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"I am a virgin just because fate has not allowed to experience it..."
LOL! Fate -- always cockblocking me.
Though I got a couple giggles out of the OP I do agree in the end that sex is weighted far too highly in society. Sure, the passing of genetics is the core of our being from an evolutionary and survival standpoint -- but the world is very different today. And yes, the result seems to be mass manufacturing of way-too-young sex objects in popular media, and a lot of other shamelessly skin-deep bullshit.
Truth be told, you WILL have sex someday. If you and your partner are ready then it will be enjoyable. Don't rush it if you are unsure. Often times it does not actually cement a relationship but instead creates more arguments and instability.
That said -- GL HF-- In bed.
Oh --- and if anyone is going to complain that "Boobs are OP in society" just stop now. Boobs always have and always will control men, and boobs WILL win in the end.
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Only reason it's such a big deal because...hormones? Shit it's probably just the society we live in, like for instance it's considered sexy when woman kiss but when guys kiss it's wrong. Just my take.
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Sex has always been important throughout history, culture to culture. But I think it's taken too far sometimes. Talking less about sex and virginity there is alot of pressure from society to couple with someone else - you can't be a bachelor (or the female equivalent, spinster, which usually carries a negative tone all by itself) people will meddle and not understand that solitude is not the same thing as loneliness. But that rant is only semi-related and should be saved for another thread 
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After hearing countless stories from people I know (male and female) on how difficult it is to keep a good relationship going, I'm in no rush whatsoever to have to deal with the same things just so I can get a little sex. There's places you can go if all you want is sex, Las Vegas and Amsterdam (and there is many many others, however these are the only ones with any notably regulated sex trades).
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In retrospect, I really hate that I lost my virginity to who I did. It was terrible, wasn't fun, and he wouldn't do any of the work, even when he was on top.
Personally, I wish sex was something that wasn't so casual in this society. I wish porn and sex weren't prevalent, common topics and that they weren't absolutely everywhere.
I mean, I avoid porn because I find it dull as it's nothing like the real thing: I'm not actively involved.
It really does lead to unrealistic expectations and that pisses me off. It's like I can't be good enough for anyone.
Personally, I think being a virgin adds to someone's sex appeal.
The society we live in tells me I'm not that good because I have a little more weight than I'd like and other body flaws. Porn tells me the same damn thing. It's kinda silly.
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On July 22 2011 11:38 heroyi wrote:
I am 20 years old about to hit 21 and am still a virgin. What is the point of the said statement?
Well to an avg-dimwitted tool, I would be considered a "loser."
Is this a valid assumption?
Society puts a lot of pressure, especially on pre-teens, on the idea of you must have sex else you are just a loser. They portray that you can't achieve a fulfilling happy life without and everybody is doing it and it is easy as 1,2,3.Despite there being studies showing both men and women who have engaged in sexual activity despite not wanting to or feeling "ready."
I do wish someday to experience it (ultimately to have kids and raise a family) however I do feel that people are raising the point up too frequently and giving it too much value. Is it really something that should be highly regarded where if you fail to achieve such feat then you are looked down upon?
discuss??
edit:
I am not a religious person. I raised the point just for curiosity sake.
However if you are asking whether I am religious or not due to my virginity then no. I am a virgin just because fate has not allowed to experience it...but that is not the point
edit 2:
I did not state nor do I "value" virginity highly.
I am asking if sex topic, in general, is over valued in society.
This topic ties to a lot of other things. It connects to the problems little girls with social images of them must having a 32C boobs and slim slender body else they are not socially acceptable. It connects to "porn" addiction with the arise of the internet. Which also connects to people have super high expectation of what sex should be (i.e threesome is not as prominent as people think)
etc...
"Why is everything about sex?"
-40 year old virgin
Just go buy a hooker or something, problem solved.
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Everything is about sex because it is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD
seriously, holding the one you love passionately comes second only to starcraft
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Having sex is like a 8 rax. It is very agressive but with a solid transition out of it if something doesn't work out right.
It is not OP, you just have to know how to stop it
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Everyone has their own way to look at the world. For some sex is a huge part of life and they see it as something important, to others it is not so important. Culturally though the media has put a lot of emphasis on it because it sells and that has some trickle down affect for people since they are bombarded by it daily so it seems more important then it is.
