EPTGamer and Mariage - Page 6
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irninja
United States1220 Posts
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Szordrin
Switzerland151 Posts
Sounds to me more like a romantic imagination? I mean, I see the point when you want to get kids with all the legal stuff etc. But why would you marry that early otherwise? Even when you are convinced it will last forever (good luck), there shouldnt be a problem with waiting until 25, 28, whatever, no? I'm playing Handball and there are also a bunch of younger kids around 20, can't imagine seeing them married...  @gaming. Not a marriage here, but a longtime relationship. She doesn't care about games, but I have enough time for it since I'm a student and shes working. I just take care that I don't play when we both have some free time. | ||
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Kemy
105 Posts
On September 30 2011 05:41 Datz2Ez wrote: Maybe because I don't live with her? Getting married for me is more about moving in her appartement. Traditionnaly people would act this way, nowaday people expect you to do the opposite but I do not really follow the new methods. Nobody expects you to do anything. I just think that you should test if you can even live in the same appartment together before you get married. I guess I was wrong assuming you would share my personal view on this matter. In this case just let it flow and don't worry too much. Everything will work itself out. You'll still play games but may find that living together with your gf/wife opens the door to other things that are fun too. Just talk to each other if you feel you have an issue but mainly just let it happen. It's not like you will only give up things but you will get so much and for most people changes just come naturally. | ||
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CCitrus
Canada164 Posts
On September 30 2011 02:34 TheSasquatch wrote: Ha no doubt, especially if your partner is working one as well. If both are working typical 9-5s or something similar it is still tough. At one time I was working two full-time jobs...roughly. while she was looking for work. (Working 11pm-7am MWF and worked 9am-5pm 7 days a week) So somedays of the week it was 11-7 (sleep ~1hr) 9am-5pm, from 5pm-8pm spend time with my wife, then sleep until my other job started. It was hectic. Oh wow. I imagine that took a toll on more than just your gaming. Kudos to you man, you've got some serious stamina if you can pull off barely sleeping EVERY week. Life lesson #1 from SC: time is the most valuable resource. | ||
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overt
United States9006 Posts
On September 30 2011 02:46 Datz2Ez wrote: No I lived with my parents while she is in appartement already. I will move in the 1st of October (is this how you say a date in english?) Just wanted to zero in on this and say that people should always live together for awhile before they get married. I guess there are exceptions if you have some religious reservations or something but if you never live with the person you have no clue how your marriage will turn out. No matter how much you think you love the person and how well you get along with them there is no supplement for actually living with that person. From personal experience, living with someone can actually make you realize you don't want to spend your life with them and if you get married first... Anyways, I'm not trying to scare you OP. Just talking from my experiences and letting other TLers know that you should definitely always live with your significant other before marriage. So that I don't sound like a complete downer, when you do move in with her the two of you will both need to make some compromises. If either of you is incredibly selfish it isn't going to work out. Make sure that you realize that just because you're living together you don't get stagnant. You guys should still go out places, like, still have date nights (especially before you have children). Make sure you still try to do cute romantic things for her too. Keep the bathroom clean, this is very important. As for your video games, believe it or not your significant other has interests outside of you too. You both need interests away from each other or you will get sick of one another. Your interest is video games, hers might be television or movies or knitting or dirt biking or whatever. So while your gaming time might get cut down some (especially at first) it isn't going to just disappear. With that said though most girls don't really appreciate when their significant other is spending more time gaming than they spend time with them. | ||
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UnknownReclaimer
United States146 Posts
When I say waste of time I don't mean somethign you shouldn't do. I mean it in the sense that there is going to be no profit made from it, and it's sole purpose is entertainment/stress relief. For me, I keep trying to decide how serious I wanna take SC2. If I decide to do it professionally, it would leave the hobby category and I would expect my significant other to understand. | ||
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Datz2Ez
Canada76 Posts
