|
I'm 27 years old. I'm a white American male. For the past three years I have been a victim of racial discrimination every single day of my life, and I am tired of it. This summer I am packing all my belongings and turning my back on the place I've called home since 2010.
I am an English teacher in rural Japan. Not the Japan with the bright lights, the big robots, and the beautiful girls. Not the "rural" Japan you might have seen if you've been outside of Tokyo to see temples or Mt. Fuji or the damage in Touhoku. No, not even the rural Japan that turns the most stalwart of Japanophiles into bitter shells of humanity. I live in the rural Japan beyond all of that, the Japan that has never heard of things like highways or public transportation, central heating or Windows 7. E-mail and the internet are as foreign to the people here as their langauge is to most Westerners. I live in a small town of about 10,000 that survives (I initially typed 'thrives' but that word would be sorely inappropriate here) on government subsidized agriculture and a dying fishing industry. I am one of three Westerners living in town, the others being another English teacher and his wife. After three years they remain the only friends I have here.
It honestly isn't that I haven't tried to make friends. I'm involved in sports clubs, English clubs and classes for all ages, and countless events throughout the year. I have studied Japanese nearly every day for the last three years to improve my ability to communicate. But despite being fluent in the language, attending all the events, taking part in the clubs, I still haven't made a single Japanese friend. To put it quite simply, I am not wanted here.
And now I sit here writing this because I'm tired, confused, and utterly depressed. I certainly don't have a shining personality and it would not be fair to say that none of the blame for this rests on me. What I truly wonder though is how much of it is me. I've tried and tried to adapt, to be understanding, to accept cultural differences and barriers, but ultimately the only thing that matters is the one thing that I cannot change. The fact that I am not one of them. I've slowly come to the painful realization that it does not matter how different or similar we may be, or how hard I try to prove I am just another guy trying to make a living like anyone else. To these people I will always be an outsider. In that respect it doesn't even matter whether I'm from America, China, or North Korea. I am different in a society that values homogenity over all else. Discrimination is so deep rooted into the culture and education here that trying to convince a single person that I'm really not that different is about as useful as trying to post this message with an etch-a-sketch. Leaving then, I feel, is the only chance I have to live a normal life.
In the last three years I've had to deal with an entire spectrum of discrimination. The "why is your nose so high?" and "why is your hair brown?" questions from kids, to outright verbal abuse and ridiculous accusations from the senile elderly (some here will have you believe that I personally was behind the bombings in Hiroshima and Nagasaki). From the endless stares to being endlessly ignored when I have the misfortune to need help with something. From being denied basic rights (apartments, cell phone contracts, etc.) despite holding valid residency, to being rejected by society because the color of my skin is too great a barrier to see past. This is what I live with day after day. This is the truth about Japan that no one ever wanted you to know.
I am not the first to write about racism or discrimination in Japan, nor do I make any claim to be. I simply wanted to share my own experiences with anyone who's willing to listen. I think people should know about this.
 
|
You're not the first person I know of to tell stories about this, but I'd point out that you might have a different experience in a more urban, cosmopolitan area. Obviously you've put a lot of your effort into trying to find a place there, so that might be something worthwhile to give a shot before you walk away completely.
Think about the difference between what a Japanese person would experience living in rural Mississippi as opposed to even a city like Atlanta, let alone New York or Los Angeles. To be clear, that's not a dig on Mississippi, but large cities are much more familiar with varied backgrounds no matter where you go in the world.
|
Well all I can say as an American military member stationed in japan my experience has been quite different. I am not trying to discredit you just showing that not every place is the same in Japan concerning the issues of rasicm and discrimination. Of course my experiences are quite a bit different dealing with primarily JSDF members and Japanese contractors. In other words having limited experience in the general Japanese population over an extended period of time. Just my 2 cents though.
|
That's really unfortunate. I guess what it comes down to is that people are different in every city, and especially back in the inaka you're a lot more likely to run into that sort of thing, as compared to living in a metropolitan area like Tokyo or Oosaka. Fact is, those people almost never meet foreigners and have a hard time grasping it. I bet if you were to move to a bigger city, even somewhere smaller than Tokyo, you would find the people much more welcoming.
