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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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lastpuritan
United States540 Posts
 Those are not separate dates, same girl, and everybody says get flowers, nobody says which one and when to give... It must be perfect because she cares flowers. On April 24 2015 04:17 farvacola wrote: Whatever it is you do, just make sure you wash your hands. Im not gonna fist your ass, no need thanks. This is the second or third time you stupidly quote me. Please stay away. | ||
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farvacola
United States18827 Posts
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Kleinmuuhg
Vanuatu4091 Posts
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Acrofales
Spain17992 Posts
On April 24 2015 02:38 lastpuritan wrote: I have 3 dates plan. I will ask her if she wants to go watch a movie, very late one preferably. Drinking couple of beers and entering late-night cinema always works. I will ask her if she wants to have breakfast. Unlike me, girls like having breakfast outside. Breakfast is a very late meal time for me that i can eat almost anything as start. I will pick a good place by the sea or with fresh air to fullfill this romance. I will ask her if she wants to have some desserts after work. I know a good place again, serving quality waffles, it would be good after a hard day. Question IS: I'll buy F L O W E R S . Y E S . 2 0 1 5 . Can you advice me a type and which time i should take em with me. Breakfast? Roses? Can any of these counter the soultrain? | ||
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lastpuritan
United States540 Posts
- gerberas are in my list. i dont even know their names correctly. ty | ||
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Najda
United States3765 Posts
On April 24 2015 04:28 lastpuritan wrote: Don't read it like you read a bossy male's list. This is me, in love after years and i wanted to write down quickly. Those are not separate dates, same girl, and everybody says get flowers, nobody says which one and when to give... It must be perfect because she cares I'm pretty sure no one here would say to get her flowers on one of the first couple dates. I would just see that as creepy/desperate. Who is this girl anyway that you've already contructed a build order for her? My advice is just to treat her like a person rather than some rubiks cube on a pedastal that needs the perfect combination of events to solve. Don't worry about finding the perfect dates, focus on making the time you spend with her fun for both of you, regardless of location. | ||
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lastpuritan
United States540 Posts
that listing and dates hold one purpose, "giving her the flowers", because those flowers will hopefully, start my new relationship with true feeling this time. i thought i cant give flowers the moment i see her or out of nowhere when we were talking.  there must be steps right? i must make her happy, prepare the mood, man these things were easy when you dont feel anything. | ||
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Acrofales
Spain17992 Posts
On April 24 2015 06:48 lastpuritan wrote: when i was driving her home last week after work, she said she is dying for flowers and never gets one though. i was thinking a good cut bouquet since that time. that listing and dates hold one purpose, "giving her the flowers", because those flowers will hopefully, start my new relationship with true feeling this time. i thought i cant give flowers the moment i see her or out of nowhere when we were talking. there must be steps right? i must make her happy, prepare the mood, man these things were easy when you dont feel anything. You are REALLY overthinking this. You can totally give her flowers when you are picking her up for the date (or wherever you meet). Just don't be stupid about it. Make it something lighthearted, not as if you are expecting her to swoon and fall into your arms because you gave her a bunch of flowers. It's a first date. You make it seem like you expect her to marry you at the end of it. That is not right, and you are setting yourself up to fail. | ||
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14681
United Kingdom27 Posts
On April 24 2015 02:38 lastpuritan wrote: I have 3 dates plan. I will ask her if she wants to go watch a movie, very late one preferably. Drinking couple of beers and entering late-night cinema always works. I will ask her if she wants to have breakfast. Unlike me, girls like having breakfast outside. Breakfast is a very late meal time for me that i can eat almost anything as start. I will pick a good place by the sea or with fresh air to fullfill this romance. I will ask her if she wants to have some desserts after work. I know a good place again, serving quality waffles, it would be good after a hard day. Question IS: I'll buy F L O W E R S . Y E S . 2 0 1 5 . Can you advice me a type and which time i should take em with me. Breakfast? Roses? lastpuritan my advice is to buy just a single flower. A nice flower with a long stem, pick it well. Looks elegant, thoughtful, romantic. Easier to carry and hide than a large bouquet which I'd say might be overkill. You can pick and choose your moment with a single flower without it being obvious the moment she turns the corner and sees you with a bouquet. Focus on it being a nice simple gesture, and it'll go down really well. Just be cautious of coming across as too intense, which is what a large bouquet would signify at this stage. But gratz for being the nice type of guy who cares about this sort of thing, it won't go unnoticed. | ||
