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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
sc2superfan101
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
3583 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-04 07:22:49
July 04 2013 07:22 GMT
#4121
Tried to get the hottest girl in my school to date me once. Her ex-boyfriend ended up punching me in the face and getting back together with her (that night lol). After that, I sorta stopped caring and the pathetic part is that I've probably spoken to like four chicks who were single in the last 5 years, and all four of them ended up dating someone else soon after and telling me that they were expecting me to "make a move" but got bored after I didn't.

Dating is a scam. Game is hacked yo.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
aTnClouD
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Italy2428 Posts
July 04 2013 08:09 GMT
#4122
On July 04 2013 16:08 Disarmed wrote:
haha, just discovered this gem of a thread.

It's going rough for me because im kinda weird in regards to incepting ANY form of conversation. I got told many times that im handsome and funny and generally a good guy to hang around with and blablabla, but i CANNOT with all power in the universe go up to a girl and start talking. It feels sooooo fucking weird for me, though it's one of most basic concepts of human communication.

I always have the impression the girl immediately knows what i have in mind and it always feels like a test, or like a "you got one chance, better not say ONE wrong word".

Once we talk, everything is smooth sailing, but starting it......*shivers*

Im full of confidence in pretty much every other aspect in my life, but when it comes to the sweet ladies, im fucking paralyzed

Stop putting women on a pedestal. If you say you are all that amazing then they should be glad you speak to them and get together with you, don't you think?
http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g64/hunter692007/kruemelmonsteryn0.gif
Disarmed
Profile Joined April 2012
Austria721 Posts
July 04 2013 09:35 GMT
#4123
ok now that i stooped giggling that a pro-gamer responded to me heres my answer

it's true that i put them up there. It's a general thing basically, i tend to look over peoples negative sides/flaws and idealize everybody besides myself, ESPECIALLY women.

i got good self-confidence but it's hard to be wired that way.

im working on it though

Ps: Please dont think that im thinking of myself as being "amazing", i just can see why somebody would like me.
Disarmed
Profile Joined April 2012
Austria721 Posts
July 04 2013 09:38 GMT
#4124
On July 04 2013 16:22 sc2superfan101 wrote:
Tried to get the hottest girl in my school to date me once. Her ex-boyfriend ended up punching me in the face and getting back together with her (that night lol). After that, I sorta stopped caring and the pathetic part is that I've probably spoken to like four chicks who were single in the last 5 years, and all four of them ended up dating someone else soon after and telling me that they were expecting me to "make a move" but got bored after I didn't.

Dating is a scam. Game is hacked yo.


thats the thing, seemingly..
SnowfaLL
Profile Joined December 2008
Canada730 Posts
July 04 2013 09:54 GMT
#4125
Hmmhmm. I dont know what advice I can really get on my messed up situation, but venting is always nice (esp under a username!)

Long story short, I was with a girl for 4 years, was pretty good but I was never really sure of it for a variety of reasons.. I moved back to my parents (3 hours away) and we naturally broke up a year later, but that was after her asking me to move in and be "serious" - which I just wasnt sure about yet so I said no stupidly. Everything was great, I just am messed up mentally, and back then I was super depressed/jobless/a mess.

Fast forward 2 years, I have an amazing career finally, in good shape and doing well, moved back to the city. I have to see her often every morning as our paths to work cross, and we've talked about every day for a month while doing that back in April and it went well. Feelings still seem to slightly be there on both sides, but much stronger on mine (as I realized I messed up leaving her) - problem?? She has had a new BF for about a year+ now, and they live together. He seems like a loser, but still she doesnt like hurting people so I dont see her breaking up with him and having to move out/ruin their social group and all that.. but maybe... I sent her a letter 2 months ago, saying all my feelings and stuff... and while I havent heard back from her yet (I also have been working at another location for the past month so havent run into her lately) I told her in the letter to take a few months to think about it before making any decisions.. so its getting about that time where if I don't hear anything in another month or two, I'll know what her decision is..

thats what kills me; last year I thought I had no hope at all, so I didnt care about us as much anymore, but with recent developments it almost seems like a 50/50 chance of finally getting her back, and I can't get over it.. I try to distract myself with gaming and work but my mind still thinks about it so often.. This sucks =[
Favorites: Moon, Grubby, Naniwa, TAiLS, viOLeT, DongRaeGu
gedatsu
Profile Joined December 2011
1286 Posts
July 04 2013 11:27 GMT
#4126
On July 04 2013 16:08 Disarmed wrote:
haha, just discovered this gem of a thread.

