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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
You are 100% right. I’ll just change my approach to a more friendly one with no ulterior motives and see if it goes anywhere from there. Basically going full circle with JimRaynor’s advice.
I totally get the whole “gym predator” thing. Thats something to tread carefully around
Edit:
To add context to my post: I only started noticing the gym girl because I always felt her stares heavily on me. In fact she’s not the type I go for. But I guess eventually I couldn’t help but start to notice her attractiveness as well, it’s like I was spellcasted (for lack of a better word) or something.
I’ve been a regular at the gym for years and I never ask women out. Because I don’t expect to pick up dates there—I’m there to work out. I’ll try to keep this philosophy. You’re completely in the right and it helped set me straight again
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I believe there's also a middle way: if you've never talked to the said girl before, just try to establish relations where you can chat a bit here and there. The chemistry will pick up from there if there's any.
I guess my bottom line advice is: don't fixate on future scenarios, just hang out and go for enjoying the interactions.
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Ya just being friendly seems to be the general given advice.
So simple... how?? orz
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Mexico2170 Posts
Hey guys, I haven't been interested in dating for a while (and still aren't) but something fun/weird happened.
A random girl added me on facebook. She goes to the same college that I go to. I accepted her for whatever reason.
Thing is, 5 minutes later my best friend asks me if I know her, because she send him a friend request and saw we were friends in common. At this point I'm suspecting it is one of those people who like to invite randoms to their pyramid scheme or wants to sell us something.
A couple of days later she messages both of us, she says hi and where we're from. I tell my friend we should troll her by answering the exact same things, as I expected her to try to sell us something with the same pre-written messages. Thing is... she just starts chatting, and then she stopped answering to my friend. Then she starts sending voice messages to me and asking about my day. Her profile goes back to 2014...could she be real then?
She's now asking for my number.
So I want your advice. I don't really care much about the girl but I think this pandemic has been so boring I'm looking for something entertaining. So, I'll be entertaining myself by trying to know if she is legit and interested in me or if she has some other intentions. There's a couple of weird things about this:
Why would she add me and my friend at the same time?
Why would she wait a couple of days and message us at the same time?
Why would she add us and message us in the first place? Girls don't go around adding random people, on the contrary they thend to be kind of cautious.
She apparently lives close to me (although she doesn't know my adress).
Do you think she is real or a troll?
Is she trying to sell me something?
Or am I just simply out of touch and nowadays women just look for hookups by adding random people on facebook?
In any case, how do you verify someone is real anyway? this has made me think about the experience of women on the internet and being messaged/harassed by guys all the time. If I were a woman I don't think I would be wanting to meet people from the internet which could be kidnapers, thiefs, or worse, sales man. Which then again makes she messaging me all the more weird. So how should I go about understanding her intentions?
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United Kingdom13775 Posts
On March 26 2021 05:14 Emnjay808 wrote:
Ya just being friendly seems to be the general given advice.
So simple... how?? orz
Honestly if she's interested she will give you opportunities even if you're "bad" at approaching and such. Coming up and saying hello matters a lot more than how clever you are in your approach.
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On March 26 2021 06:29 [Phantom] wrote:
Hey guys, I haven't been interested in dating for a while (and still aren't) but something fun/weird happened.
A random girl added me on facebook. She goes to the same college that I go to. I accepted her for whatever reason.
Thing is, 5 minutes later my best friend asks me if I know her, because she send him a friend request and saw we were friends in common. At this point I'm suspecting it is one of those people who like to invite randoms to their pyramid scheme or wants to sell us something.
A couple of days later she messages both of us, she says hi and where we're from. I tell my friend we should troll her by answering the exact same things, as I expected her to try to sell us something with the same pre-written messages. Thing is... she just starts chatting, and then she stopped answering to my friend. Then she starts sending voice messages to me and asking about my day. Her profile goes back to 2014...could she be real then?
She's now asking for my number.
