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On July 22 2011 13:36 Rarak wrote:Show nested quote +On July 22 2011 13:11 Stil wrote:IMO - Too much importance is put on virginity. Sex itself is just meaningless (but enjoyable  ) friction. It can mean a great deal with the right person - but so can making out and holding hands. Intimacy is comes from the strength of relationship not the acts you perform or don't perform together. Men don't even have a physical virginity and in the days of contraception and paternity testing women don't need their v plates to prove fathers are indeed the parent of their offspring (The original meaning of virgin is not about having sex, but about not being owned by a man, and IMO - that is the root of alot of religious importance stressed into the value of virginity - and a terrible attitude to take towards people and sexual relations, people are NOT things, you can't own them man  !!!) Virginity does has real value because of the emotional component of lovemaking for the first time - we remember our firsts and attaining the level of trust/drunkeness ;P to overcome our insecurities and make ourselves vulnerable in that way is an important milestone, and for that I would say don't jump into it with the first person you see today - but it's not so big a deal that you have to hold out forever. I remember the first time I drove a car - that wasn't any worse an experience because I didn't hold out for a very good car or the car that I would be driving for the rest of my life  No it's just an experience, and the enjoyable experience of driving my car today isn't lessened any by having other cars in the past. There are too many romantic ideas floating about that inflates first time expectations - no matter how long you've waited or how much you love someone or how much you spent on the hotel room, it will not be a perfect moment - because perfection doesn't exist. Sex with a virgin, losing your own virginity and most comically of all - two virgins sleeping with each other is (a logistical nightmare  ) does not have to be unpleasant but it will be the least pleasant experience - you've only got the novelty value of it working for you paired against your own nerves and the hype/expectations that come from society. If you're holding out for perfection then you're going to miss out on a lot of fun. And some people are like 'woah woah woah - save it for someone who means something' - newsflash. It won't run out Sex is a renewable resource fellas And if you truly love your future partners you will have some experiences under your belt before you meet him/her - that way you're better equipped to please them, know how to be pleased yourself and also I've witnessed a lot of relationships crumble when the person who's never slept with anyone else but their current partner gets so curious about what they might have missed with others that they cheat or end the relationship. If you have sex you're no more of a man, no less of a loser. All it proves is that you penetrated someone. My advice to thread - don't be douches about it and lie/trick/pay for sex it's not that big a deal, but if you can have it then don't be brainwashed by what society has to say you'll gain/lose from it - just have it and enjoy it in it's own splendid right If you are about 12. Once you start having sex, I dont think holding hands cuts it anymore tbh. Having said that, I don't think there is any shame in not having sex until you are 20 or so. From that point onwards tho, no excuses imo its fun times so why not?
What the fuck? Cuts it for what? Getting your dick wet?
I've had sex and I still enjoy holding hands with my significant other. I'm not thinking "when are we getting to the sex" or "I'd much rather be having sex". You people need to get your priorities straight.
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On July 22 2011 13:40 Xanbatou wrote:Show nested quote +On July 22 2011 13:36 Rarak wrote:On July 22 2011 13:11 Stil wrote:IMO - Too much importance is put on virginity. Sex itself is just meaningless (but enjoyable ) friction. It can mean a great deal with the right person - but so can making out and holding hands. Intimacy is comes from the strength of relationship not the acts you perform or don't perform together. Men don't even have a physical virginity and in the days of contraception and paternity testing women don't need their v plates to prove fathers are indeed the parent of their offspring (The original meaning of virgin is not about having sex, but about not being owned by a man, and IMO - that is the root of alot of religious importance stressed into the value of virginity - and a terrible attitude to take towards people and sexual relations, people are NOT things, you can't own them man !!!) Virginity does has real value because of the emotional component of lovemaking for the first time - we remember our firsts and attaining the level of trust/drunkeness ;P to overcome our insecurities and make ourselves vulnerable in that way is an important milestone, and for that I would say don't jump into it with the first person you see today - but it's not so big a deal that you have to hold out forever. I remember the first time I drove a car - that wasn't any worse an experience because I didn't hold out for a very