It's going rough for me because im kinda weird in regards to incepting ANY form of conversation. I got told many times that im handsome and funny and generally a good guy to hang around with and blablabla, but i CANNOT with all power in the universe go up to a girl and start talking. It feels sooooo fucking weird for me, though it's one of most basic concepts of human communication.

I always have the impression the girl immediately knows what i have in mind and it always feels like a test, or like a "you got one chance, better not say ONE wrong word".

Once we talk, everything is smooth sailing, but starting it......*shivers*

Im full of confidence in pretty much every other aspect in my life, but when it comes to the sweet ladies, im fucking paralyzed

Hi, I used to be you.

You are right, girls probably do know what you have in mind, and they probably will test you. But fuck that. It's ok to approach girls for "that reason", and they think so too. You shouldn't worry about passing their test, because you are approaching them so that you can have a good time. Not so that they can. And if you've ever talked with a girl about what they look for in men, you'll know that they always bring up confidence. Which means that the guy who doesn't care about passing their test, is the one who has the best shot at actually passing it. Not to go all cliche on you but unless you live in a very small town in the desert, there are always more girls to try so it doesn't matter if you fail.

I suggest you go to http://www.youtube.com/user/SimplePickup/ and watch their videos, particularly the early ones. They say and do the weirdest stuff, and it works. Not every time of course, but enough to have been making videos about it for more than two years.
sc2superfan101
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
3583 Posts
July 04 2013 11:30 GMT
#4127
On July 04 2013 18:38 Disarmed wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 04 2013 16:22 sc2superfan101 wrote:
Tried to get the hottest girl in my school to date me once. Her ex-boyfriend ended up punching me in the face and getting back together with her (that night lol). After that, I sorta stopped caring and the pathetic part is that I've probably spoken to like four chicks who were single in the last 5 years, and all four of them ended up dating someone else soon after and telling me that they were expecting me to "make a move" but got bored after I didn't.

Dating is a scam. Game is hacked yo.


thats the thing, seemingly..

Oh yeah, that's definitely the thing. They were all quite clear on that.

The problem is, I always end up thinking: "Can I see myself marrying this girl? Can I even see myself dating this girl?" and suddenly I stop caring whatsoever and kinda just let it fizzle out.

Like I said, shit is hacked.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
RvB
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
Netherlands6248 Posts
July 04 2013 11:34 GMT
#4128
On July 04 2013 20:30 sc2superfan101 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 04 2013 18:38 Disarmed wrote:
On July 04 2013 16:22 sc2superfan101 wrote:
Tried to get the hottest girl in my school to date me once. Her ex-boyfriend ended up punching me in the face and getting back together with her (that night lol). After that, I sorta stopped caring and the pathetic part is that I've probably spoken to like four chicks who were single in the last 5 years, and all four of them ended up dating someone else soon after and telling me that they were expecting me to "make a move" but got bored after I didn't.

Dating is a scam. Game is hacked yo.


thats the thing, seemingly..

Oh yeah, that's definitely the thing. They were all quite clear on that.

The problem is, I always end up thinking: "Can I see myself marrying this girl? Can I even see myself dating this girl?" and suddenly I stop caring whatsoever and kinda just let it fizzle out.

Like I said, shit is hacked.

Well shouldn't you start dating them to answer those questions? Of course when don't really know someone you can see yourself marrying to a girl.
aTnClouD
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Italy2428 Posts
July 04 2013 12:06 GMT
#4129
On July 04 2013 18:35 Disarmed wrote:
ok now that i stooped giggling that a pro-gamer responded to me heres my answer

it's true that i put them up there. It's a general thing basically, i tend to look over peoples negative sides/flaws and idealize everybody besides myself, ESPECIALLY women.

i got good self-confidence but it's hard to be wired that way.

im working on it though

Ps: Please dont think that im thinking of myself as being "amazing", i just can see why somebody would like me.

