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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
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3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On February 19 2015 02:39 xDaunt wrote:Show nested quote +On February 19 2015 02:22 ComaDose wrote:On February 18 2015 22:49 bloodwhore~ wrote:
I consider girl A to be off limits because I am acquaintance with her ex thats a pretty hard line to draw but just being acquaintances with someone doesn't make all their ex's off limits explicitly. Your use of acquaintance and not friend makes me think if you are really keen on getting relationship experience and are attracted to girl A it seems like a good idea. she seems into you. just feel it out. The whole "she's my friend's ex" thing quickly becomes a non-issue if the quality of the girl is high enough. I certainly have been hypocritical on the issue. Back in high school, I badly snubbed a girl who wanted to date me using that excuse, but the truth is that I just wasn't into her at all. When it came to my wife, however, I merrily ignored the conflict.
To address your first point. Well I'm not actually really attracted to any of them. I get crushes fairly easy and it takes months before I even consider my crush out and in the end I never do. I have never actually tried to talk to a girl when sober. Girl B only really have my latest profile picture on facebook to judge me by and her friends opinion so I can understand if she wants me to try to persuade her. I have no doubt in my mind that she would fall like a house of cards if she saw me topless.
Well I left it out but when the both added me girl A liked the "girl B and me is friends" status. In my eyes that was like some of hint that she was trying to hook us up or something. I've talked to girl B a little now, (very little), and she is very slow at responding. So am I at times but she is like absurdly slow, and she doesn't really seem to be interested in taking the conversation any further. For all I know this could be a shit test of some sort to see if I really want her or whatever but that won't work out very well for her since I don't play games.
I honestly don't see the point of adding someone and liking their picture, then being hesitant when the guy initiates a conversation.
She is just wasting everyone's time. Furthermore I've noticed I really hate this shitty banter, I doubt I'll try to talk to her anymore even though I've only sent like 5 messages.
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On February 19 2015 08:29 [SXG]Phantom wrote:
1.-Do you think you should talk/try to date all the girls you like? Life for example, in my school i recently met some girls that i constantly see (one in is one of my classes, another one in anoother, and the last one is always where i go to eat something). I have had some small talk with them and i think they are nice, one has given me subtle hints that she likes me (well, at least thats what i think), however i don't know if i should focus on one or just kind of talk to all of them and see which one really likes me.
2.- the second one is: Do you think in the "shes not my type or person"? I think that yes, There are some really gorgeos girls that i see and im just like "meh", i know shes super pretty, but i just don't like her. The i see an avarage super skinny girl, and im like "wow so cute" even though i know shes not that pretty, and my friends are like "wtf?" So, i believe in it, just wondering what your opinions on the matter are?
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I think you should, I wouldn't though since I'm a pussy regarding those things.
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I feel like hypocritical saying stuff like "she could never handle me" (I sound like a fat person talking about how guys cant handle a lot of woman) but I gotta say it's probably true for most girls. Any normal girl would most likely think I am pretty god damn weird. Extremely aggressive in the way I talk once I am comfortable with people, visit strange places on the internet, have really low empathy, don't really miss anyone. Not phased by being away from people for months at all. Take absolutely zero shit, talked a bit about it in my last post but if some girl tried to pull some kind of "shit test" I'll just drop her like it was nothing.
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On February 19 2015 08:56 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On February 19 2015 02:39 xDaunt wrote:On February 19 2015 02:22 ComaDose wrote:On February 18 2015 22:49 bloodwhore~ wrote:
I consider girl A to be off limits because I am acquaintance with her ex thats a pretty hard line to draw but just being acquaintances with someone doesn't make all their ex's off limits explicitly. Your use of acquaintance and not friend makes me think if you are really keen on getting relationship experience and are attracted to girl A it seems like a good idea. she seems into you. just feel it out. The whole "she's my friend's ex" thing quickly becomes a non-issue if the quality of the girl is high enough. I certainly have been hypocritical on the issue. Back in high school, I badly snubbed a girl who wanted to date me using that excuse, but the truth is that I just wasn't into her at all. When it came to my wife, however, I merrily ignored the conflict. To address your first point. Well I'm not actually really attracted to any of them. I get crushes fairly easy and it takes months before I even consider my crush out and in the end I never do. I have never actually tried to talk to a girl when sober. Girl B only really have my latest profile picture on facebook to judge me by and her friends opinion so I can understand if she wants me to try to persuade her. I have no doubt in my mind that she would fall like a house of cards if she saw me topless. Well I left it out but when the both added me girl A liked the "girl B and me is friends" status. In my eyes that was like some of hint that she was trying to hook us up or something. I've talked to girl B a little now, (very little), and she is very slow at responding. So am I at times but she is like absurdly slow, and she doesn't really seem to be interested in taking the conversation any further. For all I know this could be a shit test of some sort to see if I really want her or whatever but that won't work out very well for her since I don't play games. I honestly don't see the point of adding someone and liking their picture, then being hesitant when the guy initiates a conversation. She is just wasting everyone's time. Furthermore I've noticed I really hate this shitty banter, I doubt I'll try to talk to her anymore even though I've only sent like 5 messages.
