EPTgf just broke up with me. was only dating like a month but still makes me so emo sdjkfgjkhdsfsdfs
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 311
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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Pokebunny
United States10654 Posts
gf just broke up with me. was only dating like a month but still makes me so emo sdjkfgjkhdsfsdfs | ||
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
On November 10 2013 15:30 Dogfoodboy16 wrote: So I just got back from a first date with a girl from my college. We went to see a movie and everything turned out good except she would text during the movie which irritates me a lot. We kissed at the end of the night and I said I'd call her but the texting thing is so annoying. Should I follow the advise of A Bronx Tale or go a second date and tell her to knock it off? just blow her off bro. texters have no common decency | ||
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lannisport
878 Posts
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Aeroplaneoverthesea
United Kingdom1977 Posts
On November 10 2013 15:30 Dogfoodboy16 wrote: So I just got back from a first date with a girl from my college. We went to see a movie and everything turned out good except she would text during the movie which irritates me a lot. We kissed at the end of the night and I said I'd call her but the texting thing is so annoying. Should I follow the advise of A Bronx Tale or go a second date and tell her to knock it off? Surely this depends how many other options you've got? If this is your first date in a few months then stick with her. If you think you could get someone else then do that. Given your username I'm guessing you're 16 in which case she's probably texting because she's 16 and that's what young girls do. I wouldn't read much into it. | ||
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r.Evo
Germany14080 Posts
On November 10 2013 04:13 Najda wrote: I'm not a woman so I can only speak secondhand, but I do know girls who get hit on very regularly. It's similar to the 80/20 rule in that the most attractive women also get almost all of the attention. Of course, it depends a lot on the setting as well. The exact same rule is true for men. Past a certain point of getting your shit together women start courting you (which is usually quite hilarious since most are awful at trying to pick up men). Try going out with a couple of girls (either as pivots or actual buddies/interested girls) and enjoy seeing rooms blow up if you're the center of your groups attention. The same holds true for anything that makes most people go like "wtf I didn't know that could work" For example trying to make out with a girl at a party is work, making out with two girls in short succession without any explosions is very, very hard work but making the step from openly seducing two to even more is child's play. Escalating anything like this to something that doesn't involve buyers remorse is another story. | ||
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slytown
Korea (South)1411 Posts
Were great together but one annoying thing in the sex context is I haven't "released" with her yet. Even after several intense sessions. I figure the reason is I've been used to myself for so long. I've been very good for her and that's good enough for me but she wants my satisfaction too. Is it normal for guys to have trouble even though our culture says its easy? Is it just something her and I need to work on? | ||
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Aeroplaneoverthesea
United Kingdom1977 Posts
On November 11 2013 01:23 slytown wrote: Could use some help. A good friend of mine broke my cherry a few weeks ago and we've been spending more time together. So yay! Although she sort of already has a long distance relationship. Just letting her feel things out relationship wise. Were great together but one annoying thing in the sex context is I haven't "released" with her yet. Even after several intense sessions. I figure the reason is I've been used to myself for so long. I've been very good for her and that's good enough for me but she wants my satisfaction too. Is it normal for guys to have trouble even though our culture says its easy? Is it just something her and I need to work on? Are you using a condom and what position are you using? | ||
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aksfjh
United States4853 Posts
On November 11 2013 01:23 slytown wrote: Could use some help. A good friend of mine broke my cherry a few weeks ago and we've been spending more time together. So yay! Although she sort of already has a long distance relationship. Just letting her feel things out relationship wise. Were great together but one annoying thing in the sex context is I haven't "released" with her yet. Even after several intense sessions. I figure the reason is I've been used to myself for so long. I've been very good for her and that's good enough for me but she wants my satisfaction too. Is it normal for guys to have trouble even though our culture says its easy? Is it just something her and I need to work on? To answer your questions: kinda and yes. I've never been easy, and it often takes me getting really comfortable with a woman before it becomes a regular thing. The best you can do is not to worry about it and just enjoy the moment anyways. If you absolutely can't stop worrying about it, try different positions and don't give up. | ||
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docvoc
United States5491 Posts
On November 11 2013 01:43 aksfjh wrote: To answer your questions: kinda and yes. I've never been easy, and it often takes me getting really comfortable with a woman before it becomes a regular thing. The best you can do is not to worry about it and just enjoy the moment anyways. If you absolutely can't stop worrying about it, try different positions and don't give up. Along with that, it can help if you warm each other up. Girls take about 10-12 minutes to warm up, and guys aren't like grab and go either. As much as society makes it seem like guys can just go anytime, anywhere, we actually require warm up too. It's the idea of the bases, as you go along them, you warm each other up more and more so that you can be ready. Also, a lot of guys either lose it really fast or it takes them forever the first several times, that's normal, just don't stop trying because it will happen when you become comfortable with the girl. | ||
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dAPhREAk
Nauru12397 Posts