On September 30 2011 05:56 Szordrin wrote: I don't understand being married with age 21. Im currently 25, with my girlfriend since about im 19 and its all fine, working out etc. But why would I marry already? Sounds to me more like a romantic imagination? I mean, I see the point when you want to get kids with all the legal stuff etc. But why would you marry that early otherwise? Even when you are convinced it will last forever (good luck), there shouldnt be a problem with waiting until 25, 28, whatever, no? I'm playing Handball and there are also a bunch of younger kids around 20, can't imagine seeing them married... @gaming. Not a marriage here, but a longtime relationship. She doesn't care about games, but I have enough time for it since I'm a student and shes working. I just take care that I don't play when we both have some free time. No, we do not get into this point in this thread. This is becomming a religious discussion and it is very far away from what this thread is about, keep it to constructive comment about the thread. Life is made to be lived as it please you. Do not question my action since this is not about if my decision is good or bad. In my situation, where I am at the moment, it is a good decision. But that is only for me in my situation, do not judge my choice. EDIT: Also, the stupidest thing you can do in life is to live it in function of what can go wrong. "Oh I won't get a house because I might lose my job later", "Oh I will never get married because I don't know if I will be forever with this girl" it is not how life is suppose to be lived. I repeat, this has NOTHING to do about age! It's about where your are in life. | ||
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Datz2Ez
Canada76 Posts
On September 30 2011 05:55 irninja wrote: Relevant video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-d9o3BkcISE&feature=youtube_gdata_player Hahaha love it XD | ||
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nojok
France15845 Posts
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Datz2Ez
Canada76 Posts
On September 30 2011 07:08 nojok wrote: Wait, you have never lived in the same house with your wife? And you will marry her? This is madness! I live with my gf for about 6 months, so my only advise would be to not concede too much and yeah I'm playing video games way less but it's natural, I don't feel like I'm spending time with her that I'd rather use to play video games. Worth it, definitely. Did you read more then the initial post? Read before posting. Edit: sorry, it just makes 10x times I say the thread is not about this. | ||
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Dranak
United States464 Posts
For example, since my work schedule is different than my wife's, I have time during the day on weekdays to game when she isn't home. We pretty much have an understanding that as long as whatever needs to get done around the house is taken care of, I'm free to game all day if I wish. But then when she gets home at night, I log out and spend time with her (most of the time.) This allows me to game and spend time with her, so it's win-win. We play some simple games (Portal 2) together, and she on weekends with major tournaments she falls asleep on the couch watching SC2 matches with me. But the important thing is that we first sat down and discussed it to figure out what sort of balance would work for us, and then tweaked it as we've gone along. Something else to consider is that whatever degree she takes interest in/accomodates your gaming, you need to match that with her hobbies/interests. Like everything else in a relationship, there has to be some give and take. | ||
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ragingfungus
United States271 Posts
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Datz2Ez
Canada76 Posts
On September 30 2011 07:41 ragingfungus wrote: There is no way I would marry someone without having lived with them for some time. You really don't know somebody until you live with them. Off-topic | ||
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Crankenstein
Australia150 Posts
How that man found time for a full time job, running one more game, gaming, raising a son, and keeping his wife happy... The man is a miracle worker. I disagree with those here who have said that as soon as you are married and have kids your gaming time will completely disappear. My partners father is a gamer (Since back in the days of doom/quake... he still uses the old control style where you walk with the mouse). He is a professor at a local university so he has quite a demanding job, he has 2 kids at home still and he spends a lot of time with his wife. Even with all of that he has still managed to complete deus ex 2 twice since it was released and just finished Dragon Age. There's give and take I think. You shouldn't expect to continue onward with your typical 30 hours of gaming a week and she shouldn't expect you to give it up. It's all about compromise. My uncle is also a gamer (He's only 26) and his wife says that it's his vice... He doesn't drink, He doesn't smoke but without fail thursday night is raid night. | ||
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Labil
Sweden52 Posts
I play about 12 hours a week, Thursdays/Sundays, And i picked thoose days based upon her practices/hobbies she has, so we overlap them.I think this is crucial. And to feed my nerd-urges i just feed upon TL with my ipad before going to sleep everyday/listening to a podcast. As for the children-part, I think people who claim the gaming-time will be erased is bullshit or they have 0 help from the partner, Now I can only talk for mysleves in my scenario but, We both work standard hours, 7-4, But remember, the great thing about gaming as a hobby is that it's very portable, You don't have to travel somewhere, you can stop at any time, there's nothing to hinder you from playing, really. (Though having to leave a ladder game early when in a huge lead due to a screaming 1 year old girl and a 3 month puppy can be aggrevating it's all about multitasking in a way) But, take your responsibilites serious, and play a reasonable amount every week and no woman/man in her/his right mind would deny you that luxury. Dialogue, give & take, the only real solution.. Congratulations on the marriage, wish you the best of luck! | ||
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Dekoth
United States527 Posts
