|
On July 15 2011 06:40 ToxNub wrote:Man, there aren't 3 clubs nights a week worth going to here, and certainly not 15 women worth talking to at each one. I have work in the morning and shit. This is why I've tried net dating (and failed miserably). Like anything I'm sure it takes lots and lots of practice. Moreover, picking random girls at a bar is not my style. I'd rather trip most of the girls at the bar than fuck them. I don't think PUA tactics are compatible with my lifestyle 
You can either make excuses or you can find ways to address them. I live in suburbia and there are nothing but 12 year olds and moms. I either drive 90 miles to Hollywood or 70 miles to San Diego. I' make it happen.
So there aren't hot girls.... open sets with ugly girls. Its god damn practice. If you cant make a fatty like you, you definitely ain't gonna make a 10 like you.
You know what, going to clubs isn't my style either. Getting rejected isnt my style. Having to spend a lot of money on fashion isn't my style. Weightlifting isn't my style. My style is playing Starcraft and Heroes of Newerth and have hot random strippers show up at my house and massage me while I play. But guess what? I do whatever it takes.
|
On July 15 2011 06:40 ToxNub wrote:
"Hi there. My name's Aaron. I hope your night is going well.
Beyond the 'hi there', your intro is slightly awkward and doesn't do anything to elicit interest. If you happened to pay attention in writing classes about why good introductions are important, you'll understand why this is a bad thing.
On July 15 2011 06:40 ToxNub wrote:I'm sitting in a restaurant with my bill paid 30 minutes ago while the waitress and I have a scowling competition. Don't fret your pretty little head... I'll win. Many long years of coffee drinking and morning commutes has perfected a glance that could cut steel.
I realize you're attempting to display value, but you basically came off as an insecure bragger and a little creepy. It isn't normal or attractive to have scowling contests with waitresses, and you directly claim value instead of demonstrating it (to put it another way, show, don't tell).
On July 15 2011 06:40 ToxNub wrote:
I like to ramble, and I hope you do too. The fairtrade stuff... does that mean you are addicted to coffee too? Or are you just addicted to writing about it?
In general, being a rambling guy is not attractive. A majority of women appreciate a good listener more than a good talker, so in absence of evidence to the contrary, stating this up front works to your disadvantage. It also appears that you were trying to make a joke there, but it really wasn't funny nor witty.
On July 15 2011 06:40 ToxNub wrote:I hated " the alchemist", honestly. It felt like I was reading cosmo, and it was giving me 10 tips to please my man. I had the sense that i couldnt trust this advice any more than any other list in another magazine. No more insightful than "the secret" or effective than 2 week miracle bikini body. "
I figure you've probably read somewhere about negs, but you're doing it really, really wrong. This is the part where a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. A neg involves jokingly calling out a girl, not by seriously criticizing their preferences as you did here.
|
On July 15 2011 06:56 sunprince wrote:Show nested quote +On July 15 2011 06:04 squattincassanova wrote:
There is NO ALTERNATIVE to cold approach. Cold approach is king. If you aren't cold approaching, you're doing it wrong. If you aren't going out 3 nights a week and opening at least 15 sets a night, for an average of 45 sets a week. You are doing it wrong. I wouldn't necessarily say that there's no alternative. Cold approach is definitely important and a solid part of my game, but I've also found that as my skills developed I learned how to use an on-going passive state to esentially induce approaches from women.
If you wanna just be mediocre at it then sure, you can do whatever you want. If you wanna be good like Sinn, then you better have at least 5000 cold approaches under your belt.
|
On July 15 2011 07:17 squattincassanova wrote:
If you wanna just be mediocre at it then sure, you can do whatever you want. If you wanna be good like Sinn, then you better have at least 5000 cold approaches under your belt.
Been there, done that (well, maybe not 5,000, but over a thousand is plenty IMO). The point I'm making is, don't limit yourself by thinking cold approaches are the only method, even if it's a critical one.
