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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
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4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On January 04 2013 06:10 Tien wrote:Show nested quote +On January 04 2013 03:44 Grimmyman123 wrote:
Reality Check for you.
Lets take an average girl, say... the pharmacist assistant at the nearby drug store, or maybe your neighbor, or maybe even your ex girlfriend. Lets then apply your logic that money does not matter. So, you are saying that any of these girls, will absolutely date and potentially fall in love with the welfare receipient at the soup truck. Really. No average girl would EVER be caught dead even approaching a welfare case knowingly.
Women are money grubbers. If you look the part, you might deceive them long enough to get their attention, but without the dress and deportement, and the car or house, you are not going to get her time of day. PERIOD.
Jesus I didn't realize this thread had so many woman haters. It's not wrong for a female to not want to date a broke ass man that dresses like a beggar. Why is the man a broke ass man in the first place? The reasons why often make him unattractive. No self confidence. Not smart. Doing nothing with his life. Those are not very desirable qualities. People don't want to associate themselves with losers doing nothing with their life, you don't call them money grubbers, you call them realists.
Thank you for confirming. Status and wealth are more important than the mental part.
Just because someone is below the poverty line doesn't mean that they are not experienced in love and life, dont deserve either, and that they are not inteligent.
It amazing me how there is the general assumptoion that because someone is on welfare or empoverished, they therefore dress poorly, are dirty, stupid, undeducated, and worthless.
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i never tried dating. my wife now of 3 years saw me in a zerg tshirt and was like "what is that?" Then the rest is history! No joke lol.
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On January 04 2013 06:17 Shiragaku wrote:Show nested quote +On January 04 2013 06:10 Tien wrote:On January 04 2013 03:44 Grimmyman123 wrote:
Reality Check for you.
Lets take an average girl, say... the pharmacist assistant at the nearby drug store, or maybe your neighbor, or maybe even your ex girlfriend. Lets then apply your logic that money does not matter. So, you are saying that any of these girls, will absolutely date and potentially fall in love with the welfare receipient at the soup truck. Really. No average girl would EVER be caught dead even approaching a welfare case knowingly.
Women are money grubbers. If you look the part, you might deceive them long enough to get their attention, but without the dress and deportement, and the car or house, you are not going to get her time of day. PERIOD.
Jesus I didn't realize this thread had so many woman haters. It's not wrong for a female to not want to date a broke ass man that dresses like a beggar. Why is the man a broke ass man in the first place? The reasons why often make him unattractive. No self confidence. Not smart. Doing nothing with his life. Those are not very desirable qualities. People don't want to associate themselves with losers doing nothing with their life, you don't call them money grubbers, you call them realists. What I find worst is the nice guy mentality. Too many of those guys think they are the ideal guy and that if the girl had a brain, she would date them. Maybe the guy is right, but the mindset is awful, it is uncompromising. My older sister dated nice guys at one point, but stopped because too many of them would not do anything or sacrifice anything for the relationship, although the guy during the breakup will always claim they sacrificed everything. I am very uncompromising when it comes to relationships and will probably remain single for most of my life which I am fine with since I naturally would not want a guy who is like that as well, but for the love of God do not paint yourself as this great hidden gem that goes unnoticed.
Whenever a guy (or a girl for that matter) claim that something ALWAYS (or "never") happens to them it's usually their fault for not taking the hint that their behaviour is the source of that thing.
Coincidently those cases are usually also the ones who are mostly looking to whine about their situation instead of taking advice.
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On January 04 2013 06:10 r.Evo wrote:Show nested quote +On January 04 2013 05:53 myBattleship wrote:On January 04 2013 04:20 hp.Shell wrote:
It's true that some women will accept and even go on a date with you if it means they get free stuff: food, a movie, etc. Really it should be at least respectful of both parties, but there are girls out there that will happily waste your time knowing full well you want more. Those kinds of dates can be a real drag; they make you re-evaluate how you go about dating and what you really want and how to get there. that's very true! haha funny, I've been on a few of these kind of dates. The thing is at the end of it, no matter how stupid it sounds I have asked them directly "is this going anywhere? should we grab a few drinks at my place?" simply because I felt like either they didn't know what they were looking for/wanting or they were just so desperate for some kind of a date where they get to enjoy free dinner/drinks. Nothing against them ofcourse, just after that one date almost 80% of them don't bother calling you back. So I just confront them right then and there. If 80% of the women you're dating don't want a second date the issue is most likely on your end, not on the girls. Asking the question you proposed is asking to crash and burn for example.
