The Adventures of Rock and Asshopper Part 6

Epishade

United States2267 Posts

February 07 2014 16:47 GMT

Is middle of night when Rock wake up. Fireflies buzzing around, leaving havoc and destruction in wake. Asshopper run out from grass but trip and break neck.

“Ow,” Asshopper say, but already dead because suicide pills! Rock see and cry.

“Asshopper, nooo!” Rock say, but too late for sad because is already midnight and tired, then sleep again.

But when Rock wake up, Asshopper missing! Only note is on doorstep. Rock try pick up note, but can’t because no arms today. Rock summon Squirrel to come bring for note, but Squirrel busy guarding nuts (and food too). Rock yell at Squirrel.

“Squirrel!” Rock yell. “Come bring note!”

“Who this?” Squirrel say because think talking over phone.

“Is Rock, and need help!” Rock say. Squirrel hang up after listening this. Rock call back but no pick up!

“Squirrel lazy!” Rock say, and bend over for read note instead for squirrel holding to face. Rock read note.

“Leaf bag of doller on front dorestep or Asshopper dead again! - Squirrel.” Rock gasp.

“Who could done this?” Rock say. But then remember is actually secret detective and can tell from handwriting is Squirrel’s work! Rock know how prove too, and yell at Squirrel.

“Hello?” Squirrel say when pick up.

“Want free dollar?” Rock say. Squirrel say yes.

“Rock trade dollar for Asshopper,” Rock say.

“Sounds like fair de…” Squirrel begin, but then think is trap! “Ohohoho,” Squirrel say. “Rock almost make admit I kidnap Asshopper.” He laugh. Squirrel smart, but Rock smarter!

“How about dollar for only half Asshopper!” Rock sweeten deal. Squirrel not resist this and show up with Asshopper on front doorstep.

“Hello Asshopper!” Rock say.

“Hello Rock! How you?” Asshopper say.

“Rock good,” Rock say. “And you?”

“Kidnapped!” Asshopper say, and all laugh.

Suddenly crazy neighbor Jeff open door for let new dog out. Only is not dog, is BOMB!

Squirrel panic and decide eat bomb because see on cartoons. But Rock see out of corner of eye Asshopper poison bomb before eat. Squirrel swallow bomb, but choke because bomb too big. Then Squirrel struck by lightning and hit by zamboni.

“Ow!” Squirrel says. Asshopper run free while distracted, but also hit by zamboni and dead. Rock yell at Squirrel while incapacitated.

“You under arrest!” Rock say. Squirrel not want be arrest though, and dig hole to China, but forget geography and end up on moon, where die because aliens attack! Asshopper wander over Rock.

“But Rock,” Asshopper say. “What for happen if Squirrel trade half of Asshopper for dollar?” Rock look up to Asshopper and laugh.

“Fake dollar!” Rock say, but Asshopper not amuse.