It's similar to why it's a good idea to know a ZvT build besides 3 Hatch Muta; even if it's really solid and absolutely needed, more options don't hurt.
|
On July 15 2011 07:10 sunprince wrote:Show nested quote +On July 15 2011 06:40 ToxNub wrote:
"Hi there. My name's Aaron. I hope your night is going well. Beyond the 'hi there', your intro is slightly awkward and doesn't do anything to elicit interest. If you happened to pay attention in writing classes about why good introductions are important, you'll understand why this is a bad thing. Show nested quote +On July 15 2011 06:40 ToxNub wrote:I'm sitting in a restaurant with my bill paid 30 minutes ago while the waitress and I have a scowling competition. Don't fret your pretty little head... I'll win. Many long years of coffee drinking and morning commutes has perfected a glance that could cut steel. I realize you're attempting to display value, but you basically came off as an insecure bragger and a little creepy. It isn't normal or attractive to have scowling contests with waitresses, and you directly claim value instead of demonstrating it (to put it another way, show, don't tell). Show nested quote +On July 15 2011 06:40 ToxNub wrote:
I like to ramble, and I hope you do too. The fairtrade stuff... does that mean you are addicted to coffee too? Or are you just addicted to writing about it? In general, being a rambling guy is not attractive. A majority of women appreciate a good listener more than a good talker, so in absence of evidence to the contrary, stating this up front works to your disadvantage. It also appears that you were trying to make a joke there, but it really wasn't funny nor witty. Show nested quote +On July 15 2011 06:40 ToxNub wrote:I hated " the alchemist", honestly. It felt like I was reading cosmo, and it was giving me 10 tips to please my man. I had the sense that i couldnt trust this advice any more than any other list in another magazine. No more insightful than "the secret" or effective than 2 week miracle bikini body. " I figure you've probably read somewhere about negs, but you're doing it really, really wrong. This is the part where a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. A neg involves jokingly calling out a girl, not by seriously criticizing their preferences as you did here.
Hmm. Interesting. I wasn't doing any of things you were talking about. I genuinely have a nasty morning glance, im not sure how that makes me valuable, and I genuinely hated the alchemist. Ok, maybe the rambling part was obvious, I didn't have to state it. She writes a blog about fairtrade coffee, the joke wasn't supposed to be "Haha". I like my humour dry. Thanks for the tips anyway.
@Squat: You can call them excuses, but the truth is that making an ass of myself for a girl I don't care about is just not a high priority
|
On July 15 2011 07:27 ToxNub wrote:
Hmm. Interesting. I wasn't doing any of things you were talking about.
You might not completely get the vocabulary or understand on a conscious level what I mean, but that doesn't mean it wasn't there. For example, bragging as it is generally understood is classified as a beta attempt to display value, whether or not people are aware that they're engaging in impression management.
On July 15 2011 07:27 ToxNub wrote:
I genuinely have a nasty morning glance, im not sure how that makes me valuable
Then why mention it? 'Glance that could cut steel' is undisputably an artistic use of words in order to make it sound cool, and so it comes off that way.
On July 15 2011 07:27 ToxNub wrote:
and I genuinely hated the alchemist.
Yes, but why are you telling her that? It sounds mostly like you're trying to be edgy by dissing her, to act like you know more about books than she does. And then hilariously, you even say that you dissed her book at the end of your post like you think you're a badass for doing so or something.
There's a lot of things that I hate, but I don't go around telling people that I hate their shit if I want to be their friend. If you wanted to be friends with engineers, you wouldn't talk about how engineering is a load of bullshit, would you?
You seem to be either very socially unaware or you're lying to yourself. I don't say that to make fun of you, either, but you should be aware of that if you want to improve.
On July 15 2011 07:27 ToxNub wrote:@Squat: You can call them excuses, but the truth is that making an ass of myself for a girl I don't care about is just not a high priority
If you think that hitting on girls involves making an ass of yourself, you're doing it wrong. Flirting is one of the most fun things ever if you're doing it right. And while you may not care about seducing a girl you're not attracted to, the practice would obviously be a priority for you.
|
I wasn't trying to brag about my glance, I was just telling her what I was up to, and sliding in a little bit of info about myself in what I thought was a goofy manner. I told her about the book because that was a point of similarity (we both read it), but also difference (i didn't like it). That's usually a good tactic, in my experience.
|
On July 15 2011 07:25 sunprince wrote:Show nested quote +On July 15 2011 07:17 squattincassanova wrote:
If you wanna just be mediocre at it then sure, you can do whatever you want. If you wanna be good like Sinn, then you better have at least 5000 cold approaches under your belt. Been there, done that (well, maybe not 5,000, but over a thousand is plenty IMO). The point I'm making is, don't limit yourself by thinking cold approaches are the only method, even if it's a critical one. It's similar to why it's a good idea to know a ZvT build besides 3 Hatch Muta; even if it's really solid and absolutely needed, more options don't hurt.
