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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On June 02 2014 18:42 Maluk wrote:
I like how every "dating expert" here thinks that confessing is a bad plan. It's actually the best one in the only case that matters - the case where you are in love with each other.
Or... maybe it's just the fact that he was going to confess in the middle of the night when he was a nervous wreck and not thinking clearly.
Could be that.
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I don't know if this belongs here or whatever but I'm pretty proud about it and it's somewhat related to dating so:
I finally made it. After a lot disappointments I finally made it. I finally taught myself that I don't need a girlfriend and because of that I quit searching for one. I don't even want a girlfriend right now. I broke off contact with almost everyone except for a few special people. I don't text with any girls and the only girls I see are my best friends girlfriends, who happen to be my best friends too. Also I noticed that, whenever I meet a girl, and we start seeing each other regularly, I seem to quickly find a reason why I can't be romanticly involved with her. Like, we text and everythings fine, but then we meet and she's so quiet and shy and doesn't say a word, or she's too stubborn or whatever. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not, but it works out for me.
I don't feel lonely anymore, instead I'm really happy, that now I can spend my time doing the stuff I like, like (sounds about nerdish but, hey, that's what I enjoy) playing video games, partying, meeting my friends or a combination of all of these three activities. Also, I can now focus on getting my driver license, with a girl by my side, I couldn't concentrate on that.
But my best friend thinks that's weird. He occasionally asks me "what about a girl for you?" and I always tell him, that I don't want one, but he seems to just not accept that. That's because he used to be that "player" who gets every girl and all and he really wants me to lose my virginity, and he's really confused when I tell him that I'm fine with not having sex. I get off the point...
Anyway, I'm happy with how it is right now. It took me a bit to get here but it's really great how it is. I just felt like telling anyone, since none of my friends seem to care about it and everyone of them tries to tell me something different. 
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Northern Ireland26076 Posts
I am in a similar place myself of late actually, feels good man. Plus future relationships will likely be better with skills such as driving etc under your belt.
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On June 05 2014 03:42 Wombat_NI wrote:
I am in a similar place myself of late actually, feels good man. Plus future relationships will likely be better with skills such as driving etc under your belt.
Yeah driving. Or hacking everything, like I learned it in Watch Dogs.
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On June 05 2014 03:44 phipsL wrote:Show nested quote +On June 05 2014 03:42 Wombat_NI wrote:
I am in a similar place myself of late actually, feels good man. Plus future relationships will likely be better with skills such as driving etc under your belt. Yeah driving. Or hacking everything, like I learned it in Watch Dogs.
I had that happen to me for about a week. I felt like a completely asexual being and had 0 interest in women. I will admit I was happier than usual, and I don't know what caused it but it's gone now.
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Netherlands6190 Posts
I don't think I will be dating for quite a while again. After a two year relationship, I took a two year break from dating. It took me that long to trust someone again with my emotions. And despite my most recent relationship ending early on, I am surprisingly okay with it, even if I was a little sad for a while, I knew it was an inevitable end. Anyway, who knows what the future holds, time for positivity!
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On June 05 2014 03:52 biology]major wrote:Show nested quote +On June 05 2014 03:44 phipsL wrote:On June 05 2014 03:42 Wombat_NI wrote:
I am in a similar place myself of late actually, feels good man. Plus future relationships will likely be better with skills such as driving etc under your belt. Yeah driving. Or hacking everything, like I learned it in Watch Dogs. I had that happen to me for about a week. I felt like a completely asexual being and had 0 interest in women. I will admit I was happier than usual, and I don't know what caused it but it's gone now.
I'm actually interested in women. Whenever I see a cute girl in the train or so I'm like "Daaaaayum, what could I say to her" but then I reconsider it saying to myself "Well, she's probably not interested anyway" and I just move on. Because right now I wouldn't say "no" to a one-night-stand (if I actually got the chance ;_;) but I just don't want a commited relationship.
But I can understand that you were happy with that. It's actually the best emotional phase I've ever had. Not even the few very short relationship-esque things I had were better.
I wish I had an idea about how I get to this phase, but I don't know. After last time I got romantically involved with a woman (which didn't work out) I just said "well, 2014 is gonna be no women year for me" and so I deleted whatsapp, only text with my best friends and also deactived my facebook. And it really worked for me.