I'm talking about time wasting dates, the problem isn't with me. I'm pretty sure, since I have a girlfriend.
And the question I asked them wasn't crazy at all, because they were wasting my time. If you're still 15 years old, you have plenty of time to waste but at my age I don't feel like I wanna just do these mundane, going nowhere dates and waste both mine and her time. And believe me, you feel when the women you're with is just going through the motions. Instead of dragging on the evening, and trying to somehow turn it all around and make her fall in love with me, I don't think it's wrong to end the date right then and there.
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On January 04 2013 06:21 Tien wrote:Show nested quote +On January 04 2013 06:18 Grimmyman123 wrote:
And you live in a utopian land where women really want to meet you only to see if you are smart and witty, and that your status, wealth, and appearance have nothing to do with the equation.
Wake up and smell the roses. I've done my fair bit of dating over the decades, and the fact is, women want money and status FIRST, Appearance SECOND, and after any other materials, they want love/affection etc.
There is no room for discussion, this is fact.
There was a lovely video where some univeristy students went around, and asked girls if they have guy friends, and their position if they would shack up with their guy 'friend' and if their guy friend would at an opportunity shack up with them. Turns out, women were pretty delusional, until logic prevailed and they realised the truth of the situation. The reason why nobody wants to keep dating you is because you aren't fun to date. It's very simple. Of course appearance has something to do with it. Who the hell wants to date a troll? Men are the most superficial ones of them all. If your appearances are shit, fix it. Dress better, get healthier, go to the gym and lose weight, or gain weight if you're way too skinny. Do something to make your own life better. Women want to have FUN FIRST. You don't provide ANY FUN, ITS YOUR FAULT, NOT THEIRS.
Fun: Read: means taking women out and spending money on her. Buying her dinner, drinks, and a limo ride home.
Fun = $$$$
A Walk down the street - = free therefore is NOT FUN.
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On January 04 2013 06:18 Grimmyman123 wrote:Show nested quote +On January 04 2013 04:35 adwodon wrote:On January 04 2013 03:38 Grimmyman123 wrote:
Women are like vintage cars.
Some are built for comfort, some for speed. Some for looks, some for practicality.
So, the really pretty one, thats really fast, is going to be really expensive, and the comfy one that is practical is less expensive.
What is the expense? Mostly your money (because nearly that is all that women REALLY want) but also your time, effort, and emotions.
So, my advice is find the women that meets your budget (time and money) and don't let them walk all over you, because, each and every one of them, given the chance, will rip out your heart, and empty your bank account, both at the same time. Not one of them is exempt from that statement. You sound like someone with little life experience who got burned once and now hates all women, quite pathetic really. Either that or an 'internet dating expert' who's never actually met a real woman. Sure, women are attracted to money, not all, but its the same way men are attracted to tits. It's a bonus, some men are super shallow and will judge a girl purely on her tits, but most will look beyond the shallow after a brief glance and actually get to know the person behind the tits and decide whether they are worth dating them. Flash some tits in a mans face and hey, you'll probably get lucky that night, but if you're a horrible person, selfish and otherwise unpleasant, don't expect a call back. Simple as. If you feel women only date you for your money, its probably because you're a selfish douchebag who's only redeeming quality is your money. Or you're just bitter. Congratulations. On January 04 2013 03:44 Grimmyman123 wrote:
Reality Check for you.
Lets take an average girl, say... the pharmacist assistant at the nearby drug store, or maybe your neighbor, or maybe even your ex girlfriend. Lets then apply your logic that money does not matter. So, you are saying that any of these girls, will absolutely date and potentially fall in love with the welfare receipient at the soup truck. Really. No average girl would EVER be caught dead even approaching a welfare case knowingly.
Women are money grubbers. If you look the part, you might deceive them long enough to get their attention, but without the dress and deportement, and the car or house, you are not going to get her time of day. PERIOD.
