EPTBut occasionally I'll start to consciously think about it in the middle of a conversation, and then I get awkward ^_^
Do you have trouble making eye contact? - Page 3
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Tsagacity
United States2124 Posts
But occasionally I'll start to consciously think about it in the middle of a conversation, and then I get awkward ^_^ | ||
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XCetron
5226 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + jk | ||
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HamerD
United Kingdom1922 Posts
 .I often find that you have to actively look someone in the eyes, not just expect it to happen. I think that's why it means so much, you are taking the effort to hold their gaze, it's good for stating anything genuine, or at least appearing to be genuine. | ||
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gLyo
United States2410 Posts
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GeneralStan
United States4789 Posts
The bus is the worst for me. I'm going to be in this confined place with them for ten or fifteen minutes and I don't feel particularly like talking, and I can't look at them, and there's the awkwardness about making eye contact. I get that with one of my roommates too (the one I don't like). We'll be talking about something and neither one of us is actually looking at each other. We always talk about mundane things like rent and dishes, and I think if we were to look at each other, we'd realize how much we dislike each other. | ||
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Danzepol
United States211 Posts
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
i keep seeing people randomly talking to the air i never know if its a cellphone conversation or people going crazy. | ||
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Texas
Germany2388 Posts
never tried watching in eyes of men for minutes but dont have problem with starring in their eyes for some seconds. probably some self-confidence issue, i guess shy persons cant hold eye contact for minutes. | ||
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XoXiDe
United States620 Posts
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evanthebouncy!
United States12816 Posts
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gwho
United States632 Posts
On May 07 2008 17:43 gg_hertzz wrote: I admit, I've always had a terrible time looking at people's eyes when talking to them. I recently read that eye contact is one of the most important elements in conversations, creating and maintaining friendships,and giving people clues about your intentions. So I recorded myself having a fake conversation. What I saw bothered me. Basically my eyes darted furiously around the room, I would roll my eyes and make gestures like something was bothering them. I barely maintained eye contact but I looked mentally disturbed. I wonder if some of you guys have experiences or advice about this? And what do you feel about it? Have you thought about it at all or did it never cross your mind? i have the same problem. i think for me it has to do with insecurity and them judging me. plus i was shy since forever. get really nervous around people, especially if they are peers and are more of the judgemental type, rather than friendly and accepting. this of course implies there is no problem with eye contact among friends, is that true for you too? i think just like shyness, the eye contact thing is a confidence issue. at least for people who are sort of similar to my case. there could be really outgoing people who don't make eyecontact cause maybe they habitually lie and always feel edgey, or numerous other reasons. but for people who are shy and more on the unconfident side like me, i do think it is a confidence issue. what do you think? | ||
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blabber
United States4448 Posts
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gwho
United States632 Posts
On May 08 2008 04:09 blabber wrote: People that will never look away when talking to me freak me out lol so true. you gotta mix both. | ||
XaI)CyRiC
United States4471 Posts
 I usually end up settling for one eye or their mouth. Like someone else said, mouth seems natural to me because that's where all the action is when they're talking. Looking between their eyes makes me feel cross-eyed too, go figure... | ||
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Louder
United States2276 Posts
If it feels awkward to you, practice looking people in the eye for no more than 1-2 seconds at a time during a conversation. And as other people have mentioned, there are tricks - look at the bridge of the nose, look slightly below the eyes, etc. One I find useful when I simply don't want to be talking to someone is to look past them - focus so that their face blurs and you focus on what's immediately behind them - but you're still pointed directly at the eyes. It's also good for people who make you uncomfortable. | ||
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YoUr_KiLLeR
United States3420 Posts
On May 08 2008 03:36 mnm wrote: ok ok what do you do if you have a handsfree phone and you're talking on your cellphone while in some public place and its hard for people to tell u have a phone on your ear? i keep seeing people randomly talking to the air i never know if its a cellphone conversation or people going crazy. sometimes i respond to these ppl cuz i think theyre talking to me and then i feel stupid. | ||
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LaLuSh
Sweden2358 Posts
Logically you would assume socially outgoing persons would have more practice not being insecure. But I simply don't care what other people think about me in regards of me expressing my opions, making fun of myself, public speaking etc... And that's where it all stems from in my opinion. Whether you feel comfortable and confident enough in your being, your persona, to actually display a piece of your true self to other people. I actually think it's fun, and even amusing at times, staring into people's eyes. Mainly because you can almost sense their insecurity. I'd even go as far as saying that I do it just as much for the sake that it empowers me, that it endowes me with some twisted sense of self-confidence, than doing it just for the sake of being polite. While talking to other people, it always feels sort of ludicrous that such a trivial thing can offset them. Because to me it's so simple! I mean, I understand how hard it can be; I was extremely shy as a child and had the exact same problems (among others). But generally anyone who in an honest attempt has tried understanding how ridiculous the fear in itself is, and tried approaching the problem in a somewhat cognitivistic manner, basically meaning TRY IT AND SEE IF IT'LL KILL YOU, never regresses into fearing eye contact again. All it does is reveal that 90% of the people around you are just as scared as you were. | ||
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Rev0lution
United States1805 Posts
not with friends or classmates. Definitely with strangers though | ||
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Rev0lution
United States1805 Posts
true, my older brother does this to me when we travel. I feel like people are thinking he is gay or something LOL! | ||
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Rev0lution
United States1805 Posts
On May 08 2008 03:42 Texas wrote: i can easily look in girls´ eyes for minutes, no problem at all. never tried watching in eyes of men for minutes but dont have problem with starring in their eyes for some seconds. probably some self-confidence issue, i guess shy persons cant hold eye contact for minutes. hopefully its with friends, but random people on the street will think your harassing them... | ||
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