Why beating you kid isn't all that bad... - Page 4
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Ilikestarcraft
Korea (South)17727 Posts
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Resonate
United Kingdom8402 Posts
On October 03 2005 16:20 pheer wrote: I want to slowly saw through that child's legs. Then his arms. Then I will bandage him and put his stump into a box of ants. The ants will eventually eat him. It would make me very happy. People like that kid should DIE. don't blame him too harshly, remember his parents are clearly massively to blame. A good bit of hard discipline could put this kid right | ||
bburn
United States1039 Posts
On October 04 2005 01:51 Liquid`Drone wrote: I think anyone whose children would advocate hitting a child did a bad job no offense to anyone although im sure lots are offended A spanking is a good deal different than hitting I would say...or would you disagree? | ||
mitsy
United States1792 Posts
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Ukyko
Netherlands163 Posts
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Haemonculus
United States6980 Posts
However I can safely say if I ever acted like that when I was 10-12 or w/e that kid is... ouch. (btw this is another example of my point where pre-pubescent kids should not be allowed to own microphones) | ||
ItsHighTimes
United States41 Posts
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NewbSaibot
3849 Posts
On October 04 2005 06:19 bburn wrote: Go up to a fellow coworker next time they do something you dont approve of, and slap them. See what they consider it. Spanking is obviously extremely stressful and invokes great fear in children, fear that is totally unnecessary, and imo, severely twists them emotionally. I mean on the one hand you are their caregiver, they look to you for undying love and attention, they think you are amazing, and want to never be with anyone else but you. You are in essence, their true love. Then all the sudden you bring pain upon them? Swinging your arm at them in a way to make them break down into crybaby state, even when they are well past the age of throwing tantrums (which is a normal part of development, at the age of 2, when your brain begins experiencing new emotions and you dont know how to handle it all). I dunno, to me, hitting the one you love is sick. I see it as no different than hitting your own wife in the face because you think she needs to learn what not to do. A spanking is a good deal different than hitting I would say...or would you disagree? In modern society we usually educate people in what to do, as opposed to what not to do. My parents never spanked me. Instead they would lecture me, tell me about what i just did, explain it to me in their eyes, put me in their shoes, or whomever's shoes i might be offending, so that i could understand WHY i shouldnt do what im doing, rather than just "dont do that!". All spanking does is create a direct relationship between that one particular action and a consequence. If you spank a child for pouring milk on your 32" tv, then he will establish not to spill milk on a 32" tv. But he'll probably have no reservations about spilling OJ on your stereo, because thats not a 32" tv which he was explicitely told not to do. But if you explain to him that this tv is property, one which you worked hard for and paid for, and enjoy, and he enjoys, and that you like it very much and prefer to keep it working, and that milk makes a mess and causes you work to clean up, which makes you unhappy, and that theres a strong possibility you will become unhappy as a result, by cleaning it up yourself, or not having a nice tv to watch, then next time the child is more likely to consider all the possible variables in his actions and make an intelligent decision about if he really wants to do this or not, because his brain has grown accustomed to considering the implications of his actions, and not just worrying about what might happen to himself. | ||
lil.sis
China4650 Posts
that's what asses are for there's a big difference between spanking a child and abusing a child we're not talking about putting faces on stove burners here we're talking about spankings my parents did it to me and i am glad they did. i turned out just fine. and if the situation calls for it, my kids won't be exempt from it either | ||
lil.sis
China4650 Posts
All spanking does is create a direct relationship between that one particular action and a consequence. If you spank a child for pouring milk on your 32" tv, then he will establish not to spill milk on a 32" tv. But he'll probably have no reservations about spilling OJ on your stereo, because thats not a 32" tv which he was explicitely told not to do. This by the way is completely retarded and obviously wrong | ||
bburn
United States1039 Posts
