EPTDating: How's your luck? - Page 1063
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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farvacola
United States18832 Posts
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Simberto
Germany11554 Posts
It seems like she might not be that interested, but she also didn't totally tell you to fuck off. So a possibility is that she could just have a lot of stuff going on and not a lot of free times, and she doesn't want a relationship to feel like another duty she needs to fit into her busy schedule. Still not the best of setups, but not a total no, either. One thing to consider is keeping up contact in the way you currently do, via text or something else which enables her to respond on her schedule. Then see how she reacts. Maybe she proposes something of her own accord, maybe she is enthusiastic about the texting. Those would be good signs. Or she is clearly unenthusiastic, barely answers, only answers with one-syllable text and so forth. That would be a bad sign. | ||
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mahrgell
Germany3943 Posts
Just step back, tell her okay, if she needs some private time, it is difficult to gauge for you how much that will be, and that she should just message you back, once she feels like it. And once you pick up her rhythm you can take a bit more initiative again. You will quickly notice what she is up to. Either she simply didn't like your (from her perspective) forced duty of permanent communication, but will relax once she holds everything in her own hands... Or she simply lost interest and you won't hear from her again. And yes, there is the 3rd possibility of her not liking your approach, but lacking the initiative to guide you two along her desired way, but in that case bad luck for her, because her expecting you to exactly hit her sweet spot is asking a bit too much  | ||
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dmnum
Brazil6910 Posts
@Simberto we actually talked about how we want to see each other again(last Friday) and she's explicitly said she's interested and wants a second date. My confusion is arising from the fact that the first few dates are usually scheduled closely and we'll have a 20-day hiatus between the first and second date(should it happen, ofc). Since we were texting a LOT and everyday up until today without any negative signs coming from her(no one word answers or anything like that), I was afraid of coming off as suddenly disinterested should I scale back on contact. Then she said the thing about things moving a bit too fast, I added that with the fact that she doesn't seem too good at speaking up about what she wants and spiraled. But I'll hold off and let her initiate the conversations if she wants to. Gives me time to detach a bit too and talk to some other girls so I stop being so invested. Thanks, guys. | ||
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LegalLord
United Kingdom13775 Posts
"Acting disinterested" or any similar mindgames aren't going to get you anywhere. Either show interest in a straightforward but respectful way, or cut your losses and walk away. Either she will show interest or she won't, and there's really not much you can do that will have any impact on that. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
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JimmyJRaynor
Canada16767 Posts
On August 25 2020 07:48 LegalLord wrote: Nothing that you did sounds like the wrong thing to do; it just sounds like she isn't interested right now. Either move on or "constant casual contact" are reasonable ways to proceed. More likely than not it's not going anywhere, but it's also possible that there's something else. "Acting disinterested" or any similar mindgames aren't going to get you anywhere. Either show interest in a straightforward but respectful way, or cut your losses and walk away. Either she will show interest or she won't, and there's really not much you can do that will have any impact on that. This entire chain of reasoning sounds 100% plausible. That said, putting this much thought into a person one hardly knows.feels like a waste of energy to me. | ||
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vtv.Teacher
Thailand39 Posts
He's a life coach that has a channel there with over 1000 videos. I personally find him quite helpful in situations like the one you're in. | ||
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puppykiller
United States3130 Posts
On October 23 2020 13:13 vtv.Teacher wrote: Have you ever heard of Corey Wayne on Youtube? He's a life coach that has a channel there with over 1000 videos. I personally find him quite helpful in situations like the one you're in. Well that's a name I haven't seen in a long time. I figured all your advice would be for those batting for the other team :p | ||
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dmnum
Brazil6910 Posts
On October 23 2020 10:06 JimmyJRaynor wrote: This entire chain of reasoning sounds 100% plausible. That said, putting this much thought into a person one hardly knows.feels like a waste of energy to me. It's unusual, but I'm kind of a hopeless romantic so I'm used to it. - Anyway, we decided to be friends(me and girl 1). In the meantime I started going out with this other girl(girl 2) and things are going pretty well. Once I relaxed, things started get better with girl 1, to the point where she basically asked me to go out again. However, girl 2 and I decided to be exclusive the weekend prior to my second "date" with girl 1. Since she and I had decided to be friends, I saw no harm in getting a few drinks with her. Long story short she was giving me some pretty strong hints and I had to tell her I was seeing someone else and it was getting serious. Went home, we took a few days without talking and had another conversation where we agreed to be friends(this time, I hope, for real). At the end of the day, I didn't do anything wrong. Turns out during her last relationship the guy was pushy as hell(calling during work hours and getting upset when she couldn't talk, that kind of stuff) and since we were talking a lot every day, she got scared of falling into the same kind of relationship. I kind of feel like she's still interested, but she's not looking for anything serious and for the first time in 10 years or so I'm in the position to have a relationship without a deadline, so it's better not to force it. Plus, I'm way better synched with girl 2. No fights so far and I never feel like I'm being needy with her. She lives kind of far away too, which allows me to work during the week and spending the weekends with her. | ||