That's to do with lifestyle and personality, a 'welfare recipient' isn't as likely to be intelligent, cultured and articulate. So if the girl is middle class she probably won't go for him. That being there are really obvious stereotypes that completely go against your argument. Ski instructors, surfers, barmen etc, hardly famed for their fortunes... You also win no points for going to extremes, I can say that looks don't matter to me, but that doesn't mean I'd date a 300lb girl with a hairlip because that's an extreme, what about your pharmacist girl meeting someone with a stable but hardly impressive job, on a similar wage to her? Would she automatically discard him over a man who earns twice as much regardless of looks or personality? As I said, money does matter, but it's a shallow element, a pass as a 'potential' date, some girls will rate it high as a potential, others don't really care, depends on the girl and even you said yourself, you can even fool some girls so actually in most cases it barely matters at all if you have all the other qualities she's after. And you live in a utopian land where women really want to meet you only to see if you are smart and witty, and that your status, wealth, and appearance have nothing to do with the equation. Wake up and smell the roses. I've done my fair bit of dating over the decades, and the fact is, women want money and status FIRST, Appearance SECOND, and after any other materials, they want love/affection etc. There is no room for discussion, this is fact. There was a lovely video where some univeristy students went around, and asked girls if they have guy friends, and their position if they would shack up with their guy 'friend' and if their guy friend would at an opportunity shack up with them. Turns out, women were pretty delusional, until logic prevailed and they realised the truth of the situation.
That statement is just as legitimate as saying that the only thing men care about is sex and nothing else.
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just broke up with my gf, or we decided to just be friends(with benefits) so im just letting things settle a little before i start dating again
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I'll admit that. First thing on most mens minds ( if not all) is physical attraction.
Difference between women and men, is that men don't lie about it, and its well known that physical appearance is a mans primary indicator.
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On January 04 2013 06:18 Grimmyman123 wrote:Show nested quote +On January 04 2013 04:35 adwodon wrote:On January 04 2013 03:38 Grimmyman123 wrote:
Women are like vintage cars.
Some are built for comfort, some for speed. Some for looks, some for practicality.
So, the really pretty one, thats really fast, is going to be really expensive, and the comfy one that is practical is less expensive.
What is the expense? Mostly your money (because nearly that is all that women REALLY want) but also your time, effort, and emotions.
So, my advice is find the women that meets your budget (time and money) and don't let them walk all over you, because, each and every one of them, given the chance, will rip out your heart, and empty your bank account, both at the same time. Not one of them is exempt from that statement. You sound like someone with little life experience who got burned once and now hates all women, quite pathetic really. Either that or an 'internet dating expert' who's never actually met a real woman. Sure, women are attracted to money, not all, but its the same way men are attracted to tits. It's a bonus, some men are super shallow and will judge a girl purely on her tits, but most will look beyond the shallow after a brief glance and actually get to know the person behind the tits and decide whether they are worth dating them. Flash some tits in a mans face and hey, you'll probably get lucky that night, but if you're a horrible person, selfish and otherwise unpleasant, don't expect a call back. Simple as. If you feel women only date you for your money, its probably because you're a selfish douchebag who's only redeeming quality is your money. Or you're just bitter. Congratulations. On January 04 2013 03:44 Grimmyman123 wrote:
Reality Check for you.
Lets take an average girl, say... the pharmacist assistant at the nearby drug store, or maybe your neighbor, or maybe even your ex girlfriend. Lets then apply your logic that money does not matter. So, you are saying that any of these girls, will absolutely date and potentially fall in love with the welfare receipient at the soup truck. Really. No average girl would EVER be caught dead even approaching a welfare case knowingly.
Women are money grubbers. If you look the part, you might deceive them long enough to get their attention, but without the dress and deportement, and the car or house, you are not going to get her time of day. PERIOD.