I've had nothing but great experiences with Japanese people, and I've talked to a lot of people who have lived there for a long time. I spent some time in Kitakata in Fukushima, which was a town of roughly 60,000, and I was welcomed pretty readily and met a couple foreigners who lived there - one of whom had a Japanese wife and ran a ramen-ya. It sounds like your town just hasn't been exposed to foreign culture much at all, and you weren't able to integrate. That doesn't really represent all of Japan - just like a town that made someone feel uncomfortable to be black doesn't represent all of America. But yeah, you're not wrong either - in a place like that, you probably won't be able to "become one of them." It sucks.
I don't know why you phrased this so dramatically though, with stuff like "THE TRUTH ABOUT JAPAN" - most people know that Japan is relatively discriminatory and homogeneous. People like Debito go on and on about this.
|
Thank you for the replies.
I agree, the experience I've had here definitely isn't representative of all of Japan, but as one of the relatively smaller number of people that has spent an extended amount of time in somewhere as rural as this, I thought it might be valuable to share what it's like here. I lived in Tokyo for a year during university so I have some experience with the polar opposite side of Japan as well, and I had nothing but great experiences there. That was a big part of my motivation to come back to Japan after graduation, and although I tried to go into this with an open mind I honestly could not imagine how different life here would be. The analogy to Mississippi is a good one. Just to be clear I do not hate Japan or the Japanese people for what has happened to me here. Japan is and will remain a large part of my life and career. I think this kind of information is valuable for the people who come here with English teaching programs like JET or Interac though. It's easy to find countless blogs by people who came for a year without much Japanese language ability and had a blast in Osaka or Nagoya. People should know however that there's also a very real chance you'll end up in a situation like mine. That is certainly not to say there's no value to coming here, I do not regret my time here whatsoever. It's just important to see both sides of the coin.
|
Why not leave? Teach Japanese in the US?
|
The cases i know of of foreigners living/ visiting Japan and having negative experiences like you describe are always people that do not understand and thus respect the values and ways of life of the Japanese. Over the years there have been A LOOOOOOOT of foreigners (a lot of them Americans) that have acted less then respectfully and this gave foreigner a bad name. They are not racist, they just hate people that don't respect their way of life, etiquette, etc.
|
It is important to see both sides, but it certainly sounds a bit weird when you say "This is the truth about Japan that no one ever wanted you to know.". First of all, finding articles and opinions about xenophobia in Japan is extremely easy and they are usually greatly exaggerated, giving people a bad image of Japan and when I lived in Tokyo, there were a lot of people who saw racism where there was none simply because of their preconceptions following reading about xenophobia in Japan.
It's certainly true there's a bigger risk of racism in rural areas, and in some situations racism is quite common even in tokyo, such as finding apartments (you can easily be denied living in an area simply because you're not japanese) and finding a job (I was told "i needed to study more Japanese" when I applied for a job at mcdonalds in Tokyo, even though I had cleared JLPT3 with a 98% grade. At the same time, my korean classmate who was FAR worse at Japanese than me easily got a job at mcdonalds. It was simply because Japanese have a tendency to be discouraged when they see foreigners as cashiers etc, because they think they might be forced to use English).
Overall though, like you say yourself, if you're in a decently big town, you should have pretty much nothing but good experiences. Japanese are often very interested in foreigners and usually welcome them, as long as they aren't forced to speak English if they aren't confident in their ability.
|
On February 26 2013 20:12 Recognizable wrote:
Why not leave? Teach Japanese in the US?
Sorry if I didn't make this clear in the first post. I am moving back to America this summer. I'm going into another job involving Japanese but not in education 
On February 26 2013 20:30 Sapphire.lux wrote:
The cases i know of of foreigners living/ visiting Japan and having negative experiences like you describe are always people that do not understand and thus respect the values and ways of life of the Japanese. Over the years there have been A LOOOOOOOT of foreigners (a lot of them Americans) that have acted less then respectfully and this gave foreigner a bad name. They are not racist, they just hate people that don't respect their way of life, etiquette, etc.
I understand what you're saying but a few (or a lot as the case may be) people giving a group a bad name is not justification for discrimination. It's an extreme example but one could easily point to the hugely disproportionate amount of african americans in the US prison system and conclude that they're predisposed to being criminals and should all be locked up. This ignores countless critical factors and would obviously be blatant discrimination though, as would judging all foreigners based on past bad experiences. I don't believe there is ever justification for discrimination.
On February 26 2013 20:34 Tobberoth wrote:
It is important to see both sides, but it certainly sounds a bit weird when you say "This is the truth about Japan that no one ever wanted you to know.". First of all, finding articles and opinions about xenophobia in Japan is extremely easy and they are usually greatly exaggerated, giving people a bad image of Japan and when I lived in Tokyo, there were a lot of people who saw racism where there was none simply because of their preconceptions following reading about xenophobia in Japan.
