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Why beating you kid isn't all that bad... - Page 4

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Ilikestarcraft
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
Korea (South)17732 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-10-03 18:01:54
October 03 2005 18:01 GMT
#61
Me too all i see is the same thing.
"Nana is a goddess. Or at very least, Nana is my goddess." - KazeHydra
Resonate
Profile Joined October 2002
United Kingdom8402 Posts
October 03 2005 18:08 GMT
#62
On October 03 2005 16:20 pheer wrote:
I want to slowly saw through that child's legs. Then his arms. Then I will bandage him and put his stump into a box of ants. The ants will eventually eat him. It would make me very happy.

People like that kid should DIE.

don't blame him too harshly, remember his parents are clearly massively to blame. A good bit of hard discipline could put this kid right
Memory lane in nice
bburn
Profile Joined September 2004
United States1039 Posts
October 03 2005 21:19 GMT
#63
On October 04 2005 01:51 Liquid`Drone wrote:
I think anyone whose children would advocate hitting a child did a bad job
no offense to anyone although im sure lots are offended

A spanking is a good deal different than hitting I would say...or would you disagree?
banana[AfO]
mitsy
Profile Joined October 2005
United States1792 Posts
October 03 2005 21:37 GMT
#64
the disadvantage of hitting is that parents who think hiting will do good tend to use it to relieve their own anger and not strictly because it is necessary for the development of the child. parents fool themselves too easily.
express yourself--madonna
Ukyko
Profile Joined November 2004
Netherlands163 Posts
October 03 2005 22:16 GMT
#65
Just pull the plug on the computer. No need to hit him.
Haemonculus
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
United States6980 Posts
October 03 2005 22:18 GMT
#66
Well in this case it's apparent that the kid's been spoiled rotten already... I dunno if he's beyond saving or what.

However I can safely say if I ever acted like that when I was 10-12 or w/e that kid is... ouch.

(btw this is another example of my point where pre-pubescent kids should not be allowed to own microphones)
I admire your commitment to being *very* oily
ItsHighTimes
Profile Joined July 2005
United States41 Posts
October 03 2005 23:40 GMT
#67
If this was George Foremans kid he wouldnt be acting up thats for damn sure
puff puff give
NewbSaibot
Profile Joined May 2004
3849 Posts
October 03 2005 23:52 GMT
#68
On October 04 2005 06:19 bburn wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 04 2005 01:51 Liquid`Drone wrote:
I think anyone whose children would advocate hitting a child did a bad job
no offense to anyone although im sure lots are offended

A spanking is a good deal different than hitting I would say...or would you disagree?
Go up to a fellow coworker next time they do something you dont approve of, and slap them. See what they consider it. Spanking is obviously extremely stressful and invokes great fear in children, fear that is totally unnecessary, and imo, severely twists them emotionally. I mean on the one hand you are their caregiver, they look to you for undying love and attention, they think you are amazing, and want to never be with anyone else but you. You are in essence, their true love. Then all the sudden you bring pain upon them? Swinging your arm at them in a way to make them break down into crybaby state, even when they are well past the age of throwing tantrums (which is a normal part of development, at the age of 2, when your brain begins experiencing new emotions and you dont know how to handle it all). I dunno, to me, hitting the one you love is sick. I see it as no different than hitting your own wife in the face because you think she needs to learn what not to do.

In modern society we usually educate people in what to do, as opposed to what not to do. My parents never spanked me. Instead they would lecture me, tell me about what i just did, explain it to me in their eyes, put me in their shoes, or whomever's shoes i might be offending, so that i could understand WHY i shouldnt do what im doing, rather than just "dont do that!". All spanking does is create a direct relationship between that one particular action and a consequence. If you spank a child for pouring milk on your 32" tv, then he will establish not to spill milk on a 32" tv. But he'll probably have no reservations about spilling OJ on your stereo, because thats not a 32" tv which he was explicitely told not to do.