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On June 05 2014 07:12 phipsL wrote:Show nested quote +On June 05 2014 03:52 biology]major wrote:On June 05 2014 03:44 phipsL wrote:On June 05 2014 03:42 Wombat_NI wrote:
I am in a similar place myself of late actually, feels good man. Plus future relationships will likely be better with skills such as driving etc under your belt. Yeah driving. Or hacking everything, like I learned it in Watch Dogs. I had that happen to me for about a week. I felt like a completely asexual being and had 0 interest in women. I will admit I was happier than usual, and I don't know what caused it but it's gone now. I'm actually interested in women. Whenever I see a cute girl in the train or so I'm like "Daaaaayum, what could I say to her" but then I reconsider it saying to myself "Well, she's probably not interested anyway" and I just move on. Because right now I wouldn't say "no" to a one-night-stand (if I actually got the chance ;_;) but I just don't want a commited relationship. But I can understand that you were happy with that. It's actually the best emotional phase I've ever had. Not even the few very short relationship-esque things I had were better. I wish I had an idea about how I get to this phase, but I don't know. After last time I got romantically involved with a woman (which didn't work out) I just said "well, 2014 is gonna be no women year for me" and so I deleted whatsapp, only text with my best friends and also deactived my facebook. And it really worked for me.
Hey Phipsl. I actually really know how you feel because I'm in the same mindset too. I think it's fine, and is just part of growing older. Love sex and relationships are just a small part of life and it's foolish to focus so much energy on these things such that you forget to be happy with yourself when you're alone.
Just one word of caution though, don't dig in too much in being happy alone. Stay open to meeting new people! Otherwise it's easy to become too much of a loner (especially when you start working since you meet much less people as compared to school)
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On June 05 2014 08:04 levelping wrote:Show nested quote +On June 05 2014 07:12 phipsL wrote:On June 05 2014 03:52 biology]major wrote:On June 05 2014 03:44 phipsL wrote:On June 05 2014 03:42 Wombat_NI wrote:
I am in a similar place myself of late actually, feels good man. Plus future relationships will likely be better with skills such as driving etc under your belt. Yeah driving. Or hacking everything, like I learned it in Watch Dogs. I had that happen to me for about a week. I felt like a completely asexual being and had 0 interest in women. I will admit I was happier than usual, and I don't know what caused it but it's gone now. I'm actually interested in women. Whenever I see a cute girl in the train or so I'm like "Daaaaayum, what could I say to her" but then I reconsider it saying to myself "Well, she's probably not interested anyway" and I just move on. Because right now I wouldn't say "no" to a one-night-stand (if I actually got the chance ;_;) but I just don't want a commited relationship. But I can understand that you were happy with that. It's actually the best emotional phase I've ever had. Not even the few very short relationship-esque things I had were better. I wish I had an idea about how I get to this phase, but I don't know. After last time I got romantically involved with a woman (which didn't work out) I just said "well, 2014 is gonna be no women year for me" and so I deleted whatsapp, only text with my best friends and also deactived my facebook. And it really worked for me. Hey Phipsl. I actually really know how you feel because I'm in the same mindset too. I think it's fine, and is just part of growing older. Love sex and relationships are just a small part of life and it's foolish to focus so much energy on these things such that you forget to be happy with yourself when you're alone. Just one word of caution though, don't dig in too much in being happy alone. Stay open to meeting new people! Otherwise it's easy to become too much of a loner (especially when you start working since you meet much less people as compared to school)
May I ask you how old you are? I'm 19, turn 20 this year, and I really want to have a girlfriend at some point in life. Getting a family, kids and all that. If I die in (hopefully 80 years  ) and never had kids I'll probably be very sad^^ But right now I'm also way too young for kids and I just don't want a girlfriend.