It's certainly true there's a bigger risk of racism in rural areas, and in some situations racism is quite common even in tokyo, such as finding apartments (you can easily be denied living in an area simply because you're not japanese) and finding a job (I was told "i needed to study more Japanese" when I applied for a job at mcdonalds in Tokyo, even though I had cleared JLPT3 with a 98% grade. At the same time, my korean classmate who was FAR worse at Japanese than me easily got a job at mcdonalds. It was simply because Japanese have a tendency to be discouraged when they see foreigners as cashiers etc, because they think they might be forced to use English).
Overall though, like you say yourself, if you're in a decently big town, you should have pretty much nothing but good experiences. Japanese are often very interested in foreigners and usually welcome them, as long as they aren't forced to speak English if they aren't confident in their ability.
I apologize if my post comes across rather strong, there is definitely a lot of emotion and frustration behind what I'm typing. I do think there is a very real difference between the typical xenophobia which is sadly the norm for Japan and the experiences I've had though. I've tried to be at least somewhat objective; I absolutely acknowledge that my personality leaves a lot to be desired. I've also tried to keep an open heart and mind as much as possible though, and I've largely been met with a people that refuse to, or unable to, do the same.
|
@futility, in an ideal world you are right, no justification for discrimination. We live in the real world though.
BTW, i am Romanian, and often times people all over the globe confuse Romanians with gypsys. Like, we are not even the same race but there is still assumption and discrimination lol.
|
On February 26 2013 21:10 futility wrote:Show nested quote +On February 26 2013 20:12 Recognizable wrote:
Why not leave? Teach Japanese in the US? Sorry if I didn't make this clear in the first post. I am moving back to America this summer. I'm going into another job involving Japanese but not in education Show nested quote +On February 26 2013 20:30 Sapphire.lux wrote:
The cases i know of of foreigners living/ visiting Japan and having negative experiences like you describe are always people that do not understand and thus respect the values and ways of life of the Japanese. Over the years there have been A LOOOOOOOT of foreigners (a lot of them Americans) that have acted less then respectfully and this gave foreigner a bad name. They are not racist, they just hate people that don't respect their way of life, etiquette, etc. I understand what you're saying but a few (or a lot as the case may be) people giving a group a bad name is not justification for discrimination. It's an extreme example but one could easily point to the hugely disproportionate amount of african americans in the US prison system and conclude that they're predisposed to being criminals and should all be locked up. This ignores countless critical factors and would obviously be blatant discrimination though, as would judging all foreigners based on past bad experiences. I don't believe there is ever justification for discrimination. Show nested quote +On February 26 2013 20:34 Tobberoth wrote:
It is important to see both sides, but it certainly sounds a bit weird when you say "This is the truth about Japan that no one ever wanted you to know.". First of all, finding articles and opinions about xenophobia in Japan is extremely easy and they are usually greatly exaggerated, giving people a bad image of Japan and when I lived in Tokyo, there were a lot of people who saw racism where there was none simply because of their preconceptions following reading about xenophobia in Japan.
It's certainly true there's a bigger risk of racism in rural areas, and in some situations racism is quite common even in tokyo, such as finding apartments (you can easily be denied living in an area simply because you're not japanese) and finding a job (I was told "i needed to study more Japanese" when I applied for a job at mcdonalds in Tokyo, even though I had cleared JLPT3 with a 98% grade. At the same time, my korean classmate who was FAR worse at Japanese than me easily got a job at mcdonalds. It was simply because Japanese have a tendency to be discouraged when they see foreigners as cashiers etc, because they think they might be forced to use English).
Overall though, like you say yourself, if you're in a decently big town, you should have pretty much nothing but good experiences. Japanese are often very interested in foreigners and usually welcome them, as long as they aren't forced to speak English if they aren't confident in their ability. I apologize if my post comes across rather strong, there is definitely a lot of emotion and frustration behind what I'm typing. I do think there is a very real difference between the typical xenophobia which is sadly the norm for Japan and the experiences I've had though. I've tried to be at least somewhat objective; I absolutely acknowledge that my personality leaves a lot to be desired. I've also tried to keep an open heart and mind as much as possible though, and I've largely been met with a people that refuse to, or unable to, do the same.
