EPTOn July 26 2014 01:00 lantz wrote:
I'm not pregnant. Woot!
I'm not pregnant. Woot!
Yay!!!
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 525
| Forum Index > General Forum |
We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
|
c0ldfusion
United States8293 Posts
Yay!!! | ||
|
Doodsmack
United States7224 Posts
I guess some people are retarded. | ||
|
iamahydralisk
United States813 Posts
On July 26 2014 00:56 chadissilent wrote: @iamhydralisk you're making it sound like you're such a victim and were so polite and everything throughout and she just stomped all over you. I don't buy that for a second. Your story has holes and people are making judgements off incomplete information. That's unfortunately pretty much exactly what happened though. No holes. I was victimized to a point because I handled it very well (going by the way she's asked me to change my conflict response in the past), but her response didn't change one bit. It's immensely frustrating to finally get it right and still be met with the exact same brick wall response. And before you tell me I should do it my way and disregard how she tells me I should respond, I did that for two years and it never worked. One more piece of info I should add because I feel like it's relevant: Part of the reason K has such a hard time dealing with conflict (and a lot of other things) is because she was raised in a VERY strict Mormon household. She's not practicing herself (thank god lol), but still, because of her upbringing, she's ridiculously sensitive and she can't handle even friendly sarcasm or anything like that. And when it comes to arguments, any attempts to be firm or "harsh" such as name calling (which a previous poster suggested) absolutely do not work because she takes it personally and it turns into a crying fest. Every time. And none of my other friends/exes have ever had this problem with me, so I don't see it as an issue stemming from something I'm doing wrong. Like I believe I said before, the problem for me is her utter inability to handle even small conflicts in a positive or mature way. No matter how I respond to her being angry or upset (and her reasons for being upset are and most always the tiniest little things, like a load of laundry not getting done or something like that), it turns into a 3 hour long screaming match consistently because no matter how I attempt to pacify the situation, it doesn't work. And that, my friends, is why I'm so exhausted. 2 years of stupid fighting tends to do that to a person, I think. I'm just tired of always feeling like I'm doing or saying the wrong thing when I've tried absolutely everything under the sun and none of it has worked. Finally, to update on the fight yesterday: I sat her down and asked her why she was upset despite the fact that I had in fact handled the argument very well according to how she usually tells me she wants me to. Her answer? "You didn't do things in the right order." She said I should have apologized first (despite the fact that I did nothing wrong) and then explained that it was a miscommunication. Apparently the five minutes between me explaining it was a miscommunication and apologizing was grounds for not accepting my apology. Maybe I'm the crazy one, but that seems so unreasonable to me. Why the fuck does it matter? Unfortunately, I find myself thinking that after a lot of our fights because they always boil down to such inane things as "wrong order lol." Ugh.... | ||
|
LeLfe
France3160 Posts
On July 26 2014 01:00 lantz wrote: I'm not pregnant. Woot! we're very proud of you! | ||
|
solidbebe
Netherlands4921 Posts
On July 26 2014 01:58 iamahydralisk wrote: That's unfortunately pretty much exactly what happened though. No holes. I was victimized to a point because I handled it very well (going by the way she's asked me to change my conflict response in the past), but her response didn't change one bit. It's immensely frustrating to finally get it right and still be met with the exact same brick wall response. And before you tell me I should do it my way and disregard how she tells me I should respond, I did that for two years and it never worked. One more piece of info I should add because I feel like it's relevant: Part of the reason K has such a hard time dealing with conflict (and a lot of other things) is because she was raised in a VERY strict Mormon household. She's not practicing herself (thank god lol), but still, because of her upbringing, she's ridiculously sensitive and she can't handle even friendly sarcasm or anything like that. And when it comes to arguments, any attempts to be firm or "harsh" such as name calling (which a previous poster suggested) absolutely do not work because she takes it personally and it turns into a crying fest. Every time. And none of my other friends/exes have ever had this problem with me, so I don't see it as an issue stemming from something I'm doing wrong. Like I believe I said before, the problem for me is her utter inability to handle even small conflicts in a positive or mature way. No matter how I respond to her being angry or upset (and her reasons for being upset are and most always the tiniest little things, like a load of laundry not getting done or something like that), it turns into a 3 hour long screaming match consistently because no matter how I attempt to pacify the situation, it doesn't work. And that, my friends, is why I'm so exhausted. 2 years of stupid fighting tends to do that to a person, I think. I'm just tired of always feeling like I'm doing or saying the wrong thing when I've tried absolutely everything under the sun and none of it has worked. Finally, to update on the fight yesterday: I sat her down and asked her why she was upset despite the fact that I had in fact handled the argument very well according to how she usually tells me she wants me to. Her answer? "You didn't do things in the right order." She said I should have apologized first (despite the fact that I did nothing wrong) and then explained that it was a miscommunication. Apparently the five minutes between me explaining it was a miscommunication and apologizing was grounds for not accepting my apology. Maybe I'm the crazy one, but that seems so unreasonable to me. Why the fuck does it matter? Unfortunately, I find myself thinking that after a lot of our fights because they always boil down to such inane things as "wrong order lol." Ugh.... If this is truly the situation then there is just one thing you can do: break up with this girl. Seriously, she sounds incredibly immature and severely annoying. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with her, arguing over every little thing? If the answer is no then leave her. Its the best thing to do. | ||
