OUCH, That's my heart you just crushed, dear :'( - Page 2

Murderotica

Vatican City State2594 Posts

March 08 2011 14:00 GMT

#21

If you love someone you have to set them free.

Then after a while, try to be friends. That will be a foundation for anything that may come after. It might, but it also might not. But treating this as an adult is the best option you have of getting her back, because you are both adults. Trying to win her back immediately is showing that you don't fully understand her situation. You are being guided by your emotions which are not sufficient anymore. You need to work with your mind and do something that your heart might be telling you is wrong, and that is to maybe have one final talk with her to try to understand (preface this by saying that you are not going to plead for her to come back, you just want to better understand and know how to improve on yourself, this will in turn make you seem more mature and she might be more open to being a close friend after this, because a long relationship is a terrible thing to throw away completely), and then let her go.

Best of luck.

QuanticHawk

United States32026 Posts

March 08 2011 14:30 GMT

#22

On March 08 2011 19:13 Beyonder wrote:
The question is, why did she break it off? And can these things be changed?

Just be up front with her so she knows what you want, and make sure that she knows why things happened as they did and why it would be different in the future. Do not stalk her too much, it should be enough for her to know what your intensions are. If it's right, she'll come back.. if you push it too much without giving her some time to think, it will backfire and ruin your chances. Letters work awesome

pretty much all you can do homeslice

at 30, i doubt she wanted to hear that you wanna wait a little longer so you can get your career together. Even though most women have the same aspirations as you now, women typically don't see that as a legit reason to not get wed! That's more of a male thing... I have a lot of friends who ran into the same issue

Q.E.D.

Germany134 Posts

March 08 2011 15:20 GMT

#23

On March 08 2011 23:00 Murderotica wrote:
If you love someone you have to set them free.

Then after a while, try to be friends. That will be a foundation for anything that may come after. It might, but it also might not. But treating this as an adult is the best option you have of getting her back, because you are both adults. Trying to win her back immediately is showing that you don't fully understand her situation. You are being guided by your emotions which are not sufficient anymore. You need to work with your mind and do something that your heart might be telling you is wrong, and that is to maybe have one final talk with her to try to understand (preface this by saying that you are not going to plead for her to come back, you just want to better understand and know how to improve on yourself, this will in turn make you seem more mature and she might be more open to being a close friend after this, because a long relationship is a terrible thing to throw away completely), and then let her go.

Best of luck.

On March 08 2011 22:47 fearus wrote:
To win her back you need 2 things to happen. Only if both of these happen then you MIGHT have a chance of getting her back.

1.) You need to change, obviously at your current state you are not what she wants/needs in her life right now.
2.) She cannot find [greater] happiness with another man.

I think what you are currently doing is on the right track, maybe even a longer break would be better.

Best of luck and keep us updated.

to all well wishers, especially in germany, WHEN i get her back, bottomless beer party at my house. all are invited!!!

Q.E.D.

Germany134 Posts

March 08 2011 15:31 GMT

#24

MODS could i ask a favor, could we transfer this to General Forum, for more people to see and reply. even only for a day. 2 pages and i doubt anyone old enough has responded. just a little favor.
my heartfelt thanks

Murderotica

Vatican City State2594 Posts

March 08 2011 15:49 GMT

#25

On March 09 2011 00:31 Q.E.D. wrote:
MODS could i ask a favor, could we transfer this to General Forum, for more people to see and reply. even only for a day. 2 pages and i doubt anyone old enough has responded. just a little favor.
my heartfelt thanks

Unfortunately this is almost quintessential blog material. I'm not speaking for the mods here but I think this belongs where it is. Age is relative. If this was your first serious relationship, you might be 'younger' (less experienced) than someone who is younger than you but had more. You have to be open to all opinions not just from people older than you/your age, because there can be value in any perspective on the situation. The best course is often the amalgamate of many opinions.

Sleight

2471 Posts

March 08 2011 16:57 GMT

#26

Hey man,

My heat goes out to you. In November the girl I was planning on spending my life with had a freak out about committment and cut contact completely. Didnt hear one word until 3 days ago actually.

What did I do? I sent her a few emails here and there keeping her up on what I was doing. I sent a picture here and there of my dog. I let it be easy for her to kinda be involved in my life without having to do anything. Hopefully anyone you love is reasonable and won't act excessively stupidly. She thought about the things I said and us and at long last she finally contacted me.

We aren't back to old form. I am going to have to get lucky to get her to want to be with me like that again. But we still love each other and we still are trying to figure it out. Who knows if it will work.

If you really love her... you are going to have to set your sights on just helping her be happy first, I think. And she will come back to you if you give her the shot. But you've got to put her first until she is ready to come to terms with her feelings for you.

Best of luck!

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