Dating: How's your luck? - Page 528

On August 05 2014 18:41 DrCooper wrote:

Okay, so you want a well mannered, nice, not slutty, not partying and not drinking type of girl, that is also really good in bed, is really cool and social and that has some common interests?

On August 05 2014 18:41 DrCooper wrote:

Okay, so you want a well mannered, nice, not slutty, not partying and not drinking type of girl, that is also really good in bed, is really cool and social and that has some common interests?

On August 05 2014 14:00 Livelovedie wrote:
Bleh. I think I have come to the realization that its for the best that I break up with my girlfriend. We have been dating for almost two years at this point and have had almost all ups. Every time we go out together, or even if we just stay in and watch movies, we tend to have a lot of fun together, no matter what we do. Unfortunately, every time there seems to be a long-distance relationship, like the summer (we are college juniors) she stops being affectionate and giving me the love that I feel I need. Summer is rapidly coming to an end and we have facetimed/skyped a grand total of three times this summer with all of those times being at the beginning. All we ever do now is text and those have become a lot more sporadic on both ends it seems. There seems to be no desire for physical intimacy from her, as she has no mentioned wanting anything like that the whole summer which kind of hurts my ego, even though it maybe shouldn't. I can't even get a picture of her face from snapchat anymore. Some of her not skyping/facetiming me is her parent's disdain from me, but am I wrong to feel like she could find a way to facetime me when she is in the parking lot before work or stay late? I always text her every morning when I wake up to tell her I love her but now she responds later in the day when I know she has been up for awhile or she starts a conversation without saying that she loves me at all. She use to do the same when she went to bed, but I can't remember the last time she told me she loved me before she went to bed. All the times she says she loves me seem to be because of routine, not because she has became overwhelmed with the feeling, and I admittedly, have started to do the same.

I have tried to bring up the lack of intimacy and love I am feeling but she shuts down when that happens and seems to be allergic to any sort of potential disagreement and conflict that can arise, even if it is necessary to work out a problem. When the fall semester resumes she will be going to London to study abroad and I will be going back to school where we usually see each other. I am graduating a semester early so there is only semester that we would see each other after that because I plan to go abroad next fall and then join the peace corps. She is working a lot now, admittedly, but she plans to go to law school and I honestly can't see her ever putting me in front of her work life. I don't blame her for that, because my plans after college put myself in front of her as well. I guess it sucks realizing we are selfish beings, but I realize that this is the time to be selfish if I don't want any regrets. If I felt like we had a solid basis to continue a long distance relationship I would try to make it work, but I feel like since we don't there are too many obstacles in the way. I am strongly considering ending it when we potentially meet up at the school in a couple weeks (she lives close to the school and I am arriving before she leaves for London) when I get there and I would prefer to not end it by text. It just sucks knowing that I might be ending something not because we hated each other, but because it just kind of lost that spark.

On August 05 2014 18:41 DrCooper wrote:

Okay, so you want a well mannered, nice, not slutty, not partying and not drinking type of girl, that is also really good in bed, is really cool and social and that has some common interests?

On August 05 2014 21:23 Liquid`Drone wrote:
yeah, I don't think it's really the case at all. The "mechanics" of sex is not the hard part of being a good lover. For a girl, it largely revolves around not having all the regular female inhibitions, and that's usually more a case of her being mature and comfortable around you. For a guy, it's largely about not being selfish. In addition to that, there's also this element of like, the two of you connecting in more than a pure physical penis is inside vagina way, and experience doesn't help much in that regard.

Not that experience is irrelevant, not at all. But you can easily have great sex the 5th time you're having sex if you're both really into each other.

On August 05 2014 21:54 Snotling wrote:


you all take this very serious^^

On August 06 2014 00:48 Liquid`Drone wrote:


well the thing is that this is a dating thread where lots of young, confused and inexperienced men come in looking for advice. And it's actually a problem for quite a lot of guys that they struggle with lacking sexual confidence; their inexperience becomes a crutch keeping them from gaining experience because they are afraid to disappoint. And to be fair, the first time you're not gonna be great almost regardless of chemistry, but it's not like you need to have had a lot of sex before you turn into a capable lover - and that goes for both genders.

On August 05 2014 18:05 Kleinmuuhg wrote:
If you drink occasionally but find girls attractive who dont drink then thats maybe a little weird but fine. It only gets hypocritical if you criticise them for drinking and ask them to stop.

On August 06 2014 02:30 IgnE wrote:


When people say, "I don't want a girl who drinks" most of the time they are casting aspersions on the character of any girl that drinks, not stating a preference rooted in practical compatibility or the like. There's an element of censure in a statement like "I don't want a girl who drinks" that is not present in a statement like "I wouldn't want to date a service worker because they would always be working on the weekends."

On August 06 2014 02:42 GreenHorizons wrote:


Kind of weird I hadn't thought about how a work schedule (something as simple as working weekends [not like constantly traveling]) could really prevent someone from meeting/getting to know someone who could be 'the one'.

Yeah most people don't have a problem with drinking itself it's usually what they do while or after drinking that is the problem. Not to mention that heavy consistent drinking is usually masking a deeper larger problem. From my experience it is usually what is commonly referred to as 'daddy issues'.

On August 05 2014 14:08 IgnE wrote:


Seems a bit hypocritical to say you like going to social events that involve drinking but that you aren't "sure if [you] actually like the girls that do that kind of stuff."

On August 06 2014 03:25 Chocolate wrote:

I phrased this a bit weirdly, and I suppose it is slightly hypocritical, but the girls that go out to party just don't appeal to me very much. I like to have a good time with my friends and all, but the girls that are there typically are either girlfriends or girls that are known to put out easily.

On August 06 2014 03:25 Chocolate wrote:

I phrased this a bit weirdly, and I suppose it is slightly hypocritical, but the girls that go out to party just don't appeal to me very much. I like to have a good time with my friends and all, but the girls that are there typically are either girlfriends or girls that are known to put out easily.