Also I'm already working for 2 years. End of the year I will attend nursery school so I'll meet a few new people (who I probably won't care about^^)
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On June 05 2014 08:18 phipsL wrote:Show nested quote +On June 05 2014 08:04 levelping wrote:On June 05 2014 07:12 phipsL wrote:On June 05 2014 03:52 biology]major wrote:On June 05 2014 03:44 phipsL wrote:On June 05 2014 03:42 Wombat_NI wrote:
I am in a similar place myself of late actually, feels good man. Plus future relationships will likely be better with skills such as driving etc under your belt. Yeah driving. Or hacking everything, like I learned it in Watch Dogs. I had that happen to me for about a week. I felt like a completely asexual being and had 0 interest in women. I will admit I was happier than usual, and I don't know what caused it but it's gone now. I'm actually interested in women. Whenever I see a cute girl in the train or so I'm like "Daaaaayum, what could I say to her" but then I reconsider it saying to myself "Well, she's probably not interested anyway" and I just move on. Because right now I wouldn't say "no" to a one-night-stand (if I actually got the chance ;_;) but I just don't want a commited relationship. But I can understand that you were happy with that. It's actually the best emotional phase I've ever had. Not even the few very short relationship-esque things I had were better. I wish I had an idea about how I get to this phase, but I don't know. After last time I got romantically involved with a woman (which didn't work out) I just said "well, 2014 is gonna be no women year for me" and so I deleted whatsapp, only text with my best friends and also deactived my facebook. And it really worked for me. Hey Phipsl. I actually really know how you feel because I'm in the same mindset too. I think it's fine, and is just part of growing older. Love sex and relationships are just a small part of life and it's foolish to focus so much energy on these things such that you forget to be happy with yourself when you're alone. Just one word of caution though, don't dig in too much in being happy alone. Stay open to meeting new people! Otherwise it's easy to become too much of a loner (especially when you start working since you meet much less people as compared to school) May I ask you how old you are? I'm 19, turn 20 this year, and I really want to have a girlfriend at some point in life. Getting a family, kids and all that. If I die in (hopefully 80 years ) and never had kids I'll probably be very sad^^ But right now I'm also way too young for kids and I just don't want a girlfriend. Also I'm already working for 2 years. End of the year I will attend nursery school so I'll meet a few new people (who I probably won't care about^^)
If I'm totally honest with you, like no one where I'm from has "girlfriends" at that age, we have, what they call in Latin America amigovios/as - which is basically a nice way of saying fuck buddy or friends with benefits without it being as overly ambiguous as friends with benefits. Its pretty rare to actually be in a relationship that's stable for a while.
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There is a lot of pressure on people from society to enter the dating game. Like parents wanting grandchildren or friends who like fucking so much its one of the highest priorities in their lives. Thats why I think that a lot of people go dating and hunting for one night stands for the wrong reason. When growing up and experiencing these kinds of things you get to know yourself better and what needs YOU have as an individual rather than the ones that might be put upon you by your peers. So good for you for finding out your fine being alone. Dont let anyone tell you differently. But, as the other guy already suggested dont shut yourself off completely from it completely.
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Unwittingly inappropriate post.
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On June 05 2014 08:18 phipsL wrote:Show nested quote +On June 05 2014 08:04 levelping wrote:On June 05 2014 07:12 phipsL wrote:On June 05 2014 03:52 biology]major wrote:On June 05 2014 03:44 phipsL wrote:On June 05 2014 03:42 Wombat_NI wrote:
I am in a similar place myself of late actually, feels good man. Plus future relationships will likely be better with skills such as driving etc under your belt. Yeah driving. Or hacking everything, like I learned it in Watch Dogs. I had that happen to me for about a week. I felt like a completely asexual being and had 0 interest in women. I will admit I was happier than usual, and I don't know what caused it but it's gone now. I'm actually interested in women. Whenever I see a cute girl in the train or so I'm like "Daaaaayum, what could I say to her" but then I reconsider it saying to myself "Well, she's probably not interested anyway" and I just move on. Because right now I wouldn't say "no" to a one-night-stand (if I actually got the chance ;_;) but I just don't want a commited relationship. But I can understand that you were happy with that. It's actually the best emotional phase I've ever had. Not even the few very short relationship-esque things I had were better. I wish I had an idea about how I get to this phase, but I don't know. After last time I got romantically involved with a woman (which didn't work out) I just said "well, 2014 is gonna be no women year for me" and so I deleted whatsapp, only text with my best friends and also deactived my facebook. And it really worked for me. Hey Phipsl. I actually really know how you feel because I'm in the same mindset too. I think it's fine, and is just part of growing older. Love sex and relationships are just a small part of life and it's foolish to focus so much energy on these things such that you forget to be happy with yourself when you're alone. Just one word of caution though, don't dig in too much in being happy alone. Stay open to meeting new people! Otherwise it's easy to become too much of a loner (especially when you start working since you meet much less people as compared to school) May I ask you how old you are? I'm 19, turn 20 this year, and I really want to have a girlfriend at some point in life. Getting a family, kids and all that. If I die in (hopefully 80 years ) and never had kids I'll probably be very sad^^ But right now I'm also way too young for kids and I just don't want a girlfriend. Also I'm already working for 2 years. End of the year I will attend nursery school so I'll meet a few new people (who I probably won't care about^^)
I'm 28 this year. So i guess I'm a lot older than you. But I guess growing up isn't about the numbers really. If you reach this stage earlier then good on you. You're a lot happier than your peers who obsess over getting laid or finding a girlfriend.
