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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On February 18 2015 00:49 GoTuNk! wrote:Show nested quote +On February 18 2015 00:16 SixStrings wrote:On February 17 2015 10:24 Wombat_NI wrote:On February 16 2015 23:35 xDaunt wrote:On February 16 2015 21:40 Wombat_NI wrote:On February 16 2015 13:24 xDaunt wrote:On February 16 2015 12:13 Wombat_NI wrote:
Define 'often'? They can be for sure, I think part of my problem is being straightjacketed to the view that monogamous marriage is the de facto state of being for people. Literally my entire family, both sides are all either married for longer than I've been alive, or are engaged in long-term partnerships to the same degree. Naturally my single parent status has proven difficult to reconcile with the entirety of my adult role models being able to keep things working and functional.
I know it's societally an atypical state of affairs, but such is my upbringing, so I think it's held me back a lot with the whole disastrous breakdown with my ex. I've never really had the energy to write a rant blog but really she's been a total cunt to me for at least the last year. I don't know what your circumstances are with your ex, but definitely don't feel like this is a "problem." You just need to find the right partner. Marriage isn't easy to get right, but if you do, it is great. It's more that single parenthood and all the difficulties I've had with it, I am the first dad in my peer group, and all my family are happily married so I have no real sounding boards in terms of advice with my situation outside of the internet. Yeah, single parenting is rough. I'm married with two small children, but I have had the "opportunity" to take care of them on my own when my wife has gone out of town on business. Definitely no cake walk. As for getting advice on your situation, I'd suggest that there isn't too much that you need. Parenting is just something that parents have to figure out largely on their own. Presuming that you had competent parents of your own or know people who have been good parents, you already have a model for how to do it. The catch is that you just have to work harder at it because you're on your own. What you really need is to have a support network in place (ie grandparents, uncles, aunts, etc) who can help you out with watching your kid so that you can still have at least a semblance of a social life and maintain your sanity. My ex is an unbelievable cunt who I have constant issues with. I'm happy with a distanced thing with me seeing my son independently of her but she can't even do that. She whacked my son in daycare on the day I generally mind him because I missed ONE week with a genuine illness (that was pretty much 2 weeks long) I withdrew from university to take care of him and earn money for that purpose, she is able to pursue a Masters despite being considerably less smart than me. She has a new boyfriend who is a lawyer who specialises in child law. Essentially I'm fucked, she has free legal advice, I don't. She earns more than me per month to pay for such advice despite not working because of benefits + the money I give her for him (2x the amount I'm legally obligated to pay) My family are fantastic and supportive just its a lonely situation because I know nobody in the same position Man that son of yours is lucky to have you, and so is this thread. Your problems really put in perspective our whinging... I will second this, you didn't even bring up biased courts. At the guys struggling to aproach woman: “A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan executed next week.” - George S. Patton
But for the love of god don't violently approach a woman.
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On February 18 2015 03:50 B.I.G. wrote:Show nested quote +On February 18 2015 00:49 GoTuNk! wrote:On February 18 2015 00:16 SixStrings wrote:On February 17 2015 10:24 Wombat_NI wrote:On February 16 2015 23:35 xDaunt wrote:On February 16 2015 21:40 Wombat_NI wrote:On February 16 2015 13:24 xDaunt wrote:On February 16 2015 12:13 Wombat_NI wrote:
Define 'often'? They can be for sure, I think part of my problem is being straightjacketed to the view that monogamous marriage is the de facto state of being for people. Literally my entire family, both sides are all either married for longer than I've been alive, or are engaged in long-term partnerships to the same degree. Naturally my single parent status has proven difficult to reconcile with the entirety of my adult role models being able to keep things working and functional.
