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On September 30 2011 02:22 CCitrus wrote:
You can only understand this when you meet the right person. It all makes sense then. (I was married 9 months ago, age 21).
You'll lose some gaming time, especially initially, but you'll get a bunch back as you both learn how to be together while not focusing entirely on your partner. Marriage is wonderful, but it's about compromise; you'll have to come to terms with not gaming whenever you want. Maybe you'll have to get in 1.5 hr a day instead of 7 hr twice a week.
Kids? I don't know about that. They still frighten me a little.
You know what I've found more restrictive on gaming than marriage? A full-time job. 40+ hr a week is a long time.
Ha no doubt, especially if your partner is working one as well. If both are working typical 9-5s or something similar it is still tough. At one time I was working two full-time jobs...roughly. while she was looking for work. (Working 11pm-7am MWF and worked 9am-5pm 7 days a week) So somedays of the week it was 11-7 (sleep ~1hr) 9am-5pm, from 5pm-8pm spend time with my wife, then sleep until my other job started. It was hectic.
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I've been married for about a year now, and I must say things are great now. In the beginning though it took some adjustments, I had to find the right times to play and had to learn when. My wife is very understanding and gets that this is my hobby and supports it, but realize that wives have have some stupid hobbies that you may hate but if they support you returning the favor goes a long way. I can't tell you how many times I've had to go swing dancing or play softball on a sunday afternoon... But!!! She remembers this when some of my mates come over on a weekend to watch MLG on the big screen and eat pizza.
In short, its all about compromise you have to find the balance that's right for you and her, but once you find it marriage is awesome.
Maybe you'll get lucky like I did as well, my Wife doesn't like children and neither do I so I don't have to worry about some mutant ruining my day. (I don't like kids, and if you have them I'm happy for you! They're just not for me <3)
Enjoy and congrats!
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On September 30 2011 02:21 TheSasquatch wrote:
I am 24 and coming up on my 4 year Anniversary with my wife. She knows that I like to game and I have had some issues with it in the past. For example
I wake up early by chance so I play some StarCraft while she is still asleep so I don't run into the time we are awake together. When she gets up I always stop playing if not before. If she wakes up and sees that I am playing I get "Have you been playing games all morning?" With a tone of accusation. Her complaints are that I could have been doing something like cleaning etc. I find it best not to argue with anyone as soon as they wake up, but my thoughts are "You have been sleeping all morning instead of doing anything." Countless times I have woken her up with breakfast instead of playing.
If it isn't in morning I try to catch a time where she is enjoying a hobby of hers, and play a few games while trying to makes plans for something to do together. I think what is important, even though my wife holds so many double standards its crazy, is to show the person you love that you are always thinking of them.
This post scares me so much :x
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If you are getting married Saturday and just now thinking about this question, you may want to rethink this.
1) you are 21..I got married at 19, trust me it was the dumbest decision of my life. I didn't really know who I was until my mid 20s..Most others don't either. The difference between a person who is 21 and 2 5 is huge.
2) If she isn't a gamer you need to ask two Extremely important questions; 1) Is she indifferent? 2) or is she completely opposed and thinks games are for children? If she has any form of a negative opinion, you are either going to be forced to give it up, or it Will end your marriage. Women change once they have the ring on and any who says they don't are liars or don't know what they are talking about. If she has a negative perception about gaming, she will attempt to stop you. If you resist it will become a point of strife.
Honestly, this subject should of been one of the first things to come up. If you share vastly different hobbies, chances are good you aren't nearly as compatible as you think you are. There is a reason why the divorce rate is so high.
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I just turned 27 and married my girlfriend of 7 years this past May. So to say the least, she knows that I like to play games and supports me because she knows it's something I enjoy. However, even though she is supportive, it works out mostly because I try to maintain a good balance.
Some days I'll get home from work, have dinner with her, and then play SC2 for a few hours while she reads or watches TV or something. The next day, I'll go rent a movie so that after dinner, I'm hanging out with her for the night and I don't play at all (plus I love to spend time with her... I did marry her after all!).
The fact that I do this on my own means she doesn't have to worry about it and I don't have to hear her ever complain. My advice to you is to be open and honest about your hobbies, like SC, so that she knows what she's getting into. In the end she'll respect you for it, otherwise she may not be the one for you if you think it's that important and she doesn't.
Another thing that can be fun is getting her involved in gaming. My wife doesn't care much for SC2, probably because she doesn't understand details beyond the basics of an RTS, but I'll play Black Ops on xbox live every now and then and she got into it. She doesn't play games at all, so the fact that I got her involved actually made it even better. She loves to snipe! It's cute as hell too to watch her, but she's actually improved quite a bit!
TL;DR: Honesty is key! If it's meant to be then you guys will work it out. GL to you and your fiance!
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do you already live with her? if so, why would marriage change your gaming habits?
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I got married a year ago when I was 21. For me, it's just been about having less time to play. Having a full time job and another person you share a life with just doesn't leave more than 2 hrs./day or so to play. It's okay though, as someone in love, you know the benefits are better than anything else in this world.
