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On September 30 2011 10:45 s0Li wrote:
First off CONGRATS!
To be honest, it shouldnt be that big of a deal.
I am currently living with my gf, now fiance of two years. We are getting married in April.
As long as she doesnt feel that you are giving it priorities over her you should be good.
Tell her this is your hobby, just like hunting except you are the same house most of the time. And if she has any concerns she should voice them. Explain things liike MLG weekends and lans, I went to QCONN and she thought it was "a bunch of nerds nerding it up" lol shes funny like that. But she understood its what i like to do. Also when she wants to watch her shows, jersey shore and what not I have something I can do!
Yeah, I think that is how it should be. As long as she feel priorities it will be ok!!
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On September 30 2011 11:25 Datz2Ez wrote:Show nested quote +On September 30 2011 10:45 s0Li wrote:
First off CONGRATS!
To be honest, it shouldnt be that big of a deal.
I am currently living with my gf, now fiance of two years. We are getting married in April.
As long as she doesnt feel that you are giving it priorities over her you should be good.
Tell her this is your hobby, just like hunting except you are the same house most of the time. And if she has any concerns she should voice them. Explain things liike MLG weekends and lans, I went to QCONN and she thought it was "a bunch of nerds nerding it up" lol shes funny like that. But she understood its what i like to do. Also when she wants to watch her shows, jersey shore and what not I have something I can do! Yeah, I think that is how it should be. As long as she feel priorities it will be ok!!
Also she should know by know that you play games, unless you have been lying the entire time....
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If you were getting married to the right girl this thread would be pointless. I'll echo the 21 and married = doomed crowd. Just go look at the stats, it's abysmal. Anecdotes aside (all 6 of my friends who married under 22 are now all divorced) it's just foolish. There is noway you can say what you want from life, who you want to share it with and what you will value today is what you value later. People change dramatically from early 20's to late 20's.
Anyway, I'm 27 and have lived with my GF for 2 years she doesn't care at all about my gaming and has even recently become slightly addicted to WoW lol.. wassssssssssup, she can play wow while I play real games. :p
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Canada11367 Posts
On September 30 2011 11:32 crms wrote:
If you were getting married to the right girl this thread would be pointless. I'll echo the 21 and married = doomed crowd. Just go look at the stats, it's abysmal. Anecdotes aside (all 6 of my friends who married under 22 are now all divorced) it's just foolish. There is noway you can say what you want from life, who you want to share it with and what you will value today is what you value later. People change dramatically from early 20's to late 20's.
Oh come now. If you're old enough to live together, you're old enough to marry. Quite frankly the stats are bad for marriage all around and cohabitation into marriage is no better (at least in North America) as far as divorce rates are concerned. But really it seems irrelevant as the issue is marriage and hobby rather than marriage and age.
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On September 30 2011 04:00 Hynda wrote:
If you have to do any adjustments after marriage you are doing something horribly wrong. You should at least have lived with this woman for what 1 maybe 2 years? Why would it change?
You are speaking to religious folk who still value abstinence until marriage.
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On September 30 2011 12:17 Falling wrote:Show nested quote +On September 30 2011 11:32 crms wrote:
If you were getting married to the right girl this thread would be pointless. I'll echo the 21 and married = doomed crowd. Just go look at the stats, it's abysmal. Anecdotes aside (all 6 of my friends who married under 22 are now all divorced) it's just foolish. There is noway you can say what you want from life, who you want to share it with and what you will value today is what you value later. People change dramatically from early 20's to late 20's.
Oh come now. If you're old enough to live together, you're old enough to marry. Quite frankly the stats are bad for marriage all around and cohabitation into marriage is no better (at least in North America) as far as divorce rates are concerned. But really it seems irrelevant as the issue is marriage and hobby rather than marriage and age.
They haven't even lived together and he's wondering about how the hobby he is most passionate about in this world will cause problems with his future wife. Seems like a bad idea already, she should already know about his hobby and how he has to manage it. This is something someone should know BEFORE they get married, give me a break man.
Who gets married with questions of 'gee whiz I wonder how I will have to change my passion now that I'm married'. That's the whole point of living together first etc., you work this shit out to make sure it's not going to be a problem.
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Doesn't this also depends on the people involved in a relationship? I have friends who, once they got a serious relation, would still come around and hang out / participate in hobbies we have. But I also had friends who just never showed up anymore and had to ask their girlfriend permission if they wanted to come and hang out.
Although I am not married (fuck yeah) I would say it is perfectly okay to have hobbies and interrests that do not involve your partner. Whether that is gaming or something else doesn't really matter.