So I want your advice. I don't really care much about the girl but I think this pandemic has been so boring I'm looking for something entertaining. So, I'll be entertaining myself by trying to know if she is legit and interested in me or if she has some other intentions. There's a couple of weird things about this:
Why would she add me and my friend at the same time?
Why would she wait a couple of days and message us at the same time?
Why would she add us and message us in the first place? Girls don't go around adding random people, on the contrary they thend to be kind of cautious.
She apparently lives close to me (although she doesn't know my adress).
Do you think she is real or a troll?
Is she trying to sell me something?
Or am I just simply out of touch and nowadays women just look for hookups by adding random people on facebook?
In any case, how do you verify someone is real anyway? this has made me think about the experience of women on the internet and being messaged/harassed by guys all the time. If I were a woman I don't think I would be wanting to meet people from the internet which could be kidnapers, thiefs, or worse, sales man. Which then again makes she messaging me all the more weird. So how should I go about understanding her intentions?
well the most obvious thing to check for would be her profile activity. legitimate posts with legitimate comments from real people indicating proper social interaction vs no reactions to any posts/no posts/a bunch of random shared posts.
i would be extremely sus if her profile activity was similar to the latter. also what did she say when you presumably asked her why she added you completely out of the blue?
how well is she able to speak about the details of college life at your school?
i personally wouldnt arrange to meet up with her until you can verify that she is who she says she is. there are people out there who assume the identities of others and are able to be pretty convincing for a while.
i have a friend whos a celebrity in korea and his personal fb got hacked by a fan or some shit and i didnt know. i had a full conversation with this fan thinking it was him and it took me about 30mins before i realised something was weird. the hacker even impersonated my friends chatting style but eventually i caught on when the guy spoke about a relationship with a certain person in a manner which i knew was extremely unlike what my friend would say. it blew my mind to see that i was speaking to a hacker for 30 mins without realising. part of me was impressed with the guy but part of me was just ashamed to have not noticed and to have shared personal conversations with a complete random.
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On March 26 2021 05:14 Emnjay808 wrote:
Ya just being friendly seems to be the general given advice.
So simple... how?? orz
Say hello and ask her for advice. Maybe for a specific exercice or something else gym related where she is in her comfort zone. Go from there
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On March 26 2021 18:26 Harris1st wrote:Show nested quote +On March 26 2021 05:14 Emnjay808 wrote:
Ya just being friendly seems to be the general given advice.
So simple... how?? orz Say hello and ask her for advice. Maybe for a specific exercice or something else gym related where she is in her comfort zone. Go from there
I already asked said girl out. We’re just friends now lol
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On March 27 2021 17:38 Emnjay808 wrote:Show nested quote +On March 26 2021 18:26 Harris1st wrote:On March 26 2021 05:14 Emnjay808 wrote:
Ya just being friendly seems to be the general given advice.
So simple... how?? orz Say hello and ask her for advice. Maybe for a specific exercice or something else gym related where she is in her comfort zone. Go from there I already asked said girl out. We’re just friends now lol
Which is a good thing. Maybe she has some nice female friends, maybe one of those is single and at your gym, too 
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just wanted to pop in here and tell my story
I was a really shy, awkward and nerdy kid who spent way too much time playing computer games. as I'm sure many of you can relate.
I would never dare to ask a girl out on a date until I was well into my twenties. once i started dating, I ran into a lot of issues still. miscommunication, unrealistic expectations (on both sides really)... eventually, a sort of on-off - mostly off - relationship with a girl i met through a friend developed. I wanted something more serious with her, she always said that she did, too, but really she always ran away and disappeared for months when things were starting to move towards something more palpable.
In between episodes with this girl I would meet other women and try to make something happen with them, but it never did, for a variety of reasons.
A few years ago, I met a girl through uni, we hooked up quickly and had a sort of long-distance weekend relationship for a few months. it was amazing until it fell apart in a terrible way, which was mostly my fault.
For like 3 years after that, I didn't go on a single date or try anything other than drunkenly make out with random women in clubs when that was still a thing.