I find it highly unlikely to find someone else on team liquid with 1000+ cold approches. Not saying its impossible, just highly unlikely. That's almost going out 3 nights a week, 15 sets per night for nearly half a year.
Not saying its the only part of game, but is one that can't be missed. Its a critical component, its not the only component. There is still online game and social circle game.
|
On July 15 2011 07:45 ToxNub wrote:
I wasn't trying to brag about my glance, I was just telling her what I was up to, and sliding in a little bit of info about myself in what I thought was a goofy manner.
Fine, then I'll accept that you weren't consciously doing it, but you still came off that way, which affects the outcome more than your intent.
On July 15 2011 07:45 ToxNub wrote:
I told her about the book because that was a point of similarity (we both read it), but also difference (i didn't like it). That's usually a good tactic, in my experience.
It would be a decent tactic if it didn't involve essentially ridiculing her preferences. Discussing differences is well and good, but dissing things that people like? Not so much. Establishing rapport is critical in early stages, and this runs counter to that.
On July 15 2011 07:50 squattincassanova wrote:
I find it highly unlikely to find someone else on team liquid with 1000+ cold approches. Not saying its impossible, just highly unlikely. That's almost going out 3 nights a week, 15 sets per night for nearly half a year.
1-2 nights a week, 5-10 sets per night, for around 2 years, and opening sets randomly with people I meet everywhere day and night, but sure. =)
|
Maybe I'm just too used to the internet... when I tell someone on the internet what they like sucks they get all mad at write 3 pages at me =P
|
PUA stuff started looking interesting to me, not just because it allows you to pick up girls, but more because it's a way of doing stuff you might otherwise be scared to do. At first I had the usual "Oh it's just bullshit pickup lines and nothing else. It's a waste of time" reaction. After reading The Game I really started thinking about changing the way I look at things and the way I think. I also learned not to make stupid excuses. ie. "I'm ugly thats why girls don't want me".
So I started to change myself. Whenever I wanted to do something, I did it. I started thinking more like an optimisit (I used to be a huge cynic). I always made up shitty excuses and rationalisations for not doing things. I mostly got rid of that, but I still sometimes catch myself doing it. I also encourage other people to try new things, which is something I didnt do before.
As for pick up, I haven't really tried it seriously. Maybe if I find a workshop in my country I'll give it a shot or if I get desperate at some point to just hit the numbers game. Making a huge commitment such as doing 50 approaches a week doesn't seem like my thing yet and so far I've limited it to girls that I just meet hanging out with friends etc. I try to pay more attention to IOI's, but I still feel like I miss too many. My biggest advantage is probably that I don't look like the average finn, but I'm by no means ugly. I have an ethnic background and a few unusual features. That gets conversations rolling pretty easily and people remember me pretty well.
Honestly I think I need to lower my standards further. My biggest problem is that I sometimes judge people too quickly. Any advice on getting rid of that or advice in general would be appreciated.
|
On July 15 2011 08:01 Sotamursu wrote:
Honestly I think I need to lower my standards further. My biggest problem is that I sometimes judge people too quickly. Any advice on getting rid of that or advice in general would be appreciated.
1. work out
2. get ur career handled
3. go out and approach people
4. take an improv comedy class
5. travel
6. LOWER YOUR STANDARDS.
|
Some stuff I found over the last 2-3 pages:
On July 15 2011 04:22 ToxNub wrote:
I may take you up on that. However, I don't believe it will dispute my experience. If women don't approach me, online or otherwise, it's obviously not my attitude or what I say. It's something with my appearance or mannerisms. Yes, I understand most women want me to approach them. But the complete lack of outliers gives me a clue. There's other things I notice too, like how women often direct their gaze elsewhere to avoid looking at me (even though I saw the first glance).
I don't know what's wrong with my attitude... I'm good natured and I put in effort, without getting desperate. Crushes are harmless, imo. Usually they are on people outside of my social circle or people I only meet in poor situations for an approach (eg. my waitress), girls with boyfriends, girls that are not interested that I sitll have a boner for, etc.
The bolded part is a huge limiting belief on your part. I was in-field with quite a lot of Pickup Cats (the female version of PUAs, my region is blessed with a lot of those lovely kitties <3) and I think you've got a lot of misconceptions about "female game".
