EPT
In fact, a lot of my past 1000 posts haven't even been in public forums. I've written only 1 released news article since 2000, which is a little depressing...but more are coming, which is really exciting for me.
Also, everyone should contribute to Liquipedia.
And now that I've recapped all the stuff I've done, it's on to more important issues. Namely, why I hate everyone who drives.
So...there's a lot of rules about how you're supposed to drive. Usually, these are known as "laws", but commonly, they are known as "fuck you my car is bigger". So, the most common issues...
1. Keep right, except to pass
In the state of New Jersey, the law is keep right, except to pass. Now, this makes a lot of sense. For one, it's logical. If you're not passing someone, you don't get in the way. What typically happens is people are awful and dumb and decide that going the exact same speed as the person to the right of them is perfectly okay. But they are wrong and dumb. I'm a fairly nice driver. When someone needs to get in, I let them in. When someone has to get out of a parking lot and needs to go left I'll try to let them through. But when these assholes cruise in the left lane I will tailgate the shit out of them.
2. Yield is not STOP.
The Yield sign means "if you can go, go; if you can't go, X"
Now this part depends. When there is an acceleration lane, X is "keep going as long as you can" and when there isn't it means "stop". Yeah, I know I'm contradicting myself here. But that's not the point. People seem to think Yield means stop in all cases at all times. I can't even count how many times I've almost crashed into dumbfucks who stopped at a yield. There's one in particular which is bad. The Yield is for people merging into a left lane to make a left. But if you just keep going straight you have several hundred feet of acceleration lane. So you don't have to stop. You can speed up a bit, which makes merging EASIER. Fuckers decide to stop and nearly get me killed instead.
3. Yield is not MERGE.
If you see a Yield sign, it means you stay the fuck out of the way until you can get in without being in anyone's way. Yield signs do not entitle you to right of way, they do not entitle you to a merge. Stop cutting me off you giant bags of fail.
4. Use a damn turn signal.
It's sad I have to even mention this.
5. Learn how do brake you retards
When you want to slow down, take your foot off the gas. When you need to slow down rapidly, put your foot on the brakes. What you should never do (stop fucking doing it already) is try to send me Morse code messages with your brakes. I don't know Morse code, so all you're telling me is "herp derp I'm a fucking tool". Seriously. Don't do that.
6. Learn how to use your mirrors god dammit
Take 2 seconds to look in your mirrors before cutting me off. If your plan is to pass someone going 50 on a road where the speed limit is 55 and you plan on going 45, check your mirrors for the guy coming up at 80 (aka me). It will save everyone a headache. Especially when I have to cut around you, and then the guy you were "passing".
7. Stop cutting me off, asshole
DON'T DO IT
8. Put down your damn phone and pay attention fuckwad
-nt
I've covered most of the things that annoy me the most. Many people are awful...just AWFUL drivers. But they couldn't possibly get any worse unless they somehow managed to make their car burst into flames in the middle of the highway. But nobody ever does tha----
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god dammit I hate you all.
and i feel you. i love driving. but everyone's a retard 