When Corona hit and we had our first lockdown here in Austria, pretty much exactly a year ago, I was out of a job, out of a social life like everybody was, and single. So I spent a huge amount of time on the internet, most notably in a live news feed one of our major newspapers set up for Corona news.
The comment section there is insanely active and an extensive community formed where we talk not only about Covid, but about anything. This community has been super supportive and really gave me a lot of confidence back. I started exchanging contacts with women in the news feed and texting with them. Eventually, I went on a few dates with one of them. She was really cool and gorgeous, but we both knew this wasn't gonna be anything serious, and neither of us wanted that either.
A week after my third date with that woman, I started texting with another one. I was really horny in that moment and I let her know. She felt the same and after some dirty talk we agreed to meet two days later with the explicit intent of having sex. we had never even seen a picture of each other; that was a little scary, but also exciting.
We met, went for a walk for about an hour and a half, were both extremely nervous, circled the block of her building like 5 times, went inside and had some pretty damn good sex. I stayed until late in the night, returned the next day after work and spent the night at her place.
A week later, we decided we wanted to be a couple. This is now a little over half a year ago and we just moved into our new flat together and are unbelievably happy and in love. She's the greatest thing that ever happened to me and neither of us expected this to be more than random sex.
i don't know how to end this. I suppose Covid has its good sides?
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Its nice to read success stories. Especially during COVID times.
Real happy for you, brother!
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Do you happen to have an account on WCReplays? ^__^
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On March 30 2021 19:42 Schelim wrote:
just wanted to pop in here and tell my story
I was a really shy, awkward and nerdy kid who spent way too much time playing computer games. as I'm sure many of you can relate.
I would never dare to ask a girl out on a date until I was well into my twenties. once i started dating, I ran into a lot of issues still. miscommunication, unrealistic expectations (on both sides really)... eventually, a sort of on-off - mostly off - relationship with a girl i met through a friend developed. I wanted something more serious with her, she always said that she did, too, but really she always ran away and disappeared for months when things were starting to move towards something more palpable.
In between episodes with this girl I would meet other women and try to make something happen with them, but it never did, for a variety of reasons.
A few years ago, I met a girl through uni, we hooked up quickly and had a sort of long-distance weekend relationship for a few months. it was amazing until it fell apart in a terrible way, which was mostly my fault.
For like 3 years after that, I didn't go on a single date or try anything other than drunkenly make out with random women in clubs when that was still a thing.
When Corona hit and we had our first lockdown here in Austria, pretty much exactly a year ago, I was out of a job, out of a social life like everybody was, and single. So I spent a huge amount of time on the internet, most notably in a live news feed one of our major newspapers set up for Corona news.
The comment section there is insanely active and an extensive community formed where we talk not only about Covid, but about anything. This community has been super supportive and really gave me a lot of confidence back. I started exchanging contacts with women in the news feed and texting with them. Eventually, I went on a few dates with one of them. She was really cool and gorgeous, but we both knew this wasn't gonna be anything serious, and neither of us wanted that either.
A week after my third date with that woman, I started texting with another one. I was really horny in that moment and I let her know. She felt the same and after some dirty talk we agreed to meet two days later with the explicit intent of having sex. we had never even seen a picture of each other; that was a little scary, but also exciting.
We met, went for a walk for about an hour and a half, were both extremely nervous, circled the block of her building like 5 times, went inside and had some pretty damn good sex. I stayed until late in the night, returned the next day after work and spent the night at her place.
A week later, we decided we wanted to be a couple. This is now a little over half a year ago and we just moved into our new flat together and are unbelievably happy and in love. She's the greatest thing that ever happened to me and neither of us expected this to be more than random sex.
i don't know how to end this. I suppose Covid has its good sides?
this is the stuff of a hollywood romance movie.
my covid love story starts with my gf having to move countries at the beginning of covid and after maintaining long distance for 5 months because international travel is completely banned in australia, we called it quits. fuck covid
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On March 31 2021 04:19 Emnjay808 wrote:
Its nice to read success stories. Especially during COVID times.