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TBH, sex is just fun to have. I had the same problem you have, for whatever reason not being able to get laid. Eventually I just stopped caring, and not long after I actually got to get some. Go fig, eh?
Though, it was never a huge deal to the people around me. Sure, there were jokes made, such as the oh-so-common "40 year old virgin," but I'm the kind of guy that constantly makes jokes on myself, so I just rolled with it. None of it ever really bothered me. It never was a big deal or anything though. Like I said, I eventually stopped caring, and it just came to me... I guess the big thing about "society making a big deal out of it" is that it's only a big deal if you let it become a big deal.
A bit over 3 years later though, and I'm still with the girl.
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so you got balls stating this. my question is simple how did you manage TO NOT have sex in this teenage culture. one night stands are all over sex is promoted as you said . hell probabbly 50 procent of middle schoolers lost there virginity.
I think youve been raised religous or something like that.
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Overhyped by media.
I was a virgin till I was 22 and got my first girlfriend. Up until then most ppl who met me thought it was strange that I was a virgin and asked if I was religious or something lol. I just said it hadn't happened and everybody thought it was actually good.
After sex though I think it's rather overrated. For me the big "woa" moment was cuddling and making out with my girlfriend. It was a much bigger deal and affected me much more than sexual intercourse. For me it was much more intimate, more powerful and awesome.
In the back of my head yeah I guess I wanted to do it just to see what the big fuss was, but then I never really cared much and if you don't care then it won't get you down. It turned out to be what I imagined it to be: awkward and fun but not as great as everyone made it out to be.
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On July 24 2011 17:32 pyrogenetix wrote:
Overhyped by media.
I was a virgin till I was 22 and got my first girlfriend. Up until then most ppl who met me thought it was strange that I was a virgin and asked if I was religious or something lol. I just said it hadn't happened and everybody thought it was actually good.
After sex though I think it's rather overrated. For me the big "woa" moment was cuddling and making out with my girlfriend. It was a much bigger deal and affected me much more than sexual intercourse. For me it was much more intimate, more powerful and awesome.
In the back of my head yeah I guess I wanted to do it just to see what the big fuss was, but then I never really cared much and if you don't care then it won't get you down. It turned out to be what I imagined it to be: awkward and fun but not as great as everyone made it out to be.
Get better at sex.
No seriously, get better at it. Sex is a lot like everything else in this world in that practice makes perfect.
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On July 24 2011 17:26 Shadowcloak wrote:
my question is simple how did you manage TO NOT have sex in this teenage culture. one night stands are all over sex is promoted as you said . hell probabbly 50 procent of middle schoolers lost there virginity.
I really hope this isn't true
EDIT: Distracted by the two massacre headers in the General category.
My view: Don't worry too much about it and it will happen when it happens.
As for socializing younger generations with too much emphasis on sex, I believe that kids are in general trying to grow up too fast. Why? No idea.
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Can't remember where but I once read a study that stated something like people that have less sexual partners in their life tend to be much happier in their marriages.
I am 21 year old male, and I have currently had sex with 3 people in my life. Only one did I truly love but long story short even though I loved her with all my heart, I wish I have never had sex. My personal opinion is to wait until you are married or at least deeply in love. It is so much better. Sex is over rated. The girl that I was in love with was amazing, and I wish everyday that I could have her back just to talk to her. Sex complicates relationships and makes things more difficult. Us having sex and among other things actually led to us breaking up. Can't go into whole story and I can see that I am rambling.
Summary opinion: wait till married = best possible solution imho.
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Sex is great- but this post brings up a couple valid points IMO.
Firstly, I think sex is used to keep people distracted. Along with all the other garbage in the media, the trash we are told to buy, sports and shit like celebrity culture- is out there to keep people from caring about real issues. Bottom line is it's REALLY easy to pacify people especially when you are appealing to both their evolutionary instinct and also socially imposed expectations. (You HAVE to be a guy who just rolls around and talks about how great sex is and how manly you are... just look at this thread.) I can't help but think of the movie Idiocracy.
-"YA BUT I REALLY LIKE SEX"
-"Um... ya dude, I think everyone does."
