Pic by lonely
I hate you. I hate that it is so difficult for me to be with you. I hate the sad people whos lives are so pathetic that they have to spend their time ruining other people's lives. I wish them all a slow painfull death. I hate that I fell for you, because it hurts to think that I'm not gonna hold you and lay with you and share childish jokes or talk nose to nose while looking into each other eyes. I'm sad because I don't fall in love easily and when I for once do it's so damn hard.
I hate the society because you did this to me. Burn to ashes, world.
I hate everything that reminds me of you. I hate that when I see you again my heart is gonna skip a beat and you are gonna be nice to me. I hate that i'm gonna go around hoping for something that isnt. I hate that when I close my eyes you are the first thing waiting behind my eyelids. I hate that I opened myself for the first time since I can't even remember. I hate that I told everybody how I felt without restriction. I hate that I'm gonna cry again. I hate the thought of meeting someone else. I hate that I'm gonna forget and try all over again.
I hate the sympathy. I hate that instead of mocking and poking fun at me you are now all silent and talking behind me instead. I never cared what you thought, losers. I pity you because you will never dare to live. I hate how effortlessly you can change my world. I hate how you never try to game me yet do it at every turn. I hate how I'm still here writing about my feelings. I hate how I'm gonna go walking in the rain. I hate how I feel like a kicked puppy. I hate how I can't let go when I'm talking to you. I hate being powerless.
But most of all I hate that I don't hate you. That if I had the choice I would do everything over again. That despite you telling me that you can't I'm still hoping and trying to find a way. That I'm still putting myself out there. I hate that you are everything I want and that I can't have you. I hate myself.
I miss you.