teenager. You need to grow up.
PS: Damn...now back to LR and other random threads.
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in the time it took you to wrote this blog you could of taken down the cutlery.
theres nothing wrong with beating your kids , if you think otherwise and no offence you're probably a white dude, ive only heard white people complain about it, and yet the rest of the world is fine with it (from what i know).
if you eat pizzas all the time, use your hand (1 problem solved)
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I thought this blog was a joke when I first read it. There's nothing wrong with hitting your own kid, it's called teaching them a lesson. If they do something they shouldn't (or they're not doing something they should) then that's a way you teach them that they should do what they're told. A lot of people I know and myself have been hit by our parents, it's called parenting.
For example, a kid thinks it's funny to break a lamp. His dad hits him and says it's wrong to do that. The kid stops breaking shit because he'll get hit if he keeps doing it, and he learns that you shouldn't do that. Problem solved.
I think you should just put the cutlery in the sink and stop being a lazy brat.
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LOL i wonder if this was the response from the community he was expecting. Little baby is probably crying in the corner somewhere.
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I see we have a combination of a guy who won't pick up 15 plates in his room and people who think beating kids is acceptable.
Hmm... not surprised at how this turned out.
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On March 15 2011 09:06 Romantic wrote:
I see we have a combination of a guy who won't pick up 15 plates in his room and people who think beating kids is acceptable.
Hmm... not surprised at how this turned out.
I'd hardly call it beating. "owwww my dad hit me in the THIGH" LOL the fucking thigh, get over it. "owww it hurts when I walk"
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On March 15 2011 09:06 Romantic wrote:
I see we have a combination of a guy who won't pick up 15 plates in his room and people who think beating kids is acceptable.
Hmm... not surprised at how this turned out.
A punch in the thigh is alot different than a beating though. I'd be willing to bet a spanking hurt worse, certainly a belt spanking.
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On March 15 2011 09:06 Romantic wrote:
I see we have a combination of a guy who won't pick up 15 plates in his room and people who think beating kids is acceptable.
Hmm... not surprised at how this turned out.
I don't know where you're getting "kid" from. He's 21. He's an adult. If you can't take a punch in the thigh as an adult without a bit of a cry, especially when you're intentionally being as much of a cockbag as the OP is, you're pathetic.
a beating is multiple repeated attacks, perhaps repeated more than once over a period of days, causing serious or at least noticeable injury.
A punch in the thigh? i've had worse hits from my mates when we're hanging around and joking with each other.
yeah his father overall shouldn't have lost his temper but one punch on the thigh is actually a pretty big UNDER-reaction to what this little dickhead is doing, after everything his dad already has to deal with in his life.
At first I was thinking this was some epic troll, but a troll would have stuck around to continue posting and fanning the flames, but the OP hasn't come back, so I'm pretty sure he's just butthurt that we haven't all been "YEAH FUCK PARENTS LOL" like him.
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On March 15 2011 00:04 kidleader wrote:
Does make me laugh how much anti-video game/video games are for children talk we get in the blog section of this dedicated Starcraft community.
Its not so much that we're being anti videogame, or "videogames are for kids", we're simply mature about them.
Many of us, in our childhood, may well have been of the opinion that we wanted to work in the videogame industry, and that the best way to do that was by playing videogames as much as possible damnit and mum i know what im doing
But as you grow up, you realise videogames are just a hobby. An extremely fun hobby, one of the most interactive and accessible ones there is, but at the end of the day just a hobby nonetheless, and we rightly look down on those who sit at home all day with no job just playing videogames when they're over the age of about 18.
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So after seeing a much deserved lack of sympathy, I want to point out a definition to you. I'm positive that you won't use it correctly, but it's something you'll be able to identify with. As a criminal justice major I'd like to define to you the age of majority.
The age of majority varies state by state, country by country. The age of majority is to define when you are no longer an infant. Infant is defined as any person who has not matured to a level in life where they can be held responsible as an adult.
You, my friend, are an infant. By law, by social judgment, and I'm pretty sure by life itself, you are an infant. You are a pompous, insecure 21 year old who lacks motivation and still feels a need to be comforted and supported by his parents, by whom you pawn all of your failures off on.
I am not trolling, these are facts and what I've taken from you and your bruised thigh blog.
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Probably reading all these comments will just anger you and make you feel more self righteous.
But maybe after reflecting when your anger has cooled down, you'll realize the need to grow up (you're 21, not 7) and get your shit together (bring down cutlery, get a job, maybe help clean up the house for once?).
