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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
Copymizer
Profile Joined November 2010
Denmark2107 Posts
January 03 2013 19:05 GMT
#1041
My main problems would be not going out too much and seeing many different people, tho i like go out, have fun drink etc. and 2nd i haven't encountered one i found highly interesting in terms of shareable interests and other things. I was dating a beautiful girl 1½ year ago but , despite the pretty face, style and everything i just didn't find her way too interesting, she was just too cliché girly girly, materialistic, pop music, talking and talking about generic general daily stuff each time we had coffee together, i must've got semi friendzoned. I might've been too passive to make a serious move myself instead of waiting for her to do anything especially since i'm the guy i MUST be the one taking a step to land of nowhere. I can easily talk with girls but i've learned being passive is a step backwards i guess, + i'm a little shy. That's it.
~~Yo man ! MBCGame HERO Fighting !! Holy check !
RaelSan
Profile Joined February 2012
Belgium223 Posts
January 03 2013 19:07 GMT
#1042
On January 04 2013 03:38 Grimmyman123 wrote:
Women are like vintage cars.

Some are built for comfort, some for speed. Some for looks, some for practicality.

So, the really pretty one, thats really fast, is going to be really expensive, and the comfy one that is practical is less expensive.

What is the expense? Mostly your money (because nearly that is all that women REALLY want) but also your time, effort, and emotions.

So, my advice is find the women that meets your budget (time and money) and don't let them walk all over you, because, each and every one of them, given the chance, will rip out your heart, and empty your bank account, both at the same time. Not one of them is exempt from that statement.


That's a really sad comparison
I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it
unit
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
United States2621 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-01-03 19:11:00
January 03 2013 19:08 GMT
#1043
On January 04 2013 04:05 Copymizer wrote:
I was dating a beautiful girl 1½ year ago but , despite the pretty face, style and everything i just didn't find her way too interesting, she was just too cliché girly girly, materialistic, pop music, talking and talking about generic general daily stuff each time we had coffee together,

[image loading]

just a rule of thumb, though she was probably almost as hot as she was crazy
Sitinte
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States499 Posts
January 03 2013 19:10 GMT
#1044
Oh, dating I have no problem with. It's overcoming that line that gets you into a relationship that's the biggest hurdle for me. Oh well. I don't need a relationship at the moment, so I'll just keep experimenting and getting experience.
HardlyNever
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States1258 Posts
January 03 2013 19:13 GMT
#1045
On January 04 2013 03:38 Grimmyman123 wrote:
Women are like vintage cars.

Some are built for comfort, some for speed. Some for looks, some for practicality.

So, the really pretty one, thats really fast, is going to be really expensive, and the comfy one that is practical is less expensive.

What is the expense? Mostly your money (because nearly that is all that women REALLY want) but also your time, effort, and emotions.

So, my advice is find the women that meets your budget (time and money) and don't let them walk all over you, because, each and every one of them, given the chance, will rip out your heart, and empty your bank account, both at the same time. Not one of them is exempt from that statement.


This is crap. Saying women are just in it for money is retarded. The worst of my exes, the one with the most issues and was the most selfish and self-serving spent more money on me than I did on her, when it was all said and done (I'm still playing the xbox 360 she gave me over 5 years ago).

Every relationship I've had the girl has spent close to the same amount of money on/for me as I have on her (I'm estimating here, I didn't actually keep track). Certainly within $1000, and probably closer to $200-$300 (again, an estimate).