21 is too young..Period. Anyone who disagrees is single or isn't old enough to know better. I got married at 19 like I said, I speak from experience. Gaming believe it or not can become a deal breaker. There is many women who get really bent out of shape over video games. I have seen marriages ended due to control issues over video games and I am not even talking about guys who abused it. I have a close friend who was a gamer and got married to a non gamer who hated games. He only played 2 hours a week and Only when she was watching TV. She would rage about it despite ignoring it while they were dating. Somehow in her mind watching TV was more acceptable than him playing a video game. If you don't know your girls stance on Games, you need to know and know now. Otherwise expect it to be a problem. Minor problems become major problems as the years go by. This is a cold simple truth. If it is a minor annoyance to her now, in 5 years it will be a huge arguing point. Take the advice for what it is worth. If you didn't actually want it, well then Congrats and good luck. I hope you don't turn out like the majority of people do who make half informed decisions going into a marriage. | ||
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RibsNGibs
64 Posts
On September 30 2011 09:51 Dekoth wrote: 21 is too young..Period. Anyone who disagrees is single or isn't old enough to know better. I got married at 19 like I said, I speak from experience. Well, I don't know if 21 is "always" too young. I'm 35 and never married, and for sure 21 would have been too young for me - I don't think I really figured out who I was until my late 20s, maybe even early 30's. But I've met some (Ok, very very few... like 2) couples that married young (high school sweethearts), that worked out in the long run. People do change a ton in their early 20's for sure, though. But, back to the OP: when living with a girlfriend/wife, for sure you have to sacrifice some gaming, or any hobby for that matter. You just have to find a happy medium. If you're not willing to give up very much time, perhaps you're not ready for that kind of relationship, and if she's not willing to give you some personal time, then maybe she's not ready for it either. Personally, I just play mostly after she goes to sleep, or in the early morning. And every once in a while, after a really long week at work or whatever, and I just need to game all Friday night, I let her know that I need my personal time, that I'm totally zonked and can't go do anything with her - I just need to de-stress, zone out, and play a crap-ton of Starcraft. | ||
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Datz2Ez
Canada76 Posts
On September 30 2011 09:51 Dekoth wrote: So if you are just going to shoot down anyone's advice that you don't like, why did you even post this thread? If you wanted us to just say Congrats on your marriage and be done with it, you should of posted as much. Granted most of the comments here are from people who don't know what they are talking about (single), There are however a number of comments from people who have been married who clearly do. 21 is too young..Period. Anyone who disagrees is single or isn't old enough to know better. I got married at 19 like I said, I speak from experience. Gaming believe it or not can become a deal breaker. There is many women who get really bent out of shape over video games. I have seen marriages ended due to control issues over video games and I am not even talking about guys who abused it. I have a close friend who was a gamer and got married to a non gamer who hated games. He only played 2 hours a week and Only when she was watching TV. She would rage about it despite ignoring it while they were dating. Somehow in her mind watching TV was more acceptable than him playing a video game. If you don't know your girls stance on Games, you need to know and know now. Otherwise expect it to be a problem. Minor problems become major problems as the years go by. This is a cold simple truth. If it is a minor annoyance to her now, in 5 years it will be a huge arguing point. Take the advice for what it is worth. If you didn't actually want it, well then Congrats and good luck. I hope you don't turn out like the majority of people do who make half informed decisions going into a marriage. No, the fact is that you do not understand well the point of this thread. This is not about me. This is not about if my decision is good or bad. I do not wish do discuss this with you nor with anyone else since this is my choice. I think that I have this maturity, I grew up faster then most people did. I went in appartement at 17, I had the time to rebel myself, question myself quit school go back again and finaly found who I was. Do not think I took this decision lightly, I talked alot with my girlfriend and my parents before making a move. So now, stop talking about me please. The fact that you got married at 19 and failed doesn't mean nobody can ever do that and succeed. You're life doesn't represent everyone else life. Now if you wish to discuss about this thread, tell us what failed in your relationship and what could have been done better in order that everyone benifit from your experience. | ||
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s0Li
United States406 Posts
To be honest, it shouldnt be that big of a deal. I am currently living with my gf, now fiance of two years. We are getting married in April. As long as she doesnt feel that you are giving it priorities over her you should be good. Tell her this is your hobby, just like hunting except you are the same house most of the time. And if she has any concerns she should voice them. Explain things liike MLG weekends and lans, I went to QCONN and she thought it was "a bunch of nerds nerding it up" lol shes funny like that. But she understood its what i like to do. Also when she wants to watch her shows, jersey shore and what not I have something I can do! | ||
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Moldwood
United States280 Posts
The dream is over. | ||
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