[Old] The massacre in Norway - Page 19

I've woken up. I can't sleep anymore. i'm sitting in the living room. Feeling sorrow, anger, happiness, God i dont know what. It's just too many emotions, too many thoughts. I'm scared. I react to even the smallest sound. I'll now write about what happened at Utøya. Hva my eyes saw, what i felt, what i did. the words come straight from the hear, but i will keep out the names out of respect for my friends.

We had a crisis meeting in the main building after the explosions in Oslo. Afterwards there was a meeting for the members from the Oslo-area. After the meetings many, many of us were in and around the main building. Vi took comfort in the fact that we were safe on an island. No one knew hell would break loose here as well.

I was in the main hall when panic broke loose. I heard shots. I saw him firing. Everybody started running. My first thought was: "Why are the police shooting at us? What the hell?!" I ran into the small gathering room. People were running. Screaming. I was scared. I got into one of the rooms at the back of the building. We were many there. We were all laying on the floor. we hear more shots. Got more scared. I cried. I didn't understand anything. I saw my best friend through the window and wondered if I should go out to get him in. I didn't have time. I saw the fear in his eyes. We remained on the floor for several minutes. We agreed to not let anyone else in for fear of the killer. We heard more shots and decided to jump out the window. I was the last one and though: "I'm the last on out the window. I'm gonna die now. Im sure, but it's propably allright, at least i'll know the others are safe". I threw my bag out the window. Tried climbing down, but lost my grip. I landed hard on my left side. A boy helped me up. We ran into the woods. I looked around. "Is he here? Is he shooting at me? Does he see me?" A girl had broken her ankle. Another one was badly wounded. I tried to help before i headed for the water. I took cover behind some kind of brick wall. We were many. I prayed, prayed, prayed. I hoped that God was watching. I called my mom and told her we might not meet again, but that i would do everything to survive. I could hear the fear in her voice. Shed cried. It hust. I sent my dad a text, told him i loved him. I sent a text to another loved one. We kept in contact. I sent my best friend a text. He didn't answer. We heard more shots. Crept together. Did anything we could to stay warm. So many thoughts. I was scared. My dad called. I cried and told him i loved him. He said he was on his way with my brother to receive me when i got ashore or they got to the island. So many emotions, and so many thoughts. I prayed with all my heart. Some time passed. The others called their parents. Eventually we all started texting fearing the kille would hear us. I was thinking about my sister, who was away on vacation. How would i tell here how i was? what was happening to me? I updated twitter and facebook saying i was alive and "safe" for the time being. I wrote i was waiting for the police. People were jumping into the water and started swimming. I remained still. I decided i would play dead if he came. I wouldn't run or swim. I can't describe the fear, my thoughts or my emotions.

A man came. "I'm from the police". I kept still. Some yelled that he needed to prove it. I can't remember exactly what they said, but the killer started shooting. He reloaded. Fired some more. He shot those around med. I kept still thinking "It's over. He's here. He's going to take me. I'll die." People screamed. I heard others being shot. Others jumped in the water. I kept still. Phone in hand. I lay on top of the legs of a girl. Two others were lying over my legs. I remained still. Texts were coming in. My cell rang several times. I kept playing dead I acted dead for at least an hour. I carefully turned my head, looking for suvivors. I saw bodies. I saw blood. Fear. I decided to get up. I had been lying on a dead body. Two dead bodies had been lying on me. I had a guardian angel.

I didn't know if he would come back. I didn't have the courage to look at who had called or texted me. I ran for the water. took of my sweater. It was big. I thought it would be hard to swim with it. I considered taking my cell or letting it lay. I put it in my back pocket and went in. I saw several others in the water. They had swam far. Some had gathered around some kind of floating device, it looked like an inflatable boat. Loads of boats were picking up swimmers. I swam, swam and swam towards the floating thing. i screamed. Cried. Got cold. Thought about when i would drown. It got heavier and heavier. I prayed. I kept going. My arms were spent. I kept going on my back using only my legs. I started sinking. Went back to normal swimming. For a while i thought the inflatable boat was moving away from me. I screamed. Begged them to wait for me. I must have been seeing things. I swam some hundred metesrs before i reached it. We talked some. Told each other our names, were we came from. WHen the boats went past we screamed for help, but they picked up the swimmers first. A man in a boat came to us. he threw out life vests. I got one. Got it on me. I held on to the rubber boat until the same man came back and picked us up. Everyone got aboard. He started heading for shore. After a while the small boat started taking in water. I did everything i could to get it out, using a bucket. I got tired. A girl in the boat took over. We came to shore. We got blankets. Tears were building. I cried more. A woman hugged me. It felt so good. I was crying loudly. Sobbing. A man lent me his phone. I called my dad: "I'm alive. I made it. Im safe" I hung up. Cried more. We had to walk a while. Strangers took us in their cars and drove us to Sundvolden Hotell. I ran in to look for my best friend. I couldn't see him anywhere. I saw a female friend. I cried. We hugged for a long time. It felt good. I walked aoround, looking for friends. My heart was beating hard. I was still crying. I registered at the Police. Looked through the lists. I didn't if my best friend was a live. Couldn't find his name anywhere. I was scared. Someone gave me a blanket. Took off my wet socks. I was half naked. Someone gave me a coat. I tried to get myself together. Contacted my parents again. Dad and my big brother were on the way to get me. I drank some cocoa. Sat down. Thinking. Crying. I saw more of my friends. hugged them. Cried. Someone lent me a computer. I updated facebook and twitter again that I was safe. I was at the hotel for several hours before my family came. Looking for friends. Talked to a Priest. Told him what i'd seen. It was a good conversation. A paramedic looked at my wounds. Cleaned them. Time went. I was with some of my friends. everyone was talking about the same. How we had survived. What had happened. I asked several if they'd seen my best friends. Noone had. I was scared. thought it was my fault cause we hadn't stuck together. A friend got the key to a hotelroom. We sat there watching the news. Anger, sorrow, so many emotions going through us. My dad called, they had arrived. I took the elevator down. tan out to them. Hugged my brother and my dead for a long time. I cried. My brother cried. It was a good moment. I saw someone looking like my best friend. Shouted his name. He turned. It was him. We hugged for a long time. both of us crying we asked how we'd made it. After a while i registered abain and we drove home. Some others got a lift from us. My best friend came home with us. His brother was there with his best friend. People were gathered at my house. They wouldn't leave until they knew we were okay. We talked. I drank a glass of juice. Ate a Yoghurt. Talked with my mom and my family. Called my best female friend. It was a good call. She said: "I wasn't sure i would ever get this phone call." tears were welling up. We talked for a while. Afterwards i went to bed. It was three o'clock. Mom refused to let me sleep alone, so we slept together.

Some hours have passe. Im still in shock. It still hasnt sunk in. I've seen the bodies of my friends. Several friends are still missing. I'm happy i can swim. Happy to be alive. That God was watching out for me. So many emotions, so man thoughts. I think about the all the people who have lost someone. All the people i have lost. The hell that is and was on the island. This summers most beautiful adventure turned to Norways wors nightmare.