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You are 21? Isn´t that a little too young to get married? I hope you will not regret doing it already.
But if you really do love each other, enough to get married, then you should be able to respect each others hobbies/interests. It shouldn´t matter too much.
I got lot's of these answers.
No, no and no! I am not 'too young'. In order to say that you would need to define first what is 'too young'? You're physicial age has just no meaning in the stage where you are in life. Some people grow very very quickly while other take more time to learn.
So many people just think about the age while it is irrelevant. We know we past the initial 'passion' stage. Actually the reason that got me decided to get married is the following: Why would I waste my early 20's with one girl when I could go out their and boost my sexual experience? It is not like I not attractive, many girls during those 3 years showed interest in me. I am getting married because I am making the choice to live with this girl (hopefully) for the rest of my life. If I did not firmly beleive this, I would leave her and start going out and have fun :-)
Another information that might be usefull she is 24 (3 years older then me).
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On September 30 2011 02:40 LarJarsE wrote:
do you already live with her? if so, why would marriage change your gaming habits?
No I lived with my parents while she is in appartement already. I will move in the 1st of October (is this how you say a date in english?)
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On September 30 2011 02:45 Datz2Ez wrote:Show nested quote +You are 21? Isn´t that a little too young to get married? I hope you will not regret doing it already.
But if you really do love each other, enough to get married, then you should be able to respect each others hobbies/interests. It shouldn´t matter too much. I got lot's of these answers. No, no and no! I am not 'too young'. In order to say that you would need to define first what is 'too young'? You're physicial age has just no meaning in the stage where you are in life. Some people grow very very quickly while other take more time to learn. So many people just think about the age while it is irrelevant. We know we past the initial 'passion' stage. Actually the reason that got me decided to get married is the following: Why would I waste my early 20's with one girl when I could go out their and boost my sexual experience? It is not like I not attractive, many girls during those 3 years showed interest in me. I am getting married because I am making the choice to live with this girl (hopefully) for the rest of my life. If I did not firmly beleive this, I would leave her and start going out and have fun :-) Another information that might be usefull she is 24 (3 years older then me).
Her opinion on gaming is still the most important piece of information you could give us.
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On September 30 2011 02:46 Datz2Ez wrote:Show nested quote +On September 30 2011 02:40 LarJarsE wrote:
do you already live with her? if so, why would marriage change your gaming habits? No I lived with my parents while she is in appartement already. I will move in the 1st of October (is this how you say a date in english?)
She might not have an idea of how much you time you spend gaming, then, which could be a rude awakening for her. Does she have an idea how much time you spend gaming when you aren't together?
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On September 30 2011 02:38 Hawke5811 wrote:
I just turned 27 and married my girlfriend of 7 years this past May. So to say the least, she knows that I like to play games and supports me because she knows it's something I enjoy. However, even though she is supportive, it works out mostly because I try to maintain a good balance.
Some days I'll get home from work, have dinner with her, and then play SC2 for a few hours while she reads or watches TV or something. The next day, I'll go rent a movie so that after dinner, I'm hanging out with her for the night and I don't play at all (plus I love to spend time with her... I did marry her after all!).
The fact that I do this on my own means she doesn't have to worry about it and I don't have to hear her ever complain. My advice to you is to be open and honest about your hobbies, like SC, so that she knows what she's getting into. In the end she'll respect you for it, otherwise she may not be the one for you if you think it's that important and she doesn't.
Another thing that can be fun is getting her involved in gaming. My wife doesn't care much for SC2, probably because she doesn't understand details beyond the basics of an RTS, but I'll play Black Ops on xbox live every now and then and she got into it. She doesn't play games at all, so the fact that I got her involved actually made it even better. She loves to snipe! It's cute as hell too to watch her, but she's actually improved quite a bit!
TL;DR: Honesty is key! If it's meant to be then you guys will work it out. GL to you and your fiance!
Haha, thanks for you're post. I will take you're advice on doing things on my own, this cannot hurt the relationship anyway 
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On September 30 2011 02:49 bonifaceviii wrote:Show nested quote +On September 30 2011 02:46 Datz2Ez wrote:On September 30 2011 02:40 LarJarsE wrote:
do you already live with her? if so, why would marriage change your gaming habits? No I lived with my parents while she is in appartement already. I will move in the 1st of October (is this how you say a date in english?) She might not have an idea of how much you time you spend gaming, then, which could be a rude awakening for her. Does she have an idea how much time you spend gaming when you aren't together?
Yes, maybe not the amount of hour, but she know's that for me, there is nothing like a day playing games
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On September 30 2011 02:46 Datz2Ez wrote:Show nested quote +On September 30 2011 02:40 LarJarsE wrote:
do you already live with her? if so, why would marriage change your gaming habits? No I lived with my parents while she is in appartement already. I will move in the 1st of October (is this how you say a date in english?)
Oooh, so you haven't spent any time living together, yet? That going to be rough.