Let me phrase up my point a little better. I certainly would not recommend that anyone go out of their way to make a point of dating their friends' ex's, and for some of your friends, you really shouldn't date their ex's period. But if it happens, and if it's something that's really promising, then you shouldn't let the fact that the girl dated one of your friends get in the way.
In the two cases in my prior post, neither of my friends in question were close enough friends to where it really factored into the equation. Nonetheless, and in the case of my wife, I certainly wasn't looking to date her at the time that we started dating. I had actually already mentally filed her away as an afterthought. What ended up being our first "date" occurred strictly through sheer happenstance. I was going to drive her a few other people to this dance club, and everyone else but her had to drop out for one reason or another. I probably never would have started dating her but for that happening (goes to show what a dumbass I was for not paying attention).
As for your Girl A and Girl B situation, don't read too much into what they're saying in online chats. Girls are hard enough to figure out in person. Doing it online? Good luck. Instead, ask whichever one out that you want (or both), and then you'll know. Biggest mistake guys make when it comes to girls is analysis paralysis (been there, done that, too). Just act, and you'll be much happier for it.
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As for your Girl A and Girl B situation, don't read too much into what they're saying in online chats. Girls are hard enough to figure out in person. Doing it online? Good luck. Instead, ask whichever one out that you want (or both), and then you'll know. Biggest mistake guys make when it comes to girls is analysis paralysis (been there, done that, too). Just act, and you'll be much happier for it.
Well it's more what she isn't saying. More or less one word answers. Not to mention they're not even in the same city as I am, both of them are in the neighboring city making it even harder to meet in person, if I even wanted that. All of this started because they started adding me. I kind of had this thing where I would initiate contact with girls who I thought was into me if they didn't really dare to. However it seems she is not interested and since I am way to bad at talking to strangers to make them like me I really just cant be arsed.
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So much hate on me 
anyway, the english girl agreed to go out tomorrow night! meanwhile tonight I had a dj set with my friend and we met some girls, the night went kinda well! The rules are always the same - talk, make them laugh, smile. Something good will happen
P.s. better go to bed now. I'm wasted
P.p.s Sixstrings, peace.
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I need some thoughts on this.
A girl and I broke up a few months ago. Nothing was really wrong with the relationship, we just wanted to date other people and try new things. She is the one who officially did the breaking up, but it was pretty mutual.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago. I took another girl out, and she happened to be there with another guy who I'm pretty sure is her boyfriend. Then, I see her at a store randomly. Now my town isn't huge, but it's not small either. Those are pretty big coincidences. I have a class with her, but I've skipped it a lot and finally last week we were both there. I didn't really make time to talk to her, and afterwards basically just said, "Good to see you, talk to you later!" and left. As I was walking toward my car, she said something from across the street, I laughed and said goodnight and kept going. Then, she said that she saw a member of my family the other day as well, and so I had to go and talk to her or I'd look like a big jerk.
She asked how things were going, I said they were going well. I asked how things were going with that guy she was with, because I found out they had been dating for a couple of months. She said, "Funny you should ask, actually, they're just alright. I think it's just me... I don't know." I thought, "hmm." She said a couple of other things, then: "It's cold, I'm going to go inside. We'll talk later." That really confused me, and my thoughts were that she wants to get back together because she liked me more than she likes this new guy.
Tonight same sort of scenario. We walked out of class together. She says, "I just wanted to thank you for all that you taught me when we were together. I had a lot of fun and feel really grateful." It seemed like she was being genuine about that, and didn't seem nearly so much like she was saying, "Hey, let's try again." I played with it a little to see if she wanted to keep talking, but didn't and just said "See you next week!"
So after that I feel less that she wants to get back, but I don't really know. The way she played the gratitude thing off didn't seem flirty or trying to lead me on, while last week it did. Not sure. Thoughts?
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Why do you even care? If the breakup was mutual, why would you want to get back with her? Even if she is now having second thoughts?