Secondly, it's the prime motivator for most people's behavior. Which I think on some level is primal and genetic, but on another level is socially imposed. I do enjoy sex (no more, but probably the same as most people)... but try to not let it drive my life. I mean... it's just sad all the people I see who are all about how they look, what they drive, their makeup or clothes, working a TON for money, their image, all kinds of time wasted on some image to get sex. Going clubbing, washing your car 3X a week- obsessed with your looks- its 90% of people I know.
I wish people were a lot more high minded. We all like sex, given. But like... do something with your time, learn something, read, get good at something or develop some skill or contribute your best to society. Don't just become another moron obsessed with tail. There are plenty of those dumbasses out there- and bottom line is you're going to get it anyways in 95% of instances, just being yourself and meeting people.
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On July 22 2011 11:38 heroyi wrote:
I am 20 years old about to hit 21 and am still a virgin. What is the point of the said statement?
Well to an avg-dimwitted tool, I would be considered a "loser."
Is this a valid assumption?
Society puts a lot of pressure, especially on pre-teens, on the idea of you must have sex else you are just a loser. They portray that you can't achieve a fulfilling happy life without and everybody is doing it and it is easy as 1,2,3.Despite there being studies showing both men and women who have engaged in sexual activity despite not wanting to or feeling "ready."
I do wish someday to experience it (ultimately to have kids and raise a family) however I do feel that people are raising the point up too frequently and giving it too much value. Is it really something that should be highly regarded where if you fail to achieve such feat then you are looked down upon?
discuss??
edit:
I am not a religious person. I raised the point just for curiosity sake.
However if you are asking whether I am religious or not due to my virginity then no. I am a virgin just because fate has not allowed to experience it...but that is not the point
edit 2:
I did not state nor do I "value" virginity highly.
I am asking if sex topic, in general, is over valued in society.
This topic ties to a lot of other things. It connects to the problems little girls with social images of them must having a 32C boobs and slim slender body else they are not socially acceptable. It connects to "porn" addiction with the arise of the internet. Which also connects to people have super high expectation of what sex should be (i.e threesome is not as prominent as people think)
etc...
"Why is everything about sex?"
-40 year old virgin
The constancy and fidelity of a girl is inversely related to how often she wants to have sex with random strangers.
I know of 14-16 yr olds in years past that would do it with multiple guys 20-24ish, (yeah, totally breaking laws), and the point is that these same ones have the issues that prevent them from being part of a considerate relationship. F* toys are F* toys. Its their choice, and many times comes from a maladaptive processing of thoughts and behavior on their part. some of these rampant sluts are the way they are because of past abuse or neglected childhood/poor bonding/value instillment, or lack of good parent models, etc.
Sex has been made a big issue, first as a thing not to be done almost ever in puritan roots, then as a thing either to be done and enjoyed as much as hedonistically possible by hollywood standards and usually by people who are actually messed up attention whores (See Millionaires:Like a million on youtube), and people like Paris Hilton just increase the problem.
In europe its a natural part of life. even 14-16 yr olds laugh about it and dont feel bad when they've been video taped by the boys father as he teaches him how to do it :\.
If something isn't inherently wrong, it becomes right or wrong solely on the pulls of pop culture, religion, and politics all trying to head their own direction for their benefits. there's money to be made on selling people ideas.
TL:DR, there's rampant sluts who are either totally ingrained with the "pro sex everywhere" pop culture subset, or have had deep psychological issues, and in both cases were not correctly taught growing up, theres people who have sex regularly and see it as no big deal like euorpeans and artists and who understand that everyone is a sexual being by nature, there's people for whom sex feels gross or wrong, and this is usually coupled with religious teachings, theres tantric practicioners who sometimes use sex for achieving their enlightenment, while other practitioners who become priests, in buddhism and catholicism, have a rule of total abstinence, and buddhism has rules about not becoming involved with people who are involved with others etc.
