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Hey,
TeamLiquid is the only forum i'm really familiar with and I suppose this will fit here as well as anywhere else..
I feel like I need some form of advice since i'm really lost in this situation, and I don't feel like I have anyone in real life that I could talk to who could actually give me anything worth my time.
To start with i'm 26, not 16, so keep that in mind when reading, even though I sound like a 16-year-old asking for girl advice on a gaming website..
I have never had a real relationship (i've had one night things or a few night things after the pub..), not because i'm ugly or introvert, i've had the ability had I wanted to, but because the prospect has always scared me for some reason. I'm completely green to the whole couple thing.
Basically i'm interested in (maybe love?) this girl I work with, only problem is, she's got a boyfriend! They are not married or engaged and have only been together for 6 months. I have known this girl for 4 months.
We don't only work together, we're also friends and hang out after work from time to time, watching movies, taking walks and doing friend stuff in general.
Now some of you may think i'm full of shit, or that i'm overestimating myself grossly, but please imagine that the following is true.. I'm a good looking guy, i'm very intelligent, funny, a romantic and my "member" is atleast of avarage size and pretty good looking too, as far as members go..
I beat her current boyfriend in all of those areas, even though I cant be sure about his fellahs size, I know his shoe size is 39 (euro size), and he is a small dude in general. In my experience that tells something. I have more money aswell and lead a more interesting life (imo).
Only place where I lose to this guy is that this girl is moderatly interested in cars and I know nothing of cars, while he does. On the other hand, from what I can gather she's not all that happy with her relationship.
I would like to try relationshipping it up with this gal.
Now i'm fairly sure she's not out of my reach, but I have no idea how i'm supposed to bring up that i'm interested in her and would like to date her. I don't want to give her the impression that i'm just out to bang her, because i'm really not. I feel clueless when it comes to this. I'd be happy if I could get any help or pointers on how to approach this thing correctly without scaring her off.
Also don't take my talk about member size serious, i'm not that shallow. It was a joke (but his shoe size really is 39)!
Hlep!
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Honestly, just wait it out. No reason to do anything stupid when the problem will likely be solved with time.
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Being 26, I'm sure you're familiar with the friend zone. As much as you think you "beat" the other guy, he's the one with her.
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Well you don't want to embarrass yourself so your gonna need to look at her bf's dick. The best way would be to follow him around and find out what gym he goes too. Then you can look at his penis in the locker room. Try to take a picture because you might not be able to judge in the heat of the moment.
Then you can go home and compare your penis to his. Try consulting some female friends to get a better read, your desire might impair your judgement! If your penis score is higher than you can move onto the next step.
The final step is: text a picture of your dick along with a smiley face (^_^).
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Loooooooool. The first thing that struck me was the importance you placed on describing the qualities of your dick along with your other characteristics. The size of your dick IS NOT IMPORTANT. It does not make you a good lover by any means. In addition, your bashing of her current boyfriend and your cockiness was such a turn off. You sound like an self-absorbed boy.
If she has a boyfriend she is interested in him and not you. This is not ALWAYS true, but it is better to assume it than make an ass of yourself. Just keep treating her as a friend and keep it that way until they break up.
+ Show Spoiler +I am a woman, if it matters to how you consider my opinion.
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If you come on to her now, you'll lose a friend and never have a chance at a relationship.
Back off and hope you get a chance.
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lol why do you think being better than him makes you a qualified candidate? She probably knows a few guys better than you too. Sorry, makes you sound like a douche when you compare yourself to other people and automatically assume you're better.
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I think it's because you are a dick. If you are comparing yourself in every way to this girl's guy while trying to steal her away I am pretty damned sure you're just an asshole. If you're 26 and think you're in love with a girl you've known for 4 months whom you haven'y dated you are most likely confused as well. This is called infatuation. Now man up and go meet some single girls.
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United States22883 Posts
On March 21 2012 09:23 Shika wrote:
I have never had a real relationship (i've had one night things or a few night things after the pub..), not because i'm ugly or introvert, i've had the ability had I wanted to, but because the prospect has always scared me for some reason. I'm completely green to the whole couple thing. Already don't believe you.
As for the rest, move on. Jesus christ. What is wrong with you?
"I'm not an introvert!"
2 paragraphs later
"I might be in love with a girl at work!"
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You're screwed, for now at least. Doesn't matter how "awesome" you think you are, it matters that her BF currently gives her something no one else does, and that beats anything your cockyness can muster.
So no, just be her friend and wait it out. Meet other women, have fun
(Could use that last advice myself though.. sigh..)
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I may be a douche and a self-absorbed boy, you may have that opinion and maybe it's true. But that is completely irrelevant to my question.
Thanks to English and dGHaiL for the advice, i'll take that into consideration but it's not enough to deter me just yet.
And Rinny, you're genuinly funny, thanks!
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Looks like the advice here is two-fold: back off if she has a bf, and secondly-- if you want her to start being attracted to you (presumably she's not if she's interested in someone else) you might want to work on some personal issues.
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I meet and have come across other women in my life, but this is the first one i've actually been interested in. So just leaving it be and meeting other women isn't that easy.
As for my cocky attitude and general behaviour, you can't say that this is wrong and a turn off. It might be for you, but you have no real idea of what her preferances are. Apparantly i'm pleasant enough that she wants to hang out with me on her free time.
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hey what does she look like? have a sick theory but i need to know what she looks like to prove it.
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The emphasis on the size of your dong makes me foresee a failure. And so does the comparison as you and her boyfriend were pokemons.
Looks, intelligence, all of those depend on a certain point of view.
But yes, if she's been with him for 6 months they may not be very solid. But on the other hand, you do sound full of shit (or somewhat immature).
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After some thought, I actually think i realised something.
Waiting it out is actually the best, if not the only option. I'm in the friend zone, that's a fact. I will continue being her friend and if she is actually interested, she'll come to me. If she doesn't, she is not interesting to me anymore since apparantly she's not on my wave lenght.
But while typing this, I came to another realization.. And this is probably more fodder to the you're-a-self-absorbed-deluded-douche parade. She might think that i'm out of her league. She could be afraid to risk our friendship by approaching me in that way. She could harbor feelings for ME but be afraid to take that step, just the same as I am.
Rinny: Why, like the girl version of me of course! Was that your theory? Or maybe my mother? No, she's an ordinary looking girl, not over the top beautiful- or ugly. Looks is not the main factor i'm after in a girl, believe it or not.
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Rule 1: don't be in romantic relationships with colleagues. When (Yes, when, the statistically probable outcome) the fallout occurs it will be nasty and you will suffer severe repercussions, not to mention it being against company policy in some companies.
Rule 2: Do not challenge an existing romantic relationship. If you do, it is guaranteed that the same thing will happen with her again, but this time you'll be getting the short end of the stick.
In short, NONONONONONONONONONONO
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My theory was that you are gay based on your statement that "shes the only girl ive ever liked" and your emphasis on dicks. do yeah is she like masculine at all?
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On March 21 2012 10:11 Shika wrote: She might think that i'm out of her league. She could be afraid to risk our friendship by approaching me in that way. She could harbor feelings for ME but be afraid to take that step, just the same as I am.
I lol'd.
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On March 21 2012 10:21 Rinny wrote: My theory was that you are gay based on your statement that "shes the only girl ive ever liked" and your emphasis on dicks. do yeah is she like masculine at all?
I'll entertain you.
No, looks wise she's small and petite. But she's definitely "rougher" around the edges than your avarage girl. She knows how to fix a car and she's not afraid to get her hands dirty.
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