For females you have 3 types of "approaching" a guy:
a) Offensive, direct, approaches. "Direct" for PUCs means stuff like "Hey, you here for xyz?" / "Ohmygawd, did you just see xy?" and the classic "Got a lighter?" - Anything that is her walking up to you and starting a conversation is direct game for females. No single woman in this world will walk up to you and say "Hey, I think you're cute looking, wanna talk in private?" This stuff is done by about 1/10 women.
(Actually I had a girl walk up to me and grab my crotch once, but that's another story. Let's say that stuff is a 1/1000.)
b) Slightly offensive, indirect approaches that give the guy a chance to show if he's valuable material. - Stuff that seems to happen "by accident" but is most often offering a single person the possibility to start a conversation. e.g. in a waiting line at a bar: "Hey, can you get that drink for me, I'll give you the money. We have better chances than if we shout against each other for the bartenders attention." The classsic "Hey, uhm, got a lighter?" when in a smoking area. Even being in a waiting line and asking the guy next to her "Uhm, do you know, is it always this crowded here?" is considered an "approach" by most women. For some mystical reason she asked this to you, not the other 20 dudes around almost always equals an approach. If you're the only one outside and she's asking for fire, she might just want to get that smoke really badly. (;
This is what about 3/10 women would do if there's a guy she thinks that's cute.
c) Passive, indirect approaches most men don't even notice unless they're aware of their surroundings. Look at the guy. If he looks at her, she looks away. Repeat till the guy comes over or she decides he's a pussy and won't do it. Direct eye-contact is the single biggest approach (or in this case, approach invitation) you will get from most of the women around. - A girl that actively started eye contact with you in the first place is going to be a set that almost never fails. Actually I can't remember a single set where she started the eye-contact before we talked that failed due to her not being interested. Those women also have a unusually high compliance that leads to "the right things"
Example:
You: "Hey, what kind of music are you into?"
She: "Uhm, you know, almost everything, exept maybe rap."
You: "Are you kidding? I fucking l o v e rapmusic."
She: "Well, yeah, some stuff is okay I guess. Just not like Eminem and things like that."
You: "Thin ice, darling. You're dissing my favorite rapper here."
She: "Well, I don't know all of his songs, maybe some are kinda okay."
About 60% of women "approach" men they might be interested in this way. Learn to recognize those types of situations and you'll never go home alone.
On July 15 2011 05:44 ToxNub wrote:
I'm not advocating passive game, quite the opposite. I'm just saying that despite my best efforts, I have little faith that being charming is really effective if by default nobody is attracted to you. This is just my experience, but I've messaged hundreds of women in the last 6 months on dating sites, and I've put up my best pictures, and I've got 3 dates out of the whole deal. Even the biggest idiot can manage to say something charming in that many messages.
This is something I'd like to dump my thoughts into it, too. When I was too scared of cold approaching right when I started out, I did lot's of the stuff that got me previous girlfriends: Online game.
While most PUAs and or aspiring ones approach online game as an easy way to to numbersgame (massmessages etc.) I did some stuff different that worked great for me. My online game is 100% indirect. - My profile, my photos, the style in which I write the girl screams "Some random cool dude that I'd hang out with/be friends with, but someone I wouldn't fuck. Also he doesn't want to fuck me." ... See it like this, an attractive women with a solid profile will get hundreds of messages within a single month. All of them trying to be funny, creative and/or being sexually flavoured from the first messages. (I saw some of those mailboxes, shit is crazy.) Online, I'm aiming to be the one dude out of 40 that seems like he's not going all out on hormones and/or creepy. ... Don't be sexual. Don't be funny. Be very casual. Do all the unattractive things you can make wrong, like talking about boring subjects, asking low-profile small talk questions, etc. ... The whole point of online-game is to get the fucking date. - If she seems like you can get into sexual stuff once you have her on the phone that's another story, don't want to bore you with a phone sex guide..
Once you're having the "date" (aka "Um, yeah, let's drink a coffee one time, you can show me that place you always talked about") you can game her like any other girl.
Online I want to set these frames:
-I'm not dangerous.
-I don't want to get into her pants, I'm just looking for cool people to hang out (trollolololol)
-I'm someone she'd like to hang out with.
That's what you need to get her to date you. What you do on the date, is your choice. Feel free to ask anything other online related, I kinda consider it my specialty even though I haven't done much since some time. It's rather time consuming compared to "real" game.