On October 04 2005 08:52 NewbSaibot wrote: Go up to a fellow coworker next time they do something you dont approve of, and slap them. See what they consider it. Spanking is obviously extremely stressful and invokes great fear in children, fear that is totally unnecessary, and imo, severely twists them emotionally. I mean on the one hand you are their caregiver, they look to you for undying love and attention, they think you are amazing, and want to never be with anyone else but you. You are in essence, their true love. Then all the sudden you bring pain upon them? Swinging your arm at them in a way to make them break down into crybaby state, even when they are well past the age of throwing tantrums (which is a normal part of development, at the age of 2, when your brain begins experiencing new emotions and you dont know how to handle it all). I dunno, to me, hitting the one you love is sick. I see it as no different than hitting your own wife in the face because you think she needs to learn what not to do. In modern society we usually educate people in what to do, as opposed to what not to do. My parents never spanked me. Instead they would lecture me, tell me about what i just did, explain it to me in their eyes, put me in their shoes, or whomever's shoes i might be offending, so that i could understand WHY i shouldnt do what im doing, rather than just "dont do that!". All spanking does is create a direct relationship between that one particular action and a consequence. If you spank a child for pouring milk on your 32" tv, then he will establish not to spill milk on a 32" tv. But he'll probably have no reservations about spilling OJ on your stereo, because thats not a 32" tv which he was explicitely told not to do. But if you explain to him that this tv is property, one which you worked hard for and paid for, and enjoy, and he enjoys, and that you like it very much and prefer to keep it working, and that milk makes a mess and causes you work to clean up, which makes you unhappy, and that theres a strong possibility you will become unhappy as a result, by cleaning it up yourself, or not having a nice tv to watch, then next time the child is more likely to consider all the possible variables in his actions and make an intelligent decision about if he really wants to do this or not, because his brain has grown accustomed to considering the implications of his actions, and not just worrying about what might happen to himself. It seems to me that those of use who were spanked seem to approve of it for the most part while those that weren't don't for the most part. Although as my father once told me and now I believe to be true "Pain makes man think, thought makes man wise, wisdom makes life bearable." | ||
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Liquid`Drone
Norway28672 Posts
hitting/spanking your child teaches your child to not get caught doing what he wasn't supposed to do as much as it teaches him not to do it and it also teaches that violence is a proper way to respond when someone does something bad towards you. | ||
bburn
United States1039 Posts
On October 04 2005 09:01 Liquid`Drone wrote: it was a bad example hitting/spanking your child teaches your child to not get caught doing what he wasn't supposed to do as much as it teaches him not to do it and it also teaches that violence is a proper way to respond when someone does something bad towards you. So how would you react if you expalin why a certain action is wrong, one that may put their lives in danger such as running into a road after a ball. An they go and do it again. Would it not be logical for you to want them to have fear of that action? As they should fear for the lives but are not yet mentally developed enough to fully understand the danger. | ||
MoltkeWarding
5195 Posts
On October 04 2005 09:01 Liquid`Drone wrote: it was a bad example hitting/spanking your child teaches your child to not get caught doing what he wasn't supposed to do as much as it teaches him not to do it and it also teaches that violence is a proper way to respond when someone does something bad towards you. Why is it drone is always looking for the loopholes by which people can behave like rascals? Dont ban drugs, it will just make more people do it Dont spank, it will just make people steal more cookies in the middle of night They say that all knowledge begins with self-knowledge ![]() I really need to get to know the nuances of this "less is more" strategy to life. | ||
NewbSaibot
3849 Posts
Imagine if you got a spanking for getting a problem wrong in algebra. Well, you would know that your solution was wrong, and not to do it that way anymore. But thankfully teachers explain to us the right way to do it instead. Im sure with enough spankings in math class you could eventually solve your own theorems based on all the collected things you have done wrong, and avoid all those. Essentially being successful by process of elimination. This is how i see the thinking process for a spanked child and an educated child. The kid in the video was not the result of a lack of spankings. It was the result of a lack of any guidance whatsoever, just left to fend for himself in the emotional world. When he faces a problem or gets angry, he cant deal with it, and just breaks down into shouting to hope that his problem solves itself, i.e. his mom getting him a drink or doing whatever he wants. And he is far from ruined. I'd say about a month of proper supervision and effort on the part of both parents counselling him and sitting through his initial tirades when you try to speak to him and he'd start to calm down. | ||
lil.sis
China4650 Posts
