Dating: How's your luck? - Page 998

On August 07 2018 00:36 L_Master wrote:


I think you're exaggerating quite a bit, or more likely it's a combination of other factors if that dramatic of a difference happened. More likely, you got a little better looking and got a little more attention than before. Only way I see this really happening like you described is if you lost a ton of fat of your face while simultaneously getting an absolute top tier body. If that's the case, yea you probably get a decent number of people checking you out.



I disagree that the physical aspect is the "most important by far". Online, where you're being judged left or right by some pics, sure. In real life, not so much. Especially in real life the way most people are meeting women. If you're just picking women up for casual sex from clubs or bars, I agree to an extent. Physical attractiveness makes a bigger difference there again because you're not talking that much in those environments.

However, the majority of people as far as I can tell aren't really looking for these things and are meeting women more conventionally through various social channels: friend groups, classes, shared activities, etc. In these places where you have plenty of time to get to know each other, physical attractiveness is far, far less important.

The idea you don't need "game" or "personality" if you're good looking is ridiculous in any normal context for any normal guy. If you're a top tier looking guy, I'm talking like 1 in a 100k type looks or something, then yes many women will throw themselves at you, especially in online/club/bar/hookup environments. However, you won't be able to get anything long term if you're personality is trash. For just normal "good looking" people, personality matters quite a bit, even if trying to hookup. A typical 1 in 10 good looking dude that goes to the club would get nowhere if his personality/confidence were shit. Nowhere. It would be even more of a disaster if he was looking for a girlfriend through more traditional social circle means.

Tl;dr: Looks matter, especially online/bar/club/hookup goals. Personality matters, significantly, for all but ridiculously attractive actor tier dudes looking exclusively for hookups. The idea that personality doesn't matter if you're "good-looking" is ridiculous.

On August 07 2018 04:21 sc-darkness wrote:
Hypothetical question, if you're with 2 or more girls and you like one of them, is it a good idea to pay more attention to others to tease her? Does that work most of the time? I'm curious if there is some data to back it up.

On August 07 2018 04:59 sc-darkness wrote:
Well, that scenario would pretty much be "hard to get", and you know that saying that you shouldn't be too available.. I can see it backfiring, yes. I guess I was curious when this could ever work unless you know the person very well as you say.

On August 07 2018 02:38 Excludos wrote:


I agree for the most part that these terms aren't clearly defined, but there are few cases where they can be legitimately used as well so you're better off steering away from them in the first place. If you want to define someone who's attractive, charming and socially adept as "alpha" then sure, but just proclaiming someone as "alpha" doesn't actually tell anyone anything, and 99% of the use cases for that word is meant to degrade someone else, so it's much better to just steer clear of it. Incel is pretty much the same, except the exact opposite. It's never a word to use if you want to give someone an actual advice, as it doesn't tell anyone anything, and the vast majority of people who uses it tends to either view it negatively or be in the group you described above with a lacking grasp of reality.

The reason I'm purposefully "rather useless soundbite" is because I didn't want to contribute to a conversation which should be stopping. This thread is on thin ice already, and throwing around these bad phrases and words are a great way of getting it locked again.

And yes, I have been reading the posts, and I stand by my original first "useless soundbite": The world isn't nearly as black and white as half of you seem to think it is. You can't just proclaim that "girls like alphas" or "after lifting I'm swimming in pussy". It's not very helpful advice.

On August 02 2018 15:16 ThunderJunk wrote:


Yeah man. I would love to know how to change myself to avoid having this happen again. With no specific feedback, it's really tricky. I think it is a good thing to let it go, not overthink it, and just try again with other people. If I connect sincerely, then losing that connection hurts. No way around that. I went over in my mind a few times what might have went wrong, but at the end of the day if it was meant to work out it would, and it didn't, so I need to let it go. No other choice.

I've come to this conclusion: The mature thing is generally to provide feedback, but it's also tricky because so many men tilt towards anger to dominate. So, how is she supposed to know I'm not that kind of guy? With no mutual friends, I can't expect to learn anything from anyone. I can just be what I am and get what I get from that. Deeper relationships require shared perspectives, like from mutual friends, to keep things consistent enough off which to base meaning through an adaptive use of trust. Or blind dumb luck, as in a leap of faith. Australian girl was not willing to make such a leap for me for reasons I will never be sure of.

On August 08 2018 03:47 bloodwhore~ wrote:
Went on a date yesterday. Nothing super special but I thought it was enjoyable. No massive sparks on the first date, we basically just sat and drank wine and talked for a few hours. I thought she was cuter in real than in her pictures. She was a bit hasty when she talked though. We got into the conversation about AI and she was pretty convinced almost to the point of being scared that AI would someday take over and destroy the human race. I mean, even if you do believe that, chill, won't happen for many years to come.

Asked her if she wanted to meet up this weekend today, but she is going away to another city for a while. Asked her about another day and she said "We can talk about it more when I get back.". Can't say I feel like she has been very interested since we met, so I am like 70% sure she will not want to meet up again.

On August 08 2018 04:22 IgnE wrote:
if you believe the apocalypse is really coming the last thing you should do is chill.

On August 08 2018 04:57 LegalLord wrote:

A useful platitude at least. Perhaps it’s more precisely correct to say “be comfortable with who you are and don’t try to pretend to be someone you’re not under the perception it will make you more attractive.” That, at least, is the goal.