EPTDating: How's your luck? - Page 527
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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iamahydralisk
United States813 Posts
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iamahydralisk
United States813 Posts
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Chocolate
United States2350 Posts
I've heard that a lot of girls go crazy and that you shouldn't try to get serious with a girl until the second semester | ||
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Xiphos
Canada7507 Posts
On August 03 2014 14:47 Chocolate wrote: Yo what should I expect first week-month of college? What advice would you give, having been in that situation? I've heard that a lot of girls go crazy and that you shouldn't try to get serious with a girl until the second semester What are your interests? List them. If you find an attractive lady, mention them and see her reaction toward it. If positive, then get her contact information. If not, then move on. The key is to just make acquaintance with as much people of your common interest and make a strong impression. Say that you have 10 girl's phone number that share your interests. Try messaging them simultaneously and whoever that reciprocate the most to your action, she is probably girlfriend material. | ||
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Chocolate
United States2350 Posts
On August 03 2014 14:51 Xiphos wrote: What are your interests? List them. If you find an attractive lady, mention them and see her reaction toward it. If positive, then get her contact information. If not, then move on. The key is to just make acquaintance with as much people of your common interest and make a strong impression. Say that you have 10 girl's phone number that share your interests. Try messaging them simultaneously and whoever that reciprocate the most to your action, she is probably girlfriend material. Well, I like movies, books, and am in the process of getting in to fitness. I'd like to get into music too, but I'm not there yet. I'd almost certainly like cooking if I had the capacity to partake, but I don't have the opportunity. I also like some video games, math, physical sciences, and coding but I don't think many women like that kind of stuff. I'm sure there's other stuff I'm missing Not really sure how pertinent that is though. I'm more just asking for advice in general I'm just kind of wondering where do I meet girls in the beginning? I'm actually 17 and have almost 60 credits so most of the people in my classes are going to be 2-3 years older than me (except for in just one class I'm taking, my math class, but I figure there won't be many girls in it since it's geared towards the kind of people that do math competitions). I like going to parties and other ethanol-lubricated social events but I'm not sure if I actually like the girls that do that kind of stuff, if you know what I mean. I guess I'll look for girls with similar interests and network through people I meet, but that seems like a pretty basic plan, and I'm wondering if there is any more specific advice | ||
KwarK
United States41958 Posts
On August 03 2014 13:52 iamahydralisk wrote: Update for y'all: Broke up with the GF today because she tried to get physically violent with me (not the first time) and the last time she did it, I told her things would be over if she ever did it again. I'm hurting a lot right now, but I can take some solace in knowing that it's truly for the best. Good for you, domestic violence is never acceptable. I'm happy you got out of an abusive relationship, nobody deserves that. Don't go back, no matter what she says. People don't change and domestic violence typically only escalates. There are, or at least ought to be in your country, services that will help protect you should you continue to feel threatened. | ||
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c0ldfusion
United States8293 Posts
On August 03 2014 13:52 iamahydralisk wrote: Update for y'all: Broke up with the GF today because she tried to get physically violent with me (not the first time) and the last time she did it, I told her things would be over if she ever did it again. I'm hurting a lot right now, but I can take some solace in knowing that it's truly for the best. That's rough. Hang in there. | ||
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Slayers_Red.Cracker
36 Posts
On August 03 2014 15:00 Chocolate wrote: Well, I like movies, books, and am in the process of getting in to fitness. I'd like to get into music too, but I'm not there yet. I'd almost certainly like cooking if I had the capacity to partake, but I don't have the opportunity. I also like some video games, math, physical sciences, and coding but I don't think many women like that kind of stuff. I'm sure there's other stuff I'm missing Not really sure how pertinent that is though. I'm more just asking for advice in general I'm just kind of wondering where do I meet girls in the beginning? I'm actually 17 and have almost 60 credits so most of the people in my classes are going to be 2-3 years older than me (except for in just one class I'm taking, my math class, but I figure there won't be many girls in it since it's geared towards the kind of people that do math competitions). I like going to parties and other ethanol-lubricated social events but I'm not sure if I actually like the girls that do that