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English class 9th grade.
We were having a really serious discussion about something, I can't remember the exact topic.
So at some point (I can't remember the context surrounding the statement) my teacher says very seriously, "There's nothing sadder than dead baby." Now at the time me and my friends had been exchanging the ol' dead baby jokes so about 2 seconds after he says it, I started bursting out laughing.
Unfortunately I was the only one. Upon realization, I abruptly cut off my laughs and found my teacher glaring at me. The whole class was silent.
I think everyone thought I was an insensitive asshole from that day forward.
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On April 03 2009 08:07 JeeJee wrote:
c'mon now, the reason this thread is entertaining is because it's filled with unique stories, not crap i read a billion times on the internet already.
Its been getting progressively worse since like page 8 with like one or two exceptions for every five pages. =\
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On April 03 2009 05:02 Mora wrote:
i've had a few moments...
at school i'd say that the worst moment for me was the day that i learned you should wash your hair in the shower before you wack off, not after.
i walked around with a big glob of hardened come in my hair for a good 3 hours. no one said anything or called me names, but they were definitely staring and laughing. I kept thinking my fly was undone or something.... i went to the washroom to check if i had something in my teeth or a honkin' zit or something, and couldn't find anything in my inspection. It was only when in science class that i was scratching the back of my head that i found the big glob hardened in the back of my hair.
i didn't go back to school for the rest of the week.
lol. hahaha. lesson well learned i guess.
On April 03 2009 05:40 DreaM)XeRO wrote:
This was during freshman year of high school. There is a tradition for all guys going to states in swimming to either
a) shave all hair completly off the body (ALL)
or
b) dye hair blond, but still shave the whole body
The states crew decided that we would chose the lesser of two evils
we chose b.
So the night before states comes around, and we have a pasta party
(Pasta is high in carbs. It's a swimming tradition)
Afterwords we all (boys and girls) decided it was time for the men to shave
All of the dudes got naked one by one, as the girls would soap and shave their bodies
So it comes to be my turn. The senior captain takes one look at me and says "omg Sean is MINE".
The captain was pretty cute so i had no problem with it. So i strip down and get under the shower for a few minutes. I reach for the soap to start lathering myself and i find that it's gone. Kathryn (the captain's name) had the soap in her hand. She smiles and starts to rub the soap all over my chest and back. She reaches down near my crotch and ...naturally i have a boner. She giggles and winks. I don't know what to do. She whispers "you're really cute" smiles. Then i was DONE. I literally jizzed all over the place. Like...fucking mt.fucking.vesuvius. It was redic. Her eyes went huge, and her mouth formed into a little o of suprise. She wiped it off, and left.
I had to shave myself. When i got out..Everyone started cracking up at me...
LOL I hope you are shitting me. Sorry, but that's pretty sad, definitely a story for the grandchilden 
On April 03 2009 07:47 fookyou wrote:
In my Senior year, I was in Biology class and we were learning about the reproductive system.
My teacher somehow got into the subject of sperm and semen and commented on (with a really straight face and a serious tone) "There are starch compounds in sperm and semen so it should taste sweet".
And one of the girls in the class blurts out "What? No it doesn't."
The teacher smirked and asked "Oh? How would you know?"
Laughter ensued. She turned red and walked out of the classroom.
Wow. owned..... Must have had a bad reputation for the rest of the year...
Definitely FML experiences...
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the last one is a bash.org experience
<Eticam> I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm
<Eticam> And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then
<Eticam> When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ass
<Eticam> Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat
<Eticam> The girl started crying and left class ^
source http://bash.org/?top
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Just remembered this and of course my first thought was to post in thread; repressed memories ftw!
When I was about thirteen I went into my mom's bathroom to get a towel so I could take a shower in my own bathroom. My mom was putting on makeup and looking into the mirror when I entered. The brilliant idea of putting my shower on hold to mock her and pretend to put makeup on myself popped into my head. I was very mature for my age as you can probably tell by this. My face being very close to the mirror I noticed my prepubescent mustache evolving into a much manlier one and this made me happy.
Standing right next to my mother I turned my head directly towards her, pointed at my upper lip and said, "hmm" which was my way of telling her to look. She said, "what?" and I replied "man hair". At this moment in time I noticed her hand drop down from her face to be on the same level of my lower extremities. She then proceeded to grab/fondle my genitals for a full two seconds and said, "you probably have hair down here too" while laughing in the process. I quietly exited the bathroom and took my shower.
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On April 03 2009 05:40 DreaM)XeRO wrote:
This was during freshman year of high school. There is a tradition for all guys going to states in swimming to either
a) shave all hair completly off the body (ALL)
or
b) dye hair blond, but still shave the whole body
The states crew decided that we would chose the lesser of two evils
we chose b.
So the night before states comes around, and we have a pasta party
(Pasta is high in carbs. It's a swimming tradition)
Afterwords we all (boys and girls) decided it was time for the men to shave
All of the dudes got naked one by one, as the girls would soap and shave their bodies
So it comes to be my turn. The senior captain takes one look at me and says "omg Sean is MINE".
The captain was pretty cute so i had no problem with it. So i strip down and get under the shower for a few minutes. I reach for the soap to start lathering myself and i find that it's gone. Kathryn (the captain's name) had the soap in her hand. She smiles and starts to rub the soap all over my chest and back. She reaches down near my crotch and ...naturally i have a boner. She giggles and winks. I don't know what to do. She whispers "you're really cute" smiles. Then i was DONE. I literally jizzed all over the place. Like...fucking mt.fucking.vesuvius. It was redic. Her eyes went huge, and her mouth formed into a little o of suprise. She wiped it off, and left.