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thank god im not the only one who thinks the op is spoiled.
you actively realize your problems like laziness. instead of solving your problems, you blame it on the a a a a a alcohol people who raised you. grow up plz.
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solution: be the bigger person
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Here's another lesson: TL is just about the worst place to fish to undeserved sympathy. Much respect to the community.
A punch in the thigh is not a "beating", and physical punishments, imo, is not a problem unless it's unjustified. Move out if you have a problem with your father.
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Yes, playing videogames is wasted time.
Here is what i would do,
cut contact with your family, move out, get a job and get a solid degree while working.
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If you're a troll then please ignore this, if you're real and certain in your beliefs please heed my advice:
Join the Military
Listen man, I'm going to cut to the chase; long story short:
1.) You get out of the house (away from your Dad and soon to be ex-stepmother)
2.) You get housed somewhere
3.) You get free meals
4.) You get paid
5.) You probably get some form of benefits/discounts when you return back to civilian life (I'm not sure how the Swedish Military works, you probably understand it better)
6.) You'll acquire a better work ethic
7.) Motivation for future goals may come
If you really want me to draw it out and explain it to you word-for-word PM me and I'll be more than happy to do this for you.
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Nothing will make you understand your parents more than getting away from them for a few years. Get out of that situation and maybe both you and your father will get some perspective.
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Wow OP. I'm 14 approaching 15 and I treat my parents better than this. Honestly man, I think YOU need to grow up, you're living under their roof, it's not yours.
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Oh my god OP, that sounds really bad. I feel for you. What do these TL'ers know about your life and your shitty dad? Everyone saying it was justified that your dad hit your thigh. Those arrogant bastards.
Man... shame to your dad for threatening to take YOUR computer away and hitting your thigh. Seriously, hitting your child? Who does that nowadays? Man, everyone is so old-fashioned. I'm with you 100% on this OP. No matter WHAT it is you did, be it leaving old pizza boxes and cutlery in your room for weeks or playing video games all day in his house when you're 21, you don't deserve that kind of attitude from him. This obviously is all your dad's fault for being shitty at raising you.
OP HWAITING!
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i won't type a long, drawn-out post because everything i'd like to say has already been touched on previously in the thread
basically; grow the fuck up
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The responses in this thread would be less brutal if they weren't so correct.
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Man theres so much shit i could say in this topic to both the OP and half the idiots in this thread, but I'll give the OP the simplest answer possible: just move the fuck out.
I moved out at the start of last month and so far, I'm MUCH happier living by myself / with housemates. Yeah, my relationship with my parents isn't really that much better, I'm just avoiding the problem but atleast I'm living my life the way i fucking want. OP, you seem like you have a shitty relationship with your family yet you expect to be treated like a king. Youre fucking 21.
I'm turning 18 in 11 days and I dont live with my parents because I've got half a rat's brain to know what's better for them and for me. Frankly, I'm surprised your dad didn't kick you out or you didn't just leave.
User was warned for this post
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Russian Federation3631 Posts
There is never a reason to hit your kid, and this isn't the first time he has been violent to exude his dominance. He has threatened to hit me hundreds of times and he hit my mother several times, another thing you never have the right to do, regardless of what they are doing.
In retrospect (as a indepent-ish adult) I appreciate the fact that my parents were trying to act like parents, not like friends. As that is the way it should be.
Frankly, without accepting the fact that you are at fault for what you do, you will likely remain bitter and unaccomplished.
He also threatened to take away my computer, which is pretty funny to me.
I starkly remember getting grounded from the computer for a month in my childhood (I still remember why).
So are my parents guilty of some horrible child abuse?
Still hurt and it was done in a fit of rage from my father. But in what universe is it acceptable to you as a parent to hit your child regardless of what they have done? It is never acceptable to hit anyone, full stop.
In general, yes.
In most cases (read: here), its an extreme response to something you did wrong.
It's who I am, and unfortunately it's parental fail on his part because he didn't teach me differently.
Holy fucking shit.
Really?
No.
Just...no.
I'm really not sure whether to go with this if you honestly believe this.
His favorite thing to say in order to mock my hobby is "Video gaming is time wasted awaiting death."
There is a great amount of truth in that. Maybe your grades aren't completely a function of your fucked up life situation, and perhaps due to time management decisions?
Great parenting, telling me how I'm wasting my life away.
That's what a good parent does, unless you think its better for him to wait until you've fucked your life up over an irrational dream?
Does he not realize just how much you can do in the gaming community, or in the video game industry?
And I could hit the lottery, or get into the NBA...have you thought about a backup plan in case you don't "make it"?