Real happy for you, brother!
cheers mate, I appreciate that
On March 31 2021 06:21 maybenexttime wrote:
Do you happen to have an account on WCReplays? ^__^
yes, i do, as a matter of fact. makes me wonder who you are over there :D
On March 31 2021 13:30 evilfatsh1t wrote:Show nested quote +On March 30 2021 19:42 Schelim wrote:
just wanted to pop in here and tell my story
I was a really shy, awkward and nerdy kid who spent way too much time playing computer games. as I'm sure many of you can relate.
I would never dare to ask a girl out on a date until I was well into my twenties. once i started dating, I ran into a lot of issues still. miscommunication, unrealistic expectations (on both sides really)... eventually, a sort of on-off - mostly off - relationship with a girl i met through a friend developed. I wanted something more serious with her, she always said that she did, too, but really she always ran away and disappeared for months when things were starting to move towards something more palpable.
In between episodes with this girl I would meet other women and try to make something happen with them, but it never did, for a variety of reasons.
A few years ago, I met a girl through uni, we hooked up quickly and had a sort of long-distance weekend relationship for a few months. it was amazing until it fell apart in a terrible way, which was mostly my fault.
For like 3 years after that, I didn't go on a single date or try anything other than drunkenly make out with random women in clubs when that was still a thing.
When Corona hit and we had our first lockdown here in Austria, pretty much exactly a year ago, I was out of a job, out of a social life like everybody was, and single. So I spent a huge amount of time on the internet, most notably in a live news feed one of our major newspapers set up for Corona news.
The comment section there is insanely active and an extensive community formed where we talk not only about Covid, but about anything. This community has been super supportive and really gave me a lot of confidence back. I started exchanging contacts with women in the news feed and texting with them. Eventually, I went on a few dates with one of them. She was really cool and gorgeous, but we both knew this wasn't gonna be anything serious, and neither of us wanted that either.
A week after my third date with that woman, I started texting with another one. I was really horny in that moment and I let her know. She felt the same and after some dirty talk we agreed to meet two days later with the explicit intent of having sex. we had never even seen a picture of each other; that was a little scary, but also exciting.
We met, went for a walk for about an hour and a half, were both extremely nervous, circled the block of her building like 5 times, went inside and had some pretty damn good sex. I stayed until late in the night, returned the next day after work and spent the night at her place.
A week later, we decided we wanted to be a couple. This is now a little over half a year ago and we just moved into our new flat together and are unbelievably happy and in love. She's the greatest thing that ever happened to me and neither of us expected this to be more than random sex.
i don't know how to end this. I suppose Covid has its good sides? this is the stuff of a hollywood romance movie. my covid love story starts with my gf having to move countries at the beginning of covid and after maintaining long distance for 5 months because international travel is completely banned in australia, we called it quits. fuck covid
the Hollywood romance movie would probably have a little less sex in public places, but other than that, yeah. we both sometimes comment on how our lives feel like a movie.
I'm very sad to hear that, mate. long distance must be really tough. keep your head up though. Covid is a bitch but it can't beat humanity.
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the clincher that gave me the inside track with my gf... early on we discovered we both love the cartoon comedy show "Dr. Katz". whodathunkit? This anecdote highlights one of the many reasons why these flow chart binary decision making "strats" are a waste of energy.
There is just no way you'd ever be able to project that my gf and I would connect on "Dr Katz".
In order to improve one's communication skills with the opposite sex I suggest improving one's communication skills in general. I found the following article to be quite informative.
https://getpocket.com/explore/item/a-simple-tip-for-staying-assertive-in-emotional-conversations?utm_source=pocket-newtab
TL;DR. repeat the concluding sentence of the other person. Then add 'yes and" then include your perspective. Do not use "yes but" or any kind of connecting phrase that turns each perspective into a combative/competing view. Let them sit together via "yes, and". This technique also requires that you do not back down. YOu get your perspective in there.
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On March 31 2021 18:02 Schelim wrote:Show nested quote +On March 31 2021 06:21 maybenexttime wrote:
Do you happen to have an account on WCReplays? ^__^ yes, i do, as a matter of fact. makes me wonder who you are over there :D
I'm fiRe.power. ^__^
Is the site dead, by the way? I can't access neither the main page nor the forum. Do we have a Discord server?