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GreenHorizons
United States23231 Posts
On April 24 2015 07:13 14681 wrote: lastpuritan my advice is to buy just a single flower. A nice flower with a long stem, pick it well. Looks elegant, thoughtful, romantic. Easier to carry and hide than a large bouquet which I'd say might be overkill. You can pick and choose your moment with a single flower without it being obvious the moment she turns the corner and sees you with a bouquet. Focus on it being a nice simple gesture, and it'll go down really well. Just be cautious of coming across as too intense, which is what a large bouquet would signify at this stage. But gratz for being the nice type of guy who cares about this sort of thing, it won't go unnoticed. I'd google what various flowers mean though, you don't want to get her one because you think it looks nice, then find out that the googled meaning says that particular flower means "I love you" or whatever. There is a good chance she googles "what does X flower mean". | ||
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obesechicken13
United States10467 Posts
On April 24 2015 07:16 GreenHorizons wrote: I'd google what various flowers mean though, you don't want to get her one because you think it looks nice, then find out that the googled meaning says that particular flower means "I love you" or whatever. There is a good chance she googles "what does X flower mean". Isn't this overthinking. Just say "it was a pretty flower, I didn't know it meant I hope you die of cancer". | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
Can really women be this old fashioned? Seeing this girl, it's been a month (been on 4 dates) Like I'd always call Monday to set a Wednesday or Thursday date. We're always into each other like crazy. But at first she'd reply like a day later to texts, then we didn't text at all when she got used to me calling her - I'm a really busy guy with poker, dota watching and doing poker talkshow+commenting on matches+studying theory so I stuck to once per week without contact apart from calling to set up dates. So like this week I just couldn't see her, or call to know when set up a date (complicated tooth removal+scheduling of a poker show that I'm organising where I couldn't get 2 people playing vs each other committed on a time so didn't know when I was free) I've been on a 7hr awesome date with her last Wednesday, then called her today on Thursday 3pm when my schedule became clear/tooth healed up, wanting to see her that very day. She did the no callback until 11pm, she seemed like really distressed, telling me how it was so weird being without me on Thursday when she was with me every week, and that she's leaving for Ukraine for a week to visit her grandma, there's noway to see me in between as she leaves early and that she's kinda scared because of the situation there... Then slipped in the convo that I'm this person she'd like to try something serious with at one point. Like seriously? Playing games is one thing, but this is stupid, or are there girls really this old fashioned, she's like extremely intelligent too, Christ - she'd rather leave without me knowing about it than send one text. Anyways, I guess I will have to make it clear that I'd like it if she contacted me sometimes first as well and it's okay and I'd love it if/when she comes back? | ||
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Fyodor
Canada971 Posts
On April 24 2015 07:52 LemOn wrote: Jesus Christ Can really women be this old fashioned? Seeing this girl, it's been a month (been on 4 dates) Like I'd always call Monday to set a Wednesday or Thursday date. We're always into each other like crazy. But at first she'd reply like a day later to texts, then we didn't text at all when she got used to me calling her - I'm a really busy guy with poker, dota watching and doing poker talkshow+commenting on matches+studying theory so I stuck to once per week without contact apart from calling to set up dates. So like this week I just couldn't see her, or call to know when set up a date (complicated tooth removal+scheduling of a poker show that I'm organising where I couldn't get 2 people playing vs each other committed on a time so didn't know when I was free) I've been on a 7hr awesome date with her last Wednesday, then called her today on Thursday 3pm when my schedule became clear/tooth healed up, wanting to see her that very day. She did the no callback until 11pm, she seemed like really distressed, telling me how it was so weird being without me on Thursday when she was with me every week, and that she's leaving for Ukraine for a week to visit her grandma, there's noway to see me in between as she leaves early and that she's kinda scared because of the situation there... Then slipped in the convo that I'm this person she'd like to try something serious with at one point. Like seriously? Playing games is one thing, but this is stupid, or are there girls really this old fashioned, she's like extremely intelligent too, Christ - she'd rather leave without me knowing about it than send one text. Anyways, I guess I will have to make it clear that I'd like it if she contacted me sometimes first as well and it's okay and I'd love it if/when she comes back? You laid the bait making her think you don't care (the reason she didn't text you to let you know she was leaving) now you have to reel it in. Talk to her more often and have sex with her. IMO | ||
