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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
Chocolate
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States2350 Posts
November 12 2013 03:14 GMT
#6241
I know/have met a few STEM postdocs and PhD holders and it seems that this field of study does not correlate well with attractiveness. Maybe humanities are different, but I must say that you've hit the jackpot. GL Sam, hope you get to demonstrate to her your means of production, you lucky commie.
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland25984 Posts
November 12 2013 03:19 GMT
#6242
On November 12 2013 12:06 sam!zdat wrote:
oh, I just hate the idea of filling out the little questions and stuff. technocratic rationality and all that. there is a delaney novel where this big computer filters through everyone in the galaxy and computes the main character's "perfect erotic object," there has always been something a little nauseating about that for me. But on the other hand, the girls I want to date are all staying at home reading books so I don't know how else I am supposed to meet them lol.

Haha when you put it like that. For me it's more that there seems to be a massive disconnect between what people are like and are after, and what they say on their profiles to those two things.

Gl hf!
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
sam!zdat
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States5559 Posts
November 12 2013 03:20 GMT
#6243
don't congratulate me yet lol you'll jinx it

she does phil of math and physics and stuff, so she is on a borderline between humanities and STEM. but at least from her pictures she is pretty much 10/10 for hotness, at least in sam's book
shikata ga nai
IgnE
Profile Joined November 2010
United States7681 Posts
November 12 2013 03:20 GMT
#6244
I got away with a profile that was pretty bare, although I've heard from girls that it can lead them to ignore your messages. Depends on how good your pictures are and what limited information you give away I guess.

I find most online profiles to be pretty nauseating. Tell me again how much you love "having fun." Oh you just love to travel? Oh you like going to brunch? 50% of those books you listed you read in high school or are Harry Potter? Don't we all just love watching a little reality tv when we come home late from our demanding job (it's demanding but we totally love it and wouldn't trade it for anything, but balance is, like, everything, so we are also training for a marathon that we are going to run-walk never) and are just too worn out to think about our "career" any more? -- Go fuck yourself.

Look no further than online dating for evidence of the feminization of office labor.
The unrealistic sound of these propositions is indicative, not of their utopian character, but of the strength of the forces which prevent their realization.
sam!zdat
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States5559 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-12 03:24:48
November 12 2013 03:23 GMT
#6245
my picture on there is terrible lol I'm kinda surprised she's interested (I don't really have many pictures of myself and it's not like I'm super handsome or anything). she's out of my league for looks (so was my ex though) but it helps that I am such an impressive scholar lolol :D

yeah most people's profiles are pretty lame. I just searched for "philosophy" and looked for people with a high match percentage haha
shikata ga nai
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland25984 Posts
November 12 2013 03:28 GMT
#6246
On November 12 2013 12:20 IgnE wrote:
I got away with a profile that was pretty bare, although I've heard from girls that it can lead them to ignore your messages. Depends on how good your pictures are and what limited information you give away I guess.

I find most online profiles to be pretty nauseating. Tell me again how much you love "having fun." Oh you just love to travel? Oh you like going to brunch? 50% of those books you listed you read in high school or are Harry Potter? Don't we all just love watching a little reality tv when we come home late from our demanding job (it's demanding but we totally love it and wouldn't trade it for anything, but balance is, like, everything, so we are also training for a marathon that we are going to run-walk never) and are just too worn out to think about our "career" any more? -- Go fuck yourself.

Look no further than online dating for evidence of the feminization of office labor.

I wish I knew what you meant with the last part, godamn pseudo-unemployment.
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
Deleted User 183001
Profile Joined May 2011
2939 Posts
November 12 2013 04:19 GMT
#6247
On November 12 2013 10:14 WarSame wrote:
Where are you meeting this girls at uni if not in class?

For myself, one of the 6 girls in my Software Engineering class(105ish people) likes me I think, which is cool. Now I have to figure out how to go about this... If you look at my first TL blog... that was the last time anything even close to romantic has happened to me, so I'm not good at it.