You know, it's pretty much the same everywhere. As an obvious non-local you will always be disadvantaged in things like finding a job or renting an apartment, even in the most open-minded and multi-cultural communities; it's not just an Asian thing. Likewise, if you live in a small town on the fringe of civilization, you will experience racism and xenophobia, be it in China, Russia, or the US. Heck, you don't even have to have a different skin color and speak a different language for people to be suspicious and negative towards you in many small communities.
|
I've read and heard similar things when you go further away from the main cities, to countryside etc. But sounds strange that in such a "large" city (10,000 People), you are in a situation you say you are.
You already said that you are moving to US to work and so on, but did you ever try to move to another city to teach English and study Japanese while teaching? Or is it even that easy to just relocate?
By the way, may i ask what kind of job you have in US then, if not education? Good luck nevertheless! At least your three years wasn't completely bad/wasted, i'd say.
|
Do the other two white people you're friends with have other friends? You said you're not sure if it's just you that's responsible for your lack of friends, Japanese discrimination that's at fault, or something else - well if your other two white friends have other friends, maybe there's hope? Go out with them and their Japanese friends? It seems like you've made up your mind, which is probably entirely valid, I am just curious.
|
Maybe you're just weird and nobody likes you?
|
On February 26 2013 21:32 Salazarz wrote:Show nested quote +On February 26 2013 21:10 futility wrote:On February 26 2013 20:12 Recognizable wrote:
Why not leave? Teach Japanese in the US? Sorry if I didn't make this clear in the first post. I am moving back to America this summer. I'm going into another job involving Japanese but not in education On February 26 2013 20:30 Sapphire.lux wrote:
The cases i know of of foreigners living/ visiting Japan and having negative experiences like you describe are always people that do not understand and thus respect the values and ways of life of the Japanese. Over the years there have been A LOOOOOOOT of foreigners (a lot of them Americans) that have acted less then respectfully and this gave foreigner a bad name. They are not racist, they just hate people that don't respect their way of life, etiquette, etc. I understand what you're saying but a few (or a lot as the case may be) people giving a group a bad name is not justification for discrimination. It's an extreme example but one could easily point to the hugely disproportionate amount of african americans in the US prison system and conclude that they're predisposed to being criminals and should all be locked up. This ignores countless critical factors and would obviously be blatant discrimination though, as would judging all foreigners based on past bad experiences. I don't believe there is ever justification for discrimination. On February 26 2013 20:34 Tobberoth wrote:
It is important to see both sides, but it certainly sounds a bit weird when you say "This is the truth about Japan that no one ever wanted you to know.". First of all, finding articles and opinions about xenophobia in Japan is extremely easy and they are usually greatly exaggerated, giving people a bad image of Japan and when I lived in Tokyo, there were a lot of people who saw racism where there was none simply because of their preconceptions following reading about xenophobia in Japan.
It's certainly true there's a bigger risk of racism in rural areas, and in some situations racism is quite common even in tokyo, such as finding apartments (you can easily be denied living in an area simply because you're not japanese) and finding a job (I was told "i needed to study more Japanese" when I applied for a job at mcdonalds in Tokyo, even though I had cleared JLPT3 with a 98% grade. At the same time, my korean classmate who was FAR worse at Japanese than me easily got a job at mcdonalds. It was simply because Japanese have a tendency to be discouraged when they see foreigners as cashiers etc, because they think they might be forced to use English).
Overall though, like you say yourself, if you're in a decently big town, you should have pretty much nothing but good experiences. Japanese are often very interested in foreigners and usually welcome them, as long as they aren't forced to speak English if they aren't confident in their ability. I apologize if my post comes across rather strong, there is definitely a lot of emotion and frustration behind what I'm typing. I do think there is a very real difference between the typical xenophobia which is sadly the norm for Japan and the experiences I've had though. I've tried to be at least somewhat objective; I absolutely acknowledge that my personality leaves a lot to be desired. I've also tried to keep an open heart and mind as much as possible though, and I've largely been met with a people that refuse to, or unable to, do the same. You know, it's pretty much the same everywhere. As an obvious non-local you will always be disadvantaged in things like finding a job or renting an apartment, even in the most open-minded and multi-cultural communities; it's not just an Asian thing. Likewise, if you live in a small town on the fringe of civilization, you will experience racism and xenophobia, be it in China, Russia, or the US. Heck, you don't even have to have a different skin color and speak a different language for people to be suspicious and negative towards you in many small communities.