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On April 01 2021 22:04 maybenexttime wrote:Show nested quote +On March 31 2021 18:02 Schelim wrote:On March 31 2021 06:21 maybenexttime wrote:
Do you happen to have an account on WCReplays? ^__^ yes, i do, as a matter of fact. makes me wonder who you are over there :D I'm fiRe.power. ^__^ Is the site dead, by the way? I can't access neither the main page or the forum. Do we have a Discord server?
i can't access it either. i believe there is a Discord, but i've never used it and know nothing about it...
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I went Dionysus in 2020 and now I’m volcel. It’s amazing the bad things that promiscuity does to your bank account.
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On March 26 2021 18:11 evilfatsh1t wrote:Show nested quote +On March 26 2021 06:29 [Phantom] wrote:
Hey guys, I haven't been interested in dating for a while (and still aren't) but something fun/weird happened.
A random girl added me on facebook. She goes to the same college that I go to. I accepted her for whatever reason.
Thing is, 5 minutes later my best friend asks me if I know her, because she send him a friend request and saw we were friends in common. At this point I'm suspecting it is one of those people who like to invite randoms to their pyramid scheme or wants to sell us something.
A couple of days later she messages both of us, she says hi and where we're from. I tell my friend we should troll her by answering the exact same things, as I expected her to try to sell us something with the same pre-written messages. Thing is... she just starts chatting, and then she stopped answering to my friend. Then she starts sending voice messages to me and asking about my day. Her profile goes back to 2014...could she be real then?
She's now asking for my number.
So I want your advice. I don't really care much about the girl but I think this pandemic has been so boring I'm looking for something entertaining. So, I'll be entertaining myself by trying to know if she is legit and interested in me or if she has some other intentions. There's a couple of weird things about this:
Why would she add me and my friend at the same time?
Why would she wait a couple of days and message us at the same time?
Why would she add us and message us in the first place? Girls don't go around adding random people, on the contrary they thend to be kind of cautious.
She apparently lives close to me (although she doesn't know my adress).
Do you think she is real or a troll?
Is she trying to sell me something?
Or am I just simply out of touch and nowadays women just look for hookups by adding random people on facebook?
In any case, how do you verify someone is real anyway? this has made me think about the experience of women on the internet and being messaged/harassed by guys all the time. If I were a woman I don't think I would be wanting to meet people from the internet which could be kidnapers, thiefs, or worse, sales man. Which then again makes she messaging me all the more weird. So how should I go about understanding her intentions?
well the most obvious thing to check for would be her profile activity. legitimate posts with legitimate comments from real people indicating proper social interaction vs no reactions to any posts/no posts/a bunch of random shared posts. i would be extremely sus if her profile activity was similar to the latter. also what did she say when you presumably asked her why she added you completely out of the blue? how well is she able to speak about the details of college life at your school? i personally wouldnt arrange to meet up with her until you can verify that she is who she says she is. there are people out there who assume the identities of others and are able to be pretty convincing for a while. i have a friend whos a celebrity in korea and his personal fb got hacked by a fan or some shit and i didnt know. i had a full conversation with this fan thinking it was him and it took me about 30mins before i realised something was weird. the hacker even impersonated my friends chatting style but eventually i caught on when the guy spoke about a relationship with a certain person in a manner which i knew was extremely unlike what my friend would say. it blew my mind to see that i was speaking to a hacker for 30 mins without realising. part of me was impressed with the guy but part of me was just ashamed to have not noticed and to have shared personal conversations with a complete random.
This is way too many words for a really simple situation, if you’re worried she’s a catfish ask her to do something unique in a picture (like hold up x fingers, touch her nose in a pic, whatever) or ask to FaceTime. If she finds that weird just say there’s a shit ton of catfish out there nowadays and u got burned before. If they are resistant it’s 100% fake I guarantee it .
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EPT