I had to shave myself. When i got out..Everyone started cracking up at me...
wait... were the girls naked or in swimsuits? Also, was this like in the showers in locker rooms or something? and at least you got an older, cute chick to rub the cum off your dick, am I right?
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Bosnia-Herzegovina1437 Posts
On April 15 2009 16:16 deathgod6 wrote:Show nested quote +On April 03 2009 05:40 DreaM)XeRO wrote:
This was during freshman year of high school. There is a tradition for all guys going to states in swimming to either
a) shave all hair completly off the body (ALL)
or
b) dye hair blond, but still shave the whole body
The states crew decided that we would chose the lesser of two evils
we chose b.
So the night before states comes around, and we have a pasta party
(Pasta is high in carbs. It's a swimming tradition)
Afterwords we all (boys and girls) decided it was time for the men to shave
All of the dudes got naked one by one, as the girls would soap and shave their bodies
So it comes to be my turn. The senior captain takes one look at me and says "omg Sean is MINE".
The captain was pretty cute so i had no problem with it. So i strip down and get under the shower for a few minutes. I reach for the soap to start lathering myself and i find that it's gone. Kathryn (the captain's name) had the soap in her hand. She smiles and starts to rub the soap all over my chest and back. She reaches down near my crotch and ...naturally i have a boner. She giggles and winks. I don't know what to do. She whispers "you're really cute" smiles. Then i was DONE. I literally jizzed all over the place. Like...fucking mt.fucking.vesuvius. It was redic. Her eyes went huge, and her mouth formed into a little o of suprise. She wiped it off, and left.
I had to shave myself. When i got out..Everyone started cracking up at me... wait... were the girls naked or in swimsuits? Also, was this like in the showers in locker rooms or something? and at least you got an older, cute chick to rub the cum off your dick, am I right?
God damn dude, shouda asked for a bj rofl.
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the last one is a bash.org experience
 (not the guy pointing it out, the people who do it)
Coming in here with a story jacked from somewhere else is lame. This is the internet. If you've seen it, lots of other people have too. It ruins the thread.
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It's a repeatable experience. A question about semen tasting sweet occurred in my Health class as well, but it was asked anonymously via question box.
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Yeah, but his description was EXACTLY like the Bash one.
It was pretty clearly BS.
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On April 15 2009 16:03 BuGzlToOnl wrote:
Standing right next to my mother I turned my head directly towards her, pointed at my upper lip and said, "hmm" which was my way of telling her to look. She said, "what?" and I replied "man hair". At this moment in time I noticed her hand drop down from her face to be on the same level of my lower extremities. She then proceeded to grab/fondle my genitals for a full two seconds and said, "you probably have hair down here too" while laughing in the process. I quietly exited the bathroom and took my shower.
....ur mom is weird
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DUDE BUGZ TOON, HER NAME WAS CANNI??? WOW
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Korea (South)11584 Posts
Back in 11th grade, I was seeing this girl, huge mistake now that i think back on it, but one night, i fucked her on a hill outside her townhouse at like 11:00 at night.
Well, the next day she wanted to introduce me to her step-mom who worked at a grocery store. We walk in, and her mom said "Hey you just fucked my daughter, I heard you have a big cock, how are you?" while she was cashing some old people out. And she said it in such a way that it was like she was really pleased to meet me. Which got me, my girl at the time, and her mom a ton of awkward looks.
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i had this one teacher for homeroom who never paid attention, and this girl was sitting on my lap and all my friends were looking at me, so me and this girl started playing the "nervous" game. and she ended up going pretty far, and started giving me a handjob right when everyone is looking, it was good and bad at the same time
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United States4126 Posts
On May 01 2009 10:13 CaucasianAsian wrote:
"Hey you just fucked my daughter, I heard you have a big cock, how are you?"
O_O
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u gotta skate8152 Posts
On May 01 2009 10:13 CaucasianAsian wrote:
Back in 11th grade, I was seeing this girl, huge mistake now that i think back on it, but one night, i fucked her on a hill outside her townhouse at like 11:00 at night.
Well, the next day she wanted to introduce me to her step-mom who worked at a grocery store. We walk in, and her mom said "Hey you just fucked my daughter, I heard you have a big cock, how are you?" while she was cashing some old people out. And she said it in such a way that it was like she was really pleased to meet me. Which got me, my girl at the time, and her mom a ton of awkward looks.
lmao what the hell?! hahahahah
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Austin10833 Posts
hey check out this story where i have a girlfriend and a big penis. envy me, team liquid nerds!!!!!!!!!
lol.
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It's from all the crack rock he smoked as a young lad.
You just wouldn't understand, d00d.
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I accidentally tucked my skirt into my underwear -_-
But some girl told me when I get outta the washroom. EMBARASSING.
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On May 01 2009 12:08 lemmings021 wrote:
i had this one teacher for homeroom who never paid attention, and this girl was sitting on my lap and all my friends were looking at me, so me and this girl started playing the "nervous" game. and she ended up going pretty far, and started giving me a handjob right when everyone is looking, it was good and bad at the same time
You don't play "nervous" with a girl, that's called "foreplay".
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EPT