I'm serious, if you think you have all these qualities then you are a good catch and you should approach with that mentality. Remember that women shouldn't choose, just talk with them try to have some fun and then know them better without too much drama crap and all that stuff, and if you see she likes you then it's up to YOU to choose her. That's what they want, and if you feel you have been chosen by her your relationship is going to be very, very painful for you. I would suggest you to read The Game and look into some PUA stuff aswell but it gets a lot of hate so that's your choice.
http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g64/hunter692007/kruemelmonsteryn0.gif
BigAsia
Profile Joined November 2012
Canada451 Posts
July 04 2013 13:02 GMT
#4130
On July 04 2013 21:06 aTnClouD wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 04 2013 18:35 Disarmed wrote:
ok now that i stooped giggling that a pro-gamer responded to me heres my answer

it's true that i put them up there. It's a general thing basically, i tend to look over peoples negative sides/flaws and idealize everybody besides myself, ESPECIALLY women.

i got good self-confidence but it's hard to be wired that way.

im working on it though

Ps: Please dont think that im thinking of myself as being "amazing", i just can see why somebody would like me.

I'm serious, if you think you have all these qualities then you are a good catch and you should approach with that mentality. Remember that women shouldn't choose, just talk with them try to have some fun and then know them better without too much drama crap and all that stuff, and if you see she likes you then it's up to YOU to choose her. That's what they want, and if you feel you have been chosen by her your relationship is going to be very, very painful for you. I would suggest you to read The Game and look into some PUA stuff aswell but it gets a lot of hate so that's your choice.


I agree, however I would recommend skipping The Game as I feel like its an unhealthy way to go about pickup (i'll explain why below). I'd look towards more self-improvement (simple pickup) is a good place to start.

I was really shy in highschool as well, even kiss let alone date a girl. Same thing in the first 2 years of college, so I stumbled upon The Game. I can't lie - it did help me a bit because I didn't know how to talk a girl at all but it has some serious flaws.

The major flaw in with the Method used in The Game is that it doesn't teach you how to deal with rejection. Rejection is a natural thing - some people just won't like you, and the more polarizing you are the more people that are not going to like you but u're gonna have more people love you.

Another flaw is that The Game teaches you how to be an actor and even if you get the girl you have this "Alpha" act that you need to keep up that is completely incongruent with you who are. Eventually she'll see the truth. Also it doesn't teach you to be a better person in all aspects of your life

So As far as PUA (hate the term) stuff is concerned I would look towards simple pickup. Stop giving a fuck by Jake is really good as well, and The Blueprint Decoded by Tyler Durden is good as well. Honestly if I skipped the whole Method and The Game I would have cut my learning curve down like crazy
YOLO
aTnClouD
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Italy2428 Posts
July 04 2013 13:09 GMT
#4131
On July 04 2013 22:02 BigAsia wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 04 2013 21:06 aTnClouD wrote:
On July 04 2013 18:35 Disarmed wrote:
ok now that i stooped giggling that a pro-gamer responded to me heres my answer

it's true that i put them up there. It's a general thing basically, i tend to look over peoples negative sides/flaws and idealize everybody besides myself, ESPECIALLY women.

i got good self-confidence but it's hard to be wired that way.

im working on it though

Ps: Please dont think that im thinking of myself as being "amazing", i just can see why somebody would like me.

I'm serious, if you think you have all these qualities then you are a good catch and you should approach with that mentality. Remember that women shouldn't choose, just talk with them try to have some fun and then know them better without too much drama crap and all that stuff, and if you see she likes you then it's up to YOU to choose her. That's what they want, and if you feel you have been chosen by her your relationship is going to be very, very painful for you. I would suggest you to read The Game and look into some PUA stuff aswell but it gets a lot of hate so that's your choice.