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Like I said, there was nothing wrong with the relationship. The dates I've been on with other girls since then haven't been anything close to what they were like while I was with her. So I'm having second thoughts myself, honestly.
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Something must have been wrong with the relationship for the two of you to split up...
It is very typical to get second thoughts, but no matter what you decide to do (get back together or stay apart) you should figure out why you walked away from each other in the first place.
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She is just being nostalgic man. Maybe her current relationship indeed isn't all that and she's romanticizing whatever you guys had. I'd keep my distance if I were you.
@Bloodwhore:
Your statement about 'dropping her like it's nothing' makes it sound like you are afraid of getting hurt. Thing is that if you want to get close to anyone (be it a friend or a love interest) you're gonna have to let your guard down eventually. And letting your guard down means risking getting hurt. All part of the game man..
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On February 18 2015 21:06 LemOn wrote:Show nested quote +On February 17 2015 14:12 CatNzHat wrote:
Anyone here have experience with the whole multiple transparent multiple relationships at once poly thing? I kinda out of my depth here, not much content available on the subject... Seems like unless you are actually committed and one of them demands it and never lie about these things to any party then dating multiple women is perfectly acceptable?
I actually went for honesty today with a girl. I don't want to get committed, as I broke up just over a month ago and really am not confident with women yet, but met this really fun girl - we have a great time together but our long term values are not aligned really, and I'm dating other girls- just dates, kissing not much more rly so far with any, no rush.
She's like "after first date I didn't expect to see you again" but we ended hooking up on 2nd one (well almost. It was 3am when we met at 9pm as the attraction was kinda damaged from last time when I was nervous I had 4hrs of sleep drinking + gym, you do the math ;P). and she texted me she's confused not sure what to think.
I texted her straight up that she's gorgeous and fun, but I'm not looking for anything serious, and no commitment, but I'd love to hang out. At first she texted she's not looking for a relationship but doesn't want to be an "alternate" to other girls so most likely won't see me again. I just replied that that's up to her, and I'll always love to see her and to be in touch 
She replied like moments later making excuses about a place I told her about and how she'd like to go there, that her room mate might need the flat to herself cause she just got a boyfriend...
I find it really incredible almost mind blowing that after my whole life trying to do what women wanted to hear and changing my personality to please them and putting pressure on myself, just being myself and honest and saying what I want in a nice way not only makes me feel better about me, but makes me more successful with women as well
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On February 19 2015 08:29 [Phantom] wrote:
1.-Do you think you should talk/try to date all the girls you like? Life for example, in my school i recently met some girls that i constantly see (one in is one of my classes, another one in anoother, and the last one is always where i go to eat something). I have had some small talk with them and i think they are nice, one has given me subtle hints that she likes me (well, at least thats what i think), however i don't know if i should focus on one or just kind of talk to all of them and see which one really likes me.
2.- the second one is: Do you think in the "shes not my type or person"? I think that yes, There are some really gorgeos girls that i see and im just like "meh", i know shes super pretty, but i just don't like her. The i see an avarage super skinny girl, and im like "wow so cute" even though i know shes not that pretty, and my friends are like "wtf?" So, i believe in it, just wondering what your opinions on the matter are?
1. Yeah for sure just hang out with them - how are you supposed to know which one's great if you don't give them a chance? Try to sew which one YOU like too though lol 
2. I have a very strong opinion on this. I went for a girl just because she was drop dead gorgeous, amazing body, but at first wasn't my "type" like you know the girls you look at and you think they are "interesting and you wanna know more about them" instead of necessarily 10/10 hot. First kiss was kinda meh, the personalities didn't match as she was cold and I like more touchy feely girls... You can read about her earlier in the thread in my posts
So anyways I eventually ended up being mad about her, it was purely physical I developed this insane attraction, committed to her right away and got into a relationship in which I shouldn't have been in the first place and we ended up being both miserable at the end.