But if you explain to him that this tv is property, one which you worked hard for and paid for, and enjoy, and he enjoys, and that you like it very much and prefer to keep it working, and that milk makes a mess and causes you work to clean up, which makes you unhappy, and that theres a strong possibility you will become unhappy as a result, by cleaning it up yourself, or not having a nice tv to watch, then next time the child is more likely to consider all the possible variables in his actions and make an intelligent decision about if he really wants to do this or not, because his brain has grown accustomed to considering the implications of his actions, and not just worrying about what might happen to himself.
I went to the chippy last night and only orderd chips because I knew I could get fish from her bushy plate.
lil.sis
Profile Blog Joined March 2005
China4650 Posts
October 03 2005 23:56 GMT
#69
you never hit your child in the face

that's what asses are for

there's a big difference between spanking a child and abusing a child

we're not talking about putting faces on stove burners here

we're talking about spankings

my parents did it to me and i am glad they did. i turned out just fine. and if the situation calls for it, my kids won't be exempt from it either
好好喝喝天天快乐
lil.sis
Profile Blog Joined March 2005
China4650 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-10-03 23:58:51
October 03 2005 23:58 GMT
#70
All spanking does is create a direct relationship between that one particular action and a consequence. If you spank a child for pouring milk on your 32" tv, then he will establish not to spill milk on a 32" tv. But he'll probably have no reservations about spilling OJ on your stereo, because thats not a 32" tv which he was explicitely told not to do.


This by the way is completely retarded and obviously wrong
好好喝喝天天快乐
bburn
Profile Joined September 2004
United States1039 Posts
October 04 2005 00:00 GMT
#71
On October 04 2005 08:52 NewbSaibot wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 04 2005 06:19 bburn wrote:
On October 04 2005 01:51 Liquid`Drone wrote:
I think anyone whose children would advocate hitting a child did a bad job
no offense to anyone although im sure lots are offended

A spanking is a good deal different than hitting I would say...or would you disagree?
Go up to a fellow coworker next time they do something you dont approve of, and slap them. See what they consider it. Spanking is obviously extremely stressful and invokes great fear in children, fear that is totally unnecessary, and imo, severely twists them emotionally. I mean on the one hand you are their caregiver, they look to you for undying love and attention, they think you are amazing, and want to never be with anyone else but you. You are in essence, their true love. Then all the sudden you bring pain upon them? Swinging your arm at them in a way to make them break down into crybaby state, even when they are well past the age of throwing tantrums (which is a normal part of development, at the age of 2, when your brain begins experiencing new emotions and you dont know how to handle it all). I dunno, to me, hitting the one you love is sick. I see it as no different than hitting your own wife in the face because you think she needs to learn what not to do.

In modern society we usually educate people in what to do, as opposed to what not to do. My parents never spanked me. Instead they would lecture me, tell me about what i just did, explain it to me in their eyes, put me in their shoes, or whomever's shoes i might be offending, so that i could understand WHY i shouldnt do what im doing, rather than just "dont do that!". All spanking does is create a direct relationship between that one particular action and a consequence. If you spank a child for pouring milk on your 32" tv, then he will establish not to spill milk on a 32" tv. But he'll probably have no reservations about spilling OJ on your stereo, because thats not a 32" tv which he was explicitely told not to do.

But if you explain to him that this tv is property, one which you worked hard for and paid for, and enjoy, and he enjoys, and that you like it very much and prefer to keep it working, and that milk makes a mess and causes you work to clean up, which makes you unhappy, and that theres a strong possibility you will become unhappy as a result, by cleaning it up yourself, or not having a nice tv to watch, then next time the child is more likely to consider all the possible variables in his actions and make an intelligent decision about if he really wants to do this or not, because his brain has grown accustomed to considering the implications of his actions, and not just worrying about what might happen to himself.


It seems to me that those of use who were spanked seem to approve of it for the most part while those that weren't don't for the most part. Although as my father once told me and now I believe to be true "Pain makes man think, thought makes man wise, wisdom makes life bearable."
banana[AfO]
Liquid`Drone
Profile Joined September 2002
Norway28727 Posts
October 04 2005 00:01 GMT
#72
it was a bad example

hitting/spanking your child teaches your child to not get caught doing what he wasn't supposed to do as much as it teaches him not to do it
and it also teaches that violence is a proper way to respond when someone does something bad towards you.
Moderator
bburn
Profile Joined September 2004
United States1039 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-10-04 00:06:12
October 04 2005 00:05 GMT
#73
On October 04 2005 09:01 Liquid`Drone wrote:
it was a bad example

hitting/spanking your child teaches your child to not get caught doing what he wasn't supposed to do as much as it teaches him not to do it
and it also teaches that violence is a proper way to respond when someone does something bad towards you.