good car or the car that I would be driving for the rest of my life No it's just an experience, and the enjoyable experience of driving my car today isn't lessened any by having other cars in the past. There are too many romantic ideas floating about that inflates first time expectations - no matter how long you've waited or how much you love someone or how much you spent on the hotel room, it will not be a perfect moment - because perfection doesn't exist. Sex with a virgin, losing your own virginity and most comically of all - two virgins sleeping with each other is (a logistical nightmare ) does not have to be unpleasant but it will be the least pleasant experience - you've only got the novelty value of it working for you paired against your own nerves and the hype/expectations that come from society. If you're holding out for perfection then you're going to miss out on a lot of fun. And some people are like 'woah woah woah - save it for someone who means something' - newsflash. It won't run out Sex is a renewable resource fellas And if you truly love your future partners you will have some experiences under your belt before you meet him/her - that way you're better equipped to please them, know how to be pleased yourself and also I've witnessed a lot of relationships crumble when the person who's never slept with anyone else but their current partner gets so curious about what they might have missed with others that they cheat or end the relationship. If you have sex you're no more of a man, no less of a loser. All it proves is that you penetrated someone. My advice to thread - don't be douches about it and lie/trick/pay for sex it's not that big a deal, but if you can have it then don't be brainwashed by what society has to say you'll gain/lose from it - just have it and enjoy it in it's own splendid right If you are about 12. Once you start having sex, I dont think holding hands cuts it anymore tbh. Having said that, I don't think there is any shame in not having sex until you are 20 or so. From that point onwards tho, no excuses imo its fun times so why not? What the fuck? Cuts it for what? Getting your dick wet? I've had sex and I still enjoy holding hands with my significant other. I'm not thinking "when are we getting to the sex" or "I'd much rather be having sex". You people need to get your priorities straight.
I don't want my priorities to be based around holding hands or watching The Notebook together until my age is three digits. That said everyone should have a wild phase and if you didn't you missed out big time.
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On July 22 2011 13:36 Rarak wrote:
If you are about 12. Once you start having sex, I dont think holding hands cuts it anymore tbh.
Having said that, I don't think there is any shame in not having sex until you are 20 or so. From that point onwards tho, no excuses imo its fun times so why not?
Hehe. I'm nearly 30 years old. Close to 40 notches in the bedpost and soon... going to be married for the third time - I'm glad with just holding hands and cuddling at times, gotta save my strength
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Its a matter of preference, really. If you choose to save it for marriage, respect to you. I know people who do. With the spread of HIV and other STDS among teens and adults, abstinence is really the way to go to prevent getting anything 100%. Or you haven't found that special someone yet. Either way, whatever makes you happy.
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I used to think it was the be all and end all when I was younger, but it's really not. It's a fun, enjoyable part of life, but I definitely agree that a lot of people in society are overly obsessed with it (but I guess there are worse things we could obsess about?!)
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I lost my virginity a few months ago and I'm 22. At first I thought I was hitting some kind of milestone, but really, its not a big deal. Its only a big deal until you've done it, then it isn't.
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It will happen when it happens man. Just dont worry about it.
But if your worried aboiut it, Getting out of the house and meeting some people will seriously help your progress. The problem of most virgins in their twenties is they enjoy their solitude to much. They dont enjoy social gatherings or events (Im not talking about bars), beyond their comfort zone. I lost my virginity at 19 (im 25 now).
My entire 18th year I was at university dreaming about girls and moping because I never got any. But in reality it was because i never really made the effort to go out and meet people and forge relationships (just meeting a wide variety of people helps). Sure I went to the bar and out with my friends, but i never pushed myself to meet new people and go outside my comfort zone. Once I realized this and started pushing myself(sometimes with the help of alcohol), it happened almost immediatly.
There is nothing weird about being a virgin. You just need to push yourself to find that person, and when you do it will happen without pressure.
..... Or you could go to the bar and pick up the sleasiest skank in the bar and bring her home. (seriously its not hard). Just make sure you put on the raincoat.
