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Hyrule18937 Posts
(Some of you may remember my rant about moronic drivers for my 3000th post, all of which still holds true, and I recommend you read it if you drive)
In a perfect world, there would be no traffic. Sure, there would be a lot of volume, and occasionally an accident—obviously caused by random happenstance, such as an animal darting across the road or a tire bursting, rather than drivers being...well...bad—but overall driving would be a stress free experience, if not pleasant. But we do not live in a perfect world; oh no, quite far from it.
Today was pretty bad, traffic-wise. My normal commute is about 45 minutes: I live about 30 miles away from my office. The half dozen traffic lights add up to roughly 2 minutes of total stop time (hurray for right turn on red!). There's a bridge which is generally the slowest part of my commute, although also the shortest segment, as it's 3 lanes coming off of 3, although two lanes on the left merge (for whatever reason the port authority decides to move the zipper over in the middle of rush hour rather than the middle of the day, which changes the 4 lane westbound into a 3 lane westbound) and another flows up from an exit off of the southbound highway.
I will take a moment here to mention that the port authority is the Delaware River Port Authority, handily acronymed DRPA; seeing as how Delaware is DE, most people I know call it DERPA.
The front 10 and back 5 minutes of my commute are on town roads, at about 25 miles per hour. The majority of my trip is over freeways at somewhere between 60 and 70 miles per hour. Sometimes there's an accident or a broken down vehicle, which understandably causes delays. Last week, for instance, a fuel truck jack-knifed and spilled diesel across the entirety of northbound I-95, which delayed me by about 30 minutes while it was cleaned up.
So color me confused when today it took me over two hours to get to work, and yet no accidents, incidents, invasions, nuclear war, end of the worlds, or other such delay-causing phenomena were reported during the traffic reports.
Nope.
Nothing.
There was traffic for no reason; at least for the Jersey side of my commute. There were cars just stopped...and then 100 feet later going 60mph. There was no rhyme nor reason—people were just not jiving with that particular part of the road, apparently.
So fuck those guys.
The bridge was stupid, as normal, with the zipper truck midspan. People were slowing down as they approached it, wary of any sudden swerves or accelerations it may attempt—nevermind the fact that it's permanently attached to about 400 tons of steel and concrete and has a max speed of about 2mph and was designed to fit inside a single lane—nope gotta slow down.
So fuck those guys, too.
But that's okay; as soon as we eek past the zipper truck that 4th lane is open so I just zoom by all the idiots not obeying that whole "keep right except to pass" thing some people call The Law. Nope, no reason to obey that rule.
And those guys? Yep: fuck them.
Next up is the exit from the bridge, through the tolls, around a sharp curve, and a merge onto I-95 north. And by merge I mean there lane you're in when you come off the bridge, go around the curve, and get on 95 in keeps going as a lane for about 3 miles after joining with 95. That's a 3 mile lane to get up to speed and get left. So obviously everyone fails at that too.
Do I even need to say it at this point?
After that it's smooth sailing for maybe 5 miles. But then, suddenly, as if from nowhere, 4 lanes of people who were going 70mph not 12 seconds earlier have achieved a net speed of 4. I have hit a 3 mile backup. Not hearing anything about any aforementioned accidents, incidents, etc on the traffic report, my interest is piqued. What's causing the delay? Is it recent? Where is the cause of the backup? Should I get off the next exit? Around a curve in the highway I can see that the congestion clears not far beyond the next exit, so I figure I'll stay on, although at this point I still can't see the cause. For 45 minutes I creep forward, spending more time stopped than moving. Finally, after such a long time of waiting to see what could possibly be so bad as to cause this sort of delay, I catch a glimpse of the culprit: flashing yellow lights; lighted arrow trucks with crash buffers, guys with high visibility vests and....brooms. A street sweeper.....
It's a clean-up crew clearing pieces of tire, car parts, and broken glass from crashes over the past couple of months—it's standard practice for crash crews to clear detritus to the shoulder to facilitate getting traffic cleared up ASAP, rather than spend time cleaning it up then and there, as there are these clean-up crews who every so often do that for them—slowly creeping down the right shoulder. The whole right shoulder. Like....all of it.
You see, it's endemic to Pennsylvanians, nobody knows why, but it is, that if there is absolutely anything happening anywhere within maybe even line of sight from somewhere in their car, they must immediately stop – yes, completely and totally come to full stop, regardless of where they are (usually the middle of a freeway during rush hour while going about 70 mph) – to examine what's happening.
Fuck everyone. It's a damned clean-up crew, picking up the shit that fell off cars who were rear-ended on the highway because they inexplicably slammed on their brakes to look at something wholly uninteresting off to the side of the road. An hour wasted sitting in traffic because a crew was cleaning up the junk while not obstructing traffic in any way whatsoever.
I hate all drivers. Today, I particularly hate Pennsylvanian drivers (well...I always hate them, they are all terrible, without exception).
  
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I feel your pain, traffic in the DC area is a complete joke 90% of the time. Thankfully I don't deal with it on a daily basis as I live 5 minutes away from work and just take backroads.