At events, parties, just around campus even. As a fellow computer nerd, I know how time-constraining CS can be, but I do what I can to get around and meet some people
IgnE
Profile Joined November 2010
United States7681 Posts
November 12 2013 04:36 GMT
#6248
On November 12 2013 12:28 Wombat_NI wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 12 2013 12:20 IgnE wrote:
I got away with a profile that was pretty bare, although I've heard from girls that it can lead them to ignore your messages. Depends on how good your pictures are and what limited information you give away I guess.

I find most online profiles to be pretty nauseating. Tell me again how much you love "having fun." Oh you just love to travel? Oh you like going to brunch? 50% of those books you listed you read in high school or are Harry Potter? Don't we all just love watching a little reality tv when we come home late from our demanding job (it's demanding but we totally love it and wouldn't trade it for anything, but balance is, like, everything, so we are also training for a marathon that we are going to run-walk never) and are just too worn out to think about our "career" any more? -- Go fuck yourself.

Look no further than online dating for evidence of the feminization of office labor.

I wish I knew what you meant with the last part, godamn pseudo-unemployment.


Seems to me like women are way more likely to buy-in to the corporate work ethic and company "mission." Whenever I hear somebody prattle on about their "career" and how much they love their job in marketing or SEO startup or whatever, it's usually a woman who loves her open office layout at her trendy new company. At least men tend to unabashedly display their naked self-interest when talking about their jobs.

Women are more likely to just be thrilled that they can now choose a "career" over "family" or better yet, choose to "have it all", what does Ann-Marie Slaughter know anyway? They don't seem to realize that the only reason they were allowed into the labor force in the first place is because the real power has moved on to make space for some hard-working women who will be happy to work 60 hours a week in return for some undervalued wages. You are there because the people with real power want you there.

Yes, I know this is a generalization. Yes, I know men do this too. But compare the tone of online dating profiles for all the evidence you need that for young people in east coast cities there is a statistical difference in the attitudes between the sexes.
The unrealistic sound of these propositions is indicative, not of their utopian character, but of the strength of the forces which prevent their realization.
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland25984 Posts
November 12 2013 05:11 GMT
#6249
Perhaps it's a US thing, albeit some of what you says does ring true to a degree. Not just with employment but in other facets of life women seem more concerned about maintaining some kind of idealised public image. Parents spam Facebook with pics of them and their kids vastly more in the case of the mother, least in my limited anecdotal experience.
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
r.Evo
Profile Joined August 2006
Germany14080 Posts
November 12 2013 07:30 GMT
#6250
On November 12 2013 12:23 sam!zdat wrote:
my picture on there is terrible lol I'm kinda surprised she's interested (I don't really have many pictures of myself and it's not like I'm super handsome or anything). she's out of my league for looks (so was my ex though) but it helps that I am such an impressive scholar lolol :D

yeah most people's profiles are pretty lame. I just searched for "philosophy" and looked for people with a high match percentage haha

1) Assume mutual attraction. There is no "out of your league" there is only "I'm valuing her above me".

2) The more you're intellectually/emotionally connected the more crucial it is to connect physical on dates. If you ever have the feeling that tells you "wait fuck I don't wanna be just friends what am I doing?!" visualizing some dirty things might be perfect to bring you into the right vibe.
"We don't make mistakes here, we call it happy little accidents." ~Bob Ross
sam!zdat
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States5559 Posts
November 12 2013 07:34 GMT
#6251
oh trust me I am visualizing dirty things
shikata ga nai
r.Evo
Profile Joined August 2006
Germany14080 Posts
November 12 2013 07:38 GMT
#6252
easy life, go have fun =)
"We don't make mistakes here, we call it happy little accidents." ~Bob Ross
Sycamore
Profile Joined January 2013
204 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-12 20:01:48
November 12 2013 19:42 GMT
#6253
Im such a fucking dumb idiot. I invited this girl I really like (we dont know each other for long) to the houseparty of my flatshare. Managed to be completely drunk to the point of puking (as early as 0:30) before she even arrived. So when she did arrive I could only barely communicate with her - being drunk as fuck and she had only drunk a little bit before (I think) - and had to lay down on my bed alone in my room doing nothing. She even watched me puking when we were both in my room. She didnt know any other person at the party but me (tho a girlfriend of her was coming later). Imagine that shitty situation. AAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhh I behaved like a stupid careless shitfuck.

