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So, I know I said I wouldn't write about this issue again, but since it's officially over I might as well give some closure to people who have read my story, and for those who haven't, here's the 3 previous entries:
http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?id=305205 http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?id=306928 http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?id=313209
OK, so on to the new developments. Our friendship with benefits flourished quite nicely from the point I described in the last blog, we had a lot of fun, had some moments which were kinda "romantic", and all sorts of crazy things happened. Hiding from her roomate was insanely funny, sometimes we'd think we heard key noises outside her apartment door and get all worried then it was nothing, things like that.
There was one really funny situation, we were partying in one of out mutual classmate's apartment, we were drinking quite heavily but I was feeling great still (I control my alcohol level closely, I've had some bad experiences), while she was quite drunk. She had barely even looked at me the whole night, meanwhile, I was daydreaming like crazy remembering stuff from a few nights earlier. My glass was empty so I went to the kitchen to prepare myself something to drink, a few moments later, she came into the kitchen too, to leave a couple glasses there. Suddenly, she grabs me by the shoulder and kisses me wildly, then runs off!. That was so cool since everyone was in the next room and we had to keep this a secret, eventually I managed to do something similar to her later that night hahaha, had so many laughs.
Anyways, while all of this was happening, we continued our normal lives. She met some guys, I met a couple interesting girls, though nothing serious came out of it for either of us, we continued to study together and generally just hang out together as we always do, as time passed I felt we had growing trust and care for each other, as friends I mean, and that our friendship grew stronger.
Fast track some months later, our "private" encounters started happening less, although they were more intense every time as we knew each other better in that sense. One day though, she said she wanted to discuss our "situation", I of course agreed, so we sat and talked about it. She ended up saying she had enjoyed everything but she was always left with an emptyness afterwards, because she wasn't actually in a relationship. I understood and have actually felt the same way many, many times before, back when I was recently single, so I could relate and told her that no matter how much we were enjoying ourselves, and since neither of us was interested in each other in a romantic way, if she felt that way it was best to stop it altogether, and she should focus on finding what she's looking for, an actual relationship.
Ever since, we've been friendlier than ever. She tells me everything and viceversa, it's an absolutely AWESOME friendship. And in my mind it fills a void left in me a long time ago when I "lost" my best friend about 6 years ago. After a really long time I have a "buddy" I can trust with nearly anything. Too bad we probably won't be seeing each other too much from next year onwards though, we finish med school and from there on I don't even know where I'm gonna live for the next few years.
But anyways, what do you guys think? Can I call this ex friends with benefits relationship successful? I guess only time will tell if this friendship will survive for long, but for now, I feel awesome, and I really like the state things are, we just, seem to have solved this situation so smoothly it's hard to believe!
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Yes it is a success. In fact, from that description it sounds pretty damn well done.
Good job & best of luck.
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So, you aren't friends with benefits anymore? Or are you going out properly? Or is it still friends with benefits, just lasted a decent amount of time?
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On June 29 2012 15:30 Cyber_Cheese wrote: So, you aren't friends with benefits anymore? Or are you going out properly? Or is it still friends with benefits, just lasted a decent amount of time? No benefits, we're normal friends now
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Since when is not getting pussy a success?!?!? (in the theme of girl blogs)
I think you should intentionally find a random girl and get friendzoned hard, then see how long it takes/if you can get in her pants/have a close relationship. That would be a success in my eyes/worthy of the [girl blog] title.
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Waitwhat. WELP. I thought you're now in a relationship. Le sigh.
PS: Friends you had sex with in the past are awesome anyway. On... more than one level. (;
Edit:
On June 29 2012 15:50 iTzSnypah wrote: Since when is not getting pussy a success?!?!? (in the theme of girl blogs)
I think you should intentionally find a random girl and get friendzoned hard, then see how long it takes/if you can get in her pants/have a close relationship. That would be a success in my eyes/worthy of the [girl blog] title.
It's not that hard. It's just rare that the people who get friendzoned easily have the skillset to easily break out of it. For someone who knows his stuff its actually an advantage in a lot of ways.
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success = moving up a ladder failure = moving down a ladder your situation = jumping to a different ladder but still at the same height.
either way its good to hear a fwb story that ended nicely as opposed to the usual cluster fuck of emotions then rage induced arguments into never seeing each other again.
best of luck in keeping a good friend
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I've had a slightly similar situation happen to me as well. Congrats on gaining a person you trust. Hopefully your friendship will work out better then mine has, but just remember that it takes two people to be in a friendship, and it isn't over until one person stops putting in the effort.
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On June 29 2012 15:50 iTzSnypah wrote: Since when is not getting pussy a success?!?!? (in the theme of girl blogs)
I think you should intentionally find a random girl and get friendzoned hard, then see how long it takes/if you can get in her pants/have a close relationship. That would be a success in my eyes/worthy of the [girl blog] title. It's not hard honestly, but this happened in a completely random and unintended way. Our idea was always to stay friends and that was the most important part. I usually don't fall in love with my female friends and when I actually like someone I don't go to her as a friend, that will just get you friendzoned, I try to make it clear that I'm interested in a different level.
The whole friendzone concept is just a massive fail by guys. Most guys who get friendzoned get in this situation because they never actually wanted to be friends with the girl, but fail to make that clear/take appropriate actions, making it THEIR fault, making it even sadder when they go and whine and blame the girl. Sometimes people fall in love with long time friends but it's not the most common situation.
Anyways, our objective the whole time and the "frame" we set this inside of was always to "not damage our friendship". We had a very clear "ruleset" by which we handled this thing.
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