I have maybe 10-15 knives and forks in pizza cartons right now as I type this, and he came storming down today screaming there were no knives and forks left, where are they?
Am I supposed to understand that you have the cutlery with you as you're typing this, and yet you'd rather write an internet blog instead of actually cleaning up?
Certain words come to mind, none charitable.
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get a damn job or get into school. when you're a 21 year old living with parents, not even going to school, you're supposed to be on supremely good behavior (the cost of free rent + food)
OP HWAITING!
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On March 15 2011 10:37 Gatsbi wrote:Show nested quote +On March 15 2011 09:06 Romantic wrote:
I see we have a combination of a guy who won't pick up 15 plates in his room and people who think beating kids is acceptable.
Hmm... not surprised at how this turned out. I'd hardly call it beating. "owwww my dad hit me in the THIGH" LOL the fucking thigh, get over it. "owww it hurts when I walk"
Was I specifically referring to the OP? No.
People posted before me saying hitting kids in general was fine. Way to get to excited all three of you who quoted me and assumed I was referring to the OP.
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This blog is basically 7 pages of people insulting the OP.
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On March 15 2011 18:20 Loanshark wrote:
This blog is basically 7 pages of people insulting the OP.
And 99% of it was totally deserved.
I leave out the 1% incase someone said something I didn't quite catch.
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i abstained from posting here previously, but i can't believe the op, this smells too hard of something a dad would write to show his deadbeat kid the community reactions to his wastefulness. maybe ?
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You know, you'd be pretty surprised to hear stuff like that are pretty common among Filipino families.
I've been beaten with stuff like pots, pans, belt buckles, even bamboo sticks.
I grew up to be pretty close to my Dad though, and I learned to appreciate the stuff he did in the past.
It's extremely different in the American setting, so I can say little to help you out.
Maybe I made you feel better by even a tiny bit?
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On March 15 2011 22:55 anatem wrote:i abstained from posting here previously, but i can't believe the op, this smells too hard of something a dad would write to show his deadbeat kid the community reactions to his wastefulness. maybe ?
Haha, i was thinking the same thing, this is just so hard to believe.
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Okay first off, I completely agree with your opinion on your dad hitting you. It it not acceptable and Im surprised by the liberal view on this matter here on TL. Maybe it’s a culture thing. That being said, you are ridiculously immature. If you are unhappy with your life, then do something about it. I made a list since you seem to lack creativity:
Short term solutions:
1. Talk with your father
Tell him that he went to far when he hit you. He is probably feeling bad about it already and even if he is not, you have made it clear that you dont tolerate it. Then tell him that you are going to completely change your attitude and be more helpful in the future.
2. Completely change your attitude and be more helpful
It isn’t your parents fault that you are lazy. If you are living in his house you should be able to follow simple rules such as not piling up knifes and forks in your room. If it is impossible for you to remember to bring knifes to the dishwasher I suggest that you eat in the kitchen. You could also start making dinner once a week, do your own laundry and help your brother with homework etc. This is not too much to ask and it will probably take some pressure off your dad and hopefully create a better relation with your family.
3. Stay away from home
Why are you spending so much time in a house that drives you mad? Spend some time with friends, pick up other hobbies than SC2 or start working out. You will feel better if you do stuff and there will be less conflicts when you are not constantly around your family.
Long term solutions:
The short term solutions are just ways of making your life bearable. Your long term goal is to get out of the house permanently. Do either of the two following things:
1. Go to university
Figure out what you want to do in life. If your grades are OK, start studying in Uppsala or Lund. This will increase the distance from your family (assuming your family don’t actually live there) and it is easy to get apartments in these towns. If your grades are shitty, do Högskoleprovet. It shouldn’t be that hard to get a decent score when your father is a genius who almost qualifies for MENSA.
2. Get a job
If you don’t want to study, you should get a job. Send your resume to Poolia etc. and take a shitty job in the meantime. If you havnt written a CV before, get someone to help you. Then move out. If you are living in Stockholm I suggest that you move in with a friend or get a girlfriend with an apartment (since the apartments in Stockholm are very expensive). If you don’t live in Stockholm you should have no problem getting a place of your own.
There you go – a complete guide on how to improve your life situation. You are welcome.
Edit: spelling
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Just go to school. Seriously, getting good grades in school is probably the easiest way to becoming successful in life dude. Get good grades in high school, and you can get a full ride to your state college.
And its not hard to balance videogames and study. I was addicted to sc2 last semester and I still was able to get a 4.0. Its just a matter of knowing when to stop playing for a day or two to study for a big test. Balance is key.
