EPTI haven't read the book, and I don't intend to. He's a smart guy, and a big name in psychology at least because of his controversial study, but that book cries old person. It's the same idea as rock n roll killing chivalry or etiquette among young people. Online porn may be bad, it might not be, the case isn't closed just yet. Arguing that our connectivity and the internet in general makes us draw away from society is the kind of hilarious irony that psychologists love to use when they draw conclusions. There's no reason to hail it as a breakthrough just yet.
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 620
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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docvoc
United States5491 Posts
I haven't read the book, and I don't intend to. He's a smart guy, and a big name in psychology at least because of his controversial study, but that book cries old person. It's the same idea as rock n roll killing chivalry or etiquette among young people. Online porn may be bad, it might not be, the case isn't closed just yet. Arguing that our connectivity and the internet in general makes us draw away from society is the kind of hilarious irony that psychologists love to use when they draw conclusions. There's no reason to hail it as a breakthrough just yet. | ||
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evilfatsh1t
Australia8904 Posts
On April 15 2015 11:23 shin_toss wrote: Any Korean guys here? Can I get general tips for dating Korean girl? (were Not yet dating but yeah I want to be positive) Thanks :D :D still need help? | ||
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arb
Noobville17922 Posts
On May 19 2015 10:46 Impervious wrote: Wait, this isn't normal? Cause that describes me and every "relationship" I've attempted..... dunno feel like you shouldnt be spending 24/7 together at the start though tbh. living with someone is alot different than just staying with someone once in a while though | ||
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mecrotq
Canada121 Posts
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ghrur
United States3786 Posts
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On May 21 2015 05:38 arb wrote: dunno feel like you shouldnt be spending 24/7 together at the start though tbh. living with someone is alot different than just staying with someone once in a while though Yeah pace yourself at start man. I find leaving 5-7 days between dates with very little contact inbetween builds up attraction for me and her too, and being together is WAY more intense afterwards from both sides. I'm seeing 2 chicks - one played games, let me do all initiating (and I did if for dates only more or less) went with the 1x per week thing. And I'm crazy about her, love planning stuff, and pretty much fell for her some 7 weeks later, and it's mutual. And I can tell you what we did on every single date in detail. The other one called me out for being a dick for never texting/contacting her, tried to move fast, seen me more often, we talked a lot over the phone etc. and now 3 weeks later I feel what you feel and she pretty much friend zoned herself, and the attraction is just not there even tho she's hot as all hell and smart/interesting. | ||
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puerk
Germany855 Posts
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
 The space between dates at start is a pretty big thing tho that takes discipline but is totally worth it | ||
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God Killer v2
United States434 Posts
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46210 Posts
On May 22 2015 06:19 God Killer v2 wrote: Just got a date this Saturday, hope I don't screw it up Haha hopefully not! What are you two doing on this date? | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On May 22 2015 06:29 DarkPlasmaBall wrote: Haha hopefully not! What are you two doing on this date? Good creative date ideas btw? | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46210 Posts
For a first date, I'm a fan of anything that promotes talking and laughing. Could be going out for coffee/ a meal, could be bowling/ mini-golf... pretty much anything except going to a movie theater, as you spend 2 hours sitting in the dark and not getting to know or bond with the person you're out on a date with. | ||
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ttk
United States3 Posts
I live in a suburby area (so not a city) and take classes at a local college. I find meeting girls to be incredibly hard and especially girls that are my age (20). | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46210 Posts
On May 22 2015 11:19 ttk wrote: Any tips for meeting girls? I live in a suburby area (so not a city) and take classes at a local college. I find meeting girls to be incredibly hard and especially girls that are my age (20). Perhaps in your classes? You'll already have a common interest, and can study/ get coffee together sometime? Are you in the USA? Just asking because I guess you'd need to wait a year before you can meet girls at a bar/ club (although those are both great places if you can get in). What else do you do in your spare time? Any hobbies that are outdoors or in a group (e.g., sports, gym) can increase your chance of meeting girls. There's also online dating, but I have zero experience with that. | ||
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ttk
United States3 Posts
On May 22 2015 11:21 DarkPlasmaBall wrote: Perhaps in your classes? You'll already have a common interest, and can study/ get coffee together sometime? Are you in the USA? Just asking because I guess you'd need to wait a year before you can meet girls at a bar/ club (although those are both great places if you can get in). What else do you do in your spare time? Any hobbies that are outdoors or in a group (e.g., sports, gym) can increase your chance of meeting girls. There's also online dating, but I have zero experience with that. I'm an engineering major so of the small amount of girls in my classes are either taken or not that interesting. I haven't played sports in about a year and the gym I go to is pretty vacant because I go during lunch. I've been tempted to try one of the 'adult' sports leagues but it looks like it's filled with people who are 30+ or older. When I look around online for groups for younger people all I can find are semi-pro leagues which is not what I'm interested. | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46210 Posts
On May 22 2015 11:42 ttk wrote: I'm an engineering major so of the small amount of girls in my classes are either taken or not that interesting. I haven't played sports in about a year and the gym I go to is pretty vacant because I go during lunch. I've been tempted to try one of the 'adult' sports leagues but it looks like it's filled with people who are 30+ or older. When I look around online for groups for younger people all I can find are semi-pro leagues which is not what I'm interested. Do you also work too? Perhaps at your job? I was a math major so I feel your pain as far as the male/ female ratio goes. Quite frankly (and I know this isn't what you're asking, so I apologize in advance), I recommend just finishing up/ focusing on your degree now and you'll have an easier time when you're 21 (bar/ club) and a graduate (can meet women at work). I wouldn't completely dismiss other outdoor/ group activities or online dating though. | ||
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GreenHorizons
United States24135 Posts
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46210 Posts
On May 22 2015 11:50 GreenHorizons wrote: Another option is finding a girl that you think you would be interesting in being friends with and hope she has friends she can introduce you to. That could work, although it sounds a little bit creepy to make a new female friend just to use her to get to her other friends. It would probably take a while to build up trust, so if ttk currently has any platonic female friends, that could certainly be another feasible avenue | ||
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GreenHorizons
United States24135 Posts
On May 22 2015 11:52 DarkPlasmaBall wrote: That could work, although it sounds a little bit creepy to make a new female friend just to use her to get to her other friends. It would probably take a while to build up trust, so if ttk currently has any platonic female friends, that could certainly be another feasible avenue Yeah the first way I worded it sounded jerky/creepy. So I went with "one you think you would want to be friends with anyway". I suggest finding some club or group, the better the ratio the more likely you find either a girl your interested in romantically or just one that shares a common interest and possibly provide some insight from 'the other side'. | ||
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Najda
United States3765 Posts
On May 22 2015 11:42 ttk wrote: I'm an engineering major so of the small amount of girls in my classes are either taken or not that interesting. I haven't played sports in about a year and the gym I go to is pretty vacant because I go during lunch. I've been tempted to try one of the 'adult' sports leagues but it looks like it's filled with people who are 30+ or older. When I look around online for groups for younger people all I can find are semi-pro leagues which is not what I'm interested. Does your school have any recreational sports leagues or other group activities you'd be interested in joining? | ||
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