So how would you react if you expalin why a certain action is wrong, one that may put their lives in danger such as running into a road after a ball. An they go and do it again. Would it not be logical for you to want them to have fear of that action? As they should fear for the lives but are not yet mentally developed enough to fully understand the danger.
banana[AfO]
MoltkeWarding
Profile Joined November 2003
5195 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-10-04 00:10:04
October 04 2005 00:06 GMT
#74
On October 04 2005 09:01 Liquid`Drone wrote:
it was a bad example

hitting/spanking your child teaches your child to not get caught doing what he wasn't supposed to do as much as it teaches him not to do it
and it also teaches that violence is a proper way to respond when someone does something bad towards you.


Why is it drone is always looking for the loopholes by which people can behave like rascals?

Dont ban drugs, it will just make more people do it
Dont spank, it will just make people steal more cookies in the middle of night

They say that all knowledge begins with self-knowledge

I really need to get to know the nuances of this "less is more" strategy to life.
NewbSaibot
Profile Joined May 2004
3849 Posts
October 04 2005 00:06 GMT
#75
if spanking worked, then it wouldnt be necessary. 1 spanking should cure a child for all time. A kid knows whats bad and what isnt, they simply test you to see what they can get away with. "oh, this warrants a spanking, ok, i wont do that" or "i can do this without getting a spanking, therefore ill do it". All spanking does is form a million little nuances for the child to contemplate on, after he's received a few hundred or thousand spankings, he has enough information built up on what he can and cant do. This is like programming a machine. All you can do is prepare it varried list with enough events so that it can operate.

Imagine if you got a spanking for getting a problem wrong in algebra. Well, you would know that your solution was wrong, and not to do it that way anymore. But thankfully teachers explain to us the right way to do it instead. Im sure with enough spankings in math class you could eventually solve your own theorems based on all the collected things you have done wrong, and avoid all those. Essentially being successful by process of elimination. This is how i see the thinking process for a spanked child and an educated child.

The kid in the video was not the result of a lack of spankings. It was the result of a lack of any guidance whatsoever, just left to fend for himself in the emotional world. When he faces a problem or gets angry, he cant deal with it, and just breaks down into shouting to hope that his problem solves itself, i.e. his mom getting him a drink or doing whatever he wants. And he is far from ruined. I'd say about a month of proper supervision and effort on the part of both parents counselling him and sitting through his initial tirades when you try to speak to him and he'd start to calm down.
I went to the chippy last night and only orderd chips because I knew I could get fish from her bushy plate.
lil.sis
Profile Blog Joined March 2005
China4650 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-10-04 00:13:19
October 04 2005 00:09 GMT
#76
i dont know about that second statement drone

i think more than anything else it teaches you to respect your parents

otherwise all you get from them are empty threats

my girlfriend's little brother is a perfect example of this. kid has never been spanked in his life. now he's hit puberty and he's a complete fucking little pisser. he will hit his mother and throw things at her as if they were peers in the household. the mother can't do anything to control him because it is now she who is afraid of him

i was spanked probably before i could talk. of course not extended belt spankings like older children warrant, but just a swift palm to a diaper-padded bottom. that was enough. when i was old enough to be bigger than her (13-15) and we had a lot of conflicts, i wouldn't dare disrespect my mother, or call her a bitch, or say fuck you.... nevermind raise a hand to her!

the household is hierarchical and children should know their place.

none of this "we are all equals" bullshit until they are paying bills

edit:

in response to the above poster ->

it's not like you do something wrong, and then your parents spank you without saying anything and leave you to soak in your misery

99/100 times you know what you did was wrong and why

but an explanation follows after the situation has calmed down to reinforce
好好喝喝天天快乐
NewbSaibot
Profile Joined May 2004
3849 Posts
October 04 2005 00:11 GMT
#77
As they should fear for the lives but are not yet mentally developed enough to fully understand the danger.
This is the one grey area. Can a child be taught/lectured to at such a young age where you feel you must correct his behavior. Obviously nobody spanks an infant shitting himself and throwing a knife at your head, he is beyond comprehension. But consider a child can learn a language without any teaching whatsoever in as little as 2 years. The human brain is amazing, and once someone has reached the cognisant level where you can begin to spank/teach them, i truely believe they can be reasoned with already. It's a little different than just talking to them in plain english, but it sinks in. Again we're talking at early ages like 3-5, when kids dont know what to do and blatently do unacceptable things. If you spank a child past the age of 10 there is something seriously wrong with your kid if he's that much of a hellion to hurt animals or attack others, or that much of an idiot to walk into a busy highway or set the house on fire.
I went to the chippy last night and only orderd chips because I knew I could get fish from her bushy plate.
bburn
Profile Joined September 2004
United States1039 Posts
October 04 2005 00:15 GMT
#78
On October 04 2005 09:06 NewbSaibot wrote:
Imagine if you got a spanking for getting a problem wrong in algebra. Well, you would know that your solution was wrong, and not to do it that way anymore. But thankfully teachers explain to us the right way to do it instead. Im sure with enough spankings in math class you could eventually solve your own theorems based on all the collected things you have done wrong, and avoid all those. Essentially being successful by process of elimination. This is how i see the thinking process for a spanked child and an educated child.