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On June 02 2014 18:42 Maluk wrote:
I like how every "dating expert" here thinks that confessing is a bad plan. It's actually the best one in the only case that matters - the case where you are in love with each other.
did you ever have a girlfriend cuz when the girl loves you, you don't need to confess, you're going to know, if you have to "confess" it's usually because the love is just one way
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On June 05 2014 09:23 SixStrings wrote:
For the first time in my life I have second thoughts about sleeping with someone.
I met a Japanese girl and I was really delighted, because that was an absolute first.
Even more so, when she was completely shaven (or lasered, probably, because it was absolutely pristine).
That should have been a tipoff... The second one should have been that she didn't know what 'cut' means, but she did know what sixty nine means. The third one that she just took me without a condom and without me even trying to do that.
She's also five years older than I am, so that's another novelty.
I think I'm going to get myself checked out...
Uh oh, that doesn't look good, I hope she was just desperate to get laid.
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On June 05 2014 09:52 isaachukfan wrote:Show nested quote +On June 05 2014 09:23 SixStrings wrote:
For the first time in my life I have second thoughts about sleeping with someone.
I met a Japanese girl and I was really delighted, because that was an absolute first.
Even more so, when she was completely shaven (or lasered, probably, because it was absolutely pristine).
That should have been a tipoff... The second one should have been that she didn't know what 'cut' means, but she did know what sixty nine means. The third one that she just took me without a condom and without me even trying to do that.
She's also five years older than I am, so that's another novelty.
I think I'm going to get myself checked out... Uh oh, that doesn't look good, I hope she was just desperate to get laid.
There are two people involved that didn't bother thinking about STDs or pregnancies. There always are.
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being really aroused makes people dumber though, with one goal in mind
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On June 05 2014 09:23 SixStrings wrote:
For the first time in my life I have second thoughts about sleeping with someone.
I met a Japanese girl and I was really delighted, because that was an absolute first.
Even more so, when she was completely shaven (or lasered, probably, because it was absolutely pristine).
That should have been a tipoff... The second one should have been that she didn't know what 'cut' means, but she did know what sixty nine means. The third one that she just took me without a condom and without me even trying to do that.
She's also five years older than I am, so that's another novelty.
I think I'm going to get myself checked out...
Wait three months before you do though. HIV and Hep C need at least that long to become active enough to show up on any tests xD
But don't worry too much. Even if you have unprotected buttsex with an infected person it's relatively difficult to catch one of the big nasties. Most of the other shit can be cured anyway.
Just wondering btw what does her ignorance to the word cut mean to you? That she's a prostitute? If so probably not a cheap one because she apparently has the money to get lasered so there's that..
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On June 05 2014 09:23 SixStrings wrote:
For the first time in my life I have second thoughts about sleeping with someone.
I met a Japanese girl and I was really delighted, because that was an absolute first.
Even more so, when she was completely shaven (or lasered, probably, because it was absolutely pristine).
That should have been a tipoff... The second one should have been that she didn't know what 'cut' means, but she did know what sixty nine means. The third one that she just took me without a condom and without me even trying to do that.
She's also five years older than I am, so that's another novelty.
I think I'm going to get myself checked out...
maybe shes on birth control or sterile you never know
otherwise
you gonna be a great dad im sure
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Unwittingly inappropriate post.
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EPT
