• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EST 19:36
CET 01:36
KST 09:36
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
Master's Coliseum 8 - Group B: MaxPax, Reynor, Rogue, SKillous2Master's Coliseum 8 - Group A: Serral, SHIN, Astrea, Cure7GuMiho wins HomeStory Cup 2612HomeStory Cup 26 - Info and Preview14[SSL Autumn] Finals Recap: The Bill12
Community News
Weekly Cups (Dec 16-22): Protoss* Sweep6soO retires27Weekly Cups (Dec 9-15): herO, MaxPax, Clem, Dark split the spoils3[Interview] Grrrr... 202426Weekly Cup Results (Dec 2-8): Protoss sweep cup trio5
StarCraft 2
General
Ursa Brawl Boxing Day Festival - 26 December soO retires Annual "is EPT/GSL over?" thread - (Answer: We Don't Know) The Grack before Christmas Weekly Cups (Dec 16-22): Protoss* Sweep
Tourneys
WardiTV Christmas Invitational 2024 $15,000 Master's Coliseum #8 - (Dec 14-Jan 19) Master Swan Open (Global Bronze-Master 2) SOOPer7s #24 - Ryung vs SHIN SOOP Starcraft Global #9
Strategy
Simple Questions Simple Answers
Custom Maps
Simple Questions/Answers Mod: Observer PlusPlus Cyclone Observer PlusPlus Cyclone
External Content
Mutation # 453 The Ultimate Price Mutation # 452 Rumble in the Jungle Mutation # 451 Violent Night Mutation # 450 Survival of the Fittest
Brood War
General
Strudel has proven that P is harder than Z BGH auto balance -> http://bghmmr.com/ New SSL2 Candidate maps~ Why protoss always underperforms on pro level? SC:BW vods in english with crazy russian accent :)
Tourneys
Defiler tour #91! [BSL19] Grand Finals - Sunday 18:30 CET [BSL19] LB Finals - Sunday 18:30 CET [Megathread] Daily Proleagues
Strategy
[G] Mineral Boosting Good army compositions for zerg vs mech? Does mech work very well in TvZ below pro level? Fighting Spirit mining rates
Other Games
General Games
Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Path of Exile List of Game Threads Battle Aces/David Kim RTS Megathread Nintendo Switch Thread
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
WORLDS 2024 Tell me someone about the MMR system in LoL What do you think of the animated series Arcane?
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers
Hearthstone
Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Community Thread
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread Vape Nation Thread Elon Musk's lies, propaganda, etc. The Games Industry And ATVI
Fan Clubs
fOrGG/Fin Fan Club Serral Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
Anime Discussion Thread [Manga] One Piece [Books] Epic-Fantasy series discussion thread Korean Music Discussion
Sports
2024 - 2025 Football Thread TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023 NBA General Discussion Formula 1 Discussion
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Simple Questions Simple Answers
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
I made a Card Game (Deck …
LUCKY_NOOB
How Thinking Styles Impact T…
TrAiDoS
Aizen's message from the…
sosukeAiZEN
Inconsistent DPS? can som…
StaticNine
Crime in Fribourg!
Nebuchad
Eight Anniversary as a TL…
Mizenhauer
Day5 match report InfiniteC…
Freeedom
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 2558 users

There's something about life...

Blogs > Chef
Post a Reply
1 2 3 Next All
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
August 12 2009 07:15 GMT
#1
So I was playing Risk, the board game of global domination with 4 of my friends. We're all sitting on the floor on opposite sides of the board and one of my friend's feet hit a soda can causing it to spill on the carpet. Yesterday this happened too. The guy who's room it is, a friend of a friend who I've met 3 or 4 times before, was looking for a tissue. He couldn't really find one, so he's asking everyone to look around them for a paper towel or something to clean it up. No one is saying anything and I'm looking around and I see on his nightstand a couple used tissues. I figure since shit is always being spilt on his floor, that must be what they're there for. I pick one up one or two and hand them to him. Yup. They were his jizz tissues. His fucking dried up used old jizz tissues that he left on his nightstand. Jizz. Tissues.

I put them back and went to the washroom to clean my hands. I stepped in the spilt soda. "Fuck, you might as well use my sock to clean it up." I take off my sock and throw it to him. Jizz tissues.

+ Show Spoiler +
Seriously, old jizz tissues. Gross. Who does that? Why? Could be a little more sanitary, please.


*****
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
Lemonwalrus
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States5465 Posts
August 12 2009 07:17 GMT
#2
Jizz tissues.
Fontong
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United States6454 Posts
August 12 2009 07:17 GMT
#3
Oh mannnnnnnnnnn

LOL
[ＳＥＣＲＥＴ ＦＯＮＴ] "Dragoon bunker"
Torenhire
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States11681 Posts
August 12 2009 07:22 GMT
#4
... Jizz tissues.
SirJolt: Well maybe if you weren't so big and stupid, it wouldn't have hit you.
ghermination
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
United States2851 Posts
August 12 2009 07:23 GMT
#5
if he had a girlfriend he wouldn't need a tissue. Therefore set your friend up on a blind date.
U Gotta Skate.
paper
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
13196 Posts
August 12 2009 07:29 GMT
#6
jizzues imo
Hates Fun🤔
Deleted User 31060
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
3788 Posts
August 12 2009 07:36 GMT
#7
what?