How about if a child does not do their algebra homework, and is getting poor grades as a result. The child has been told multiple times that not doing their homework is adversly impacting their grade, and the continue not to do it. What I am saying is some kids just don't give a shit about their grades in school as they are not yet at the point in their lives were they can forsee the value of their education, could a spanking not encourage the child to do their homework even if they cannont understand the reason for doing it to begin with?
banana[AfO]
NewbSaibot
Profile Joined May 2004
3849 Posts
October 04 2005 00:17 GMT
#79
i think spanking doesn the exact opposite of enforce respect. i think it enforces utter disrespect. It makes the child angry at you, and makes them resent you for hurting them for something they either felt was acceptable, or that they wanted to do anyway. Notice at no point in here is the thought process of "oh, maybe i shouldnt do this because its mean, or hurts someone else, or is bad for my future" and so forth. I never hit my mother or cursed at her or anything like that either. Know why? Not because i was afraid of disrespecting her because shes the mother fuckin man and can kick my ass, but rather because i love her and wouldnt want her to feel as bad as i would feel if someone did the same thing to me. Especially since she's been nice to me all these years... (guess what, she was never spanked either, and all 5 of her brothers and sisters are angels as adults, as are their children).

Again lil'sis, you are drawing conclusions of bad behavior on a lack of spanking. Children become out of control quite quickly when they have no guidance or structure. Im not suggesting children should be considered equals, not at all. When i have kids it will be made quite clear that i have an extremely high intelligence advantage on them from my age and life experiences, and that im basically always right. And in the rare instances im not right, i have earned the right to do whatever i want by living this long, and putting food on the table. If they want to physically deny me my right to control them, by saying theyre moving out at 14 or something, i will physically reprimand them and lock them in their bedroom and board the windows shut if i have to, because the law allows me to, and life isnt fair.

With your girlfriends wreckless brother, his problems are the result of his mother having never done anything to stop his behavior.
I went to the chippy last night and only orderd chips because I knew I could get fish from her bushy plate.
NewbSaibot
Profile Joined May 2004
3849 Posts
October 04 2005 00:22 GMT
#80
On October 04 2005 09:15 bburn wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 04 2005 09:06 NewbSaibot wrote:
Imagine if you got a spanking for getting a problem wrong in algebra. Well, you would know that your solution was wrong, and not to do it that way anymore. But thankfully teachers explain to us the right way to do it instead. Im sure with enough spankings in math class you could eventually solve your own theorems based on all the collected things you have done wrong, and avoid all those. Essentially being successful by process of elimination. This is how i see the thinking process for a spanked child and an educated child.

How about if a child does not do their algebra homework, and is getting poor grades as a result. The child has been told multiple times that not doing their homework is adversly impacting their grade, and the continue not to do it. What I am saying is some kids just don't give a shit about their grades in school as they are not yet at the point in their lives were they can forsee the value of their education, could a spanking not encourage the child to do their homework even if they cannont understand the reason for doing it to begin with?
I can sort of relate to this, as i sucked in school for a brief amount of time. But it had nothing to do with lack of foresight (which i aggree, i did not have), the reason was a mild form of depression. I wasnt doing schoolwork because i was unhappy in school and at home. Once i becaume enthusiastic about life again, i was more than happy to do my schoolwork, because getting good grades made me feel good. It made the teachers like me, it made my fellow classmates respect me, and it made my parents smile at me. Plus it kept me from the stress of "what happens if i do bad on this, will the teachers get involved? will be principals get involved? could i even be held back a grade? How embarassing" etc etc. I dont think spankers look at the problems deep enough. Not doing schoolwork is usually not something as simple as you didnt feel like it. Whereas getting a fight with another student can be pretty impulsory.
I went to the chippy last night and only orderd chips because I knew I could get fish from her bushy plate.
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