That's to do with lifestyle and personality, a 'welfare recipient' isn't as likely to be intelligent, cultured and articulate. So if the girl is middle class she probably won't go for him. That being there are really obvious stereotypes that completely go against your argument. Ski instructors, surfers, barmen etc, hardly famed for their fortunes... You also win no points for going to extremes, I can say that looks don't matter to me, but that doesn't mean I'd date a 300lb girl with a hairlip because that's an extreme, what about your pharmacist girl meeting someone with a stable but hardly impressive job, on a similar wage to her? Would she automatically discard him over a man who earns twice as much regardless of looks or personality? As I said, money does matter, but it's a shallow element, a pass as a 'potential' date, some girls will rate it high as a potential, others don't really care, depends on the girl and even you said yourself, you can even fool some girls so actually in most cases it barely matters at all if you have all the other qualities she's after. And you live in a utopian land where women really want to meet you only to see if you are smart and witty, and that your status, wealth, and appearance have nothing to do with the equation. Wake up and smell the roses. I've done my fair bit of dating over the decades, and the fact is, women want money and status FIRST, Appearance SECOND, and after any other materials, they want love/affection etc. There is no room for discussion, this is fact. There was a lovely video where some univeristy students went around, and asked girls if they have guy friends, and their position if they would shack up with their guy 'friend' and if their guy friend would at an opportunity shack up with them. Turns out, women were pretty delusional, until logic prevailed and they realised the truth of the situation.
And this is a "fact"... why? Because you say so?
What matters, to be completely precise, is the perception of status, the perception of a great appearance. For example a men isn't exactly attractive because he's good looking, but because other women seem to perceive him as good looking.
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Russian Federation4447 Posts
On January 04 2013 06:22 Grimmyman123 wrote:
Fun: Read: means taking women out and spending money on her. Buying her dinner, drinks, and a limo ride home.
Fun = $$$$
A Walk down the street - = free therefore is NOT FUN.
I can already tell nobody would have fun with you on a date even if you spent 500$ that night.
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United States15275 Posts
Too busy to go hunting for women.
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On January 04 2013 06:22 Grimmyman123 wrote:Show nested quote +On January 04 2013 06:21 Tien wrote:On January 04 2013 06:18 Grimmyman123 wrote:
And you live in a utopian land where women really want to meet you only to see if you are smart and witty, and that your status, wealth, and appearance have nothing to do with the equation.
Wake up and smell the roses. I've done my fair bit of dating over the decades, and the fact is, women want money and status FIRST, Appearance SECOND, and after any other materials, they want love/affection etc.
There is no room for discussion, this is fact.
There was a lovely video where some univeristy students went around, and asked girls if they have guy friends, and their position if they would shack up with their guy 'friend' and if their guy friend would at an opportunity shack up with them. Turns out, women were pretty delusional, until logic prevailed and they realised the truth of the situation. The reason why nobody wants to keep dating you is because you aren't fun to date. It's very simple. Of course appearance has something to do with it. Who the hell wants to date a troll? Men are the most superficial ones of them all. If your appearances are shit, fix it. Dress better, get healthier, go to the gym and lose weight, or gain weight if you're way too skinny. Do something to make your own life better. Women want to have FUN FIRST. You don't provide ANY FUN, ITS YOUR FAULT, NOT THEIRS. Fun: Read: means taking women out and spending money on her. Buying her dinner, drinks, and a limo ride home. Fun = $$$$ A Walk down the street - = free therefore is NOT FUN.
Bullshit.
If you ARE fun enough to be someone others enjoy being around it can go the other way around rather easily, all the way to women buying the man drinks, dinner and a flight to their place.
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Could be better, TW/KR server and I broke up a few months ago. Currently Im dating HOTS just because WOL has too many BM going on, I play zerg so go figure.
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On January 04 2013 06:30 Tien wrote:Show nested quote +On January 04 2013 06:22 Grimmyman123 wrote:
Fun: Read: means taking women out and spending money on her. Buying her dinner, drinks, and a limo ride home.
Fun = $$$$
A Walk down the street - = free therefore is NOT FUN.
I can already tell nobody would have fun with you on a date even if you spent 500$ that night.
Nah, because if I am taking a girl out, and having a helluva good time, I'd spend more than that.
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http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/
This should be a required read for pretty much everyone talking about importance of 'mental part' over 'status and wealth', it's really so spot on.
The fact is, majority of people in the western world are poor because they deserve to be. Yes, there are some people with circumstances, medical conditions, whatever - but then again, if you have issues that legitimately prevent you from being at least somewhat successful in life (not talking about having a private jet, but at least a steady job and enough money to cover a car / mortgage), what makes you think anyone should want to get entangled with that?
also, the comment about having to spend money to 'have a good time' is ridiculous, lol. Of course it depends on what type of women you want to date, but bottom line you don't need more than a cup of coffee if you actually have something in common or something interesting to share with the person you are dating. If anything, most girls would be turned off by a guy spending too much money on their date.