It is this sort of advice that warps peoples' view on what needs and doesn't need to be done to "get a girl."
Out there, the Kid learned to fend for himself. Learned to build. Learned to break.
NEOtheONE
Profile Joined September 2010
United States2233 Posts
January 03 2013 19:16 GMT
#1046
On January 04 2013 03:46 NuKE[vZ] wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 04 2013 00:51 NuKE[vZ] wrote:
Been going out with this chick for a few months now... but she's from Europe and moved back due to school. We both agree we love each other, and I plan on visiting her in 4 months, but long distance relationships are weird... physical aspect of a relationship is so important, and I don't have much experiences with long distance relationships..


anyone have some pointers? lol



Anyone help me out with my situation? Just wondering if long distance has worked out... it's not a full time thing, we'll see each other again a few times, one day she'll be back for good, but I need some advice for the mean time :D



Well, I am engaged and in a long distance relationship. We're getting married next year. Been together for over 3 years, and it was long distance the whole time.

While the physical aspect of the relationship is hard to come by, if you both put the effort in, then you can really build the intimacy (non physical but emotional closeness) and other elements that will make the relationship last. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, as long as you are both committed to the relationship.
Abstracts, the too long didn't read of the educated world.
Emnjay808
Profile Blog Joined September 2011
United States10665 Posts
January 03 2013 19:19 GMT
#1047
It was just a few years ago when I thought dating or having a girlfriend was the most important thing in the world. But now all I care about is finishing my degree, getting a job, and finding my own place to stay. Funny how priorities shift as you get older. I do get that lonely feeling sometimes And I think about my ex on occasions, but not as much as I used to. I feel like in time everything will fall in place... Hopefully. But seriously, I just want to get my shit together before I think of getting into a relationship.
Skol
hp.Shell
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States2527 Posts
January 03 2013 19:20 GMT
#1048
It's true that some women will accept and even go on a date with you if it means they get free stuff: food, a movie, etc. Really it should be at least respectful of both parties, but there are girls out there that will happily waste your time knowing full well you want more. Those kinds of dates can be a real drag; they make you re-evaluate how you go about dating and what you really want and how to get there.
Please PM me with any songs you like that you think I haven't heard before!
Djzapz
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada10681 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-01-03 19:24:10
January 03 2013 19:22 GMT
#1049
I got dumped out of a 7-year relationship on dec 23rd and I'm reasonably certain this other girl just "friendzoned" me. Either that or she had mood swings that affect me. Either way: fuck. I'm interested in long term stuff at this point, so unfortunately I find myself being selective... can't do the long run with an idiot or a girl who can't handle interesting conversations. So many people are limited to smalltalk...
"My incompetence with power tools had been increasing exponentially over the course of 20 years spent inhaling experimental oven cleaners"
FliedLice
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Germany7494 Posts
January 03 2013 19:24 GMT
#1050
On January 04 2013 04:05 Copymizer wrote:
My main problems would be not going out too much and seeing many different people, tho i like go out, have fun drink etc. and 2nd i haven't encountered one i found highly interesting in terms of shareable interests and other things. I was dating a beautiful girl 1½ year ago but , despite the pretty face, style and everything i just didn't find her way too interesting, she was just too cliché girly girly, materialistic, pop music, talking and talking about generic general daily stuff each time we had coffee together, i must've got semi friendzoned. I might've been too passive to make a serious move myself instead of waiting for her to do anything especially since i'm the guy i MUST be the one taking a step to land of nowhere. I can easily talk with girls but i've learned being passive is a step backwards i guess, + i'm a little shy. That's it.


This is my problem, too... I guess.

Well this, or I end up just too drunk to make a somewhat sensible move.
Kevmeister @ Dota2
DuckS
Profile Joined September 2010
United States845 Posts
January 03 2013 19:34 GMT
#1051
Damn, recently?

Pretty fucking bad.
"You foiled us this time Americans, but your liberty will not protect your Marilyn Monroe forever - our Queen must FEED!" - Deleuze
adwodon
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United Kingdom592 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-01-03 19:36:13
January 03 2013 19:35 GMT
#1052
On January 04 2013 03:38 Grimmyman123 wrote:
Women are like vintage cars.

Some are built for comfort, some for speed. Some for looks, some for practicality.

So, the really pretty one, thats really fast, is going to be really expensive, and the comfy one that is practical is less expensive.