My quota when I stopped trying to pick up chicks online was about 80% answering my first message, getting 60% to a date and getting 45% lays.
btw, never trust a girl that only has pics of her breasts/face. She's fat, period. Field-tested. (/end puking.)
On July 15 2011 06:04 squattincassanova wrote:
There is NO ALTERNATIVE to cold approach. Cold approach is king. If you aren't cold approaching, you're doing it wrong. If you aren't going out 3 nights a week and opening at least 15 sets a night, for an average of 45 sets a week. You are doing it wrong.
There is no substitute to practice in the field. If you aren't dedicating at least 10 hours to go out every week, you probably will never get good unless you are a natural and you have amazing looks to begin with. Reading books is garbage, I read 4 years of pua material before I finally decided to stop being a bitch. Guess what happened when I went to the club for the first time? I froze the F*** UP. Did 4 years of being a keyboard jockey help me? Not at all.
Plain wrong. It's like saying "all you have to do is massgame to get good at starcraft". Evaluating your sets properly while being in field (wings help there a lot), talking sets through in your local lair, sharing stories, getting analysis from sets you posted online from coaches you know are worth a lot.
I'm not exactly sure how lairs are organized in the US, but in the city im living in over here (about 100k people total) our lair has 30-40 people total, with an average of 25 per weekly meeting. Weekends usually are about 10-15 guys going out to the same location and winging/motivating/analysing each other.
Even when you're alone blind massgame won't nearly give you the same results as loads of solid analyse does.
As in any fucking (trollol) field out there a fine balanced combination of theory and praxis is best. Pickup has a tendency that people hid behind theory or (that's a mostly european problem) "working on their inner-game" as an excuse to not talk to girls but still feel good about themselves.
|
Speaking about funny online-game experiences, I guess I have to tell this story.
On one of the dating platforms I was active a girl set her status message to "moving to city xy soon, looking for people there  ", her guestbook already had like 30 short entries about it, I hit the message button anyways and ended up talking about finding it cool that hes into theatres and hidden bars, why exactly she's moving to this city, what she's going to study etc. pp., standard pussy talk.
I got a 2-3 hour "date" with her over coffee where I started to tease her and work on some basic kino, not much more. I then did my usual "OH SOMETHING JUST COME TO MY MIND"-walkover, and asked her if she want's to tag along to some place that might be cool for her the day after tomorrow.
I "lured" her to that place with my "buddies" along (a cat and my #1 wing, he invited a target, too :D). The good part about that place: Lot's of female friends/ex-GFs around. Shitload of social proof. Things coming as they must we landed at her place. During the affair which lasted a few weeks she told me those things (the good part):
-You looked like a cute, harmless puppy in your profile photos, I never expected you to be like this IRL.
-About 40 people wrote me about me moving, I answered two. You cause you seemed harmless, the other guy cause he was married. He tried to flirt with me on our first meeting, I broke contact cause I didn't want something going with a guy.
-Why I took you home with me at that first night? Well, there were girls all over you and everyone seemed to like you so I figured it's not dangerous or anything. I never did something like that before.
-If people see me being with a guy when they don't know me, they might assume I'm engaged and therefore won't try and get into my pants when I show up solo.
-You're not my type at all, but there is just something about you. (my fav <3)
tl;dr:
-I was harmless and not dangerous online.
-I was challenging, teasing and cool live.
-Social Proof and kino escalation sealed the deal.
|
On July 15 2011 09:01 r.Evo wrote:
Plain wrong. It's like saying "all you have to do is massgame to get good at starcraft". Evaluating your sets properly while being in field (wings help there a lot), talking sets through in your local lair, sharing stories, getting analysis from sets you posted online from coaches you know are worth a lot.
Learn some English bro. Saying cold approach is something you can't bypass in pickup does not mean its the only thing in you should do while learning pickup.
If someone says you can't bypass nutrition for amazing physique, does that mean just eat and sit on your fat ass all day? See the logic? You have to work out too in conjunction.
Having wings, textbook material, and lair meets are helpful. But if you ain't doing any cold approaches in whatsoever in conjunction, you might as well waste your time somewhere else.
|
On July 15 2011 09:41 squattincassanova wrote:Show nested quote +On July 15 2011 09:01 r.Evo wrote:
Plain wrong. It's like saying "all you have to do is massgame to get good at starcraft". Evaluating your sets properly while being in field (wings help there a lot), talking sets through in your local lair, sharing stories, getting analysis from sets you posted online from coaches you know are worth a lot.