Later when her girlfriend arrived I think they left.
I apologized via textmail in the same night twice and she texted back that I "should stop worrying" and "everything is ok : )".

Today I texted her and asked her if she wants to meet up for cooking (because I wanted to see her again and settle things). She doenst answer. Fuck my life.
Ban the Tree 2013
Aeroplaneoverthesea
Profile Joined April 2012
United Kingdom1977 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-13 06:02:53
November 13 2013 05:50 GMT
#6254
I think the awesome part of online dating is that every girl you meet on there is single. It's such an epic pain in the ass when you're out that 80% of girls you see/approach have a boyfriend (some probably lie because they're not interested obviously) especially because some of these girls don't just tell you that straight off so you don't waste your time (because either they like free stuff, attention or are just slow and don't realise when they're being hit on).

Where as with online dating you know she's single, wants a relationship and so long as she replies to you she finds you attractive. That's all your key boxes ticked right from the off with no time or money wasted. Yeah sometimes you don't connect in real life but you don't connect with most of the people you hit on in a bar either.

I don't think online dating is a great replacement for meeting people at Uni/work/through friends etc... but it's way better than bar crawling.

Another good thing about online dating is the sheer number of girls you can be in contact with at once, so when one doesn't work out you already have your next date set up anyway.

On November 13 2013 04:42 Sycamore wrote:
Im such a fucking dumb idiot. I invited this girl I really like (we dont know each other for long) to the houseparty of my flatshare. Managed to be completely drunk to the point of puking (as early as 0:30) before she even arrived. So when she did arrive I could only barely communicate with her - being drunk as fuck and she had only drunk a little bit before (I think) - and had to lay down on my bed alone in my room doing nothing. She even watched me puking when we were both in my room. She didnt know any other person at the party but me (tho a girlfriend of her was coming later). Imagine that shitty situation. AAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhh I behaved like a stupid careless shitfuck.

Later when her girlfriend arrived I think they left.
I apologized via textmail in the same night twice and she texted back that I "should stop worrying" and "everything is ok : )".

Today I texted her and asked her if she wants to meet up for cooking (because I wanted to see her again and settle things). She doenst answer. Fuck my life.


Yeah that was dumb. Alcohol is the enemy of picking up women (for you anyway, she can be drunk as all hell).
IgnE
Profile Joined November 2010
United States7681 Posts
November 13 2013 06:04 GMT
#6255
On November 13 2013 04:42 Sycamore wrote:
Im such a fucking dumb idiot. I invited this girl I really like (we dont know each other for long) to the houseparty of my flatshare. Managed to be completely drunk to the point of puking (as early as 0:30) before she even arrived. So when she did arrive I could only barely communicate with her - being drunk as fuck and she had only drunk a little bit before (I think) - and had to lay down on my bed alone in my room doing nothing. She even watched me puking when we were both in my room. She didnt know any other person at the party but me (tho a girlfriend of her was coming later). Imagine that shitty situation. AAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhh I behaved like a stupid careless shitfuck.

Later when her girlfriend arrived I think they left.
I apologized via textmail in the same night twice and she texted back that I "should stop worrying" and "everything is ok : )".

Today I texted her and asked her if she wants to meet up for cooking (because I wanted to see her again and settle things). She doenst answer. Fuck my life.