What is the expense? Mostly your money (because nearly that is all that women REALLY want) but also your time, effort, and emotions.

So, my advice is find the women that meets your budget (time and money) and don't let them walk all over you, because, each and every one of them, given the chance, will rip out your heart, and empty your bank account, both at the same time. Not one of them is exempt from that statement.


You sound like someone with little life experience who got burned once and now hates all women, quite pathetic really.
Either that or an 'internet dating expert' who's never actually met a real woman.

Sure, women are attracted to money, not all, but its the same way men are attracted to tits. It's a bonus, some men are super shallow and will judge a girl purely on her tits, but most will look beyond the shallow after a brief glance and actually get to know the person behind the tits and decide whether they are worth dating them. Flash some tits in a mans face and hey, you'll probably get lucky that night, but if you're a horrible person, selfish and otherwise unpleasant, don't expect a call back.

Simple as.

If you feel women only date you for your money, its probably because you're a selfish douchebag who's only redeeming quality is your money. Or you're just bitter. Congratulations.

On January 04 2013 03:44 Grimmyman123 wrote:
Reality Check for you.

Lets take an average girl, say... the pharmacist assistant at the nearby drug store, or maybe your neighbor, or maybe even your ex girlfriend. Lets then apply your logic that money does not matter. So, you are saying that any of these girls, will absolutely date and potentially fall in love with the welfare receipient at the soup truck. Really. No average girl would EVER be caught dead even approaching a welfare case knowingly.

Women are money grubbers. If you look the part, you might deceive them long enough to get their attention, but without the dress and deportement, and the car or house, you are not going to get her time of day. PERIOD.


That's to do with lifestyle and personality, a 'welfare recipient' isn't as likely to be intelligent, cultured and articulate. So if the girl is middle class she probably won't go for him. That being there are really obvious stereotypes that completely go against your argument. Ski instructors, surfers, barmen etc, hardly famed for their fortunes...

You also win no points for going to extremes, I can say that looks don't matter to me, but that doesn't mean I'd date a 300lb girl with a hairlip because that's an extreme, what about your pharmacist girl meeting someone with a stable but hardly impressive job, on a similar wage to her? Would she automatically discard him over a man who earns twice as much regardless of looks or personality?

As I said, money does matter, but it's a shallow element, a pass as a 'potential' date, some girls will rate it high as a potential, others don't really care, depends on the girl and even you said yourself, you can even fool some girls so actually in most cases it barely matters at all if you have all the other qualities she's after.
farvacola
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States18857 Posts
January 03 2013 19:38 GMT
#1053
On January 04 2013 04:22 Djzapz wrote:
I got dumped out of a 7-year relationship on dec 23rd and I'm reasonably certain this other girl just "friendzoned" me. Either that or she had mood swings that affect me. Either way: fuck. I'm interested in long term stuff at this point, so unfortunately I find myself being selective... can't do the long run with an idiot or a girl who can't handle interesting conversations. So many people are limited to smalltalk...

You are not alone, good sir. I find myself questioning my choice to date a girl I met at the gym at which I work part-time, as she has absolutely nothing worthwhile to say and I am forced to see her everyday. And when I say "nothing worthwhile to say", I'm being rather merciful with the language; this chick once asked a Jewish friend of mine, "So, like, which is your favorite Mosque in the area? I like the one with the pretty roof." Alas, the battle between hormonal impulse and intellectual sanity rages on
"when the Dead Kennedys found out they had skinhead fans, they literally wrote a song titled 'Nazi Punks Fuck Off'"
jimbob615
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
Uruguay455 Posts
January 03 2013 19:42 GMT
#1054
On January 04 2013 03:46 NuKE[vZ] wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 04 2013 00:51 NuKE[vZ] wrote:
Been going out with this chick for a few months now... but she's from Europe and moved back due to school. We both agree we love each other, and I plan on visiting her in 4 months, but long distance relationships are weird... physical aspect of a relationship is so important, and I don't have much experiences with long distance relationships..