kind of stuff, if you know what I mean. I guess I'll look for girls with similar interests and network through people I meet, but that seems like a pretty basic plan, and I'm wondering if there is any more specific advice Don't raise your expectations too much. Be yourself, but be open for other people and experiences AKA just be relaxed and be cool. Talk about stuff that you enjoy, but dont talk about it because you're scared of silences or feel a need to impress people. Don't try to act to other peoples expectations, because you do stuff because you want to do stuff. I wouldn't take heed to Xiphos too much, just like the advise I'm giving right now, it's dead advise. Basically I can only say, learn to live life  It has ups and downs, and there simply exists no shortcut. Just go out and experience stuff, don't be afraid of failure, and don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. You don't want to have to think about how to act in social encounters, because if you're in your head too much you'll probably screw it up. The only way to get better at them is to just go out a lot and hang out with people. Don't expect mad pussy etc, just go and be chill and people won't mind you being there. And grow from there. | ||
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LeLfe
France3160 Posts
On August 03 2014 15:11 KwarK wrote: Good for you, domestic violence is never acceptable. I'm happy you got out of an abusive relationship, nobody deserves that. Don't go back, no matter what she says. People don't change and domestic violence typically only escalates. There are, or at least ought to be in your country, services that will help protect you should you continue to feel threatened. Best advice you can get imo, brave decision of yours not to be blinded by your feelings. | ||
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Grumbels
Netherlands7028 Posts
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Livelovedie
United States492 Posts
I have tried to bring up the lack of intimacy and love I am feeling but she shuts down when that happens and seems to be allergic to any sort of potential disagreement and conflict that can arise, even if it is necessary to work out a problem. When the fall semester resumes she will be going to London to study abroad and I will be going back to school where we usually see each other. I am graduating a semester early so there is only semester that we would see each other after that because I plan to go abroad next fall and then join the peace corps. She is working a lot now, admittedly, but she plans to go to law school and I honestly can't see her ever putting me in front of her work life. I don't blame her for that, because my plans after college put myself in front of her as well. I guess it sucks realizing we are selfish beings, but I realize that this is the time to be selfish if I don't want any regrets. If I felt like we had a solid basis to continue a long distance relationship I would try to make it work, but I feel like since we don't there are too many obstacles in the way. I am strongly considering ending it when we potentially meet up at the school in a couple weeks (she lives close to the school and I am arriving before she leaves for London) when I get there and I would prefer to not end it by text. It just sucks knowing that I might be ending something not because we hated each other, but because it just kind of lost that spark. | ||
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
On August 03 2014 15:00 Chocolate wrote: Well, I like movies, books, and am in the process of getting in to fitness. I'd like to get into music too, but I'm not there yet. I'd almost certainly like cooking if I had the capacity to partake, but I don't have the opportunity. I also like some video games, math, physical sciences, and coding but I don't think many women like that kind of stuff. I'm sure there's other stuff I'm missing Not really sure how pertinent that is though. I'm more just asking for advice in general I'm just kind of wondering where do I meet girls in the beginning? I'm actually 17 and have almost 60 credits so most of the people in my classes are going to be 2-3 years older than me (except for in just one class I'm taking, my math class, but I figure there won't be many girls in it since it's geared towards the kind of people that do math competitions). I like going to parties and other ethanol-lubricated social events but I'm not sure if I actually like the girls that do that kind of stuff, if you know what I mean. I guess I'll look for girls with similar interests and network through people I meet, but that seems like a pretty basic plan, and I'm wondering if there is any more specific advice Seems a bit hypocritical to say you like going to social events that involve drinking but that you aren't "sure if [you] actually like the girls that do that kind of stuff." | ||
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evilfatsh1t
Australia8606 Posts
for example in korea its pretty common to find guys who dont particularly like girls who drink, despite drinking being such a popular activity in korea @livelovedie good luck. let us know if you actually go through with the break up. im currently long distance with my gf as well and we are having pretty much exactly the same symptoms as you. on top of that weve been fighting a couple of times too cause im making it pretty clear that im unhappy with her effort (or lack of) in keeping contact with me. still cant muster up the courage to break up with her though, i dont see us being together until we get married or something, but i just cant seem to break up with her either | ||
