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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
sam!zdat
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States5559 Posts
November 12 2013 00:26 GMT
#6221
this is a somewhat special case because one of the things we've connected about is other people thinking we are weird. and we are probably gonna talk to some extent about "serious" topics because we are both philosophers. but yeah
shikata ga nai
WarSame
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada1950 Posts
November 12 2013 00:49 GMT
#6222
I think you're weird if that helps your confidence out.
Can it be I stayed away too long? Did you miss these rhymes while I was gone?
sam!zdat
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States5559 Posts
November 12 2013 00:55 GMT
#6223
thanks!
shikata ga nai
Dogfoodboy16
Profile Joined October 2013
364 Posts
November 12 2013 01:04 GMT
#6224
On November 11 2013 03:43 dAPhREAk wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 11 2013 01:23 slytown wrote:
Could use some help. A good friend of mine broke my cherry a few weeks ago and we've been spending more time together. So yay! Although she sort of already has a long distance relationship. Just letting her feel things out relationship wise.

Were great together but one annoying thing in the sex context is I haven't "released" with her yet. Even after several intense sessions. I figure the reason is I've been used to myself for so long. I've been very good for her and that's good enough for me but she wants my satisfaction too.


Is it normal for guys to have trouble even though our culture says its easy? Is it just something her and I need to work on?

dont masturbate for a few days before you meet up with her again. you will be fine.

if that doesnt fix the issue, you are probably just not that into her, or, extremely less likely, you have a physical issue.


Just use some of these. AMAZING!

Deleted User 183001
Profile Joined May 2011
2939 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-12 01:11:36
November 12 2013 01:10 GMT
#6225
I'm intrigued by this reference to having girls in classes. Such a thing doesn't exist in engineering

Anyways, out of boredom when I'm not working my ass off with school, I've still been pulling different girls just about every weekend. Why different ones? A bit strange, but my conscience simply does not like the idea of fuckbuddies. I hate the idea of having a girl like me in other ways than just sexual, when the reality of the relationship is just for that. It's stupidly manipulative and disgusting. The only problem is a couple of these girls I've seen literally 2-3 times now like me a lot, and want to hang out more, and well.. it's getting a bit weird for me.

I'm still not completely over losing the girl I was actually seriously dating this summer whose parents forced us to not talk or go out anymore for a disgustingly terrible reason.. Considering it took me 1.5-2 years to find a girl I actually liked, I'm obviously not very happy that it ended, or in particular, the manner in which it did...
I thought having business with girls from her sorority's chapter here would help me get over that, but heh, it didn't.

Anyways, I'm kind of giving up on finding a serious relationship. Maybe it's something I should worry about once I finish my Master's degree next year
WarSame
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada1950 Posts
November 12 2013 01:14 GMT
#6226
Where are you meeting this girls at uni if not in class?

For myself, one of the 6 girls in my Software Engineering class(105ish people) likes me I think, which is cool. Now I have to figure out how to go about this... If you look at my first TL blog... that was the last time anything even close to romantic has happened to me, so I'm not good at it.
Can it be I stayed away too long? Did you miss these rhymes while I was gone?
dAPhREAk
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Nauru12397 Posts
November 12 2013 01:18 GMT
#6227
On November 12 2013 10:04 Dogfoodboy16 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 11 2013 03:43 dAPhREAk wrote:
On November 11 2013 01:23 slytown wrote:
Could use some help. A good friend of mine broke my cherry a few weeks ago and we've been spending more time together. So yay! Although she sort of already has a long distance relationship. Just letting her feel things out relationship wise.

Were great together but one annoying thing in the sex context is I haven't "released" with her yet. Even after several intense sessions. I figure the reason is I've been used to myself for so long. I've been very good for her and that's good enough for me but she wants my satisfaction too.


Is it normal for guys to have trouble even though our culture says its easy? Is it just something her and I need to work on?

dont masturbate for a few days before you meet up with her again. you will be fine.

if that doesnt fix the issue, you are probably just not that into her, or, extremely less likely, you have a physical issue.


Just use some of these. AMAZING!

+ Show Spoiler +
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPLwLVGCSXA

i wonder why they call it origami instead of accordion. those do look interesting. amazon doesnt sell them though.
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32151 Posts
November 12 2013 01:24 GMT
#6228
On November 12 2013 07:46 sam!zdat wrote:
making plans to meet up with a really promising girl I met online - she is super attractive and is studying philosophy. we have been exchanging letters

like snail mail letters? because i'm imagining you dipping a feathered pen into some ink, and slapping some wax on the back of an envelope and it's pretty bad ass
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
sam!zdat
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States5559 Posts
November 12 2013 01:32 GMT
#6229
that sounds hot but sadly no, I just mean messages that are longer than chats. We have each sent a message of 2 or 3 paragraphs each day for like... 4 or 5 days? Online dating is strange, this is the first person I have ever talked to like that online. But I despaired of meeting girls I actually like and so far it is working better than I could have hoped really...
shikata ga nai
Kal_rA
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States2925 Posts
November 12 2013 01:38 GMT
#6230
On November 12 2013 10:32 sam!zdat wrote:
that sounds hot but sadly no, I just mean messages that are longer than chats. We have each sent a message of 2 or 3 paragraphs each day for like... 4 or 5 days? Online dating is strange, this is the first person I have ever talked to like that online. But I despaired of meeting girls I actually like and so far it is working better than I could have hoped really...