I know it's societally an atypical state of affairs, but such is my upbringing, so I think it's held me back a lot with the whole disastrous breakdown with my ex. I've never really had the energy to write a rant blog but really she's been a total cunt to me for at least the last year. I don't know what your circumstances are with your ex, but definitely don't feel like this is a "problem." You just need to find the right partner. Marriage isn't easy to get right, but if you do, it is great. It's more that single parenthood and all the difficulties I've had with it, I am the first dad in my peer group, and all my family are happily married so I have no real sounding boards in terms of advice with my situation outside of the internet. Yeah, single parenting is rough. I'm married with two small children, but I have had the "opportunity" to take care of them on my own when my wife has gone out of town on business. Definitely no cake walk. As for getting advice on your situation, I'd suggest that there isn't too much that you need. Parenting is just something that parents have to figure out largely on their own. Presuming that you had competent parents of your own or know people who have been good parents, you already have a model for how to do it. The catch is that you just have to work harder at it because you're on your own. What you really need is to have a support network in place (ie grandparents, uncles, aunts, etc) who can help you out with watching your kid so that you can still have at least a semblance of a social life and maintain your sanity. My ex is an unbelievable cunt who I have constant issues with. I'm happy with a distanced thing with me seeing my son independently of her but she can't even do that. She whacked my son in daycare on the day I generally mind him because I missed ONE week with a genuine illness (that was pretty much 2 weeks long) I withdrew from university to take care of him and earn money for that purpose, she is able to pursue a Masters despite being considerably less smart than me. She has a new boyfriend who is a lawyer who specialises in child law. Essentially I'm fucked, she has free legal advice, I don't. She earns more than me per month to pay for such advice despite not working because of benefits + the money I give her for him (2x the amount I'm legally obligated to pay) My family are fantastic and supportive just its a lonely situation because I know nobody in the same position Man that son of yours is lucky to have you, and so is this thread. Your problems really put in perspective our whinging... I will second this, you didn't even bring up biased courts. At the guys struggling to aproach woman: “A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan executed next week.” - George S. Patton But for the love of god don't violently approach a woman.
Why not women love bad boys.
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On February 18 2015 10:02 soul55555 wrote:Show nested quote +On February 18 2015 03:50 B.I.G. wrote:On February 18 2015 00:49 GoTuNk! wrote:On February 18 2015 00:16 SixStrings wrote:On February 17 2015 10:24 Wombat_NI wrote:On February 16 2015 23:35 xDaunt wrote:On February 16 2015 21:40 Wombat_NI wrote:On February 16 2015 13:24 xDaunt wrote:On February 16 2015 12:13 Wombat_NI wrote:
Define 'often'? They can be for sure, I think part of my problem is being straightjacketed to the view that monogamous marriage is the de facto state of being for people. Literally my entire family, both sides are all either married for longer than I've been alive, or are engaged in long-term partnerships to the same degree. Naturally my single parent status has proven difficult to reconcile with the entirety of my adult role models being able to keep things working and functional.
I know it's societally an atypical state of affairs, but such is my upbringing, so I think it's held me back a lot with the whole disastrous breakdown with my ex. I've never really had the energy to write a rant blog but really she's been a total cunt to me for at least the last year. I don't know what your circumstances are with your ex, but definitely don't feel like this is a "problem." You just need to find the right partner. Marriage isn't easy to get right, but if you do, it is great. It's more that single parenthood and all the difficulties I've had with it, I am the first dad in my peer group, and all my family are happily married so I have no real sounding boards in terms of advice with my situation outside of the internet. Yeah, single parenting is rough. I'm married with two small children, but I have had the "opportunity" to take care of them on my own when my wife has gone out of town on business. Definitely no cake walk. As for getting advice on your situation, I'd suggest that there isn't too much that you need. Parenting is just something that parents have to figure out largely on their own. Presuming that you had competent parents of your own or know people who have been good parents, you already have a model for how to do it. The catch is that you just have to work harder at it because you're on your own. What you really need is to have a support network in place (ie grandparents, uncles, aunts, etc) who can help you out with watching your kid so that you can still have at least a semblance of a social life and maintain your sanity. My ex is an unbelievable cunt who I have constant issues with. I'm happy with a distanced thing with me seeing my son independently of her but she can't even do that. She whacked my son in daycare on the day I generally mind him because I missed ONE week with a genuine illness (that was pretty much 2 weeks long) I withdrew from university to take care of him and earn money for that purpose, she is able to pursue a Masters despite being considerably less smart than me. She has a new boyfriend who is a lawyer who specialises in child law. Essentially I'm fucked, she has free legal advice, I don't. She earns more than me per month to pay for such advice despite not working because of benefits + the money I give her for him (2x the amount I'm legally obligated to pay) My family are fantastic and supportive just its a lonely situation because I know nobody in the same position Man that son of yours is lucky to have you, and so is this thread. Your problems really put in perspective our whinging... I will second this, you didn't even bring up biased courts. At the guys struggling to aproach woman: “A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan executed next week.” - George S. Patton But for the love of god don't violently approach a woman. Why not women love bad boys.
