Someone told me that looking past someone's head, or at their forehead is a really good technique. It looks like you are looking them in the eye, but it doesnt feel as awkward/difficult for you. I never really thought to try it myself..

DwmC_Foefen

Belgium2186 Posts

May 07 2008 12:56 GMT

#23

Dont stare at their forehead, that's agressive. You have to be looking at their eyes or nosebridge or between the eyebrows. When making eyecontact, it shows that you are confident and have social savvy. Just look at salespeople, they always make eyecontact.

MultiRAX-

Sweden43 Posts

May 07 2008 13:01 GMT

#24

Practise by looking random ppl in the eye at the mall or any random public place..they will think ur weird but that dosnt matter, its just practise =)

It's defenitly a thing u can learn.

rpf

United States2705 Posts

May 07 2008 13:25 GMT

#25

Yes, and post the video.

Kennelie

United States2296 Posts

May 07 2008 13:28 GMT

#26

The problem I have is that I cannot trust another person that doesn't make eye contact. Especially if its to build a relationship with the other person. Other then the fact of eye ball fucking a girl which at least can open up a way of speaking to her I never had this problem of eye contact.

I always just thought about not giving a fuck about the other persons view about the eye contact.

Titusmaster6

United States5937 Posts

May 07 2008 13:39 GMT

#27

No, not really. I find girls to be more beautiful if you look at them more.

QuanticHawk

United States32157 Posts

May 07 2008 14:10 GMT

#28

Nah, but depending where you are, making eye contact for more than a second can get you in some trouble =x

bustaBust

Canada469 Posts

May 07 2008 14:15 GMT

#29

I actually don't look many people in the eye. Combination of bad skin and a sore neck (if I'm beside them). Thought if someones trying to intimidated me/its a really hot girl or something I make a point of making eye contact so I don't show any weakness. With my friends I don't really care.

If you have trouble looking people directly in the eyes, look in between them at the top of their nose. Looking anywhere else is kinda unnerving for the person your talking to.

mnm

United States4493 Posts

May 07 2008 14:43 GMT

#30

On May 07 2008 17:43 gg_hertzz wrote:
I admit, I've always had a terrible time looking at people's eyes when talking to them. I recently read that eye contact is one of the most important elements in conversations, creating and maintaining friendships,and giving people clues about your intentions.

So I recorded myself having a fake conversation. What I saw bothered me. Basically my eyes darted furiously around the room, I would roll my eyes and make gestures like something was bothering them. I barely maintained eye contact but I looked mentally disturbed.

I wonder if some of you guys have experiences or advice about this? And what do you feel about it? Have you thought about it at all or did it never cross your mind?

Can i see the video? =)

I was told, esp in NY, its good for safety reasons to make eye contact with everyone. Apparently it tells people you have confidence and you would probably fight back if people give you trouble. I had originally thought it was better to not look at people because it might provoke them. I am trying to look at people more though. As for talking to people on on one, I do believe I look them in the eye. Not 100% positive on this though. It just makes sense to me. Unless I'm tired and my eyes start wandering off.

wo0py

Netherlands922 Posts

May 07 2008 15:04 GMT

#31

i avoid on more then 20 ppl and i like straight when under. when im talking i try to focus on the ones im talking to. Its easier now then it was.. Just try to force yourself.

I think girls like guys who talk to them like they care. thye might base that on eye contact and such. Because girls tend to think i care about what they are telling me, while in most cases i dont ;-)

Anyway i think its good to try make eye contact. It's better.

SeBASTa

China1147 Posts

May 07 2008 15:12 GMT

#32

naturally I don't tend to do eye contact. But if I intended and planned to do it(means I want to make the person that I was going to talk to comfortable), it worked out pretty much well, of course, it's kinda painful for me myself...

MTF

United States1739 Posts

May 07 2008 15:18 GMT

#33

I really hate trying to talk to someone who doesn't make eye contact. It makes it seem like they're uninterested or meek, both of which are annoying traits to deal with when you're attempting to converse.

I've never had any problems with doing it myself, so I have no real experience with dealing with it as a personal issue. The most I can suggest doing is just reminding yourself when you talk with people to make eye contact (at least when they are talking) and making yourself do it. Naturally, it'd probably be easier to start with family and friends.

Djabanete

United States2786 Posts

May 07 2008 15:20 GMT

#34

There's a girl in my music group who will not, *will not*, catch my eye.

And she shows up late and leaves early. Every time.

LastWish

2015 Posts

May 07 2008 15:31 GMT

#35

I love to look in other person's eyes.
Whether they are beautiful or it's just a moment of strenth and power (remember some post regarding Reach and eyecontact, where the other person had to withdraw first).

Some women on the otherhand have two pairs of eyes. One on the front and one on the back - just on the butt to look at

mnm

United States4493 Posts

May 07 2008 15:32 GMT

#36

when ppl dont look at me when im talking to them i think theyre not paying attn -_-.

Liquid`Jinro

Sweden33719 Posts

May 07 2008 15:40 GMT

#37

EDIT: Man the more I think about it the more uncertain I am about what I do

I *think* I might look away sometimes when I need to think about what I'm going to say, and I *think* I look people in the eye when they are talking.

Knickknack

United States1187 Posts

May 07 2008 16:48 GMT

#38

I used to just not bother looking at others eyes. I'm introverted so I attach more meaning by my own thoughts, and don't really care if someone is looking at me or I'm looking at them most of the time. But like you say it is a very important part of communication. It is a mentally demanding task that takes some skill. Look up the study on wikipedia entry for eye contact where children who averted eye contact did better at mental processing.

But eye contact issues are pretty common really. Theres lots of advice out there, so now that you realized you have some issues just put it into practice.

http://www.bremercommunications.com/Eye_Contact.htm
http://www.sirc.org/publik/flirt.html scroll down some...

L!MP

Australia2067 Posts

May 07 2008 16:57 GMT

#39

thread is useless without the vid

caution.slip

United States775 Posts

May 07 2008 17:25 GMT

#40

eyecontact conveys confidence and approval. Pick one eye (i usually pick the right eye) and stick to it. Stay on it for as long as you're talking, if you mention something negative, look away (looking away is a physical indicator that what you said was negative)

Theres actually a such thing as too much eye contact, it can be intimidating to some people, but master holding eye contact first, then you can work on knowing the subtleties about it

On May 07 2008 21:49 Steelflight-Rx wrote:
Someone told me that looking past someone's head, or at their forehead is a really good technique. It looks like you are looking them in the eye, but it doesnt feel as awkward/difficult for you. I never really thought to try it myself..

disagree, you can tell when someone is looking past you, its not sincere, same thing with forehead, just pick one eye and stick with it. Don't dart back and forth, thats weird