Probably terrible terrible advice but if your okay with the online dating check out the app Tinder. Its more for hooking up but you might find some success on there.. Glgl with this other girl though
Jaedong.
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32151 Posts
November 12 2013 02:07 GMT
#6231
booooo

sounds good though. actually follow through and set a date. as someone else mentioned, a lot of times chemistry online/texting doesnt turn out to mean much in person. hope that's not the case for you!
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
sam!zdat
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States5559 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-12 02:40:41
November 12 2013 02:39 GMT
#6232
haha tinder - I am not looking for a hookup. I don't like most people enough (or have enough to talk to them about) to want to have sex with them. thanks for the suggestion though

On November 12 2013 11:07 QuanticHawk wrote:
actually follow through and set a date.


working on it! unfortunately I already made plans for this saturday that would not be good to back out of (if only I had known...)
shikata ga nai
IgnE
Profile Joined November 2010
United States7681 Posts
November 12 2013 02:40 GMT
#6233
I've had two long-term relationships (1+ years) develop from online dating in the 5ish years since I first tried it. Online dating is a fine supplement for "offline dating," and is similar in that you will find tons of people you don't click with and a few that you actually do click with. I think you should trust your instincts sam, and that you have legitimate right to be excited about it.

It's quite possible that you have a somewhat exceptional case given your messaging history with this girl. I ordinarily do not advise sending more than 3 messages to any girl before meeting her because the investment is too high and you both tend to get unrealistic portraits of the person you are messaging since you are able to project your ideal onto a virtual template without a three-dimensional being sitting across from you to shatter the illusion. It kind of sounds as if this girl is new to online dating, since most girls who have been at it a while get jaded pretty fast and aren't likely to invest that much time messaging a guy they haven't met. But then she made a comment about how "all the guys" she meets are assholes. Make of it what you will I guess. Probably a sign that at least intellectual chemistry exists.

May the wu-wei be with you.
The unrealistic sound of these propositions is indicative, not of their utopian character, but of the strength of the forces which prevent their realization.
IgnE
Profile Joined November 2010
United States7681 Posts
November 12 2013 02:41 GMT
#6234
On November 12 2013 11:39 sam!zdat wrote:
haha tinder - I am not looking for a hookup. I don't like most people enough (or have enough to talk to them about) to want to have sex with them. thanks for the suggestion though

Show nested quote +
On November 12 2013 11:07 QuanticHawk wrote:
actually follow through and set a date.


working on it! unfortunately I already made plans for this saturday that would not be good to back out of (if only I had known...)


Wait, you haven't set a date yet? What is wrong with Wed/Thurs/Fri/Sun/Monday?
The unrealistic sound of these propositions is indicative, not of their utopian character, but of the strength of the forces which prevent their realization.
sam!zdat
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States5559 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-12 02:52:36
November 12 2013 02:43 GMT
#6235
On November 12 2013 11:41 IgnE wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 12 2013 11:39 sam!zdat wrote:
haha tinder - I am not looking for a hookup. I don't like most people enough (or have enough to talk to them about) to want to have sex with them. thanks for the suggestion though

On November 12 2013 11:07 QuanticHawk wrote:
actually follow through and set a date.


working on it! unfortunately I already made plans for this saturday that would not be good to back out of (if only I had known...)


Wait, you haven't set a date yet? What is wrong with Wed/Thurs/Fri/Sun/Monday?


I dunno ask her!

On November 12 2013 11:40 IgnE wrote:
Probably a sign that at least intellectual chemistry exists.


the intellectual chemisty is through the roof. I made some serious points when she said "I'm interested in phil of math but in a continental way (yes it's possible)" and I said "oh you mean like badiou and frege and russell and stuff?" and she said "omg you know three of them!" and "I'm working on this paper about the axiom of regularity" and I said "I googled that and I kinda understand it, it's interesting that the article says X thing about it" and she said "that's what my paper is about!!". And she also said "it's cool that you like zizek." And then we talked about how grad school feels like high school and we both feel exactly the same way about it.

because when I messaged her first to say "what kind of philosophy do you study" she said "I don't normally respond to grad students because they are all assholes, but I will answer your question at least". but this led to the discovery that we are having similar issues about getting along with other students and we connected over that and she has responded to me many times even though she said she wouldn't :D
shikata ga nai
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland27041 Posts
November 12 2013 02:52 GMT
#6236
Damn man, I wish I could have conversations on such topics with womens. I know they do exist, finding them is the tricky part in my experience!
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
sam!zdat
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States5559 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-12 02:56:34
November 12 2013 02:53 GMT
#6237
On November 12 2013 11:52 Wombat_NI wrote:
finding them is the tricky part in my experience!


that's what drove me to online dating. I hate it on a theoretical level, but here I am going deng xiaoping style and I don't give a fuck what color the cat is as long as it catches the... uh, mouse.

edit: this just in. Friday!
shikata ga nai
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland27041 Posts
November 12 2013 02:57 GMT
#6238
What do you hate about it on a theoretical level? I dislike it as it actually functions for the most part, but nothing against the concept really.
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
IgnE
Profile Joined November 2010
United States7681 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-12 03:00:13
November 12 2013 02:59 GMT
#6239
What do you hate about it on a theoretical level? ^^

edit: Friday is greatday.
The unrealistic sound of these propositions is indicative, not of their utopian character, but of the strength of the forces which prevent their realization.
sam!zdat
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States5559 Posts
November 12 2013 03:06 GMT
#6240
oh, I just hate the idea of filling out the little questions and stuff. technocratic rationality and all that. there is a delaney novel where this big computer filters through everyone in the galaxy and computes the main character's "perfect erotic object," there has always been something a little nauseating about that for me. But on the other hand, the girls I want to date are all staying at home reading books so I don't know how else I am supposed to meet them lol.
shikata ga nai
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