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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On July 21 2014 11:05 arb wrote:Show nested quote +On July 21 2014 10:54 Doodsmack wrote:On July 21 2014 09:59 arb wrote:On July 21 2014 08:04 Doodsmack wrote:
I figured all the advice here would be to move on from her lol. And I probably sound like I'm latching onto a girl after just one date. But, I can honestly say I'm not attached to her in a big way. I'm okay with her not responding after I text again. There was just something about our date and her that for some sick reason, I wanna play her game and send one more text. you probably arent playing a game like youre thinking shes just ignoring you and not going to give you time of day again if you fuck up something like that on the first date you will like i said earlier barring intervention from god/being luckiest man alive never get a second chance to do it. When you say fucked up are you saying the way I finished the date? I textd her again and she replied saying she doesn't know if she sees it going anywhere. I am glad a got a final word. I do understand all this stuff about coming off as needy and normally I assure you I never text again after a date if she doesn't respond. I did with her because of the way she was responding and then not responding. In general I doubt she saw it as out of the ordinary that I was texting considering that I was saying conversational stuff until the end, and before the date, we had been texting a good amount every day. Idk I kind of wanted to try this and see what happened. As for whether me texting caused her to reject me, well, it seemed like a last ditch effort considering she was not responding anyway. Either I could just not hear from her again or I could say something and see what happens. But I do appreciate everyone's advice. This date was an interesting experience I have to say. I asked her whether she would give me some thoughts on why she didn't want to pursue, and that she wouldn't offend me. I would be really curious to hear a girl's answer to this after a failed date. Okay she motioned for you to come over to her car, yeah? Asking to take you home blah blah blah(aka she wants to fuck) You didnt kiss her, you didnt even make a move like that and from personal experience(it actually took me a few times to figure it out) if you do not make some kind of move with a girl who is clearly into you on the first date then she will drop you for someone with a set of balls who will actually make a move on her and not be a vagina about it. Next time when its clear she wants something like that just do it, or as my father told me "A piece you never get is a piece you'll always regret". tl;dr dont be a girl and just go for it, especially if youve already been talking about one night stands and shit and you met her ON A SITE USED FOR THAT PURPOSE. also don't believe 99% of girls who say they dont put out on the first date/aren't looking for it but still are talking about it etc.
Yea this is why I was confused because she definitely didn't say she wanted me to take her home. One of the first things she asked on tinder was what I was looking for out of it and she said she didn't want a random hookup. As for a make out, yeah I definitely should have gone for that.
Sucks to regret these kinds of things  .
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On July 21 2014 11:05 arb wrote:
also don't believe 99% of girls who say they dont put out on the first date/aren't looking for it but still are talking about it etc.
Particularly if you meet them on Tinder...
I feel that's the essential piece of data in this whole thing.
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I don't believe I have the skill to make any girl I meet want to bang me on the first date. A lot of these girls say from the outset they don't want a hookup. This girl I hung out with on Friday and Saturday (after the date I've been talking about), I tried to get her to stay over both nights but she wasn't having it. Even though we still made out a lot and she def wants to hang more. Idk seems like some girls have walls up but then there are guys who claim they can fuck anyone on a first date lol. I can't tell how much of it is talk and how much of it is real. But damn if it's real, I wish I had that skill. I think my weakness is in having entertaining conversation...which is a big weakness to have in this game. I'm like a really quiet guy and the amount of times I've actually carried on a sustained conversation since my teens would shock you. I don't even know what the fuck to say or talk about lol. So sometimes on a date I fall into this trap of 20 questions/surface level topics. That shit has no chance with a girl.
Feels very difficult to improve at conversation with a girl.
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On July 21 2014 11:55 Doodsmack wrote:
I don't believe I have the skill to make any girl I meet want to bang me on the first date. A lot of these girls say from the outset they don't want a hookup. This girl I hung out with on Friday and Saturday (after the date I've been talking about), I tried to get her to stay over both nights but she wasn't having it. Even though we still made out a lot and she def wants to hang more. Idk seems like some girls have walls up but then there are guys who claim they can fuck anyone on a first date lol. I can't tell how much of it is talk and how much of it is real. But damn if it's real, I wish I had that skill. I think my weakness is in having entertaining conversation...which is a big weakness to have in this game. I'm like a really quiet guy and the amount of times I've actually carried on a sustained conversation since my teens would shock you. I don't even know what the fuck to say or talk about lol. So sometimes on a date I fall into this trap of 20 questions/surface level topics. That shit has no chance with a girl.