Go violently approach a woman and tell me how that works out for you. You shouldn't take tropes too seriously, and women aren't some monolithic body.
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On February 18 2015 10:25 DemigodcelpH wrote:Show nested quote +On February 18 2015 10:02 soul55555 wrote:On February 18 2015 03:50 B.I.G. wrote:On February 18 2015 00:49 GoTuNk! wrote:On February 18 2015 00:16 SixStrings wrote:On February 17 2015 10:24 Wombat_NI wrote:On February 16 2015 23:35 xDaunt wrote:On February 16 2015 21:40 Wombat_NI wrote:On February 16 2015 13:24 xDaunt wrote:On February 16 2015 12:13 Wombat_NI wrote:
Define 'often'? They can be for sure, I think part of my problem is being straightjacketed to the view that monogamous marriage is the de facto state of being for people. Literally my entire family, both sides are all either married for longer than I've been alive, or are engaged in long-term partnerships to the same degree. Naturally my single parent status has proven difficult to reconcile with the entirety of my adult role models being able to keep things working and functional.
I know it's societally an atypical state of affairs, but such is my upbringing, so I think it's held me back a lot with the whole disastrous breakdown with my ex. I've never really had the energy to write a rant blog but really she's been a total cunt to me for at least the last year. I don't know what your circumstances are with your ex, but definitely don't feel like this is a "problem." You just need to find the right partner. Marriage isn't easy to get right, but if you do, it is great. It's more that single parenthood and all the difficulties I've had with it, I am the first dad in my peer group, and all my family are happily married so I have no real sounding boards in terms of advice with my situation outside of the internet. Yeah, single parenting is rough. I'm married with two small children, but I have had the "opportunity" to take care of them on my own when my wife has gone out of town on business. Definitely no cake walk. As for getting advice on your situation, I'd suggest that there isn't too much that you need. Parenting is just something that parents have to figure out largely on their own. Presuming that you had competent parents of your own or know people who have been good parents, you already have a model for how to do it. The catch is that you just have to work harder at it because you're on your own. What you really need is to have a support network in place (ie grandparents, uncles, aunts, etc) who can help you out with watching your kid so that you can still have at least a semblance of a social life and maintain your sanity. My ex is an unbelievable cunt who I have constant issues with. I'm happy with a distanced thing with me seeing my son independently of her but she can't even do that. She whacked my son in daycare on the day I generally mind him because I missed ONE week with a genuine illness (that was pretty much 2 weeks long) I withdrew from university to take care of him and earn money for that purpose, she is able to pursue a Masters despite being considerably less smart than me. She has a new boyfriend who is a lawyer who specialises in child law. Essentially I'm fucked, she has free legal advice, I don't. She earns more than me per month to pay for such advice despite not working because of benefits + the money I give her for him (2x the amount I'm legally obligated to pay) My family are fantastic and supportive just its a lonely situation because I know nobody in the same position Man that son of yours is lucky to have you, and so is this thread. Your problems really put in perspective our whinging... I will second this, you didn't even bring up biased courts. At the guys struggling to aproach woman: “A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan executed next week.” - George S. Patton But for the love of god don't violently approach a woman. Why not women love bad boys. Go violently approach a woman and tell me how that works out for you. You shouldn't take tropes too seriously, and women aren't some monolithic body.
Think he's not being too serious there 
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I use a Krumping technique I 've mastered when I approach women. If they are scared by my aggressive/violent swinging of limbs they can't hang anyway.
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"You know son, a women is like a fortress - she wont hold much against concentrated mortarfire and good use of M4 shermans" - George S. Patton, Teamliquid Dating-thread confirmed facts.
On a more serious note, my plans for getting me "out there" took quite a blow when realizing that my university seriously lacks in the activitys departement, even though it is quite big. I guess they dont want us to be occupied by useless funstuff.