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if you can, move out. let your dad live his life the way he wants to and if that includes getting a woman pregnant, then so be it. he'll learn to respect you when you get a job, get a family, and provide for yourself.
also, he hit you once. if he keeps beating you, it may be a problem. however, just because he hit you once doesn't make him the worst parent in the world.
take a breather and get away from everything for a bit.
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Look man, I sympathize with you. However, you're 21, and still living at home. You admit you're lazy, but rather than dealing with it you blame your parents. this may be their fault initially, but it's not their fault you're still that way. I used to be lazy too, the only thing stopping you from getting out and doing shit is you. Stop being lazy, go back to school (which you shouldn't be blaming on anyone else either) or get a job. Hell, if you say that living there is what's preventing you from getting better, you should change your outlook. Use your desire to get out to motivate you to do well. He says videogames are a waste of time. While I obviously disagree with that, if you're playing while not going to school or having a job (don't know if you do), he's right. You should be getting your shit together rather than playing starcraft.
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Oh not the thigh, NOT THE THIGHH
Wow how spoiled are kids these days? You got slapped in the thigh for being a bum. Stop whining and being absorbed in the idea that you were severely wronged that your dad hit your thigh.
And also video games are a waste of time, a fun one, but still a waste of time. Yes there are progamers and gaming developers, but you're neither. What have you accomplished in the gaming industry? That's right you just played shitload of video games like Starcraft. Is it wrong for a father to want his son to do more then play excessive video games? You complain about bad parenting, but when it comes between your convenience, you blame your father for being a "bad parent"
You come complain about your dad who probably works his ass off to put food on your table and a
roof over your head (you should get your own roof)
It's who I am, and unfortunately it's parental fail on his part because he didn't teach me differently.
It's called self improvement, you maudlin self pitying little prick (I have no respect for those who calls their dad a pieces of shit openly for such petty reason). You are a lazy disappointment, and I feel sorry for your father for having such a self absorbed miserable son. You can't study enough to get into a university? People have gotten into much better schools from much worse environments. You're a failure, stop blaming others.
Am i seriously the only on TL who raged at OP reading this?
p.s. Hey OP, I would kick your ass too if i were your father
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You need a dose of reality. Everything you've said speaks to the fact that you've lived a sheltered life and just don't get it. Yes, that's a failure on your father's part (in part, anyway). It doesn't matter. You need to fix your life.
What are you plans, sit around for the rest of your life and blame your parents for how they raised you? If you see the problem, fix it. Move on. We all have our crosses to bare, you aren't special. Honestly, given what some children live through, the fact that you're whining about your situation, which it sounds like is mostly your fault, is beyond pathetic.
Sorry to be harsh, but you need it.
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Guys I'm sure he stopped reading after like the second page or whatever, it wasn't the replies he was expecting LOL. This thread is pretty much done
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Jesus, you really need to stop with the self-pity. Plenty of people got hit in the head when they were kids, you're 21 and you got slapped on the thigh ...
Regardless of your parents' upbringing, it obviously isn't an excuse to sit on your ass and blame other people for who you are. Your parents are people just like you, you seem to realise you're not perfect, so why do you expect them to be?
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holy cow you literally need to get out of your parents basement and grow up
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On March 15 2011 21:57 adso wrote:Some people have tried to contribute: 1/He might need help and telling him to "just grow up" "do it" "man up" "you a wuss" "you a fu..D up kid..." in the tl "me bash the kid too" "me big boy all grown up" "me like bashing" "me completely ignore op just read other bashing post= jealous, going to bash hmmmm" is not gonna help much 2/He needs to get a grip (we all agree on that) 3/Loads of posters.. and ..he, need to KNOW that violence is wrong! His op ( + Show Spoiler +once again, op seems like a troll.!.?.;p ) seems a triggered event caused by physical anguish = shock... try it sometime and you'll remember how it feels and look upon it differently Anyone saying that beating your kid is unavoidable ...  must feel resentment from your own life experience or something We are mammals and we resort to physical violence = fact! No one should ever advertise, advocate or even say that it is acceptable to do so = fact!!! glhf with kid bashing (yes at 21 you're not suppose to be a kid anymore... who's arguing? ...But it happens more and more and KIDS need advice and guidance, not F...k you and certainly not violence... the proper response would probably be more along the lines of: "get a job" "see how hard life is" "good luck, it's hard growing up and getting your shit together" etc... anyway )
So say you had 2 sons about 5 years apart. The oldest son becomes jealous of the younger son, and acts violently towards him. He attacks him and makes his life miserable every day. What if you catch him in the act and he doesn't listen to your requests that he stop? How would you handle the situation?
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EPT