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lastpuritan
United States540 Posts
On April 24 2015 06:55 Acrofales wrote: You are REALLY overthinking this. You can totally give her flowers when you are picking her up for the date (or wherever you meet). Just don't be stupid about it. Make it something lighthearted, not as if you are expecting her to swoon and fall into your arms because you gave her a bunch of flowers. It's a first date. You make it seem like you expect her to marry you at the end of it. That is not right, and you are setting yourself up to fail. Those 3 dates will not be firsts. We have met enough times and i can see she is also waiting for my turn. But yeah, i think i am really overthinking. - BTW if we start this, we will probably end up marrying, she says that her time has come, once she blinked and smiled, and said only if i find one like you. I was nearly diving into embankments. On April 24 2015 07:13 14681 wrote: lastpuritan my advice is to buy just a single flower. A nice flower with a long stem, pick it well. Looks elegant, thoughtful, romantic. Easier to carry and hide than a large bouquet which I'd say might be overkill. You can pick and choose your moment with a single flower without it being obvious the moment she turns the corner and sees you with a bouquet. Focus on it being a nice simple gesture, and it'll go down really well. Just be cautious of coming across as too intense, which is what a large bouquet would signify at this stage. But gratz for being the nice type of guy who cares about this sort of thing, it won't go unnoticed. Thank you! What could be gifted as single? carnation? lilium? I asked my older brother (37- married for 10 years) whether its a single rose or bouquet, he said "single Rose? Are you virgin?" :D I dont want to give that message. | ||
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14681
United Kingdom27 Posts
On April 24 2015 02:38 lastpuritan wrote: Thank you! What could be gifted as single? carnation? lilium? I asked my older brother (37- married for 10 years) whether its a single rose or bouquet, he said "single Rose? Are you virgin?" :D I dont want to give that message. As a single flower, roses work well because they look nice and elegant. Just go for a different colour than red - yellow or pink perhaps. You can even use this as a conversation lead-in and joke about how you didn't know which colour would look best, if some colours have certain meanings, what's her favourite colour etc. Just be confident in what you do and go for it - don't let anyone tell you what not to do. The way you pull it off is more important than what stereotypes dictate. | ||
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Zooper31
United States5710 Posts
On April 23 2015 18:08 LemOn wrote: Yah, I mean, what's the difference between a fuckbuddy and dating really - just skip the coffee/drinks? I don't stay in touch inbetween dates anyways besides setting them up even with girls I really like I'll need to go on a normal date at first anyways no? And once she'd been to mine just tell her to come over next time, and put in less of an effort? I guess I just have to be careful not to get too attached myself/ I see other girls in the meantime anyways tho I consider dating a relationship where you aren't seeing other people and exclusive. What you want is a fwb situation basically. | ||
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SixStrings
Germany2046 Posts
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puerk
Germany855 Posts
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Chocolate
United States2350 Posts
On May 06 2015 02:48 SixStrings wrote: Half your age plus four is the cutoff, right? trust your gut better rule of thumb: if your friends would give you shit for it or her parents would be upset about your age, she's too young also I'm pretty sure it's half your age plus 7. I don't think 18 year olds should be messing around with 13 year olds lol. | ||
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GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
On May 06 2015 03:13 Chocolate wrote: trust your gut better rule of thumb: if your friends would give you shit for it or her parents would be upset about your age, she's too young also I'm pretty sure it's half your age plus 7. I don't think 18 year olds should be messing around with 13 year olds lol. After 18 everything goes. After 16 if you are 18 or younger. If her parents or your friends give you shit it's a non issue. If your friends give you shit for dating a beautiful, younger woman, you need new friends. | ||
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