i think more than anything else it teaches you to respect your parents otherwise all you get from them are empty threats my girlfriend's little brother is a perfect example of this. kid has never been spanked in his life. now he's hit puberty and he's a complete fucking little pisser. he will hit his mother and throw things at her as if they were peers in the household. the mother can't do anything to control him because it is now she who is afraid of him i was spanked probably before i could talk. of course not extended belt spankings like older children warrant, but just a swift palm to a diaper-padded bottom. that was enough. when i was old enough to be bigger than her (13-15) and we had a lot of conflicts, i wouldn't dare disrespect my mother, or call her a bitch, or say fuck you.... nevermind raise a hand to her! the household is hierarchical and children should know their place. none of this "we are all equals" bullshit until they are paying bills edit: in response to the above poster -> it's not like you do something wrong, and then your parents spank you without saying anything and leave you to soak in your misery 99/100 times you know what you did was wrong and why but an explanation follows after the situation has calmed down to reinforce | ||
NewbSaibot
3849 Posts
As they should fear for the lives but are not yet mentally developed enough to fully understand the danger. This is the one grey area. Can a child be taught/lectured to at such a young age where you feel you must correct his behavior. Obviously nobody spanks an infant shitting himself and throwing a knife at your head, he is beyond comprehension. But consider a child can learn a language without any teaching whatsoever in as little as 2 years. The human brain is amazing, and once someone has reached the cognisant level where you can begin to spank/teach them, i truely believe they can be reasoned with already. It's a little different than just talking to them in plain english, but it sinks in. Again we're talking at early ages like 3-5, when kids dont know what to do and blatently do unacceptable things. If you spank a child past the age of 10 there is something seriously wrong with your kid if he's that much of a hellion to hurt animals or attack others, or that much of an idiot to walk into a busy highway or set the house on fire. | ||
bburn
United States1039 Posts
On October 04 2005 09:06 NewbSaibot wrote: Imagine if you got a spanking for getting a problem wrong in algebra. Well, you would know that your solution was wrong, and not to do it that way anymore. But thankfully teachers explain to us the right way to do it instead. Im sure with enough spankings in math class you could eventually solve your own theorems based on all the collected things you have done wrong, and avoid all those. Essentially being successful by process of elimination. This is how i see the thinking process for a spanked child and an educated child. How about if a child does not do their algebra homework, and is getting poor grades as a result. The child has been told multiple times that not doing their homework is adversly impacting their grade, and the continue not to do it. What I am saying is some kids just don't give a shit about their grades in school as they are not yet at the point in their lives were they can forsee the value of their education, could a spanking not encourage the child to do their homework even if they cannont understand the reason for doing it to begin with? | ||
NewbSaibot
3849 Posts
Again lil'sis, you are drawing conclusions of bad behavior on a lack of spanking. Children become out of control quite quickly when they have no guidance or structure. Im not suggesting children should be considered equals, not at all. When i have kids it will be made quite clear that i have an extremely high intelligence advantage on them from my age and life experiences, and that im basically always right. And in the rare instances im not right, i have earned the right to do whatever i want by living this long, and putting food on the table. If they want to physically deny me my right to control them, by saying theyre moving out at 14 or something, i will physically reprimand them and lock them in their bedroom and board the windows shut if i have to, because the law allows me to, and life isnt fair. With your girlfriends wreckless brother, his problems are the result of his mother having never done anything to stop his behavior. | ||
NewbSaibot
3849 Posts
On October 04 2005 09:15 bburn wrote: I can sort of relate to this, as i sucked in school for a brief amount of time. But it had nothing to do with lack of foresight (which i aggree, i did not have), the reason was a mild form of depression. I wasnt doing schoolwork because i was unhappy in school and at home. Once i becaume enthusiastic about life again, i was more than happy to do my schoolwork, because getting good grades made me feel good. It made the teachers like me, it made my fellow classmates respect me, and it made my parents smile at me. Plus it kept me from the stress of "what happens if i do bad on this, will the teachers get involved? will be principals get involved? could i even be held back a grade? How embarassing" etc etc. I dont think spankers look at the problems deep enough. Not doing schoolwork is usually not something as simple as you didnt feel like it. Whereas getting a fight with another student can be pretty impulsory. How about if a child does not do their algebra homework, and is getting poor grades as a result. The child has been told multiple times that not doing their homework is adversly impacting their grade, and the continue not to do it. What I am saying is some kids just don't give a shit about their grades in school as they are not yet at the point in their lives were they can forsee the value of their education, could a spanking not encourage the child to do their homework even if they cannont understand the reason for doing it to begin with? | ||
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