EPTDating: How's your luck? - Page 1064
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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Emnjay808
United States10609 Posts
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WombaT
Northern Ireland17867 Posts
On February 14 2021 17:28 Emnjay808 wrote: i swear to god if i go gym tomorrow and all i see are couples there, im gonna just fucking leave Hey at least you have gyms open haha, but yeah feel you there man! | ||
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WombaT
Northern Ireland17867 Posts
On February 08 2021 00:13 Uldridge wrote: Why lay off the woman thing, just have the mentality you had in your previous paragraph, meeting women should be seen as the additional bonus. If it works out, great, it it doesn't, move on. It's never a bad thing to have cool people in your life (even if it's just briefly), who are accdidentally also from the other sex, so you can have some of the good old attraction spicing up life. The mentality remains, in theory. Plenty of time for growth just sans the social aspect. Go back to the period slightly before Covid I was pondering options, life wasn’t going as I wanted and I really wanted a change of career. Also a change of just environment and routine as well, I took the plunge to go back to school, which has really ruined my finances incidentally. Also I’ve had horrendous mental health issues in the past. The theory was that software engineering is kinda neat, I like learning things and there’d be some pot of gold at the end of that rainbow. Plus having the framework of school, some structure would be good for me, and I’d throw myself into societies and clubs and meet new people. Stuff I didn’t do in my first degree, not for being anti-social but I’d sort of made my friends that persist to this day. I was basically correct on all of my reasoning as per the structure, learning new things etc being great for my mentality. Obviously I hadn’t factored in a pandemic for the other stuff! But I’m grinding away and picking up my old hobbies like music so that’s all cool. I mean given our Covid restrictions I’m barely even seeing good friends these days so not quite the time to spread my wings so to speak. But plenty of time to do more insular things and sure I’ll put myself out there when it’s safe to do so | ||
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Emnjay808
United States10609 Posts
I’m thinking just a simple “hi what’s ur name” to start things off? I’ve been out of the game for so long I forgot how to talk to new people lol | ||
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JimmiC
Canada19930 Posts
When I was doing that type of thing I found the intro part pretty Ok, I was never good at ending the convo, that part often felt awkward, and I still feel like that on the phone just in general! ;(  | ||
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Harris1st
Germany5093 Posts
On March 13 2021 04:34 Emnjay808 wrote: Anyone got simple tips for breaking the ice with a girl at the gym? I wanna progress it past the point of eye contact and smiling(with ur eyes). Right now it’s kinda difficult since masks are mandated and social distancing(to a point) are still a thing. I’m thinking just a simple “hi what’s ur name” to start things off? I’ve been out of the game for so long I forgot how to talk to new people lol Uff that's a hard one. I know that lots of girls look like they want to flirt in the gym, but very few actually do in my experience. If you sure this girl is down for a flirt, I would definitely NOT say anything cheesy. I think pretty girls in gyms get way too much stares and sleazy comments. Don't be that guy ^^ Perhaps ask her for advice on how to do a special exercise or whatnot that you know she knows about? | ||
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Emnjay808
United States10609 Posts
I was gonna engage her outside of the gym when it closes... But it would be 10pm--and trying to hit on a girl in a dark parking lot late at night was something I realized I shouldnt do lol Anyways Ill try to say hi the next time I see her. The last time she was occupied with a friend, and I noticed she seemed to be more receptive when shes alone. | ||
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JimmyJRaynor
Canada14659 Posts
My fun opener I've been using is "its clear and obvious even with a mask on that you are a beautiful woman". I used that one to get an extra chicken finger from Church's Chicken during their 3 Chicken Fingers and Salad for $5.99 day. So I got 4 chicken fingers instead of 3.  Health conscious women are really into Keto these days. There are a lot of women who have become super experts in nutrition and physiology. Talk human physiology. Talk work out injuries... i dunno anything man.. Just relax and be loose. Don't try to turn this into rocket science man. Turn it into a Jerry Seinfeld skit. " what the hell were they doing with a car on the god damn moon ? " | ||
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Emnjay808
United States10609 Posts
It really is that simple, ugh... | ||
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JimmyJRaynor
Canada14659 Posts
On March 17 2021 07:55 Emnjay808 wrote: Just swing, don’t think. It really is that simple, ugh... experiment and be playful. right now, according to your posts you are 'in your own head' ... a lot. Start by being generally friendly and playful with everyone. Build from there. | ||
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Emnjay808
United States10609 Posts
Edit: I will heed JimmyRaynor’s advice and be more open and friendly with everyone. I kinda overthunk it with this girl and my expectations aren’t lining up with reality | ||
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JimmyJRaynor