Feels very difficult to improve at conversation with a girl.
You just gotta talk make them laugh is one good way to do it. If that girl wants to hang out more even after 2 dates then just take it slow and she'll give it up eventually you just gotta take your time with some.
I actually have some friends who will straight drop a girl if she wont give it up on the first date tbh
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On July 21 2014 11:55 Doodsmack wrote:
I don't believe I have the skill to make any girl I meet want to bang me on the first date. A lot of these girls say from the outset they don't want a hookup. This girl I hung out with on Friday and Saturday (after the date I've been talking about), I tried to get her to stay over both nights but she wasn't having it. Even though we still made out a lot and she def wants to hang more. Idk seems like some girls have walls up but then there are guys who claim they can fuck anyone on a first date lol. I can't tell how much of it is talk and how much of it is real. But damn if it's real, I wish I had that skill. I think my weakness is in having entertaining conversation...which is a big weakness to have in this game. I'm like a really quiet guy and the amount of times I've actually carried on a sustained conversation since my teens would shock you. I don't even know what the fuck to say or talk about lol. So sometimes on a date I fall into this trap of 20 questions/surface level topics. That shit has no chance with a girl.
Feels very difficult to improve at conversation with a girl.
Well a girl really can see if you are interesting in the first couple of minutes.
Once again: girls prefers guys that can handle himself financially while guys prefers girls that can handle herself physically. Not that girls DON'T like guys that can handles himself (or that guys don't go for girls for financial purposes). But that's the "Ying and Yang" of dating.
For us, we can see the physique of the girl in exactly 10 seconds or less so to decide whether or not to engage. But for the girl, she is ACTUALLY giving us a chance to talk our way to boost our attractiveness. So in a sense, you can argue that we sort of have this advantageous.
So if you show her that you are man that can hold great conversations. Being a great conversationalist usually mean that you are:
1. Well-read.
2. Can use your charm in sticky situation (we are still living in a jungle. Instead of being surrounded by plants of wood, we are surrounded by steel and concrete).
3. Great negotiator for job interviews or business deals.
4. Able to charm other ladies with it, furthering your value.
Going back to number 3: Well dating is much like an interview. Except instead of getting the "job", both parties get to choose whom they want to spent the rest of your life together.
By the fact that both of you guys are willing to go out with each other means that you both passed the initial test of each other. This just mean that both of you guys have to further explore each other. This means explore each other's childhoods, past relationships, and/or future prospect. All great topics to go into GREAT depth with.With the topic of childhood, you can spend literally an entire day with it.
Again this is sort of like marketing yourself to her for your great conversational skills. Have you ever met a sale agent? See how they seduce your way into their mindset of how great their product(s) are? Well this time, this product that you are selling is how interesting you are. You can't push too hard on her (the customer) on it or you will appear a try-hard. You need to ease your way into a topic of your liking by wrapping your mind around her's and ask yourself "How would a girl of X, Y, and Z be rendered interested in this topic that I want to bring out?"
A very good exercise is to start from something that she is familiar with and then steadily drag her mindset toward the topic that you want to talk about. But don't do it too slow or she will think that you lack courage. And girls absolutely despise weak, and gutless men.
But words along is only a factor to make yourself interesting, there is also how you say those things. For example, a person that speaks at a slower pace will get his/her message straighter than a person that just fire bullets with his/her mouth. So you must practice on how to speak at steadily pace so that your words truly resonate with her.
So in conclusion, just constantly think of yourself as a salesmen that want to market yourself as a sophisticated men with words and vocal tones. And y'know what? She is doing the exact same thing to uplift her beauty with makeup, high heels, sparkling jewelries, silky stockings, and colorful dresses. And that's the beauty of the dating market exchange.
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Can someone explain to me why I am apparently more attractive to brown(and sometimes Asian) girls? They are all born/raised in Canada.
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What does brown girls mean? Do you mean black girls, or something like Indian or Arabic?