Whichever floats your boat =D
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as long as you aren't using "sex isn't all that special" (or whatever) as an excuse to cover up actual insecurity/inexperience with girls, nobody should or would give a shit whether you're a virgin or not
but if you aren't doing that then why aren't you sexin lol it's pretty good times
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On July 22 2011 13:42 NotJack wrote:Show nested quote +On July 22 2011 13:40 Xanbatou wrote:On July 22 2011 13:36 Rarak wrote:On July 22 2011 13:11 Stil wrote:IMO - Too much importance is put on virginity. Sex itself is just meaningless (but enjoyable ) friction. It can mean a great deal with the right person - but so can making out and holding hands. Intimacy is comes from the strength of relationship not the acts you perform or don't perform together. Men don't even have a physical virginity and in the days of contraception and paternity testing women don't need their v plates to prove fathers are indeed the parent of their offspring (The original meaning of virgin is not about having sex, but about not being owned by a man, and IMO - that is the root of alot of religious importance stressed into the value of virginity - and a terrible attitude to take towards people and sexual relations, people are NOT things, you can't own them man !!!) Virginity does has real value because of the emotional component of lovemaking for the first time - we remember our firsts and attaining the level of trust/drunkeness ;P to overcome our insecurities and make ourselves vulnerable in that way is an important milestone, and for that I would say don't jump into it with the first person you see today - but it's not so big a deal that you have to hold out forever. I remember the first time I drove a car - that wasn't any worse an experience because I didn't hold out for a very good car or the car that I would be driving for the rest of my life No it's just an experience, and the enjoyable experience of driving my car today isn't lessened any by having other cars in the past. There are too many romantic ideas floating about that inflates first time expectations - no matter how long you've waited or how much you love someone or how much you spent on the hotel room, it will not be a perfect moment - because perfection doesn't exist. Sex with a virgin, losing your own virginity and most comically of all - two virgins sleeping with each other is (a logistical nightmare ) does not have to be unpleasant but it will be the least pleasant experience - you've only got the novelty value of it working for you paired against your own nerves and the hype/expectations that come from society. If you're holding out for perfection then you're going to miss out on a lot of fun. And some people are like 'woah woah woah - save it for someone who means something' - newsflash. It won't run out Sex is a renewable resource fellas And if you truly love your future partners you will have some experiences under your belt before you meet him/her - that way you're better equipped to please them, know how to be pleased yourself and also I've witnessed a lot of relationships crumble when the person who's never slept with anyone else but their current partner gets so curious about what they might have missed with others that they cheat or end the relationship. If you have sex you're no more of a man, no less of a loser. All it proves is that you penetrated someone. My advice to thread - don't be douches about it and lie/trick/pay for sex it's not that big a deal, but if you can have it then don't be brainwashed by what society has to say you'll gain/lose from it - just have it and enjoy it in it's own splendid right If you are about 12. Once you start having sex, I dont think holding hands cuts it anymore tbh. Having said that, I don't think there is any shame in not having sex until you are 20 or so. From that point onwards tho, no excuses imo its fun times so why not? What the fuck? Cuts it for what? Getting your dick wet? I've had sex and I still enjoy holding hands with my significant other. I'm not thinking "when are we getting to the sex" or "I'd much rather be having sex". You people need to get your priorities straight. I don't want my priorities to be based around holding hands or watching The Notebook together until my age is three digits. That said everyone should have a wild phase and if you didn't you missed out big time.
I completely agree. I'm only 17 and I've been with my current girlfriend for 3.5 years now and neither of us are overly romantic...so we're basically 'best friends with benefits'. Obviously we care about each other as much as any other couple in love, but holding hands and watching The Notebook is boring as hell and neither of us are going to suffer through that kinda junk just for convention...I guess it'd be pretty standard in relationships where people aren't comfortable enough with each other, for example if my and my girl were doing that in our first few months I wouldn't do what I'd do now, as in, "this is boring as fuck, imma play some SC2".
Speaking of the Notebook though, I lost my virginity with that crappy movie playing in the background. Had to do something to stay awake :/
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On July 22 2011 14:04 Nokarot wrote:
I lost my virginity a few months ago and I'm 22. At first I thought I was hitting some kind of milestone, but really, its not a big deal. Its only a big deal until you've done it, then it isn't.
This is quite true.
Sex is fun and all, but if it's purely sex, meh. It's just friction. It's much better if it's part of a meaningful relationship. If all you want is friction, Palmela Handerson is a much cheaper date.