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If you were getting married to the right girl this thread would be pointless. I'll echo the 21 and married = doomed crowd. Just go look at the stats, it's abysmal. Anecdotes aside (all 6 of my friends who married under 22 are now all divorced) it's just foolish. There is noway you can say what you want from life, who you want to share it with and what you will value today is what you value later. People change dramatically from early 20's to late 20's.
Anyway, I'm 27 and have lived with my GF for 2 years she doesn't care at all about my gaming and has even recently become slightly addicted to WoW lol.. wassssssssssup, she can play wow while I play real games.
I always find it funny when people say 'Just look at stats' what stats? Can you tell me?
I will give you some graph that nulify completly what you just say:
This is a graph for canada until 2003. What everyone say '50% of people get divorce' is pure bullshit. So please before talking about stats bring something to the table.
We can see here that in the middle 80s it was that... we are 30 years later get over it. It is falling back to a 30-35% wich, in my opinion is bad, but it is going in the right direction.
![[image loading]](http://www4.hrsdc.gc.ca/auto/diagramme-chart/stg2/c_8_76_2_1_fra.png?20091025164759332)
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On September 30 2011 12:24 crms wrote:Show nested quote +On September 30 2011 12:17 Falling wrote:On September 30 2011 11:32 crms wrote:
If you were getting married to the right girl this thread would be pointless. I'll echo the 21 and married = doomed crowd. Just go look at the stats, it's abysmal. Anecdotes aside (all 6 of my friends who married under 22 are now all divorced) it's just foolish. There is noway you can say what you want from life, who you want to share it with and what you will value today is what you value later. People change dramatically from early 20's to late 20's.
Oh come now. If you're old enough to live together, you're old enough to marry. Quite frankly the stats are bad for marriage all around and cohabitation into marriage is no better (at least in North America) as far as divorce rates are concerned. But really it seems irrelevant as the issue is marriage and hobby rather than marriage and age. They haven't even lived together and he's wondering about how the hobby he is most passionate about in this world will cause problems with his future wife. Seems like a bad idea already, she should already know about his hobby and how he has to manage it. This is something someone should know BEFORE they get married, give me a break man. Who gets married with questions of 'gee whiz I wonder how I will have to change my passion now that I'm married'. That's the whole point of living together first etc., you work this shit out to make sure it's not going to be a problem.
The fact that you think there is no give and take in a marriage relationship shows how out of touch with reality you are.
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i hope whitera posts here and gives you advice.
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My wife doesn't enjoy Brood War, and she really disliked that I played for the first year we lived together, so I played as few as possible.
Then I started to increase my playing time and she got used to it.
I made her play Farmville for a while so I could own noobs while she was planting carrots.
Then she got a new job that starts quite early so she must sleep at 11pm everyday, so I can play BW / poker from 11pm to 3am.
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On September 30 2011 12:45 dOofuS wrote:Show nested quote +On September 30 2011 12:24 crms wrote:On September 30 2011 12:17 Falling wrote:On September 30 2011 11:32 crms wrote:
If you were getting married to the right girl this thread would be pointless. I'll echo the 21 and married = doomed crowd. Just go look at the stats, it's abysmal. Anecdotes aside (all 6 of my friends who married under 22 are now all divorced) it's just foolish. There is noway you can say what you want from life, who you want to share it with and what you will value today is what you value later. People change dramatically from early 20's to late 20's.
Oh come now. If you're old enough to live together, you're old enough to marry. Quite frankly the stats are bad for marriage all around and cohabitation into marriage is no better (at least in North America) as far as divorce rates are concerned. But really it seems irrelevant as the issue is marriage and hobby rather than marriage and age. They haven't even lived together and he's wondering about how the hobby he is most passionate about in this world will cause problems with his future wife. Seems like a bad idea already, she should already know about his hobby and how he has to manage it. This is something someone should know BEFORE they get married, give me a break man. Who gets married with questions of 'gee whiz I wonder how I will have to change my passion now that I'm married'. That's the whole point of living together first etc., you work this shit out to make sure it's not going to be a problem. The fact that you think there is no give and take in a marriage relationship shows how out of touch with reality you are.
the fuck are you talking about? I'm saying he should know how his passion is going to affect his relationship BEFORE getting married. It's ludicrous to not understand how you'd have to compromise things that are VERY important to you before you get married. When in the flying fuck did I ever say he wouldn't have to compromise?
To the OP: nice stats, google harder and you can find:
20 to 24 years old 36.6% 38.8%
nearly 40% of all divorces occur between 20-24 lols.
http://www.ingentaconnect.com/content/routledg/lps/1986/00000040/00000001/art00002
http://www.nytimes.com/1987/01/12/style/divorce-at-a-young-age-the-troubled-20-s.html?pagewanted=all&src=pm
New York Times:
"the incidence of divorce among people in their 20's also reached record highs in the early 1980's, with nearly 40 percent of all divorces occurring among couples under 30."