In any case, no one is going to be able to give you a good answer without actually knowing you personally.
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Middle Eastern or Indian.
I figured someone here would have experienced the same thing and could speak from that experience.
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Its a phase, you'll get over it.
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I'll get over attracting brown and asian girls?
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do you have blond hair blue eyes?
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No, light brown hair and green/brown eyes.
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Yea this is why I was confused because she definitely didn't say she wanted me to take her home. One of the first things she asked on tinder was what I was looking for out of it and she said she didn't want a random hookup. As for a make out, yeah I definitely should have gone for that. Sucks to regret these kinds of things .
I've never used Tinder but after skimming the last couple of pages I find it interesting that making our and/or sleeping with a girl on a first date seemingly directly equates to a random hookup.
I'm definitely not a dating expert but after some thought I feel that when a girl says she doesn't want a random hook-up or isn't just looking for sex - the natural tendency might be to take things slow in order to ensure she doesn't view you as being someone interested in her solely for sex. However, I suspect she's not saying she doesn't want to make out or have sex - I think she's probably more suggesting that she wants these things provided you're not just looking to get laid and ditch shortly thereafter.
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On July 23 2014 11:55 WarSame wrote:
I'll get over attracting brown and asian girls?
Why not take full advantage of this? I mean holy shit.....I wish I was attracting indian / asian chicks... YOUR A LUCKY MAN.... GO WITH IT!!
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I am a sad drunk with plenty of things, or rather one big thing, to be sad about.
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On July 23 2014 13:49 ticklishmusic wrote:
I am a sad drunk with plenty of things, or rather one big thing, to be sad about.
sorry mate, it will get better, it always does! feel free to share with us if you need it
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On July 23 2014 11:12 WarSame wrote:
Middle Eastern or Indian.
I figured someone here would have experienced the same thing and could speak from that experience.
Same with me. We even have the same color hair and eyes.
I think it's due to:
1. a lot of white guys don't pay them much attention and generally white males are considered more attractive than other males
2. culturally their families are probably more likely to support social-climbing and white men present an opportunity for that
3. they tend to come from families where being smart/making money is highly prized, so you might have that going for you
I think generally it's the first one though, for whatever reason a lot of guys I know just tend to ignore non-white girls.
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Chocolate, that makes a ton of sense. I find women of all races equally attractive, and each race has some special characteristics that I love.
I would put my intelligence as my most important trait to myself.
So thank you for apparently clearing that up for me.
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I guess I just want to vent my story out.
There is one girl I met during my physical therapy session. She wasn't super cute or pretty, but she had a very intriguing look to me. When I have decided to talk to her, it was pretty easy to get into a conversation with her. After several visits, I have decided to ask for her number, so we can go to the movies together.
I had a good time, and she seemed at least pretty interested in me because she was texting me a bunch. She also enjoyed when I went to her favorite bakery to get her favorite breakfast because she can have long days.
However, there were several reasons why this good feeling didn't last too long. I realized how fundamentally different we are. Despite that factor, I was still interested in her for a bit. After much thinking, I realized that I liked her because I enjoyed the thrills of flirting and dating. I haven't done in a long time, because I have been focusing on my career development lately. Although there is the option to pursue a casual relationship, the problem is that this is not the right girl for a casual relationship because she is a sincere, genuinely nice, down-to-earth girl. I feel that that approach would be extremely inappropriate for her.
Furthermore, her texting became less frequent, signifying that the interest might be dying out. As for my part, I have realized that it would be better if I choose the friendship approach because she is still a good person to have around. If anything, she has motivated me to find new physical hobbies. Right now, I have chosen to sign up for a MMA Academy (Krav Maga), because I realized that I need more exhilaration in my life (going to the gym to workout just doesn't give me that same feeling).
TLDR:
If you have a girl in your heart, sometimes, take a step back and ask yourself why you like her. If you like her for who she is, then my story is irrelevant to you. However, if you like her for being able to play the game once more, then you should really consider another non-relationship related option to fulfill that emptiness within you. I hope my story provided some solace for you guys! :D
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I guess we're sharing story now, so I'm just gonna shamelessly plug in my semi-girl blog 
Current luck in dating: not much.
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EPT