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Hyrule18937 Posts
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Hehehe, really nice read. This is why im not going to move outside of the city center, (or at least a subway station) no matter what town im living in. Commuting sucks
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PA is the worst state to drive through. Why are cops so anal there? Everytime I drive through PA, you always come upto these trains of cars just leasurily following a trooper, because they're all shitfuck scared to pass them - even drive beside them. My father got ticketed there for having an 'incorrect speedo', from a canadian car. lol.
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Estonia4644 Posts
tofu
you are so cute when you rage
:'D
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On May 17 2012 02:21 a176 wrote:
PA is the worst state to drive through. Why are cops so anal there? Everytime I drive through PA, you always come upto these trains of cars just leasurily following a trooper, because they're all shitfuck scared to pass them - even drive beside them. My father got ticketed there for having an 'incorrect speedo', from a canadian car. lol.
I disagree, cops in NJ are worse because they tend to be sneaky and hide at different places, especially during the night to catch people speeding. One time, I saw a cop car on top of a hill, and sped towards a driver who was going to be ticketed for excessive speeding. Whenever I have a trip through NJ, I have to be careful about whether I should try to speed or not, unlike PA where I can usually go in short bursts up to 140 as a challenge.
Though PA drivers are no better, especially during construction hours. A terrible experience that I had was going through a 2 mile stretch that took 30 minutes because of construction. Even though I couldn't do it, I wanted to get out of the car and started walking as my legs were getting restless from pressing the brake, and I didn't want to leave it on park.
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I live in New Jersey, and I really hate crossing the border from NJ to PA (my girlfriend goes to UPenn, so I'm in PA a decent amount of time).
NJ- where the 65 mph speed limit really means "80 mph or as fast as possible if you don't see a cop". That's how I'm trained. I drive safely with those expectations. PA- where the speed limit means 5 less in the fast lane, 15 less in the others. There's a reason why multiple lanes exist >.<
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On May 17 2012 02:31 Phelix wrote:Show nested quote +On May 17 2012 02:21 a176 wrote:
PA is the worst state to drive through. Why are cops so anal there? Everytime I drive through PA, you always come upto these trains of cars just leasurily following a trooper, because they're all shitfuck scared to pass them - even drive beside them. My father got ticketed there for having an 'incorrect speedo', from a canadian car. lol. I disagree, cops in NJ are worse because they tend to be sneaky and hide at different places, especially during the night to catch people speeding. One time, I saw a cop car on top of a hill, and sped towards a driver who was going to be ticketed for excessive speeding. Whenever I have a trip through NJ, I have to be careful about whether I should try to speed or not, unlike PA where I can usually go in short bursts up to 140 as a challenge. Though PA drivers are no better, especially during construction hours. A terrible experience that I had was going through a 2 mile stretch that took 30 minutes because of construction. Even though I couldn't do it, I wanted to get out of the car and started walking as my legs were getting restless from pressing the brake, and I didn't want to leave it on park.
actually the last time i set my gps to avoid the highway (on my way to virginia). there were alot of nice little towns and great scenery drives. and zero traffic 
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Hyrule18937 Posts
Yeah they don't seem to realize they have the same keep right except to pass law as we do :\
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On May 17 2012 02:21 a176 wrote:
PA is the worst state to drive through. Why are cops so anal there? Everytime I drive through PA, you always come upto these trains of cars just leasurily following a trooper, because they're all shitfuck scared to pass them - even drive beside them. My father got ticketed there for having an 'incorrect speedo', from a canadian car. lol.
Meh. I drove from New Jersey to Columbus, Ohio and back again for MLG... 9 hours each way- 18 hours round trip. Saw over a dozen cops inside my state during that trip; saw fewer than six outside of NJ. And I was only inside of NJ for about three hours total.
I've also gotten tickets for driving five (5) miles over the speed limit. Yes, "tickets" is a plural word. And I've gotten a written warning for having my college parking hangtag on my rearview mirror. And a spoken warning for changing lanes with my blinker on, because the cop wanted to make sure I was being careful (there were no other cars on the road).
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Hyrule18937 Posts
On May 17 2012 02:51 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On May 17 2012 02:21 a176 wrote:
PA is the worst state to drive through. Why are cops so anal there? Everytime I drive through PA, you always come upto these trains of cars just leasurily following a trooper, because they're all shitfuck scared to pass them - even drive beside them. My father got ticketed there for having an 'incorrect speedo', from a canadian car. lol. Meh. I drove from New Jersey to Columbus, Ohio and back again for MLG... 9 hours each way- 18 hours round trip. Saw over a dozen cops inside my state during that trip; saw fewer than six outside of NJ. And I was only inside of NJ for about three hours total. I've also gotten tickets for driving five (5) miles over the speed limit. Yes, "tickets" is a plural word. And I've gotten a written warning for having my college parking hangtag on my rearview mirror. And a spoken warning for changing lanes with my blinker on, because the cop wanted to make sure I was being careful (there were no other cars on the road).