he doesn't jizz in his pants like the rest of us?
Peaked at C- on ICCUP and proud of it! @Sunyveil
BanZu
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States3329 Posts
August 12 2009 07:37 GMT
#8
That is all bad...
Sun Tzu once said, "Defiler becomes useless at the presences of a vessel."
Hyde
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
Australia14568 Posts
August 12 2009 07:45 GMT
#9
LOL ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Imagine if it wasn't dried up haha
Because when you left, Brood War was all spotlights and titans. Now, with the death of the big leagues, Brood War has moved to the basements and carparks. Now, Brood War is unlicensed brawls, lost teeth, and bloody fights for fistfulls of money - SirJolt
OmgIRok
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Taiwan2699 Posts
August 12 2009 07:49 GMT
#10
how can you tell? please teach me
"Wanna join my [combo] clan?" "We play turret d competitively"
EvilTeletubby
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
Baltimore, USA22247 Posts
August 12 2009 07:50 GMT
#11
Well, that's life man, it jizz what it jizz.
Moderatorhttp://carbonleaf.yuku.com/topic/408/t/So-I-proposed-at-a-Carbon-Leaf-concert.html ***** RIP Geoff
Cambium
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
United States16368 Posts
August 12 2009 07:51 GMT
#12
more pun plz ett
When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.
jello_biafra
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
United Kingdom6632 Posts
August 12 2009 07:52 GMT
#13
lol ETT

Eww bad luck man...did he actually use your sock to clean the stuff up? :O
The road to hell is paved with good intentions | aka Probert[PaiN] @ iccup / godlikeparagon @ twitch | my BW stream: http://www.teamliquid.net/video/streams/jello_biafra
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
August 12 2009 07:55 GMT
#14
Yes. I brought him back toilet paper in case he didn't, but when I saw that he did, I just handed it to him and said "Here, some for next time."
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
29 fps
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States5718 Posts
August 12 2009 07:57 GMT
#15
you gave him a sock. now he has a jizz sock instead.
4v4 is a battle of who has the better computer.
Mah Buckit!
Profile Joined April 2009
Finland474 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-08-12 08:07:03
August 12 2009 07:57 GMT
#16
Were they Wank Wipes *tm?

[image loading]
Starcraft? Epic Grimness.
saritenite
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Singapore1680 Posts
August 12 2009 07:59 GMT
#17
Makes an interesting story to tell your friend's kids/girlfriend/wife.

Awesome blackmail material
fnaticNoname
Profile Joined January 2008
India858 Posts
August 12 2009 08:02 GMT
#18
Haha, what the heck...
KurtistheTurtle
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States1966 Posts
August 12 2009 08:34 GMT
#19
those jizzues were to clean up his spills
“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears."
JohnColtrane
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Australia4813 Posts
August 12 2009 08:37 GMT
#20
On August 12 2009 16:59 sArite_nite wrote:
Makes an interesting story to tell your friend's kids/girlfriend/wife.

Awesome blackmail material


you can blackmail someone with jizz tissues? =/
HEY MEYT
1 2 3 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Next event in 8h 24m
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
PiGStarcraft737
StarCraft: Brood War
Artosis1090
MaD[AoV]40
LancerX 26
Dota 2
LuMiX1
Counter-Strike
Stewie2K1085
Heroes of the Storm
Khaldor324
Other Games
summit1g15036
Grubby6650
Liquid`RaSZi1876
fl0m1019
Dendi988
C9.Mang0558
ToD224
JimRising 142
trigger1
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick927
StarCraft 2
ESL.tv179
Other Games
BasetradeTV38
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
[ Show 17 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• RyuSc2 54
• HeavenSC 43
• Adnapsc2 32
• IndyKCrew
• Migwel
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• sooper7s
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Laughngamez YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
• BSLYoutube
Dota 2
• Ler141
Other Games
• imaqtpie3482
• Shiphtur594
Upcoming Events
Replay Cast
8h 24m
Online Event
16h 24m
Replay Cast
23h 24m
Master's Coliseum
1d 11h
Maru vs Lancer
herO vs Lancer
GuMiho vs herO
Korean StarCraft League
2 days
Master's Coliseum
2 days
Maru vs GuMiho
Lancer vs GuMiho
herO vs Maru
CranKy Ducklings
3 days
Defiler Tour
3 days
CranKy Ducklings
5 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

BSL Season 19
HSC XXVI
Bitka W Nexusie

Ongoing

KCM Race Survival 2024 Season 5
StarCastTV International League 5
Top Gun of StarCraft Season2
CSL 15: 2024 Winter
Master's Coliseum 8
PW Shanghai Major 2024
ESL Impact League Season 6
Shanghai Major: EU RMR B
Shanghai Major: EU RMR A
Shanghai Major: AMER RMR
BLAST Premier World Final
Thunderpick World Champ.
ESL Challenger Katowice '24
Elisa Masters Espoo 2024
RES Regional Champions
IEM Rio 2024

Upcoming

Platinum Anchor Qualifying S3
HSC XXVII
Bellum Gens Elite Stara Zagora 2025
LiuLi Cup: 2024 Grand Finals
OSC Championship Season 12
ESL Pro League S21
Skyesports Souvenir 2025
PGL Cluj-Napoca 2025
IEM Katowice 2025
BLAST Bounty Spring 2025
ECL Season 49: Asia
ECL Season 49: South America
ECL Season 49: Europe
ECL Season 49: North America
ECL Season 49: Oceania
BLAST Bounty Spring Qual
YaLLa Compass Winter 2025
Launders LAN #2
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2024 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.