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activities*
--grammar nazi
If there's a rock climbing gym nearby check it out, preferably bouldering. It's a great place to meet people who are passionate, fit, and kind. Working on a bouldering problem is a great conversation starter, ask more veteran climbers for tips and they're always glad to help, or if you find someone at your level you can bond over struggling on a tough problem and help each other figure it out.
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Does entire TL do rock climbing to pick up chicks? Seriously what's wrong with bars? If you go there on a friday after work you dont meet a bunch of drunk sluts but a bunch of people who just got off work and are trying to take a load off (or however the expression goes).
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Does entire TL do rock climbing to pick up chicks? Seriously what's wrong with bars? If you go there on a friday after work you dont meet a bunch of drunk sluts but a bunch of people who just got off work and are trying to take a load off (or however the expression goes).
Have you ever considered that this could be local, and highly dependent on the bars in your area? You realize that this is an international forum, and most people only share what works for them, in their local environment. Bars have problems, that were hinted at in the comparison: no obvious conversation starters, no reason to get talking other than finding someone to get it going (which is to forced for most of the thread participants).
I would venture the guess that it is a general rule, that people able to build relationships from random strangers they approach in a bar, are in no need to converse in a gaming-forum dating advice thread. 
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A lot of us do rock climb. From what I've seen it's a great place to pick up girls, although you probably should be going because you actually enjoy it. All of the girls I've met there seem really nice, and are all in good to great shape, so it selects for attractive women. I started rock climbing because it got mentioned on here a lot, and I'd recommend it as well. Is there any other activity that does it so well? Most of my other activities are male dominated, like chess or video games.
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On February 18 2015 14:04 B.I.G. wrote:
Does entire TL do rock climbing to pick up chicks? Seriously what's wrong with bars? If you go there on a friday after work you dont meet a bunch of drunk sluts but a bunch of people who just got off work and are trying to take a load off (or however the expression goes).
When i go to a bar in Germany everbody sitzs around a table with the people he/she came in. Normally there is little communication between different groups of people. I know from travelling that its very different in other countrys, but in germany bars are awefull to pick up girls (in my personal oppinion of course).
On February 18 2015 12:02 waffelz wrote:
On a more serious note, my plans for getting me "out there" took quite a blow when realizing that my university seriously lacks in the activitys departement, even though it is quite big. I guess they dont want us to be occupied by useless funstuff.
what big university in germany lacks in the activitys department? (just courious)
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On February 18 2015 16:17 WarSame wrote:
A lot of us do rock climb. From what I've seen it's a great place to pick up girls, although you probably should be going because you actually enjoy it. All of the girls I've met there seem really nice, and are all in good to great shape, so it selects for attractive women. I started rock climbing because it got mentioned on here a lot, and I'd recommend it as well. Is there any other activity that does it so well? Most of my other activities are male dominated, like chess or video games.
Yoga maybe (Even if you aren't 'into it' it's good for flexibility which is always good)? Art classes/groups? Foreign language groups?
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On February 18 2015 16:17 WarSame wrote:
A lot of us do rock climb. From what I've seen it's a great place to pick up girls, although you probably should be going because you actually enjoy it. All of the girls I've met there seem really nice, and are all in good to great shape, so it selects for attractive women. I started rock climbing because it got mentioned on here a lot, and I'd recommend it as well. Is there any other activity that does it so well? Most of my other activities are male dominated, like chess or video games.
For starters there are all the other outdoor activities. (Hiking, sklacklining, mountainbiking, and so on). Were I live (Mainz) we had a fire making (with a fire drill) workshop. There were 15 girls and 5 guys. Dont ask me why.....
A lot of martial arts have a even gender distribution too. Also archery. Every arts thing you can imagine. Board game groups. Cooking Groups.