The world will always disagree with your choice, especially when political agendas try to promote one idea or another, like hot button issues such as school teachers being some sorts of giant evul predat0rz z0mg for being a sex offender when they had sex with someone 1 month underage, yet its a platform used to instill fear and distrust and hatred among the general population, for a gain in votes, destroying lives in the process, and so on and so on. So the question is, what do you feel? Is what you want or are doing right or wrong? Ask yourself and find your answer, and dont be bothered to be different, society can go to hell. If you don't feel a need to have sex with anyone, you're already superior to most sheeple, as you can make your own decisions. Be wary though, that you don't subconsciously fear failing it and thus consciously construct a rationalization as to why its legitimate if you dont feel that way. And If you do, thats alright too.
just dont get stuck with some vampire-like emotional drain baggage for the sake of poon.
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On July 24 2011 17:59 Vilonis wrote:Show nested quote +On July 24 2011 17:26 Shadowcloak wrote:
my question is simple how did you manage TO NOT have sex in this teenage culture. one night stands are all over sex is promoted as you said . hell probabbly 50 procent of middle schoolers lost there virginity. I really hope this isn't true EDIT: Distracted by the two massacre headers in the General category. My view: Don't worry too much about it and it will happen when it happens. As for socializing younger generations with too much emphasis on sex, I believe that kids are in general trying to grow up too fast. Why? No idea.
The life limit we've had has grown substancially over the years. "Children" Who were 15 used to be considered half way through their life. The only difference is that technology and medicine have improved to where we now live longer. Maybe they aren't trying to grow up too fast. Maybe science in itself has reduced the need to be so experienced so young, however it's in their nature to do so. And maybe you're growing up too slow? Just some counter thoughts.
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The world will always disagree with your choice, especially when political agendas try to promote one idea or another, like hot button issues such as school teachers being some sorts of giant evul predat0rz z0mg for being a sex offender when they had sex with someone 1 month underage, yet its a platform used to instill fear and distrust and hatred among the general population, for a gain in votes, destroying lives in the process, and so on and so on. So the question is, what do you feel? Is what you want or are doing right or wrong? Ask yourself and find your answer, and dont be bothered to be different, society can go to hell. If you don't feel a need to have sex with anyone, you're already superior to most sheeple, as you can make your own decisions. Be wary though, that you don't subconsciously fear failing it and thus consciously construct a rationalization as to why its legitimate if you dont feel that way. And If you do, thats alright too.
I just wanted to plus one this as well. Ignore my opinion from before because it is just that, an opinion. This is a great way to put it on how it is. +1
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On July 24 2011 18:21 Vegasminion wrote:Show nested quote +On July 24 2011 17:59 Vilonis wrote:On July 24 2011 17:26 Shadowcloak wrote:
my question is simple how did you manage TO NOT have sex in this teenage culture. one night stands are all over sex is promoted as you said . hell probabbly 50 procent of middle schoolers lost there virginity. I really hope this isn't true EDIT: Distracted by the two massacre headers in the General category. My view: Don't worry too much about it and it will happen when it happens. As for socializing younger generations with too much emphasis on sex, I believe that kids are in general trying to grow up too fast. Why? No idea. The life limit we've had has grown substancially over the years. "Children" Who were 15 used to be considered half way through their life. The only difference is that technology and medicine have improved to where we now live longer. Maybe they aren't trying to grow up too fast. Maybe science in itself has reduced the need to be so experienced so young, however it's in their nature to do so. And maybe you're growing up too slow? Just some counter thoughts.
I agree to all of your counter thoughts, and I also agree to the nested quote. middle schoolers have sex, they did when I was middle school, and I wanted to bang my hot blonde teacher. 2nd graders have blowjob orgies. 9 yr olds can give sly glances to older men while looking at nude sculptures, 14-16 yr olds can lie about their to get sex with older men all the time, and they do.
12-16 was the marriageable age of girls to older men (sometimes in 30's-40's) since the dawn of time up until the early 20th century. Read The Good Earth about China. take some history lessons about the ages of queens. Check out the political age of consent maps (of which quite a few places are actually extraordinarily disturbing). Check out ancient Greece.
Its a pandemic of sexuality in living beings that should be Asexual until society tells them they're ready, damnit! (sarcasm pointing out the flawed magical thinking of absentee thought people).
Freud knew children were sexual from birth. Children dont play doctor? teens dont get the urge to mate which is based wholly on BRAIN CHEMICALS? All animals in nature are hit with this chemical incentive in the first 1/8th of their average lifespan.
People are bags of chemicals, chemicals that tell them what to do.
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EPT