anyone have some pointers? lol



Anyone help me out with my situation? Just wondering if long distance has worked out... it's not a full time thing, we'll see each other again a few times, one day she'll be back for good, but I need some advice for the mean time :D

i've been in a long distance relationship for 2 yrs now. when we first met i was initially with her for 10 days. i didn't see her again for another 10 months... then spent 2 months living with her over holiday break. then another 10 months apart and i'm living with her again now and very happy. and in the near future it's likely we'll be permanently together so i won't have to endure any more 10 month gaps ever again!

a LDR is a big commitment of your time and effort, and the most important factor i can think of is how you perceive your future together, and whether you have long term goals. if you don't have any plans to be together permanently in x number of years, it's hard to spend those countless nights away when it may seem to be for "nothing" in terms of your life plans.
however if you are very compatible with eachother and honestly love eachother, then it is very much possible. don't believe all the trash talk about people saying it can never work out.

me and my girlfriend started skyping everyday after work in the evening, and this eventually became a habit for me where it was simply part of my day. we normally talk for about an hour or so. it might seem overkill to some, but to me i think taking time out of every day you have to bond with your loved one, even if it's over video chat, is important to feeling that closeness that you might otherwise miss.

physically it can be hard, but doable. use the same coping strategies as when you're single (masturbate a lot, get her on skype, or just use porn if you want)

anyway my personal advice is try and take the time to skype at least once a day, minus the odd day here or there. if you're only communicating every few days to a week, then it might not be worthwhile because the chances of it not working out are a lot higher.
Djzapz
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada10681 Posts
January 03 2013 19:49 GMT
#1055
On January 04 2013 04:38 farvacola wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 04 2013 04:22 Djzapz wrote:
I got dumped out of a 7-year relationship on dec 23rd and I'm reasonably certain this other girl just "friendzoned" me. Either that or she had mood swings that affect me. Either way: fuck. I'm interested in long term stuff at this point, so unfortunately I find myself being selective... can't do the long run with an idiot or a girl who can't handle interesting conversations. So many people are limited to smalltalk...

You are not alone, good sir. I find myself questioning my choice to date a girl I met at the gym at which I work part-time, as she has absolutely nothing worthwhile to say and I am forced to see her everyday. And when I say "nothing worthwhile to say", I'm being rather merciful with the language; this chick once asked a Jewish friend of mine, "So, like, which is your favorite Mosque in the area? I like the one with the pretty roof." Alas, the battle between hormonal impulse and intellectual sanity rages on

That borders on a nosebleed-inducing level of dumb, but I like a woman who can appreciate pretty architectural features.
"My incompetence with power tools had been increasing exponentially over the course of 20 years spent inhaling experimental oven cleaners"
dBdHellRider
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
Sweden63 Posts
January 03 2013 20:06 GMT
#1056
Never been in a relationship where a girlfriend have accept me playing computer games as much as i do or editing pictures or video clips.
Last GF i had didnt accept that i play as much i did, i´m atleast 10-12h on my computer everyday, Gaming is my life but i´m also editing pictures and video clips, and that takes time. So i broke it off after almost 2 years, and now i can concentrate on doing WHAT I WANT instead of getting 6 billion text messages every 5min. i´m single now and only looking for a gaming girl and if i dont find a girl that accept what i do, i will proudly live single and enjoy my gaming time until i die.

IF a girl is extremely selfish and vain and dont accept your gaming time GET RID OF HER, better that you are happy then having a girl that control you life and makes you unhappy.