|
chadissilent
Canada1187 Posts
| ||
|
Xiphos
Canada7507 Posts
On July 26 2014 01:58 iamahydralisk wrote: That's unfortunately pretty much exactly what happened though. No holes. I was victimized to a point because I handled it very well (going by the way she's asked me to change my conflict response in the past), but her response didn't change one bit. It's immensely frustrating to finally get it right and still be met with the exact same brick wall response. And before you tell me I should do it my way and disregard how she tells me I should respond, I did that for two years and it never worked. One more piece of info I should add because I feel like it's relevant: Part of the reason K has such a hard time dealing with conflict (and a lot of other things) is because she was raised in a VERY strict Mormon household. She's not practicing herself (thank god lol), but still, because of her upbringing, she's ridiculously sensitive and she can't handle even friendly sarcasm or anything like that. And when it comes to arguments, any attempts to be firm or "harsh" such as name calling (which a previous poster suggested) absolutely do not work because she takes it personally and it turns into a crying fest. Every time. And none of my other friends/exes have ever had this problem with me, so I don't see it as an issue stemming from something I'm doing wrong. Like I believe I said before, the problem for me is her utter inability to handle even small conflicts in a positive or mature way. No matter how I respond to her being angry or upset (and her reasons for being upset are and most always the tiniest little things, like a load of laundry not getting done or something like that), it turns into a 3 hour long screaming match consistently because no matter how I attempt to pacify the situation, it doesn't work. And that, my friends, is why I'm so exhausted. 2 years of stupid fighting tends to do that to a person, I think. I'm just tired of always feeling like I'm doing or saying the wrong thing when I've tried absolutely everything under the sun and none of it has worked. Finally, to update on the fight yesterday: I sat her down and asked her why she was upset despite the fact that I had in fact handled the argument very well according to how she usually tells me she wants me to. Her answer? "You didn't do things in the right order." She said I should have apologized first (despite the fact that I did nothing wrong) and then explained that it was a miscommunication. Apparently the five minutes between me explaining it was a miscommunication and apologizing was grounds for not accepting my apology. Maybe I'm the crazy one, but that seems so unreasonable to me. Why the fuck does it matter? Unfortunately, I find myself thinking that after a lot of our fights because they always boil down to such inane things as "wrong order lol." Ugh.... How physically attractive is she on the scale of 1 to 10? And I mean use this criteria: Good body maintenance (in good health and have good hygiene) + 5 points Facial + 1 point Gluteus maximus + 1 point Milk carrying organs + 1 point Strong Legs + 1 point Toned arm + 1 point. Because I think you are only staying with this girl because you are totally whipped for her (staying with her because she is "hot") which again isn't totally bad. We get boners and do unspeakable things in the encounters of fit ladies. But then again, you really need to put things into perspective. Have this relationship been purely physical attraction? Is there anything more than that? Have you been paying for her stuff (dinner, items, housing)? If so, are you getting regular sex from her? And if you do, isn't that just prostitution? If all she is offering to you are her looks in exchange for you being her emotional tampons, then you sir are totally getting the worst trade in this "relationship". A girl's good looks are usually something that she is born with and isn't "earned". But what you are giving to her are your time, effort, emotions, and hopefully not monetary belongings. These things are SOOO much more valuable than having great genetics. So please for the sake of your own dignity and pride, break up with her and find an emotional stable girl to date. You are the loser in this one. | ||
|
WarSame
Canada1950 Posts
Milk carrying organs ? | ||
|
arb
Noobville17922 Posts
On July 26 2014 01:00 lantz wrote: I'm not pregnant. Woot! for a second i thought i was on facebook or twitter instead of teamliquid after i read this | ||
|
Xiphos
Canada7507 Posts
On July 26 2014 14:26 WarSame wrote: Xiphos you're kinda fucked. ? Hey, at least I can get fucked am I right?  Those milk carrying organs are exactly what you expect them to be. But no but seriously, all those criteria listed above are the essential ingredient of a healthy childbearing women. Some women never fully recover to their health upon giving birth due to their weak physical traits. So those are very important aspect to look for while dating. | ||
|
Najda
United States3765 Posts