Strict cops are why we are so much better at driving than Pennsylvanians though.
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On May 17 2012 02:59 tofucake wrote:Show nested quote +On May 17 2012 02:51 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On May 17 2012 02:21 a176 wrote:
PA is the worst state to drive through. Why are cops so anal there? Everytime I drive through PA, you always come upto these trains of cars just leasurily following a trooper, because they're all shitfuck scared to pass them - even drive beside them. My father got ticketed there for having an 'incorrect speedo', from a canadian car. lol. Meh. I drove from New Jersey to Columbus, Ohio and back again for MLG... 9 hours each way- 18 hours round trip. Saw over a dozen cops inside my state during that trip; saw fewer than six outside of NJ. And I was only inside of NJ for about three hours total. I've also gotten tickets for driving five (5) miles over the speed limit. Yes, "tickets" is a plural word. And I've gotten a written warning for having my college parking hangtag on my rearview mirror. And a spoken warning for changing lanes with my blinker on, because the cop wanted to make sure I was being careful (there were no other cars on the road). Strict cops are why we are so much better at driving than Pennsylvanians though.
Probably, but it's a hollow victory if I'm paying a higher insurance rate, not to mention pain-in-the-ass parkway and turnpike traffic 
I really just attribute my driving abilities to copious amounts of Mario Kart and Diddy Kong Racing as a youth. ♥
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On May 17 2012 03:05 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On May 17 2012 02:59 tofucake wrote:On May 17 2012 02:51 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On May 17 2012 02:21 a176 wrote:
PA is the worst state to drive through. Why are cops so anal there? Everytime I drive through PA, you always come upto these trains of cars just leasurily following a trooper, because they're all shitfuck scared to pass them - even drive beside them. My father got ticketed there for having an 'incorrect speedo', from a canadian car. lol. Meh. I drove from New Jersey to Columbus, Ohio and back again for MLG... 9 hours each way- 18 hours round trip. Saw over a dozen cops inside my state during that trip; saw fewer than six outside of NJ. And I was only inside of NJ for about three hours total. I've also gotten tickets for driving five (5) miles over the speed limit. Yes, "tickets" is a plural word. And I've gotten a written warning for having my college parking hangtag on my rearview mirror. And a spoken warning for changing lanes with my blinker on, because the cop wanted to make sure I was being careful (there were no other cars on the road). Strict cops are why we are so much better at driving than Pennsylvanians though. Probably, but it's a hollow victory if I'm paying a higher insurance rate, not to mention pain-in-the-ass parkway and turnpike traffic I really just attribute my driving abilities to copious amounts of Mario Kart and Diddy Kong Racing as a youth. ♥
You are prolly just granny shifting and not even double clutching like you should.
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Hyrule18937 Posts
On May 17 2012 03:43 FullNatural wrote:Show nested quote +On May 17 2012 03:05 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On May 17 2012 02:59 tofucake wrote:On May 17 2012 02:51 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On May 17 2012 02:21 a176 wrote:
PA is the worst state to drive through. Why are cops so anal there? Everytime I drive through PA, you always come upto these trains of cars just leasurily following a trooper, because they're all shitfuck scared to pass them - even drive beside them. My father got ticketed there for having an 'incorrect speedo', from a canadian car. lol. Meh. I drove from New Jersey to Columbus, Ohio and back again for MLG... 9 hours each way- 18 hours round trip. Saw over a dozen cops inside my state during that trip; saw fewer than six outside of NJ. And I was only inside of NJ for about three hours total. I've also gotten tickets for driving five (5) miles over the speed limit. Yes, "tickets" is a plural word. And I've gotten a written warning for having my college parking hangtag on my rearview mirror. And a spoken warning for changing lanes with my blinker on, because the cop wanted to make sure I was being careful (there were no other cars on the road). Strict cops are why we are so much better at driving than Pennsylvanians though. Probably, but it's a hollow victory if I'm paying a higher insurance rate, not to mention pain-in-the-ass parkway and turnpike traffic I really just attribute my driving abilities to copious amounts of Mario Kart and Diddy Kong Racing as a youth. ♥ You are prolly just granny shifting and not even double clutching like you should. I too can quote The Fast and the Furious.
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Ahahaha, wow, that sucks. Rubbernecking is the absolute worst when it comes to traffic. It constantly baffles me.
And you think PA is bad? Clearly, you haven't driven through Ohio. People out here love to pass each other while using cruise control, which would be fine if they weren't both going the same speed.
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FREEAGLELAND26780 Posts
tofucake drives scary though :3
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I heard Pennsylvania has really draconian rules about having your license out when you get pulled over.
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Finally another person who understands! I've been preaching for years about how awful PA drivers are and that NJ drivers really aren't worse than any other normal driver. DE has its fair share of idiot drivers, but most of the time when they do things I can see the reasoning, even if it's making douche bag moves. PA drivers just make no sense.
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I want to swap out my car for a big fuck off truck to run every PA and NY driver that's gonna be on our goddamn highway this summer. Fuck them all, forever.
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EPT