And i dont understand how ppl can say "bitches" that person/s got to be a retard or a women hater (or gay) or (you´r 12 years old and never been in a real relationship)

If you cant handle a girl or accept her demands in the right way, then be single and do what you want, BE FREE
BUT i will keep looking for that one that will accept me for who i am
http://www.twitch.tv/nippletwisterswe
farvacola
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States18857 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-01-03 20:18:47
January 03 2013 20:18 GMT
#1057
On January 04 2013 04:49 Djzapz wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 04 2013 04:38 farvacola wrote:
On January 04 2013 04:22 Djzapz wrote:
I got dumped out of a 7-year relationship on dec 23rd and I'm reasonably certain this other girl just "friendzoned" me. Either that or she had mood swings that affect me. Either way: fuck. I'm interested in long term stuff at this point, so unfortunately I find myself being selective... can't do the long run with an idiot or a girl who can't handle interesting conversations. So many people are limited to smalltalk...

You are not alone, good sir. I find myself questioning my choice to date a girl I met at the gym at which I work part-time, as she has absolutely nothing worthwhile to say and I am forced to see her everyday. And when I say "nothing worthwhile to say", I'm being rather merciful with the language; this chick once asked a Jewish friend of mine, "So, like, which is your favorite Mosque in the area? I like the one with the pretty roof." Alas, the battle between hormonal impulse and intellectual sanity rages on

That borders on a nosebleed-inducing level of dumb, but I like a woman who can appreciate pretty architectural features.

Haha indeed. Let's just say that my meeting this girl at a locale dedicated to physical activity is quite fitting; this ain't no library chick
"when the Dead Kennedys found out they had skinhead fans, they literally wrote a song titled 'Nazi Punks Fuck Off'"
sam!zdat
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States5559 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-01-03 20:27:37
January 03 2013 20:23 GMT
#1058
On January 04 2013 04:38 farvacola wrote:
Alas, the battle between hormonal impulse and intellectual sanity rages on


My strategy is to limit myself to using "you know, the Spirit is a bone" as a pickup line. When somebody responds to that, I'll know I've met my soulmate.

It's like my friend said to me the other day. "You know, I really just want a girl who will critique my reading of 'The 18th Brumaire of Louis Napoleon.'"
shikata ga nai
Copymizer
Profile Joined November 2010
Denmark2107 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-01-03 20:31:18
January 03 2013 20:28 GMT
#1059
On January 04 2013 04:08 unit wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 04 2013 04:05 Copymizer wrote:
I was dating a beautiful girl 1½ year ago but , despite the pretty face, style and everything i just didn't find her way too interesting, she was just too cliché girly girly, materialistic, pop music, talking and talking about generic general daily stuff each time we had coffee together,

[image loading]

just a rule of thumb, though she was probably almost as hot as she was crazy

According to that model i would say she was alot lot hotter than she was crazy, if i showed a pic you'd say i fucked up big time. In the end her personality just wasn't that interesting to and all the small talk was no interesting to me despite everything else being +
~~Yo man ! MBCGame HERO Fighting !! Holy check !
farvacola
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States18857 Posts
January 03 2013 20:34 GMT
#1060
On January 04 2013 05:23 sam!zdat wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 04 2013 04:38 farvacola wrote:
Alas, the battle between hormonal impulse and intellectual sanity rages on


My strategy is to limit myself to using "you know, the Spirit is a bone" as a pickup line. When somebody responds to that, I'll know I've met my soulmate.

It's like my friend said to me the other day. "You know, I really just want a girl who will critique my reading of 'The 18th Brumaire of Louis Napoleon.'"

Bahaha, this reminds me of the time I attempted to woo a girl in my Modernism class via partnering up with her and insisting that we do our research project on a Historicist reading of Passage to India. She had thick rimmed glasses, a cute sense of hipster nerd fashion, and a willingness to answer questions in class. She did not, however, see the fun in playing games with Hegel. I believe the last thing she said to me was "You seem so concerned with history, I'm really more about the future." I decided that that was time to let her go.
"when the Dead Kennedys found out they had skinhead fans, they literally wrote a song titled 'Nazi Punks Fuck Off'"
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