Over the holidays I startet crocheting with my grandmother :D, now I do it on long train or bus rides. There are three benefits to this: Girls start talking to you on their own. I make really good presents for birthdays and such. And its actually a lot of fun :D. (And im not a hipster, no beany will ever be made by me :D)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/pbHHE9K.jpg)
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On February 18 2015 17:27 Snotling wrote:Show nested quote +On February 18 2015 16:17 WarSame wrote:
A lot of us do rock climb. From what I've seen it's a great place to pick up girls, although you probably should be going because you actually enjoy it. All of the girls I've met there seem really nice, and are all in good to great shape, so it selects for attractive women. I started rock climbing because it got mentioned on here a lot, and I'd recommend it as well. Is there any other activity that does it so well? Most of my other activities are male dominated, like chess or video games. Were I live (Mainz) we had a fire making (with a fire drill) workshop.
Man that sounds cool.
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On February 17 2015 14:12 CatNzHat wrote:
Anyone here have experience with the whole multiple transparent multiple relationships at once poly thing? I kinda out of my depth here, not much content available on the subject...
Seems like unless you are actually committed and one of them demands it and never lie about these things to any party then dating multiple women is perfectly acceptable?
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Everytime I come back to this thread I have to cringe so hard 
being a player =/= disrespecting women. The best players always treat women well and leave a good impression. This said, the amount of 'white knightness' here is just wow...
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On February 18 2015 21:44 SoSexy wrote:Everytime I come back to this thread I have to cringe so hard being a player =/= disrespecting women. The best players always treat women well and leave a good impression. This said, the amount of 'white knightness' here is just wow...
Well, in defense of the whiteknights, you are quite the asshole.
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On February 18 2015 17:16 GreenHorizons wrote:Show nested quote +On February 18 2015 16:17 WarSame wrote:
A lot of us do rock climb. From what I've seen it's a great place to pick up girls, although you probably should be going because you actually enjoy it. All of the girls I've met there seem really nice, and are all in good to great shape, so it selects for attractive women. I started rock climbing because it got mentioned on here a lot, and I'd recommend it as well. Is there any other activity that does it so well? Most of my other activities are male dominated, like chess or video games. Yoga maybe (Even if you aren't 'into it' it's good for flexibility which is always good)? Art classes/groups? Foreign language groups?
Lifting in a crossfit gym is the nut high to meeting hot girls. This obviously assumes you like lifting, which I do. The very "elite" crossfit woman look a bit manly for my taste but most are hot, fit and apreciate an awesome back squat.
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As activities, we have:
Badminton, Boxing, Boxercise (Boxing with focus on fitness), Soccer, Judo, Mountainbiking at Night, Rugby, handball, sailing (only the theoretical part lol), ping-pong, learning how to swim, Feldenkrais (a body oriented pedagogical way of learning. Heard about it in my previous studys, seems like overhyped to me) and Yoga. There are other offerings, but they all cost quite a lot of money. All that for a university with over 25.000 students and while already cooperating with another university. No dancing, no climbing/hiking, no free language-courses. There are often courses to improve your soft-skills which dont cost that much but sound pretty much like a waste. I am not willed to invest a certain amount of money in something that I dont enjoy just to maybe get a girl.
Badminton and Yoga would be the only things that have a higher chance to attract girls and both are boring as hell. But their free, so maybe I give it a shot.
Also, Snotling is absoluteley correct about bars, they are not the way to pick up girls in germany, or at least not the girls that would cope with me. I am no party hard guy, I dont even drink alcohol and while I wouldnt mind if she does, a person that enjoys wasting their weekend on parties wouldnt fit very well. You have higher chances of meeting a girl in the ttrain and get into a conversation than on the bar and even that is pretty uncommon here in germany. We are the finns of central europe :D.
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Was away for a weekend. Friends are having a get together with some other people. Come back and check my facebook, two girls added me, I recognize one, have absolutely no idea who the other girl is. Ask my friend who knows them what the fuck is up (wouldn't surprise me if he told them to add me or something). He said he didn't but told me that girl A remembers me as the guy with the beautiful eyes and shit. Words that were mentioned when I've been talking to friends are "drooling, eyes that you can drown in.
Anyway, I have always been alone, never had gf or anything so I thought I'd talk to girl B (I consider girl A to be off limits because I am acquaintance with her ex). Said hello on FB to girl B, a day later she says hi back. Ask her if we have met before just to get the conversation going, no response still.
WHY THE FUCK DID YOU ADD ME IF YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK. I swear to god if she is trying to play some kind of game I will be quoting the ents from lord of the rings.
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EPT
