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On November 13 2013 04:42 Sycamore wrote:
Im such a fucking dumb idiot. I invited this girl I really like (we dont know each other for long) to the houseparty of my flatshare. Managed to be completely drunk to the point of puking (as early as 0:30) before she even arrived. So when she did arrive I could only barely communicate with her - being drunk as fuck and she had only drunk a little bit before (I think) - and had to lay down on my bed alone in my room doing nothing. She even watched me puking when we were both in my room. She didnt know any other person at the party but me (tho a girlfriend of her was coming later). Imagine that shitty situation. AAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhh I behaved like a stupid careless shitfuck.
Later when her girlfriend arrived I think they left.
I apologized via textmail in the same night twice and she texted back that I "should stop worrying" and "everything is ok : )".
Today I texted her and asked her if she wants to meet up for cooking (because I wanted to see her again and settle things). She doenst answer. Fuck my life.
You shouldnt have apologized to her. Just something along the lines of "Was a great party, a little bit too great for me! Next time we'll go get a coffee". And not invite her the next day. I mean she responded that it was okay, but awesome as you are, you already know that it's okay anyway. Sometimes it just happens that you get completely wasted, and she knows it as well as you do. No need to apologize to her for getting drunk.
Don't get me wrong though, because you did fuck up. And you know it. The thing is that she knows it too. But the second you let her confirm that you fucked up, and let her tell you that "it's okay", she does not feel bad for ditching you anymore.
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On November 13 2013 17:33 MightyBill wrote:Show nested quote +On November 13 2013 04:42 Sycamore wrote:
Im such a fucking dumb idiot. I invited this girl I really like (we dont know each other for long) to the houseparty of my flatshare. Managed to be completely drunk to the point of puking (as early as 0:30) before she even arrived. So when she did arrive I could only barely communicate with her - being drunk as fuck and she had only drunk a little bit before (I think) - and had to lay down on my bed alone in my room doing nothing. She even watched me puking when we were both in my room. She didnt know any other person at the party but me (tho a girlfriend of her was coming later). Imagine that shitty situation. AAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhh I behaved like a stupid careless shitfuck.
Later when her girlfriend arrived I think they left.
I apologized via textmail in the same night twice and she texted back that I "should stop worrying" and "everything is ok : )".
Today I texted her and asked her if she wants to meet up for cooking (because I wanted to see her again and settle things). She doenst answer. Fuck my life.
You shouldnt have apologized to her. Just something along the lines of "Was a great party, a little bit too great for me! Next time we'll go get a coffee". And not invite her the next day. I mean she responded that it was okay, but awesome as you are, you already know that it's okay anyway. Sometimes it just happens that you get completely wasted, and she knows it as well as you do. No need to apologize to her for getting drunk. Don't get me wrong though, because you did fuck up. And you know it. The thing is that she knows it too. But the second you let her confirm that you fucked up, and let her tell you that "it's okay", she does not feel bad for ditching you anymore.
I completely disagree about him not apologizing. He invited her to a party in which she didn't know anyone there. And when she arrives, he's completely smashed and makes her take care of him until her friend arrives and then she can leave. He made an ass out of himself and he did the right thing saying sorry.
Don't need to act all macho and be some dominant guy who doesn't apologize for mistakes he's made. Take the high ground, admit you were at fault, be a bigger man and move on.
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Edit: I understand your point, and I agree with it, but look at it like this: [Edit2/end]
It's not acting all macho, it's just not bothering people you hardly know with small mistakes everyone makes regularly. Not apologizing for small stuff means the same as telling her that it's okay for her to screw up like that as well. I find people that allow me to make mistakes without having to explain myself very comforting to be around.
I mean, if you bump into someone, generally both people say "I'm sorry I'm sorry!". But funny exercise: Start bumping into people on purpose, wait for them to say "I'm sorry", and tell them "No man, it's okay!". First of all they feel great because some extremely cool guy told them they did not make a mistake. And you feel great because you feel like an extremely cool guy.
Edit: What does this have to do with the girl? She feels like an extremely cool guy while he is waiting for a text message, while it should have been the other way around.
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not apologizing after you ruined her night is pretty dick lol then you just look like a dumb drunk and an asshole
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Northern Ireland27478 Posts
I think apologising was the right thing given various factors there. The bumping into people comparison raises a good point though, drives me nuts especially with good old British norms of politeness that you're expected to apologise even when the other person is clearly culpable for a collision!
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United States7639 Posts
Uh... That's exactly what he's advocating for: expecting you to apologize when he is clearly the one responsible. He wants to feel high and mighty for waving off the collision (which he purposely caused).
Sure, I tend to apologize on reflex for run ins, because it's usually as much my fault as the other person's. But if you fucking run into me on purpose and stand there waiting for an apology, you've got another thing coming. I'm not going to think you're an "extremely cool guy." I'm just going to think you're a dick. Which you are.
