It was 7:17 when Jeff woke up this morning. The hidden cameras I installed in his room ensured me of this. I watched as he completed his morning routine and went out to work. Now that he was gone, it was time to begin! Something was a bit off though. One of my cameras had malfunctioned and started emitting a buzzing noise.
“What a bunch of shitty hidden cameras!” I thought. “I suppose that’s what I get for buying these off Ebay. ‘Like-new’ my ass!”
I decided that I had to fix this before the day was over. I couldn’t afford having Jeff figure out that he had hidden cameras installed in his bedroom...and bathroom...and kitchen, dining room, garage, attic, fireplace, closet etc. I got my toolbox and ran over to Jeff’s house next door. Unfortunately I lost my key to Jeff’s house the last time I was driving Jeff’s car. I had to find another way in. Fortunately I spotted something that only a halfwit like Jeff would leave around.
“That fake rock next to your door isn’t fooling anyone, Jeff”. I turned over the rock next to the front door and, sure enough, there it was. Nothing...
Oh well, plan B.
I took out some of my pre-signed sticky notes and wrote a nasty message for Jeff: “We dont liek u - Sincerely, John”. The intentional misspelling was sure to ward Jeff off my tracks had he suspected me of breaking in. I stuck the sticky note on Jeff’s fake rock and threw it through a window to climb through. It might have made more sense to throw it through a ground-floor window first, but hindsight is 20-20. Luckily Jeff’s front door was unlocked the entire time. I stepped in and made my way to Jeff’s bedroom where the camera had malfunctioned.
After replacing the batteries in the camera to stop the buzzing (who designs hidden cameras like this!!!), I decided that I should probably replace the other camera batteries too. I was about to exit Jeff’s room when something caught my eye. There was a door to a room that I hadn’t seen before.
“Better put a camera in there.”
I reached for the handle but the door was locked shut. Thanks to my days spent lockpicking in college though, I knew how to handle any lock. I grabbed my toolbox and emptied it on the floor. After a while spent searching through the porno magazines that fell out, I found my lock picking kit underneath. I pocketed it and broke off the door handle using my empty toolbox.
“Foolish Jeff” I said aloud. “Thinking you can keep me out with a simple lock?” I forced my way into Jeff’s secret room. A computer was turned on and illuminated me as I walked into the dark closet. It wasn’t a few seconds before I saw what was on the computer screen.
“Oh shit...” I started feeling nauseous. “Jeff...how could you?”
Jeff’s collection of homemade porno movies was laid out right in front of me. I dared to click on one titled “Day at the farm”. I immediately regretted it (those poor horses) and clicked out of the video into a file that had my name on it. I was admittedly a bit worried. What if Jeff had been drugging me all these years and making sex tapes? A live stream popped up when I clicked on the file. Every room of my house was on screen, including my secret room I use for spying on Jeff.
“Thank god Jeff's not raping me.” I breathed a sigh of relief.
Content with the day’s work, I cleaned up some of the damage I made to Jeff’s house and made my way home.
On August 03 2013 05:21 Epishade wrote: I took out some of my pre-signed sticky notes and wrote a nasty message for Jeff: “We dont liek u - Sincerely, John”. The intentional misspelling was sure to ward Jeff off my tracks had he suspected me of breaking in. I stuck the sticky note on Jeff’s fake rock and threw it through a window to climb through. It might have made more sense to throw it through a ground-floor window first, but hindsight is 20-20. Luckily Jeff’s front door was unlocked the entire time. I stepped in and made my way to Jeff’s bedroom where the camera had malfunctioned.
On August 03 2013 05:21 Epishade wrote: I took out some of my pre-signed sticky notes and wrote a nasty message for Jeff: “We dont liek u - Sincerely, John”. The intentional misspelling was sure to ward Jeff off my tracks had he suspected me of breaking in. I stuck the sticky note on Jeff’s fake rock and threw it through a window to climb through. It might have made more sense to throw it through a ground-floor window first, but hindsight is 20-20. Luckily Jeff’s front door was unlocked the entire time. I stepped in and made my way to Jeff’s bedroom where the camera had malfunctioned.
On August 03 2013 05:21 Epishade wrote: I took out some of my pre-signed sticky notes and wrote a nasty message for Jeff: “We dont liek u - Sincerely, John”. The intentional misspelling was sure to ward Jeff off my tracks had he suspected me of breaking in. I stuck the sticky note on Jeff’s fake rock and threw it through a window to climb through. It might have made more sense to throw it through a ground-floor window first, but hindsight is 20-20. Luckily Jeff’s front door was unlocked the entire time. I stepped in and made my way to Jeff’s bedroom where the camera had malfunctioned.
On August 03 2013 05:21 Epishade wrote: I took out some of my pre-signed sticky notes and wrote a nasty message for Jeff: “We dont liek u - Sincerely, John”. The intentional misspelling was sure to ward Jeff off my tracks had he suspected me of breaking in. I stuck the sticky note on Jeff’s fake rock and threw it through a window to climb through. It might have made more sense to throw it through a ground-floor window first, but hindsight is 20-20. Luckily Jeff’s front door was unlocked the entire time. I stepped in and made my way to Jeff’s bedroom where the camera had malfunctioned.
EPT