I think this is why people always say "people change after marriage". I believe that's wrong. People change when they're all up in each other's grill every free minute of the day, when they're used to only seeing each other on their own time, and simply hope that the relationship they've built outside their private space will carry over into it. I think that fails a lot of the time.
I don't know if she would take offense to this or not, but maybe you want to suggest the idea of initially sleeping in separate rooms, so that you keep that private space. That's what my girlfriend and I did when we moved in together, and I think it was a fantastic decision. It allowed us to keep our private space initially, and over time, adjust to being around each other all the time. For the last couple years we've been inseparable and can easily tolerate each other's constant presence at all hours of the day. 1 month of marriage and so far, we're not seeing any change in our behaviour (believe me, we're watching it).
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On September 30 2011 02:54 Bibdy wrote:
I don't know if she would take offense to this or not, but maybe you want to suggest the idea of initially sleeping in separate rooms, so that you keep that private space. That's what my girlfriend and I did when we moved in together, and I think it was a fantastic decision. It allowed us to keep our private space initially, and over time, adjust to being around each other all the time. For the last couple years we've been inseparable and can easily tolerate each other's constant presence at all hours of the day. 1 month of marriage and so far, we're not seeing any change in our behaviour (believe me, we're watching it).
Nah, go all in. When I moved in with my fiancee (getting married in April) we shared a bed from the get-go and it was a trial by fire. If you're up in each other's grills as soon as you move in the more short-term pain there will be for the long-term comfort.
Save separate rooms for when you're older and your kids move out.
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I can say from experience... stuff will change, and your amount of gaming time is going to shrink. But if you want to be with this person forever that really should not be a problem, her time for whatever hobbies she may have will go down as well.
But to be honest, if you're going to marry someone the last question you should be asking is "ZOMGZ CAN I STILL PLAY VIDEO GAMES?!"
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On September 30 2011 02:59 bonifaceviii wrote:Show nested quote +On September 30 2011 02:54 Bibdy wrote:
I don't know if she would take offense to this or not, but maybe you want to suggest the idea of initially sleeping in separate rooms, so that you keep that private space. That's what my girlfriend and I did when we moved in together, and I think it was a fantastic decision. It allowed us to keep our private space initially, and over time, adjust to being around each other all the time. For the last couple years we've been inseparable and can easily tolerate each other's constant presence at all hours of the day. 1 month of marriage and so far, we're not seeing any change in our behaviour (believe me, we're watching it). Nah, go all in. When I moved in with my fiancee (getting married in April) we shared a bed from the get-go and it was a trial by fire. If you're up in each other's grills as soon as you move in the more short-term pain there will be for the long-term comfort. Save separate rooms for when you're older and your kids move out.
Hahaha guys :-) funny suggestion. No I am in the prime of my sexual abilities  I don't see my self sleeping in another room (and we don't even have one anyway) also my futur-wife would never want this.
We can't wait to share that first night together ♥
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Can't speak from personal experience but the group of people I game with regularly are mostly married and seem (obviously its hard to fully judge from the other side of a computer) to be successful, even the ones who's spouse's don't game themselves.
As others have already mentioned you will obviously have to make lots of compromises meaning you might not be able to stay up as late, or go to that latest midnight release, or participate in that online tournament you were waiting for; but so long as you keep your priorities straight you should be able to keep a balanced gaming lifestyle while married.
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The big change for me when I got married was I (slowly) quit WoW. I don't regret that one big. She was always a gamer but more on consoles and shooters and with only having one computer it was hard to get games to play together. We would play things like Mario Kart and Halo but I think the best so far was when I came into a second 360 and we got two copies of Dead Island. Running around killing zombies with hammers, bats, and knives with my wife is one of the best gaming experiences I have. What is even better is she is pregnant and the baby moves when she kills the zombies.
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On September 30 2011 03:03 Datz2Ez wrote:Show nested quote +On September 30 2011 02:59 bonifaceviii wrote:On September 30 2011 02:54 Bibdy wrote:
I don't know if she would take offense to this or not, but maybe you want to suggest the idea of initially sleeping in separate rooms, so that you keep that private space. That's what my girlfriend and I did when we moved in together, and I think it was a fantastic decision. It allowed us to keep our private space initially, and over time, adjust to being around each other all the time. For the last couple years we've been inseparable and can easily tolerate each other's constant presence at all hours of the day. 1 month of marriage and so far, we're not seeing any change in our behaviour (believe me, we're watching it). Nah, go all in. When I moved in with my fiancee (getting married in April) we shared a bed from the get-go and it was a trial by fire. If you're up in each other's grills as soon as you move in the more short-term pain there will be for the long-term comfort. Save separate rooms for when you're older and your kids move out. Hahaha guys :-) funny suggestion. No I am in the prime of my sexual abilities I don't see my self sleeping in another room (and we don't even have one anyway) also my futur-wife would never want this. We can't wait to share that first night together ♥
hahaha that's cute, you think we're talking about sex.
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EPT