Learn some English bro. Saying cold approach is something you can't bypass in pickup does not mean its the only thing in you should do while learning pickup. If someone says you can't bypass nutrition for amazing physique, does that mean just eat and sit on your fat ass all day? See the logic? You have to work out too in conjunction. Having wings, textbook material, and lair meets are helpful. But if you ain't doing any cold approaches in whatsoever in conjunction, you might as well waste your time somewhere else.
Excuse me very much for making mistakes in a non-native language at 2am while writing posts that have actual content.
You're statement said "IT IS ALL ABOUT COLDAPPROACHES DONT DO ANYTHING ELSE ES #1", which is, once again, plain wrong since it does not include the full truth.
Teaching people to "only do one thing" is almost always horrible from an educational point of view. Most people (you said that you are one of those) simply don't get their act together for years of pure theory (which they thought was best for them), then switch to pure praxis (now they think this is the one and only solution for everyone) and try to push that kind of belief onto others.
For any single field you want to improve out there which requires physical and mental activity, a combination of theory and praxis is needed to improve in the fastest way possible.
Learn some education, "bro".
PS: Not to mention there are entire game-styles based on reducing cold-approaches to a minimum, simply because there are more effective methods out there.
|
On July 15 2011 09:54 r.Evo wrote:Show nested quote +On July 15 2011 09:41 squattincassanova wrote:On July 15 2011 09:01 r.Evo wrote:
Plain wrong. It's like saying "all you have to do is massgame to get good at starcraft". Evaluating your sets properly while being in field (wings help there a lot), talking sets through in your local lair, sharing stories, getting analysis from sets you posted online from coaches you know are worth a lot.
Learn some English bro. Saying cold approach is something you can't bypass in pickup does not mean its the only thing in you should do while learning pickup. If someone says you can't bypass nutrition for amazing physique, does that mean just eat and sit on your fat ass all day? See the logic? You have to work out too in conjunction. Having wings, textbook material, and lair meets are helpful. But if you ain't doing any cold approaches in whatsoever in conjunction, you might as well waste your time somewhere else. Excuse me very much for making mistakes in a non-native language at 2am while writing posts that have actual content. You're statement said "IT IS ALL ABOUT COLDAPPROACHES DONT DO ANYTHING ELSE ES #1", which is, once again, plain wrong since it does not include the full truth. Teaching people to "only do one thing" is almost always horrible from an educational point of view. Most people (you said that you are one of those) simply don't get their act together for years of pure theory (which they thought was best for them), then switch to pure praxis (now they think this is the one and only solution for everyone) and try to push that kind of belief onto others.For any single field you want to improve out there which requires physical and mental activity, a combination of theory and praxis is needed to improve in the fastest way possible.Learn some education, "bro". PS: Not to mention there are entire game-styles based on reducing cold-approaches to a minimum, simply because there are more effective methods out there.
Whats the most common newbie mistake? Read too much / Don't go out. Whats my answer? Read less go out more. Its pretty simple concept. 99% of the people in the community are keyboard jockeys.
I never said go blindly approach and not calibrate. I take a voice recorder when I go out and I get them analyzed when I come back. I'm an engineer, so I'm pretty analytical about things. You just admit you miss read what I said. When I go to Germany, we can have a sargethon if you like
|
On July 15 2011 10:03 squattincassanova wrote:Show nested quote +On July 15 2011 09:54 r.Evo wrote:On July 15 2011 09:41 squattincassanova wrote:On July 15 2011 09:01 r.Evo wrote:
Plain wrong. It's like saying "all you have to do is massgame to get good at starcraft". Evaluating your sets properly while being in field (wings help there a lot), talking sets through in your local lair, sharing stories, getting analysis from sets you posted online from coaches you know are worth a lot.