I agree, however I would recommend skipping The Game as I feel like its an unhealthy way to go about pickup (i'll explain why below). I'd look towards more self-improvement (simple pickup) is a good place to start.

I was really shy in highschool as well, even kiss let alone date a girl. Same thing in the first 2 years of college, so I stumbled upon The Game. I can't lie - it did help me a bit because I didn't know how to talk a girl at all but it has some serious flaws.

The major flaw in with the Method used in The Game is that it doesn't teach you how to deal with rejection. Rejection is a natural thing - some people just won't like you, and the more polarizing you are the more people that are not going to like you but u're gonna have more people love you.

Another flaw is that The Game teaches you how to be an actor and even if you get the girl you have this "Alpha" act that you need to keep up that is completely incongruent with you who are. Eventually she'll see the truth. Also it doesn't teach you to be a better person in all aspects of your life

So As far as PUA (hate the term) stuff is concerned I would look towards simple pickup. Stop giving a fuck by Jake is really good as well, and The Blueprint Decoded by Tyler Durden is good as well. Honestly if I skipped the whole Method and The Game I would have cut my learning curve down like crazy

Since cold approach does not work in my country due to very conservative religious culture I just used The Game and all the PUA material as a stepping stone to understand the psychology of attraction and what makes you better and attractive, and gave me a huge confidence boost knowing I could learn that stuff and make it work for myself. You don't have to do what they do but it makes a good piece of knowledge.
http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g64/hunter692007/kruemelmonsteryn0.gif
Disarmed
Profile Joined April 2012
Austria721 Posts
July 04 2013 14:12 GMT
#4132
Thanks for all the post!

Just curious....what is PUA?

My brother actually read The Game, and though he's no superman he has quite the success. But like Cloud said, he read it more out of being curious about the psychology behind it all, like what women seek in men and so on.

the funny thing is that confidence seems to open any doors, but it's not like you can buy it in a supermarket.

@cloud again: you are soooo right with cutting all the drama shit, just take it easy and have fun. Im making progress but it used to always end up in a giant clusterfuck of "really?"s and "is this going well?"s and "should have would have could have"s
BigAsia
Profile Joined November 2012
Canada451 Posts
July 04 2013 15:11 GMT
#4133
On July 04 2013 23:12 Disarmed wrote:
Thanks for all the post!

Just curious....what is PUA?

My brother actually read The Game, and though he's no superman he has quite the success. But like Cloud said, he read it more out of being curious about the psychology behind it all, like what women seek in men and so on.

the funny thing is that confidence seems to open any doors, but it's not like you can buy it in a supermarket.

@cloud again: you are soooo right with cutting all the drama shit, just take it easy and have fun. Im making progress but it used to always end up in a giant clusterfuck of "really?"s and "is this going well?"s and "should have would have could have"s


"Pick Up Artist" - and I hate the term
YOLO
aTnClouD
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Italy2428 Posts
July 04 2013 16:15 GMT
#4134
On July 04 2013 23:12 Disarmed wrote:
Thanks for all the post!

Just curious....what is PUA?

My brother actually read The Game, and though he's no superman he has quite the success. But like Cloud said, he read it more out of being curious about the psychology behind it all, like what women seek in men and so on.

the funny thing is that confidence seems to open any doors, but it's not like you can buy it in a supermarket.

@cloud again: you are soooo right with cutting all the drama shit, just take it easy and have fun. Im making progress but it used to always end up in a giant clusterfuck of "really?"s and "is this going well?"s and "should have would have could have"s

Never become a psychologist for a woman and never talk about your problems to other people unless they ask and are genuinely interested. They already have tons of guys who do that thinking it's a valid way to hit on them so they will discard you automatically. You should always try to keep the mood positive so you are linked to positive emotions. That's a technique called "anchoring", it's very simple, has lots of uses with everyone and you should read about it a bit.
http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g64/hunter692007/kruemelmonsteryn0.gif
B.I.G.
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
3251 Posts
July 05 2013 10:00 GMT
#4135
I said it before and I'll say it again: try more. Try a lot. I'm not saying you should go around as a desperate loser going around trying to hit on every girl you see, but it does really help if you give girls in your live an honest chance. You'll be surprised at how often a girl turns out to be awesome once you give her a chance.