On July 27 2014 01:49 Xiphos wrote: Hey, at least I can get fucked am I right? Those milk carrying organs are exactly what you expect them to be. But no but seriously, all those criteria listed above are the essential ingredient of a healthy childbearing women. Some women never fully recover to their health upon giving birth due to their weak physical traits. So those are very important aspect to look for while dating. It's weird to me how you rate them in binary though: either yes or no. 0-2 for each makes more sense to me, 0 unnatractive, 1 average, 2 attractive. | ||
|
Xiphos
Canada7507 Posts
On July 27 2014 02:12 Najda wrote: It's weird to me how you rate them in binary though: either yes or no. 0-2 for each makes more sense to me, 0 unnatractive, 1 average, 2 attractive. I completely agree with you on this. I didn't want to write a whole post about the degree of the point system. But yeah it should be based on: 5*(x/2)+1(x/2)+1(x/2)+1(x/2)+1(x/2)+1(x/2). I quite like your suggestion. | ||
|
WarSame
Canada1950 Posts
On to my own shit. This week, finally asked the girl at work I was talking about earlier for her number. I was pretty damn nervous because it was my first time asking a girl for her number and it was in front of 4 coworkers, but I did it. She gave me her number, but I'm not sure if she wanted to or if she just felt pressure into it by the situation. It seems best to assume the first, and try to roll with that. | ||
|
Slayers_Red.Cracker
36 Posts
On July 26 2014 01:46 Doodsmack wrote: I have in my online profile that I'm quiet. In fact it's the first word in my profile. Went on a date last night she said she didn't think it's a good fit, I asked why just curious, she says because I seem kind of quiet and less outgoing than her. I guess some people are retarded. To be honest, you just sound like you got your manhood stepped on when she said you werent a fit. You could also see it like this: Even though you said you were quiet beforehand, she still went out on a date with you because of other factors. It didnt work out, so just move on. Asking for a reason or feedback is generally a bad thing as it reinforces her belief that it really wasnt a match. People tend to be very defensive, so when you ask her for a reason its like you doubting her decision. At that point she probably has to make up a reason why you guys dont fit, and she then makes a decision she will 100% stick with as to why it didnt work out. Basically youre the one who is giving her the reason why you guys arent a good fit. So what you might as well just say is "that's cool, I had a nice time but I agree that we aren't a good fit, I wish you luck in the future!" Leave her as the coolest guy in the world, you might just get a second chance as she suddenly is doubting to why she wouldnt be a good fit for you. It gives you a better feeling for the next date, as you apparently are confident enough to say no to girls. And being confident is quite attractive! | ||
|
mindjames
Israel433 Posts
| ||
|
Merany
France890 Posts
Met a girl though online dating. First date was your standard "have a drink" date, nothing special. Second date was cool! We went for tango dancing. They have something like that in my city, free lesson for beginners during summer  Went really well! We agreed at the end to take more lessons together because it was a lot of fun. So far, so good...Third date, we decided to watch an old classic from 1963 at my place. Lots of cuddling on the couch, we had sex and then a good hour of more cuddles / cool talks in my bed. Pretty great, right? And then... Nothing. I noticed she had unsubscribed from the dating site and I'm like "cool, means that's definitely not a one night stand". Sent her a couple messages during the week along the lines of "hey, wanna do something this weekend?". A week later, she is back on the dating website and still hasn't answered yet... Seriously, I don't understand. | ||
|
Acrofales
Spain18345 Posts
There's a very obvious, but indelicate, question her: was the sex good? And more importantly: does she think so too? I have actually broken off a situation very similar because the sex wasn't good. I made some excuse about how everything was moving too fast and I didn't want to get attached, but the actual reason was that the sex was just really bad. I really hope that it's not that. Having sex does have the actual emotional attachment part and it really could be that she is realizing she isn't actually ready for a serious relationship. Also: is she outright not speaking to you? Or just being really distant? If the former, she might be in some kind of trouble, have lost her phone, etc. If you know where she lives, you can go by in person. If the latter, then I am sorry, but she probably got cold feet. | ||
|
Najda
United States3765 Posts
On July 29 2014 05:12 Merany wrote: Sometimes, I just don't get it. Met a girl though online dating. First date was your standard "have a drink" date, nothing special. Second date was cool! We went for tango dancing. They have something like that in my city, free lesson for beginners during summer Went really well! We agreed at the end to take more lessons together because it was a lot of fun. So far, so good...Third date, we decided to watch an old classic from 1963 at my place. Lots of cuddling on the couch, we had sex and then a good hour of more cuddles / cool talks in my bed. Pretty great, right? And then... Nothing. I noticed she had unsubscribed from the dating site and I'm like "cool, means that's definitely not a one night stand". Sent her a couple messages during the week along the lines of "hey, wanna do something this weekend?". A week later, she is back on the dating website and still hasn't answered yet... Seriously, I don't understand. She could have been seeing other people at the same time from the site and maybe wanted to try being exclusive with one and it quickly went wrong. | ||
|
Ghostcom
Denmark4783 Posts
 | ||
|
SoSexy
Italy3725 Posts
On July 29 2014 06:16 Ghostcom wrote: Girlfriend is right now on her way to Shanghai for a 6 month internship. I'm starting a new job friday. Don't know when I'll be able to visit. Whelp Find a 'temporary' girlfriend whom boyfriend is away for a 6 month internship. | ||
| ||