"Many experts also say that divorce in the 20's is quite different from that among older couples. Whereas people who divorce later in life are often the victims of a spouse's ''midlife crisis,'' according to Paul C. Glick, a sociologist at Arizona State University, ''those most prone to divorce marry in their teens and early 20's.''
''They tend to have less education and lower incomes,''"
Besides I don't know why you're throwing random 'divorce rate' statistics into this conversation. I never said marriage can't work, or people shouldn't get married. I said young marriages <25 are terrible. Which you can clearly see with the easiest of searches.
Add in all the factors about never living with this person, not knowing how exactly they will react to your passion etc., it's just icing on the cake. Any rational person can see this is stupid. I'm not saying it won't work out for you guys but any objective measure indicates you have a steep statistical mountain to climb. Best of luck.
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I got married two weeks ago, but lived with my wife for two years before then. Nothing really changes after marriage if you already lived together. If this is also the beginning of living together, there's definitely an impact on your gaming time.
1) You will no longer be able to come straight home from whatever you were out doing (work, school, whatever) and sit straight on the PC. She will probably have something she wants to tell you since she last saw you, and at the very least you will want to give her a proper kiss hello and talk for a bit (like, 5-10 mins I mean)
2) You will no longer be able to have dinner pretty much whenever you want, which means that it might interrupt gaming sessions. For my part, I used to just think "ok Im getting hungry, I'll have dinner after this game", but it doesn't work like that when there's two people. These days I don't even bother starting any Starcraft games until dinner is done and cleared away, so the hour or so between when I get home from work and dinnertime is when I catch up on forums, watch a couple streams, or tune into the GSL.
3) Unless you want to be one of those douchebags who sits on the PC long after his wife has gone to bed, you'll be going to bed when she does.
4) You can't spend a whole evening on the PC, even if she is the kind of person who likes to game as well. You need to do some stuff together, whether that be a boardgame, a tv show, a movie. Sex does not count as time together for this purpose. It counts as sex.
On an unrelated note, did you live together before you were married? If you didn't (and a lot of people don't) I just want to echo how fucking stupid you are to do that.
Every bad habit of yours that you ever hid for her sake will be well-known to her within a matter of weeks, and the same goes for her bad habits.
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Getting married without living together is objectively fucking stupid.
Regardless of your reasons for it, or whether you have success stories from other people you know, it is a less intelligent move and will increase the chance that you may find you are not at all compatible.
You do NOT know someone until you have lived with them. Fact.
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First of all, CONGRATS! : )
Ah. The eternal struggle between girls and video games. Personally, I really think that this depends on your fiancee and how she views the game. But since you guys are getting married and she knows that you are a gamer, I'm assuming that she'a very nice girl and pretty understanding all around. So if she's accepting of your gaming.. behaviour before marriage, then as long as you don't turn into a potato couch who's glued to his game 24/7 and stop making an effort, I don't think there will be a problem. And it never hurts to ask her how she feels about it once in a while. : )
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Congrats on marriage.
If you ever have a kid of your own, this comes directly from a friend who got married, had a baby while still playing WoW.
"Having a kid is the biggest MMORPG you will EVER play. You work all day and you come home and you gotta start ROLEPLAYING as a 'father', and that's the most challenging game you'll ever play"
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On September 30 2011 13:06 crms wrote:Show nested quote +On September 30 2011 12:45 dOofuS wrote:On September 30 2011 12:24 crms wrote:On September 30 2011 12:17 Falling wrote:On September 30 2011 11:32 crms wrote:
If you were getting married to the right girl this thread would be pointless. I'll echo the 21 and married = doomed crowd. Just go look at the stats, it's abysmal. Anecdotes aside (all 6 of my friends who married under 22 are now all divorced) it's just foolish. There is noway you can say what you want from life, who you want to share it with and what you will value today is what you value later. People change dramatically from early 20's to late 20's.