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On July 22 2011 14:13 JingleHell wrote:Show nested quote +On July 22 2011 14:04 Nokarot wrote:
I lost my virginity a few months ago and I'm 22. At first I thought I was hitting some kind of milestone, but really, its not a big deal. Its only a big deal until you've done it, then it isn't. This is quite true. Sex is fun and all, but if it's purely sex, meh. It's just friction. It's much better if it's part of a meaningful relationship. If all you want is friction, Palmela Handerson is a much cheaper date.
Now you're speaking my language!
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Sex is great.
People passing judgement on others because of their sexual experience is not great.
People pressuring their family members to reproduce for whatever reason is complete and utter bullshit.
Seriously though, don't make a big deal out of it. When the time comes I'm sure you will enjoy it.
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On July 22 2011 13:34 Turbogangsta wrote:
First few times i had sex it was crap but then i stopped worrying and its so awesome. after your confident you will enjoy it every time it comes your way whether or not the chick actually tries
you know i think since u arnt religious u should consider getting a hooker. herpes just means they know what they are doing
edit: yes sex is definatly OP and im sure in many of our weaker moments we have considered paying for it ourselves.
the lengths some people go to for sex can be serverly financialy and emotionaly damaging (marrige lol)
I really don't see what the issue is with paying for sex. Many people want sex yet don't want a relationship. I think society just blows it out of proportion and if payed sex was regulated it would be far safer for everyone.
And let's face it, sex sells.
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the only people whom in your words, "over value" sex; is those who havent had it yet. and yes, there are many pressures and influences from society to have sex. but really thats just one piece of a larger issue. that is things like sex, drugs, how you dress, what kindve car you drive, all that bullshit. all of these things. once again using your words, the "avg-dimwitted individual" uses as benchmarks to where they fit in/where others fit in. Its a matter of status.
You dont have to accept all the shit in front of you as true. I lost my virginity when i was 16, and that wasnt a moment too soon in my opinion. regardless of all this hypersexualized influence. I did it cause i knew i wanted to with my girlfriend at the time. It was a seamless experience because it felt right. My guess is when you find yourself in a similar situation it will be seamless for you too. Maybe then this perceived overvalue will make a bit more sense.
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United States1655 Posts
I have had opportunities in the past, but I've chosen to not take them because I felt like they weren't what I really wanted. I'm 22 and a virgin, and while I'm not necessarily waiting till I get married, I could see myself choosing to based on my partner. I don't think I want to have sex with someone unless its someone I know I really care about and who feels the same way about me. Its not a biggie, I could have easily lost it with a one night stand or something, but I don't feel like it would be as enjoyable for me.
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no big deal...
it's just important because it's good to have offspring i guess?
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sex: not really that big of a deal.
i have steady girlfriend; sex once a week is enough for me; the topic does seem to get overvalued and overplayed in western society afaik, and is drifting towards shaping eastern society as well.
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Let me ask you something? Do you want to lose your virginity with some special female or just some poor drunken club girl?
That's why people with brain are still virgins when 20+, because they are searching for special girl. I still didn't find proper girl for sex, seriously. Everytime I hit something, it's very annoying or her parents really failed at parenting. I am sad about attitude of todays females.
And I admit I am little lazy too you know, I just can't imagine myself at the moment to have GF and walk out of building whenever she wants. Don't know but that's it(I am talking about finding really good soulmate). I rather mastrubate and go work my own things, instead hanging and wasting my time all day outside for doing what... talking about school, her friends and other bs.
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I guess every one talks about it because that they want to talk about it because they want attention? I mean who doesnt like attention? And because of that you talk about sex to get attention and if someone havent had sex they become UP hheheh
Well, i can compare this to a master leaguer vs a bronce the master leaguer will brag about his achivement. So yea the bottom line is ppl like to brag
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On July 22 2011 11:42 ClysmiC wrote:Show nested quote +The only other option is you are super religious and haven't ever seen a beautiful women Or he has been tempted just like everyone else, but has the self-control to make the smarter choice.
"Smarter choice" is a crock. That's your opinion and nothing more. If someone wants to have sex with all the necessary precautions (e.g. contraception, condoms), they aren't somehow "dumb," as you imply.
FWIW: the first time you have sex is usually pretty bad in comparison to later acts, which is kind of amusing given the stigma you often see for virgins.
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EPT