This last weekend I had a pretty unpleasant night when my boyfriend got really drunk and started pushing me around, throwing things at me, and ordering me to get him water. The next day, he apologized. And it was okay. If he hadn't, we would have had a problem. When you're the one being the drunk asshole, you do not get to be the "cool guy" the next day. You apologize for your actions. End of story.
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Sometimes it is both refreshing and terrifying to know that women actually read this thread 
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Northern Ireland27478 Posts
Alcohol is quite frustrating for that, its ridiculous the people who dodge culpability for their actions as if they didn't choose I drink.
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On November 13 2013 17:14 slytown wrote:Show nested quote +On November 13 2013 16:25 Steins;Gate wrote:Just feel like ranting a little bit. So basically today I was a guinea pig for some psych experiment and a really really cute girl was also part of it. So yade yade we did what we were told to do. When it was over, I mustered up the courage to talk to her but I forgot to ask her for her number.  well, to be fair, she didn't really seem to like talking but still feel that little bit of regret for not asking. gahhhhhhhhh God, I'm sorry for the incoherency lol. Always ask. Not right away: get some chat going first. Then ask her to do something drink-wise with you: alcohol or coffee; unless of course you find out u have some special interest or want to study with her. Then by all means skip the liquid and endulge your mutual interest. Don't forget she's just a girl; not your soul mate. Plenty of girls out there; there's no one good-one.
remember that for next time lol
i know ^^
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I usually just fall asleep when I drink, interesting how differently it affects people
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Netherlands6192 Posts
On November 14 2013 03:59 Kiett wrote:
Uh... That's exactly what he's advocating for: expecting you to apologize when he is clearly the one responsible. He wants to feel high and mighty for waving off the collision (which he purposely caused).
Sure, I tend to apologize on reflex for run ins, because it's usually as much my fault as the other person's. But if you fucking run into me on purpose and stand there waiting for an apology, you've got another thing coming. I'm not going to think you're an "extremely cool guy." I'm just going to think you're a dick. Which you are.
This last weekend I had a pretty unpleasant night when my boyfriend got really drunk and started pushing me around, throwing things at me, and ordering me to get him water. The next day, he apologized. And it was okay. If he hadn't, we would have had a problem. When you're the one being the drunk asshole, you do not get to be the "cool guy" the next day. You apologize for your actions. End of story.
This exactly.
Well done for apologizing Sycamore, it was the right thing to do. Acting like an asshole afterwards will not get you any points. If she says it is okay she is probably upset but ultimately fine with it, because she understands that it happens. Next time you see her, offer to make it up to her with a coffee or something.
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On November 13 2013 17:33 MightyBill wrote:Show nested quote +On November 13 2013 04:42 Sycamore wrote:
Im such a fucking dumb idiot. I invited this girl I really like (we dont know each other for long) to the houseparty of my flatshare. Managed to be completely drunk to the point of puking (as early as 0:30) before she even arrived. So when she did arrive I could only barely communicate with her - being drunk as fuck and she had only drunk a little bit before (I think) - and had to lay down on my bed alone in my room doing nothing. She even watched me puking when we were both in my room. She didnt know any other person at the party but me (tho a girlfriend of her was coming later). Imagine that shitty situation. AAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhh I behaved like a stupid careless shitfuck.
Later when her girlfriend arrived I think they left.
I apologized via textmail in the same night twice and she texted back that I "should stop worrying" and "everything is ok : )".
Today I texted her and asked her if she wants to meet up for cooking (because I wanted to see her again and settle things). She doenst answer. Fuck my life.
You shouldnt have apologized to her. Just something along the lines of "Was a great party, a little bit too great for me! Next time we'll go get a coffee". And not invite her the next day. I mean she responded that it was okay, but awesome as you are, you already know that it's okay anyway. Sometimes it just happens that you get completely wasted, and she knows it as well as you do. No need to apologize to her for getting drunk. Don't get me wrong though, because you did fuck up. And you know it. The thing is that she knows it too. But the second you let her confirm that you fucked up, and let her tell you that "it's okay", she does not feel bad for ditching you anymore.
Are you a sociopath or just a pick-up artist?
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On November 14 2013 05:16 Grumbels wrote:Show nested quote +On November 13 2013 17:33 MightyBill wrote:On November 13 2013 04:42 Sycamore wrote:
Im such a fucking dumb idiot. I invited this girl I really like (we dont know each other for long) to the houseparty of my flatshare. Managed to be completely drunk to the point of puking (as early as 0:30) before she even arrived. So when she did arrive I could only barely communicate with her - being drunk as fuck and she had only drunk a little bit before (I think) - and had to lay down on my bed alone in my room doing nothing. She even watched me puking when we were both in my room. She didnt know any other person at the party but me (tho a girlfriend of her was coming later). Imagine that shitty situation. AAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhh I behaved like a stupid careless shitfuck.
Later when her girlfriend arrived I think they left.
I apologized via textmail in the same night twice and she texted back that I "should stop worrying" and "everything is ok : )".
Today I texted her and asked her if she wants to meet up for cooking (because I wanted to see her again and settle things). She doenst answer. Fuck my life.