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On January 04 2013 06:34 Grimmyman123 wrote:Show nested quote +On January 04 2013 06:30 Tien wrote:On January 04 2013 06:22 Grimmyman123 wrote:
Fun: Read: means taking women out and spending money on her. Buying her dinner, drinks, and a limo ride home.
Fun = $$$$
A Walk down the street - = free therefore is NOT FUN.
I can already tell nobody would have fun with you on a date even if you spent 500$ that night. Nah, because if I am taking a girl out, and having a helluva good time, I'd spend more than that.
lol you think you're cool
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United States15275 Posts
On January 04 2013 06:35 Salazarz wrote:http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/This should be a required read for pretty much everyone talking about importance of 'mental part' over 'status and wealth', it's really so spot on. The fact is, majority of people in the western world are poor because they deserve to be. Yes, there are some people with circumstances, medical conditions, whatever - but then again, if you have issues that legitimately prevent you from being at least somewhat successful in life (not talking about having a private jet, but at least a steady job and enough money to cover a car / mortgage), what makes you think anyone should want to get entangled with that?
LMAO you choose that website to get "real honest truths" when it's known for its overbearing, smug cynicism and factual inaccuracy?
On January 04 2013 06:34 Grimmyman123 wrote:Show nested quote +On January 04 2013 06:30 Tien wrote:On January 04 2013 06:22 Grimmyman123 wrote:
Fun: Read: means taking women out and spending money on her. Buying her dinner, drinks, and a limo ride home.
Fun = $$$$
A Walk down the street - = free therefore is NOT FUN.
I can already tell nobody would have fun with you on a date even if you spent 500$ that night. Nah, because if I am taking a girl out, and having a helluva good time, I'd spend more than that.
But they are not the same thing, as you have just admitted. I assume you wouldn't spend a lot of money if you were bored out of your mind with the girl.
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On January 04 2013 06:34 Grimmyman123 wrote:Show nested quote +On January 04 2013 06:30 Tien wrote:On January 04 2013 06:22 Grimmyman123 wrote:
Fun: Read: means taking women out and spending money on her. Buying her dinner, drinks, and a limo ride home.
Fun = $$$$
A Walk down the street - = free therefore is NOT FUN.
I can already tell nobody would have fun with you on a date even if you spent 500$ that night. Nah, because if I am taking a girl out, and having a helluva good time, I'd spend more than that.
I can understand why girls would only date you for money because that is the only thing you can offer.
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@Evo, Tien: I tend to agree that the best way would probably be to strike a simple conversation up, and take it from there, judge the reaction.
@Evo: I think you're right regarding me being zoned in. I think its probably because I don't get alot of fresh exposure to new people in my life. I need to do activities that encourage socializing.
@Battleship: You raise a really good point - why do I like her and what am I looking for? Obviously she doesn't need to like sc2. I think I like her because she has a lot of qualities that appeal to me in a girl. She's not a rambunctious crazy girl, shes cool, smart, pretty, collected. Has similar interests to me. Is someone I can see myself with. And when these kinds of girls come around, show interest in me or in hanging out with me, I get all wrapped up in the mental aspect of it and dig myself into a hole. Fear is a strong force. And I do drink, although often not heavily, and have noticed that I get chatty and more loose when I do.
Already, just by posting, I feel better, like I can actually do something about this instead of obsessing. I'm bad at over-thinking things.
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On January 04 2013 05:52 Mistakes wrote:Show nested quote +On January 04 2013 02:26 SigmaoctanusIV wrote:On January 04 2013 02:23 Ctesias wrote:
Met my first and hopefully last girlfriend 9 years ago, when I was 15. Still together, and been living together for the last 3 years. Everything's swell. Celebrating 10 year anniversary in 7 months. Holy shit my story is exactly the same but we are at 8 years this march. Started Dating at 15 woah dude seriously that is fucking crazy. Glad I am not the only person out there. God damn. I met my girlfriend when I was 15, 5 years ago now. I was thinking our situations were pretty rare. xD
I would say it is pretty rare. Anecdotal evidence: irl I have only met one other couple that dated as long as I and my gf have.
I would say we are lucky bastards.
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EPT