So I say fuck what your buddies say or what anybody thinks, if you are feeling it and clicking with her personality and she's interesting to you that's way better than a 10/10 hot girl by modern magazine standards. Only what's important to you matters
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On February 20 2015 06:47 LemOn wrote:Show nested quote +On February 18 2015 21:06 LemOn wrote:On February 17 2015 14:12 CatNzHat wrote:
Anyone here have experience with the whole multiple transparent multiple relationships at once poly thing? I kinda out of my depth here, not much content available on the subject... Seems like unless you are actually committed and one of them demands it and never lie about these things to any party then dating multiple women is perfectly acceptable? I actually went for honesty today with a girl. I don't want to get committed, as I broke up just over a month ago and really am not confident with women yet, but met this really fun girl - we have a great time together but our long term values are not aligned really, and I'm dating other girls- just dates, kissing not much more rly so far with any, no rush. She's like "after first date I didn't expect to see you again" but we ended hooking up on 2nd one (well almost. It was 3am when we met at 9pm as the attraction was kinda damaged from last time when I was nervous I had 4hrs of sleep drinking + gym, you do the math ;P). and she texted me she's confused not sure what to think. I texted her straight up that she's gorgeous and fun, but I'm not looking for anything serious, and no commitment, but I'd love to hang out. At first she texted she's not looking for a relationship but doesn't want to be an "alternate" to other girls so most likely won't see me again. I just replied that that's up to her, and I'll always love to see her and to be in touch She replied like moments later making excuses about a place I told her about and how she'd like to go there, that her room mate might need the flat to herself cause she just got a boyfriend... I find it really incredible almost mind blowing that after my whole life trying to do what women wanted to hear and changing my personality to please them and putting pressure on myself, just being myself and honest and saying what I want in a nice way not only makes me feel better about me, but makes me more successful with women as well
QFT. This happened to me last year and life has been so much more chill
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I went out on a first date to bar trivia with a girl from okc. She did not look that attractive on her profile but pictures are deceiving and I like trivia and maybe she has a great personality? Date went well, we lost in trivia, no big deal. She's not any more attractive in real life (nor is she less). She texts me yesterday afternoon "I had a good time blah blah." I text back this afternoon, "Me too thanks!"
She just replied "well why did it take you so long to respond? ha." I text back "Just busy." 99% sure she blocked my number because it sent as a text message instead of imessage.
update: she "broke her phone." hrm.
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Netherlands6192 Posts
On February 18 2015 17:27 Snotling wrote:Show nested quote +On February 18 2015 16:17 WarSame wrote:
A lot of us do rock climb. From what I've seen it's a great place to pick up girls, although you probably should be going because you actually enjoy it. All of the girls I've met there seem really nice, and are all in good to great shape, so it selects for attractive women. I started rock climbing because it got mentioned on here a lot, and I'd recommend it as well. Is there any other activity that does it so well? Most of my other activities are male dominated, like chess or video games. For starters there are all the other outdoor activities. (Hiking, sklacklining, mountainbiking, and so on). Were I live (Mainz) we had a fire making (with a fire drill) workshop. There were 15 girls and 5 guys. Dont ask me why..... A lot of martial arts have a even gender distribution too. Also archery. Every arts thing you can imagine. Board game groups. Cooking Groups. Over the holidays I startet crocheting with my grandmother :D, now I do it on long train or bus rides. There are three benefits to this: Girls start talking to you on their own. I make really good presents for birthdays and such. And its actually a lot of fun :D. (And im not a hipster, no beany will ever be made by me :D) ![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/pbHHE9K.jpg)
omg thats adorable :3
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On February 21 2015 11:21 Bigtony wrote:
I went out on a first date to bar trivia with a girl from okc. She did not look that attractive on her profile but pictures are deceiving and I like trivia and maybe she has a great personality? Date went well, we lost in trivia, no big deal. She's not any more attractive in real life (nor is she less). She texts me yesterday afternoon "I had a good time blah blah." I text back this afternoon, "Me too thanks!"
She just replied "well why did it take you so long to respond? ha." I text back "Just busy." 99% sure she blocked my number because it sent as a text message instead of imessage.
update: she "broke her phone." hrm.
Dodge that bullet.
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On February 21 2015 23:51 Godwrath wrote:Show nested quote +On February 21 2015 11:21 Bigtony wrote:
I went out on a first date to bar trivia with a girl from okc. She did not look that attractive on her profile but pictures are deceiving and I like trivia and maybe she has a great personality? Date went well, we lost in trivia, no big deal. She's not any more attractive in real life (nor is she less). She texts me yesterday afternoon "I had a good time blah blah." I text back this afternoon, "Me too thanks!"
She just replied "well why did it take you so long to respond? ha." I text back "Just busy." 99% sure she blocked my number because it sent as a text message instead of imessage.
update: she "broke her phone." hrm. Dodge that bullet. That was her second text? Run for the hills.
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Taking 24 hours to respond "me too, thanks" does seem a little slow to be honest. If you are not interested why not tell her so?
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Yeah disgregard what i said. I thought it all happened the same afternoon (poor reading skills, confused this with that).
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EPT