You shouldnt have apologized to her. Just something along the lines of "Was a great party, a little bit too great for me! Next time we'll go get a coffee". And not invite her the next day. I mean she responded that it was okay, but awesome as you are, you already know that it's okay anyway. Sometimes it just happens that you get completely wasted, and she knows it as well as you do. No need to apologize to her for getting drunk. Don't get me wrong though, because you did fuck up. And you know it. The thing is that she knows it too. But the second you let her confirm that you fucked up, and let her tell you that "it's okay", she does not feel bad for ditching you anymore. Are you a sociopath or just a pick-up artist?
whats the difference?
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On November 14 2013 05:26 ComaDose wrote:Show nested quote +On November 14 2013 05:16 Grumbels wrote:On November 13 2013 17:33 MightyBill wrote:On November 13 2013 04:42 Sycamore wrote:
Im such a fucking dumb idiot. I invited this girl I really like (we dont know each other for long) to the houseparty of my flatshare. Managed to be completely drunk to the point of puking (as early as 0:30) before she even arrived. So when she did arrive I could only barely communicate with her - being drunk as fuck and she had only drunk a little bit before (I think) - and had to lay down on my bed alone in my room doing nothing. She even watched me puking when we were both in my room. She didnt know any other person at the party but me (tho a girlfriend of her was coming later). Imagine that shitty situation. AAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhh I behaved like a stupid careless shitfuck.
Later when her girlfriend arrived I think they left.
I apologized via textmail in the same night twice and she texted back that I "should stop worrying" and "everything is ok : )".
Today I texted her and asked her if she wants to meet up for cooking (because I wanted to see her again and settle things). She doenst answer. Fuck my life.
You shouldnt have apologized to her. Just something along the lines of "Was a great party, a little bit too great for me! Next time we'll go get a coffee". And not invite her the next day. I mean she responded that it was okay, but awesome as you are, you already know that it's okay anyway. Sometimes it just happens that you get completely wasted, and she knows it as well as you do. No need to apologize to her for getting drunk. Don't get me wrong though, because you did fuck up. And you know it. The thing is that she knows it too. But the second you let her confirm that you fucked up, and let her tell you that "it's okay", she does not feel bad for ditching you anymore. Are you a sociopath or just a pick-up artist? whats the difference?
not all sociopaths are pickup artists
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On November 13 2013 18:12 MightyBill wrote:
Edit: I understand your point, and I agree with it, but look at it like this: [Edit2/end]
It's not acting all macho, it's just not bothering people you hardly know with small mistakes everyone makes regularly. Not apologizing for small stuff means the same as telling her that it's okay for her to screw up like that as well. I find people that allow me to make mistakes without having to explain myself very comforting to be around.
I mean, if you bump into someone, generally both people say "I'm sorry I'm sorry!". But funny exercise: Start bumping into people on purpose, wait for them to say "I'm sorry", and tell them "No man, it's okay!". First of all they feel great because some extremely cool guy told them they did not make a mistake. And you feel great because you feel like an extremely cool guy.
Edit: What does this have to do with the girl? She feels like an extremely cool guy while he is waiting for a text message, while it should have been the other way around.
Dude you got it wrong.
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Thanks for the replies. Whew, I was pretty angry about me when I wrote the post, to be honest it still bothers me a lot. But I think not apologizing would've been a no-go, because the incident wasn't small at all.
Update: By now she answered and agreed to meet up. Seems like she doesnt launch me into outer space like I thought. Let's see how she behaves when I see her.
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On November 14 2013 05:35 Sycamore wrote:
Thanks for the replies. Whew, I was pretty angry about me when I wrote the post, to be honest it still bothers me a lot. But I think not apologizing would've been a no-go, because the incident wasn't small at all.
Update: By now she answered and agreed to meet up. Seems like she doesnt launch me into outer space like I thought. Let's see how she behaves when I see her.
good luck yo. No alcohol this time looool.
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Netherlands6192 Posts
Hehe. Was pretty sure she would reply. She sounds like a decent person from what you said. Good luck though.
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Tbh if she's still agreeing to meet you after you acted like such an ass then you're well in there. Should be pretty easy from here.
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On November 14 2013 03:59 Kiett wrote:
Uh... That's exactly what he's advocating for: expecting you to apologize when he is clearly the one responsible. He wants to feel high and mighty for waving off the collision (which he purposely caused).
Sure, I tend to apologize on reflex for run ins, because it's usually as much my fault as the other person's. But if you fucking run into me on purpose and stand there waiting for an apology, you've got another thing coming. I'm not going to think you're an "extremely cool guy." I'm just going to think you're a dick. Which you are.
This last weekend I had a pretty unpleasant night when my boyfriend got really drunk and started pushing me around, throwing things at me, and ordering me to get him water. The next day, he apologized. And it was okay. If he hadn't, we would have had a problem. When you're the one being the drunk asshole, you do not get to be the "cool guy" the next day. You apologize for your actions. End of story.
Hm offtopic, just wondering. In my opinion, the pushing and throwing things is def wrong but asking for water seems like an ok thing to do.
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EPT