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vtv.Teacher
Thailand39 Posts
On October 24 2020 00:48 puppykiller wrote: Well that's a name I haven't seen in a long time. I figured all your advice would be for those batting for the other team :p Haha! Max!! How have you been? long time no see. Glad to see you're still around =) | ||
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plasmidghost
Belgium16168 Posts
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alangrin55
4 Posts
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SickeL
110 Posts
On October 26 2020 14:13 plasmidghost wrote: My girlfriend is a longtime Brood War fan and we bonded over our shared experiences of staying up late to watch MSL and OSL matches. I showed her my CJ Entus jacket and she was so excited! I can't wait to play some with her and shake off years of rust lol congrats man that's the kind of bond that makes a solid relationship | ||
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JimmyJRaynor
Canada16767 Posts
On October 26 2020 14:13 plasmidghost wrote: My girlfriend is a longtime Brood War fan and we bonded over our shared experiences of staying up late to watch MSL and OSL matches. I showed her my CJ Entus jacket and she was so excited! I can't wait to play some with her and shake off years of rust lol i've been playing SC2 2v2s with my gf for 8 years. it is great fun. On occasion we end up yelling and screaming at each other during the close games. "WE WILL DIE ON THAT LEDGE! ! !" | ||
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Stuate3
1 Post
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JoeCool
Germany2520 Posts
A coworker established contact between me and a girl from his hometown (300 km away). I only saw one picture of her face and didn't know anything about her excep,t that she's been single for quite somet time now and met a lot of douches in the past, but decided to give it a shot. I called her, we talked a bit and then I suggest we should meet since I was going to visit a riend of mine who didn't live far from her. The date went pretty well from my perspective, we met halfway between my friends and her place and went for a two hour walk at a sea. It was interesting because you've usually something mutual to talk about like the place you met etc. but this time, since we didn't meet before, it was like we started at 0. I took my time after the date to decide whether I'd be interested to see her again (due to the distance) and gave her a short call two days later to tell her that I had fun and would like to meet again (obviously when I'm around, not going to drive 300km for a date). She told me that ejoyed spending time with me as well, and would also like to meet again. So I set a date for the 6th of February (Superbowl weekend, that's when I'll be at my friends place near her again) to which she agreed immediately, without having set any particular activies yet (Covid regulations, you know...). Something that's new for me is that she's kinda reluctant (?). Usually when I'm dating, women tend to send dozens of texts especially when we first meet, but this time it's like she's wating for me to make a move. But since I'm not really a texter and as long as she's up for dates I won't complain. I'll keep my feet still until before our next date. Unfortunately since Covid and Politics aren't exatly easy on meeting & dating I have a feeling that the date might not take place as planned. New restrictions coming up and such. | ||
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WombaT
Northern Ireland25652 Posts
Managed to strike up and have a relationship in this Covid era, which lasted a decent chunk of time for me but kinda went south mystifyingly fast. Figure I’ll lay off the woman thing until things get vaguely back to normal. | ||
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StanislaZ
United States2 Posts
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Uldridge
Belgium4850 Posts
On January 19 2021 13:05 WombaT wrote: Back to square one for me I guess. My original plan for this year was a more general refresh of my life, get out of bad habits and really throw myself into new things. Was going back to school anyway so may as well make some wholesale changes. With that my confidence and general happiness would be rebuilt, and meeting women would be an additional bonus, though not the goal! Managed to strike up and have a relationship in this Covid era, which lasted a decent chunk of time for me but kinda went south mystifyingly fast. Figure I’ll lay off the woman thing until things get vaguely back to normal. Why lay off the woman thing, just have the mentality you had in your previous paragraph, meeting women should be seen as the additional bonus. If it works out, great, it it doesn't, move on. It's never a bad thing to have cool people in your life (even if it's just briefly), who are accdidentally also from the other sex, so you can have some of the good old attraction spicing up life. | ||
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