On November 11 2013 01:23 slytown wrote: Could use some help. A good friend of mine broke my cherry a few weeks ago and we've been spending more time together. So yay! Although she sort of already has a long distance relationship. Just letting her feel things out relationship wise. Were great together but one annoying thing in the sex context is I haven't "released" with her yet. Even after several intense sessions. I figure the reason is I've been used to myself for so long. I've been very good for her and that's good enough for me but she wants my satisfaction too. Is it normal for guys to have trouble even though our culture says its easy? Is it just something her and I need to work on? dont masturbate for a few days before you meet up with her again. you will be fine. if that doesnt fix the issue, you are probably just not that into her, or, extremely less likely, you have a physical issue. | ||
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Najda
United States3765 Posts
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Aeroplaneoverthesea
United Kingdom1977 Posts
If she's on top and you cant cum that's pretty normal as most women tend to be a bit crap at sex when they have to actually do something besides lay there and look pretty. | ||
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slytown
Korea (South)1411 Posts
Edit: + Show Spoiler + it finally happened tonight. Thanks again guys. Could have been a number of things but I think I was more relaxed and stayed slower for longer. Whew, finally. | ||
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sam!zdat
United States5559 Posts
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farvacola
United States18856 Posts
(totes jelly though, can't say set theory is a big topic at the gym lol) | ||
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Ghostcom
Denmark4783 Posts
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
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Aeroplaneoverthesea
United Kingdom1977 Posts
On November 12 2013 07:46 sam!zdat wrote: making plans to meet up with a really promising girl I met online - she is super attractive and is studying philosophy. we have been exchanging letters and really hitting it off. I made a good impression because I knew how to talk about set theory - the only useful thing "phil 200 - history of analytic philosophy" ever did for me :D We are going to get together and smoke weed and eat indian food and complain about grad school and how we are misunderstood... i can't wait. Is it next week yet? she gave me the "you better not be just looking to get laid because everyone I meet on here is an asshole... but quote 'the set is contingent which means it's open ended' unquote"... luckily I have been working on my wu-wei.. the only downside is that now I can't concentrate at all on my reading... anyway I am really excited about her so you guys better be rooting for me I've done a bit of online dating and contrary to the stereotype there's actually loads of really interesting and attractive girls on dating websites. The big reservation and warning I have is that imo it's really easy to think you have all this chemistry with someone when you've never actually met in real life because you project everything on to her that you want in a girlfriend to make up for the gaps you have in what she's actually like because you've never met her. Then you meet in real life and realise you don't click, she's not as attractive interesting as you thought, or she has various really annoying/unlikable habits you'd never pick up without meeting face to face. Just be careful not to have unrealistic expectations of how awesome it's going to be only to be disappointed if it's not sparks flying. Common interests are really great but imo a huge part of relationships is just that intangible chemistry you have with some girls which doesn't have much at all to do with common interests and you can't really know if you've got that until you meet in real life. That said I met an ex-girlfriend of many years online (not online dating but nevertheless) and we had great chemistry. On November 11 2013 05:45 slytown wrote: K. Thanks bros. she just wants to make me happy the same way I did for her. I still think it's fun as he'll just satisfying her. Edit: + Show Spoiler + it finally happened tonight. Thanks again guys. Could have been a number of things but I think I was more relaxed and stayed slower for longer. Whew, finally. High Five. Good for you man | ||
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sam!zdat
United States5559 Posts
but yeah I need to avoid overthinking it. guess I should take a cold shower and go read about cataract surgery in classical china some more... | ||
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Aeroplaneoverthesea
United Kingdom1977 Posts
On November 12 2013 08:45 sam!zdat wrote: good advice. tbh I would be just as happy to get a friend out of this as a girlfriend, though of course the latter would be nice as well and I'm trying not to think about it this way because I have a bad habit of friendzoning myself. One doctrine that I am trying to keep in mind is that you are probably more attractive the less you are thinking about whether they like you and the more you are thinking about whether you like them... back to that wuwei again... but yeah I need to avoid overthinking it. guess I should take a cold shower and go read about cataract surgery in classical china some more... Yeah I think this is the key point. There's really two types of first dates. 1) With someone you're already friends with/or at least know quite well and you are dating because you both know you want something more. 2) Dates with random strangers. Both types of dates require you to behave really differently and it's when people act they're on a type 1 date when really it's a type 2 that you are pretty likely to find yourself in the friend zone. On a type 1 date you can be all friendly and whatever because you are friends and she already knows and like you so you're not going for the hard sell because you don't really need to convince her you're the guy she wants because she already knows and wants you. The mistake a lot of people make with online to real life dates is thinking they're in a type 1 date because you've sent her X number of texts and now you're close friends when it's 100% a type 2 and you need to act like this is a girl whose phone number you got in a bar. A small example of the difference is that on a type 1 date you can say negative stuff, talk about serious topics or interests you have that 95% of people think are dumb (eg. Starcraft) and be yourself because you know she likes you. You never want to come across as negative, pessimistic or weird etc.. on a date with a stranger because no one wants to hear/see that on a first date. | ||
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