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Livelovedie
United States492 Posts
On August 05 2014 14:24 evilfatsh1t wrote: not hypocritical at all. just conservative for example in korea its pretty common to find guys who dont particularly like girls who drink, despite drinking being such a popular activity in korea @livelovedie good luck. let us know if you actually go through with the break up. im currently long distance with my gf as well and we are having pretty much exactly the same symptoms as you. on top of that weve been fighting a couple of times too cause im making it pretty clear that im unhappy with her effort (or lack of) in keeping contact with me. still cant muster up the courage to break up with her though, i dont see us being together until we get married or something, but i just cant seem to break up with her either Will do. This will probably be the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I've started to tear up just typing this so I know how hard this is going to be. It would be so much easier if I could muster hate for her or if I wanted someone else, but I don't. I could end up regretting this every day for the rest of my life afterwards, but I don't want to be in denial, I'm not happy right now. Maybe she isn't right for me if I will have to go through the next 3.5 years without being satisfied, even if it would mean happily ever after later. | ||
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
On August 05 2014 14:24 evilfatsh1t wrote: not hypocritical at all. just conservative for example in korea its pretty common to find guys who dont particularly like girls who drink, despite drinking being such a popular activity in korea He said that he personally likes to go drink. He did not say that he avoids drinking and wants a girl that avoids drinking as well. | ||
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evilfatsh1t
Australia8606 Posts
On August 05 2014 14:41 IgnE wrote: He said that he personally likes to go drink. He did not say that he avoids drinking and wants a girl that avoids drinking as well. i know what he said. my point still stands. its not uncommon to find guys who dont like girls who drink despite being drinkers themselves. i sometimes like to have a drink as well, but i can personally testify that if a girl enjoys drinking my interest in her does take a drop. girls who enjoy drinking are considered easy/slutty/bad mannered and theyre not things i would want associated with my gf. obviously this doesnt apply to girls who have the occasional glass of beer or whatever, but girls who actively look for parties or social gatherings which involve alcohol has a very negative image, at least in korea. it would be hypocritical for me to say to my gf dont drink at all even if its just me and her, but i dont think its hypocritical to say dont drink a lot with others when there would be high chances of my gf being hit on or shittalked behind her back for being easy etc etc. | ||
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
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Yoz
Australia357 Posts
On August 05 2014 16:09 IgnE wrote: Yes it is hypocritical. What if she said she didn't want you drinking because you look like a drunken fool? Would you say, "Oh you don't want me to drink because you care about how I make you look to others? Then I won't drink either. One beer max." Sure, but you're assuming that everyone wants to date someone similar/identical to themselves. Agree that the original poster phrased it very weirdly saying that s/he wasn't sure if they actually like girls who do that stuff - but I feel that if we replaced drinking with another activity it wouldn't seem bizarre at all. e.g. I don't feel it would be strange for a musician to say that they don't want to date a musician. | ||
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Kleinmuuhg
Vanuatu4091 Posts
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DrCooper
Germany261 Posts
On August 05 2014 16:05 evilfatsh1t wrote: i know what he said. my point still stands. its not uncommon to find guys who dont like girls who drink despite being drinkers themselves. i sometimes like to have a drink as well, but i can personally testify that if a girl enjoys drinking my interest in her does take a drop. girls who enjoy drinking are considered easy/slutty/bad mannered and theyre not things i would want associated with my gf. obviously this doesnt apply to girls who have the occasional glass of beer or whatever, but girls who actively look for parties or social gatherings which involve alcohol has a very negative image, at least in korea. it would be hypocritical for me to say to my gf dont drink at all even if its just me and her, but i dont think its hypocritical to say dont drink a lot with others when there would be high chances of my gf being hit on or shittalked behind her back for being easy etc etc. Okay, so you want a well mannered, nice, not slutty, not partying and not drinking type of girl, that is also really good in bed, is really cool and social and that has some common interests?  | ||
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