Was going to post something similar,
OP I don't understand, if you enjoyed Tokyo but didn't like this other place, why did you stay there so long?
|
On February 26 2013 21:51 TheKwas wrote:
Maybe you're just weird and nobody likes you?
What a nice thing to say!
An acquaintance went through a similar experience, although in a less harsh way. But it was in the heart of Osaka.
Some people are colder, more distant than others, and just like South Americans might feel bad in contact with French people, French people might feel bad in contact with Japanese people who seem to be even more attached to social codes and etiquette.
That guy would have beers with his colleagues daily, but none of them would become "friends". They would speak of their lives and feelings once drunk, but the next morning at work would be like any other morning, as if they barely knew each other. "Hello M. X, how are you M. X, have a nice day." That was it! Loneliness and depression ensued.
|
On February 26 2013 21:32 Salazarz wrote:Show nested quote +On February 26 2013 21:10 futility wrote:On February 26 2013 20:12 Recognizable wrote:
Why not leave? Teach Japanese in the US? Sorry if I didn't make this clear in the first post. I am moving back to America this summer. I'm going into another job involving Japanese but not in education On February 26 2013 20:30 Sapphire.lux wrote:
The cases i know of of foreigners living/ visiting Japan and having negative experiences like you describe are always people that do not understand and thus respect the values and ways of life of the Japanese. Over the years there have been A LOOOOOOOT of foreigners (a lot of them Americans) that have acted less then respectfully and this gave foreigner a bad name. They are not racist, they just hate people that don't respect their way of life, etiquette, etc. I understand what you're saying but a few (or a lot as the case may be) people giving a group a bad name is not justification for discrimination. It's an extreme example but one could easily point to the hugely disproportionate amount of african americans in the US prison system and conclude that they're predisposed to being criminals and should all be locked up. This ignores countless critical factors and would obviously be blatant discrimination though, as would judging all foreigners based on past bad experiences. I don't believe there is ever justification for discrimination. On February 26 2013 20:34 Tobberoth wrote:
It is important to see both sides, but it certainly sounds a bit weird when you say "This is the truth about Japan that no one ever wanted you to know.". First of all, finding articles and opinions about xenophobia in Japan is extremely easy and they are usually greatly exaggerated, giving people a bad image of Japan and when I lived in Tokyo, there were a lot of people who saw racism where there was none simply because of their preconceptions following reading about xenophobia in Japan.
It's certainly true there's a bigger risk of racism in rural areas, and in some situations racism is quite common even in tokyo, such as finding apartments (you can easily be denied living in an area simply because you're not japanese) and finding a job (I was told "i needed to study more Japanese" when I applied for a job at mcdonalds in Tokyo, even though I had cleared JLPT3 with a 98% grade. At the same time, my korean classmate who was FAR worse at Japanese than me easily got a job at mcdonalds. It was simply because Japanese have a tendency to be discouraged when they see foreigners as cashiers etc, because they think they might be forced to use English).
Overall though, like you say yourself, if you're in a decently big town, you should have pretty much nothing but good experiences. Japanese are often very interested in foreigners and usually welcome them, as long as they aren't forced to speak English if they aren't confident in their ability. I apologize if my post comes across rather strong, there is definitely a lot of emotion and frustration behind what I'm typing. I do think there is a very real difference between the typical xenophobia which is sadly the norm for Japan and the experiences I've had though. I've tried to be at least somewhat objective; I absolutely acknowledge that my personality leaves a lot to be desired. I've also tried to keep an open heart and mind as much as possible though, and I've largely been met with a people that refuse to, or unable to, do the same. You know, it's pretty much the same everywhere. As an obvious non-local you will always be disadvantaged in things like finding a job or renting an apartment, even in the most open-minded and multi-cultural communities; it's not just an Asian thing. Likewise, if you live in a small town on the fringe of civilization, you will experience racism and xenophobia, be it in China, Russia, or the US. Heck, you don't even have to have a different skin color and speak a different language for people to be suspicious and negative towards you in many small communities.