And as for talking to girls: why don't you start with trying to talk to girls WITHOUT trying to get in her pants. Just general conversation about random bullshit. Most people honestly don't have a problem with making a random chat.

And if you do decide to go for it, keep in mind that it's not an exception to be completely shut down 9 out of 10 times...
Cynry
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
810 Posts
July 05 2013 10:04 GMT
#4136
And if you happen to screw yourself out of a "won" situation, figure out why. Just saying...





Fuck...
FractalsOnFire
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Australia1756 Posts
July 05 2013 10:07 GMT
#4137
On July 04 2013 20:30 sc2superfan101 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 04 2013 18:38 Disarmed wrote:
On July 04 2013 16:22 sc2superfan101 wrote:
Tried to get the hottest girl in my school to date me once. Her ex-boyfriend ended up punching me in the face and getting back together with her (that night lol). After that, I sorta stopped caring and the pathetic part is that I've probably spoken to like four chicks who were single in the last 5 years, and all four of them ended up dating someone else soon after and telling me that they were expecting me to "make a move" but got bored after I didn't.

Dating is a scam. Game is hacked yo.


thats the thing, seemingly..

Oh yeah, that's definitely the thing. They were all quite clear on that.

The problem is, I always end up thinking: "Can I see myself marrying this girl? Can I even see myself dating this girl?" and suddenly I stop caring whatsoever and kinda just let it fizzle out.

Like I said, shit is hacked.


"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" -Wayne Gretsky

I think you're just self handicapping. You don't want to put in the effort because you're afraid of failure, or that you will think 'the time spent is wasted'. Well you're wasting time right now not doing anything so its better to learn a lesson than to throw it away doing nothing.

Oh and RvB is right, the whole point of dating is to figure out whether you even want to be with them in the first place. You can't judge someone completely just by spending a few hours on a few dates (with the obvious exceptions of deal breakers and lack of compatibility/attraction).
Ubiquitousdichotomy
Profile Joined January 2013
247 Posts
July 07 2013 23:58 GMT
#4138
I am a white guy who has been dating an Afgan girl for the last two months. I am meeting her parents for the first time in a couple days. Any tips on how to not make myself look like an idiot in front of her family? I don't want to break any middle eastern customs and make myself look dumb.
Dark_Chill
Profile Joined May 2011
Canada3353 Posts
July 08 2013 00:14 GMT
#4139
On July 08 2013 08:58 Ubiquitousdichotomy wrote:
I am a white guy who has been dating an Afgan girl for the last two months. I am meeting her parents for the first time in a couple days. Any tips on how to not make myself look like an idiot in front of her family? I don't want to break any middle eastern customs and make myself look dumb.


You'll be way better off asking her if there's anything you should know. She'll be able to tell you if there's anything to worry about both culture-wise and stuff that's unique to her family. Don't feel bad about asking her, I'd gamble that she wouldn't take it badly that you're a bit worried about meeting her parents for the first time.
CUTE MAKES RIGHT
Zooper31
Profile Joined May 2009
United States5711 Posts
July 08 2013 01:46 GMT
#4140
Met girl through mutual friend. I'm 21, she's 18. We hang out couple times as a group and we spend a whole day together as a music festival. She's hanging on me all day (I'm loving it), 3 different people comment on us being cute together or want us to have our picture taken as a couple (paid photographers). Might've finally found myself a gf after being single for 3yrs.

Find out she's actually 16yr and was lying to me about her age because she didn't think I'd accept her being so young... Complete DAFUQ moment. No signs that this was coming and I asked how old she was, what am I supposed to ask for ID? She looks and acts like any 18yr I've ever met.

Don't know what to do, know what I should do, stop seeing her on the case of jailbait. Really don't want to and I'll definitely treat her a little different now but fuck, gdi. Really liked her :/
Asato ma sad gamaya, tamaso ma jyotir gamaya, mrtyor mamrtam gamaya
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