Canada14659 Posts
On March 17 2021 17:09 Emnjay808 wrote: Sigh, failed again today Edit: I will heed JimmyRaynor’s advice and be more open and friendly with everyone. I kinda overthunk it with this girl and my expectations aren’t lining up with reality Hey man, I used to overthink things. It happens man.. we're all human... its very difficult to strike the balance between a bit of thinking and silliness.. and overthinking. Please , forgive yourself sir. And move forward. Work on your relationship building skills in all facets of your life. Doing this will improve your professional life, hobby life, family life, and your romantic love life. Also, please try to alter your perspective on whatever happened. Rather than some kind of "ultimate failure". Try to view it as a single step in a journey. Fred VanVleet had a giant extended family and family party the night he expected to be drafted by an NBA team. His name was never announced. He didn't get drafted by any team. His father was murdered when he was 5. He is only 6 feet tall. The guy absorbed one soul crushing defeat after another. And yet, he possesses bullet proof confidence. | ||
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Emnjay808
United States10609 Posts
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niteReloaded
Croatia5277 Posts
On March 13 2021 04:34 Emnjay808 wrote: Anyone got simple tips for breaking the ice with a girl at the gym? I wanna progress it past the point of eye contact and smiling(with ur eyes). Right now it’s kinda difficult since masks are mandated and social distancing(to a point) are still a thing. I’m thinking just a simple “hi what’s ur name” to start things off? I’ve been out of the game for so long I forgot how to talk to new people lol General guidelines I've learned about talking to people: If you don't know a person, initiating a conversation by talking about something in your shared environment is the smoothest way to start. For example, let's say there's a particularly loud housefly in your gym that day, it's very, very easy and non-threatening to say something like "how about that fly, huh?" And from her answer, you can gauge a lot about how she sees you. Is she smiling? Laughing? Replying just enough not to be rude? Did her face become more closed off after you said it, or more open? If you open the convo by asking about how she is doing, or even her name, it's still ok, but some % of people will already find that a bit rushed for someone they don't know at all. But, if she likes you from before, this may be welcome. The same logic applies IMO to even more assertive (aggresive?) openers - if the woman likes you, she will may like you even more if you are direct and cutting to the chase. But if you aren't confident about reading other people's emotions yet, then maybe better to 'stick to the build order' and comment on something from the environment, get the feedback and go from there. | ||
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Emnjay808
United States10609 Posts
on to the next | ||
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puppykiller
United States3124 Posts
On March 22 2021 12:08 Emnjay808 wrote: i asked her out. shes involved with somebody. on to the next Atleast your making moves Anyone got thoughts on hitting on a co-worker? There's a cute girl at the place I'm training for the next few months. Trying to figure out how to show interest without causing anyone to have an issue. | ||
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evilfatsh1t
Australia7859 Posts
On March 24 2021 11:54 puppykiller wrote: Atleast your making moves Anyone got thoughts on hitting on a co-worker? There's a cute girl at the place I'm training for the next few months. Trying to figure out how to show interest without causing anyone to have an issue. dont shit where you eat. | ||
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LegalLord
United Kingdom13756 Posts
On March 24 2021 11:54 puppykiller wrote: Atleast your making moves Anyone got thoughts on hitting on a co-worker? There's a cute girl at the place I'm training for the next few months. Trying to figure out how to show interest without causing anyone to have an issue. Talk and be friendly, tread with care, and leave yourself enough room to bow out from the attempt gracefully if it's not working. If you can't manage that, the bit about comparing dating to defecation is a good reductionist take to live by. In hindsight, the only times an attempt to pursue a coworker went badly for me is if I moved too aggressively or couldn't let things go gracefully. Developing friendly relations with female coworkers is a good thing in and of itself even if it never works out romantically. | ||
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Emnjay808
United States10609 Posts
My 2cents. Ya just dont shit where u eat or w/e that idiom means Update: Saw gym girl again and were at least on talking terms now, as friends. So its at least nice I can form a genuine friendship while also respecting her current status. Me and my bestfriend have been texting a lot tonight and hes trying to hype me up for another girl to ask out. I previously asked out the other girl with a note card, and I dont wanna do that again. I just feel like the charm wont be the same if it actually works out. anyways.... My friend said to also not build a reputation at the gym lol. but i digress.. anyways Im looking to ask a new girl out at the gym. Im thinking I should wait a while. But my friend just advices me to make sure the previous girl doesnt see it happen. sorry this is horribly formated. my minds going 100mph | ||
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Simberto
Germany10384 Posts
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