Oh come now. If you're old enough to live together, you're old enough to marry. Quite frankly the stats are bad for marriage all around and cohabitation into marriage is no better (at least in North America) as far as divorce rates are concerned. But really it seems irrelevant as the issue is marriage and hobby rather than marriage and age. They haven't even lived together and he's wondering about how the hobby he is most passionate about in this world will cause problems with his future wife. Seems like a bad idea already, she should already know about his hobby and how he has to manage it. This is something someone should know BEFORE they get married, give me a break man. Who gets married with questions of 'gee whiz I wonder how I will have to change my passion now that I'm married'. That's the whole point of living together first etc., you work this shit out to make sure it's not going to be a problem. The fact that you think there is no give and take in a marriage relationship shows how out of touch with reality you are. the fuck are you talking about? I'm saying he should know how his passion is going to affect his relationship BEFORE getting married. It's ludicrous to not understand how you'd have to compromise things that are VERY important to you before you get married. When in the flying fuck did I ever say he wouldn't have to compromise? To the OP: nice stats, google harder and you can find: 20 to 24 years old 36.6% 38.8% nearly 40% of all divorces occur between 20-24 lols. http://www.ingentaconnect.com/content/routledg/lps/1986/00000040/00000001/art00002http://www.nytimes.com/1987/01/12/style/divorce-at-a-young-age-the-troubled-20-s.html?pagewanted=all&src=pmNew York Times: "the incidence of divorce among people in their 20's also reached record highs in the early 1980's, with nearly 40 percent of all divorces occurring among couples under 30." "Many experts also say that divorce in the 20's is quite different from that among older couples. Whereas people who divorce later in life are often the victims of a spouse's ''midlife crisis,'' according to Paul C. Glick, a sociologist at Arizona State University, ''those most prone to divorce marry in their teens and early 20's.'' ''They tend to have less education and lower incomes,''" Besides I don't know why you're throwing random 'divorce rate' statistics into this conversation. I never said marriage can't work, or people shouldn't get married. I said young marriages <25 are terrible. Which you can clearly see with the easiest of searches. Add in all the factors about never living with this person, not knowing how exactly they will react to your passion etc., it's just icing on the cake. Any rational person can see this is stupid. I'm not saying it won't work out for you guys but any objective measure indicates you have a steep statistical mountain to climb. Best of luck.
So much quote XD
I really didn't want to turn this thread into this. You are the kind of people I dislike to talk about because you think you know a little bit too much. I will not get into the details of what we talk/didn't talk and what was my tought process that lead me to marriage before we live together. You wouldn't understand because you are not trying to have a dialogue, you are only trying to make me look bad.
I took more time then you to think about mariage that is for sure. Also, try to be more respectful when you want to show a point because 'Any rational person can see this is stupid' is not really suited for a conversation.
If you think you are rational then try looking back at yourself and think for a moment about how biase you are. Being rational and objective is so hard because you have to stop to think about all you own beleif and what society want you to think in order to come to a conclusion that took time and research. You clearily, in one post, didn't take that time.
EDIT: I posted a reason for my 'random stats' it is because some guy started talking about 'Stats say' blah blah blah wich is quite useless when you don't show your stats. Not like I care about those. I think statistic are quite worthless.
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On September 30 2011 13:12 Dhalphir wrote:
Getting married without living together is objectively fucking stupid.
Regardless of your reasons for it, or whether you have success stories from other people you know, it is a less intelligent move and will increase the chance that you may find you are not at all compatible.
You do NOT know someone until you have lived with them. Fact.
On what do you base yourself to say 'objectively fucking stupid'. What do you objectively know about me or my girlfriend? What do you objectively know about our relationship? You only have 2 data in an equation that is way more complicated then a+b=c
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On September 30 2011 13:39 Datz2Ez wrote:Show nested quote +On September 30 2011 13:12 Dhalphir wrote:
Getting married without living together is objectively fucking stupid.
Regardless of your reasons for it, or whether you have success stories from other people you know, it is a less intelligent move and will increase the chance that you may find you are not at all compatible.
You do NOT know someone until you have lived with them. Fact. On what do you base yourself to say 'objectively fucking stupid'. What do you objectively know about me or my girlfriend? What do you objectively know about our relationship? You only have 2 data in an equation that is way more complicated then a+b=c
You're too emotionally attached to this situation to realize why this is an objectively poor decision. Sorry but it's the truth. GL HF though, I don't mean to make you look bad, that's pointless. You have some major statistical mountains to get over; all the luck, you're going to need every bit of it.
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On September 30 2011 13:12 Dhalphir wrote:
Getting married without living together is objectively fucking stupid.
Regardless of your reasons for it, or whether you have success stories from other people you know, it is a less intelligent move and will increase the chance that you may find you are not at all compatible.
You do NOT know someone until you have lived with them. Fact.
I would like to contest your " fact".
A good majority of Asians do not live together before marriage.
However, our divorce rates are lower than other communities that practice cohabitation prior to marriage.
Take my parents' marriage for example. They never lived together. Now they're married 21 years. This is also the case for all closer relatives.
Think before using a word like "objective". It is subjective.
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EPT