Sounds like you have a drinking problem.
The unrealistic sound of these propositions is indicative, not of their utopian character, but of the strength of the forces which prevent their realization.
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
November 13 2013 06:08 GMT
#6256
On November 13 2013 15:04 IgnE wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 13 2013 04:42 Sycamore wrote:
Im such a fucking dumb idiot. I invited this girl I really like (we dont know each other for long) to the houseparty of my flatshare. Managed to be completely drunk to the point of puking (as early as 0:30) before she even arrived. So when she did arrive I could only barely communicate with her - being drunk as fuck and she had only drunk a little bit before (I think) - and had to lay down on my bed alone in my room doing nothing. She even watched me puking when we were both in my room. She didnt know any other person at the party but me (tho a girlfriend of her was coming later). Imagine that shitty situation. AAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhh I behaved like a stupid careless shitfuck.

Later when her girlfriend arrived I think they left.
I apologized via textmail in the same night twice and she texted back that I "should stop worrying" and "everything is ok : )".

Today I texted her and asked her if she wants to meet up for cooking (because I wanted to see her again and settle things). She doenst answer. Fuck my life.


Sounds like you have a drinking problem.

You kinda fucked yourself there bro.
User was warned for too many mimes.
Zooper31
Profile Joined May 2009
United States5711 Posts
November 13 2013 06:11 GMT
#6257
On November 13 2013 15:08 docvoc wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 13 2013 15:04 IgnE wrote:
On November 13 2013 04:42 Sycamore wrote:
Im such a fucking dumb idiot. I invited this girl I really like (we dont know each other for long) to the houseparty of my flatshare. Managed to be completely drunk to the point of puking (as early as 0:30) before she even arrived. So when she did arrive I could only barely communicate with her - being drunk as fuck and she had only drunk a little bit before (I think) - and had to lay down on my bed alone in my room doing nothing. She even watched me puking when we were both in my room. She didnt know any other person at the party but me (tho a girlfriend of her was coming later). Imagine that shitty situation. AAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhh I behaved like a stupid careless shitfuck.

Later when her girlfriend arrived I think they left.
I apologized via textmail in the same night twice and she texted back that I "should stop worrying" and "everything is ok : )".

Today I texted her and asked her if she wants to meet up for cooking (because I wanted to see her again and settle things). She doenst answer. Fuck my life.


Sounds like you have a drinking problem.

You kinda fucked yourself there bro.


You are pretty much screwed if you wanted any kind of real relationship with her lol.
Asato ma sad gamaya, tamaso ma jyotir gamaya, mrtyor mamrtam gamaya
VayneAuthority
Profile Joined October 2012
United States8983 Posts
November 13 2013 06:22 GMT
#6258
sounds like something from a TV show/movie, guy gets really nervous about date and drinks excessively due to nerves beforehand and then comedic throwing up everywhere while she looks on.
I come in for the scraps
Steins;Gate
Profile Blog Joined August 2012
1422 Posts
November 13 2013 07:25 GMT
#6259
Just feel like ranting a little bit. So basically today I was a guinea pig for some psych experiment and a really really cute girl was also part of it. So yade yade we did what we were told to do. When it was over, I mustered up the courage to talk to her but I forgot to ask her for her number.

well, to be fair, she didn't really seem to like talking but still feel that little bit of regret for not asking. gahhhhhhhhh

God, I'm sorry for the incoherency lol.
" Perhaps it's impossible to wear an identity without becoming what you pretend to be. "
slytown
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Korea (South)1411 Posts
November 13 2013 08:14 GMT
#6260
On November 13 2013 16:25 Steins;Gate wrote:
Just feel like ranting a little bit. So basically today I was a guinea pig for some psych experiment and a really really cute girl was also part of it. So yade yade we did what we were told to do. When it was over, I mustered up the courage to talk to her but I forgot to ask her for her number.

well, to be fair, she didn't really seem to like talking but still feel that little bit of regret for not asking. gahhhhhhhhh

God, I'm sorry for the incoherency lol.


Always ask. Not right away: get some chat going first. Then ask her to do something drink-wise with you: alcohol or coffee; unless of course you find out u have some special interest or want to study with her. Then by all means skip the liquid and endulge your mutual interest.

Don't forget she's just a girl; not your soul mate. Plenty of girls out there; there's no one good-one.
The best Flash meme ever: http://imgur.com/zquoK
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