Yes but you're still going to be able to make some friends after a while. Teaching somewhere for 3 years and still being this isolated and poorly treated has to be rare. Most cultures appreciate teachers who try to get involved, respect the culture and learn the language. I know for certain you wouldn't be ostracised anywhere in South Korea, especially if you made the effort to become fluent. You'll still get occasional racism in almost any country but I doubt it'd be as pervasive as what the OP's been experiencing. That said when your country nuked an already proud, mono-ethnic island nation of course they're going to be pretty racist (particularly rurally) towards you coming to live there.
|
I lived in Sanda, a small town in Hyogo prefecture for 2 years and they were the most amazing, genuine, friendly people I have ever met. Small towns are either amazing or god awful, no matter what country you are in. If you love Japan and actually want to stay, then just go to another place.
|
On February 26 2013 21:32 Grettin wrote:I've read and heard similar things when you go further away from the main cities, to countryside etc. But sounds strange that in such a "large" city (10,000 People), you are in a situation you say you are. You already said that you are moving to US to work and so on, but did you ever try to move to another city to teach English and study Japanese while teaching? Or is it even that easy to just relocate? By the way, may i ask what kind of job you have in US then, if not education? Good luck nevertheless! At least your three years wasn't completely bad/wasted, i'd say.
Although population wise the town isn't that small, like many other rural areas in Japan it's actually a bunch of towns (I believe seven) that were consolidated into one relatively recently. The town's area is rather massive with a very low population density throughout which makes the numbers look a bit decieving.
I'm not a teacher by trade or education, this was mostly an opportunity for me to get some experience in the Japanese workplace and improve my Japanese. Relocating is a possibility but since I don't want to make a career of English teaching and I don't like Japanese work culture I've decided to go back to America to continue with my career. I'm going back to a job in an international manufacturing company. My time here definitely wasn't wasted as my Japanese has improved dramatically. I guess that's a good thing that came from my attempts to make friends
On February 26 2013 21:33 Salv wrote:
Do the other two white people you're friends with have other friends? You said you're not sure if it's just you that's responsible for your lack of friends, Japanese discrimination that's at fault, or something else - well if your other two white friends have other friends, maybe there's hope? Go out with them and their Japanese friends? It seems like you've made up your mind, which is probably entirely valid, I am just curious.
The two here now just arrived last summer and also have no friends here aside from myself unfortunately. We work on renewable one year contracts, and in the three years I've been here no one else has chosen to renew.
On February 26 2013 21:51 TheKwas wrote:
Maybe you're just weird and nobody likes you?
I've put a lot of thought into this. I guess it's a very real possibility.
On February 26 2013 22:25 eSen1a wrote:
OP I don't understand, if you enjoyed Tokyo but didn't like this other place, why did you stay there so long?
Unless you have a very compelling reason to move (marriage is pretty much the only one that comes to mind) then it's very difficult to relocate within the program I work for. Basically what it means is I'd have to find work with a new company to do so and unless a very good non-English teaching opportunity came up I'd prefer to find work in America at this point. I stayed as long as I did for a number of reasons. Despite all this I have really enjoyed my time here, and I do have friends and a girlfriend, but none of them live near me so I do a lot of driving on weekends.
On February 26 2013 22:28 Kukaracha wrote:
What a nice thing to say!
An acquaintance went through a similar experience, although in a less harsh way. But it was in the heart of Osaka.
Some people are colder, more distant than others, and just like South Americans might feel bad in contact with French people, French people might feel bad in contact with Japanese people who seem to be even more attached to social codes and etiquette.
That guy would have beers with his colleagues daily, but none of them would become "friends". They would speak of their lives and feelings once drunk, but the next morning at work would be like any other morning, as if they barely knew each other. "Hello M. X, how are you M. X, have a nice day." That was it! Loneliness and depression ensued.
Yeah, this is pretty much the same experience as I've had with all of my coworkers. What happens at parties or gatherings stays there so on Monday it's back to the formalities and any progress made is lost. It can be quite frustrating but since few of my coworkers are anywhere near my age it hasn't been a huge loss in my particular case.
Thanks for the replies.
|
You might be lacking a female connection. A girlfriend would make you "connected" in a way that your single status doesn't do. Subconsciously you might even be a threat to some japanese men since you are single. Girls are better at making social connections as well, so it's a pretty huge disadvantage being single or without a female companion.
Also, isn't the average married age around your age in Japan? That would make it more natural for couple friendships/dinners etc. I guess.
Despite all this I have really enjoyed my time here, and I do have friends and a girlfriend, but none of them live near me so I do a lot of driving on weekends.
Edit: Noticed this. Guess you aren't "connected" to the town at all then. That's the main problem. That nobody renews is a pretty big sign of a bad environment too. Probably just unlucky with the place then.
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