Learn some English bro. Saying cold approach is something you can't bypass in pickup does not mean its the only thing in you should do while learning pickup. If someone says you can't bypass nutrition for amazing physique, does that mean just eat and sit on your fat ass all day? See the logic? You have to work out too in conjunction. Having wings, textbook material, and lair meets are helpful. But if you ain't doing any cold approaches in whatsoever in conjunction, you might as well waste your time somewhere else. Excuse me very much for making mistakes in a non-native language at 2am while writing posts that have actual content. You're statement said "IT IS ALL ABOUT COLDAPPROACHES DONT DO ANYTHING ELSE ES #1", which is, once again, plain wrong since it does not include the full truth. Teaching people to "only do one thing" is almost always horrible from an educational point of view. Most people (you said that you are one of those) simply don't get their act together for years of pure theory (which they thought was best for them), then switch to pure praxis (now they think this is the one and only solution for everyone) and try to push that kind of belief onto others.For any single field you want to improve out there which requires physical and mental activity, a combination of theory and praxis is needed to improve in the fastest way possible.Learn some education, "bro". PS: Not to mention there are entire game-styles based on reducing cold-approaches to a minimum, simply because there are more effective methods out there. Whats the most common newbie mistake? Read too much / Don't go out. Whats my answer? Read less go out more. Its pretty simple concept. 99% of the people in the community are keyboard jockeys. I never said go blindly approach and not calibrate. I take a voice recorder when I go out and I get them analyzed when I come back. I'm an engineer, so I'm pretty analytical about things. You just admit you miss read what I said. When I go to Germany, we can have a sargethon if you like
if he doesnt want to, i'm in for it .. where are you going?
|
On July 15 2011 09:01 r.Evo wrote:Some stuff I found over the last 2-3 pages: Show nested quote +On July 15 2011 04:22 ToxNub wrote:
I may take you up on that. However, I don't believe it will dispute my experience. If women don't approach me, online or otherwise, it's obviously not my attitude or what I say. It's something with my appearance or mannerisms. Yes, I understand most women want me to approach them. But the complete lack of outliers gives me a clue. There's other things I notice too, like how women often direct their gaze elsewhere to avoid looking at me (even though I saw the first glance).
I don't know what's wrong with my attitude... I'm good natured and I put in effort, without getting desperate. Crushes are harmless, imo. Usually they are on people outside of my social circle or people I only meet in poor situations for an approach (eg. my waitress), girls with boyfriends, girls that are not interested that I sitll have a boner for, etc. The bolded part is a huge limiting belief on your part. I was in-field with quite a lot of Pickup Cats (the female version of PUAs, my region is blessed with a lot of those lovely kitties <3) and I think you've got a lot of misconceptions about "female game". For females you have 3 types of "approaching" a guy: a) Offensive, direct, approaches. "Direct" for PUCs means stuff like "Hey, you here for xyz?" / "Ohmygawd, did you just see xy?" and the classic "Got a lighter?" - Anything that is her walking up to you and starting a conversation is direct game for females. No single woman in this world will walk up to you and say "Hey, I think you're cute looking, wanna talk in private?" This stuff is done by about 1/10 women.(Actually I had a girl walk up to me and grab my crotch once, but that's another story. Let's say that stuff is a 1/1000.) b) Slightly offensive, indirect approaches that give the guy a chance to show if he's valuable material. - Stuff that seems to happen "by accident" but is most often offering a single person the possibility to start a conversation. e.g. in a waiting line at a bar: "Hey, can you get that drink for me, I'll give you the money. We have better chances than if we shout against each other for the bartenders attention." The classsic "Hey, uhm, got a lighter?" when in a smoking area. Even being in a waiting line and asking the guy next to her "Uhm, do you know, is it always this crowded here?" is considered an "approach" by most women. For some mystical reason she asked this to you, not the other 20 dudes around almost always equals an approach. If you're the only one outside and she's asking for fire, she might just want to get that smoke really badly. (; This is what about 3/10 women would do if there's a guy she thinks that's cute.c) Passive, indirect approaches most men don't even notice unless they're aware of their surroundings. Look at the guy. If he looks at her, she looks away. Repeat till the guy comes over or she decides he's a pussy and won't do it. Direct eye-contact is the single biggest approach (or in this case, approach invitation) you will get from most of the women around. - A girl that actively started eye contact with you in the first place is going to be a set that almost never fails. Actually I can't remember a single set where she started the eye-contact before we talked that failed due to her not being interested. Those women also have a unusually high compliance that leads to "the right things" Example: You: "Hey, what kind of music are you into?" She: "Uhm, you know, almost everything, exept maybe rap." You: "Are you kidding? I fucking l o v e rapmusic." She: "Well, yeah, some stuff is okay I guess. Just not like Eminem and things like that." You: "Thin ice, darling. You're dissing my favorite rapper here." She: "Well, I don't know all of his songs, maybe some are kinda okay." About 60% of women "approach" men they might be interested in this way. Learn to recognize those types of situations and you'll never go home alone. Show nested quote +On July 15 2011 05:44 ToxNub wrote:
I'm not advocating passive game, quite the opposite. I'm just saying that despite my best efforts, I have little faith that being charming is really effective if by default nobody is attracted to you. This is just my experience, but I've messaged hundreds of women in the last 6 months on dating sites, and I've put up my best pictures, and I've got 3 dates out of the whole deal. Even the biggest idiot can manage to say something charming in that many messages. This is something I'd like to dump my thoughts into it, too. When I was too scared of cold approaching right when I started out, I did lot's of the stuff that got me previous girlfriends: Online game. While most PUAs and or aspiring ones approach online game as an easy way to to numbersgame (massmessages etc.) I did some stuff different that worked great for me. My online game is 100% indirect. - My profile, my photos, the style in which I write the girl screams "Some random cool dude that I'd hang out with/be friends with, but someone I wouldn't fuck. Also he doesn't want to fuck me." ... See it like this, an attractive women with a solid profile will get hundreds of messages within a single month. All of them trying to be funny, creative and/or being sexually flavoured from the first messages. (I saw some of those mailboxes, shit is crazy.) Online, I'm aiming to be the one dude out of 40 that seems like he's not going all out on hormones and/or creepy. ... Don't be sexual. Don't be funny. Be very casual. Do all the unattractive things you can make wrong, like talking about boring subjects, asking low-profile small talk questions, etc. ... The whole point of online-game is to get the fucking date. - If she seems like you can get into sexual stuff once you have her on the phone that's another story, don't want to bore you with a phone sex guide.. Once you're having the "date" (aka "Um, yeah, let's drink a coffee one time, you can show me that place you always talked about") you can game her like any other girl. Online I want to set these frames:-I'm not dangerous. -I don't want to get into her pants, I'm just looking for cool people to hang out (trollolololol) -I'm someone she'd like to hang out with. That's what you need to get her to date you. What you do on the date, is your choice. Feel free to ask anything other online related, I kinda consider it my specialty even though I haven't done much since some time. It's rather time consuming compared to "real" game. My quota when I stopped trying to pick up chicks online was about 80% answering my first message, getting 60% to a date and getting 45% lays. btw, never trust a girl that only has pics of her breasts/face. She's fat, period. Field-tested. (/end puking.)Show nested quote +On July 15 2011 06:04 squattincassanova wrote:
There is NO ALTERNATIVE to cold approach. Cold approach is king. If you aren't cold approaching, you're doing it wrong. If you aren't going out 3 nights a week and opening at least 15 sets a night, for an average of 45 sets a week. You are doing it wrong.
There is no substitute to practice in the field. If you aren't dedicating at least 10 hours to go out every week, you probably will never get good unless you are a natural and you have amazing looks to begin with. Reading books is garbage, I read 4 years of pua material before I finally decided to stop being a bitch. Guess what happened when I went to the club for the first time? I froze the F*** UP. Did 4 years of being a keyboard jockey help me? Not at all. Plain wrong. It's like saying "all you have to do is massgame to get good at starcraft". Evaluating your sets properly while being in field (wings help there a lot), talking sets through in your local lair, sharing stories, getting analysis from sets you posted online from coaches you know are worth a lot. I'm not exactly sure how lairs are organized in the US, but in the city im living in over here (about 100k people total) our lair has 30-40 people total, with an average of 25 per weekly meeting. Weekends usually are about 10-15 guys going out to the same location and winging/motivating/analysing each other. Even when you're alone blind massgame won't nearly give you the same results as loads of solid analyse does. As in any fucking (trollol) field out there a fine balanced combination of theory and praxis is best. Pickup has a tendency that people hid behind theory or (that's a mostly european problem) "working on their inner-game" as an excuse to not talk to girls but still feel good about themselves.
I appreciate the tips for online stuff. Though in the very part you quoted, i mentioned that girls wont meet me in eye. Which means every approach you mentioned i still score 0. Your lighter story was funny though. Several years ago i dated a girl i met when she asked me for one.
And yeah, i am totally making an ass out of myself when i try to flirt. I just dont have those skills :p
|
On July 15 2011 10:12 beg wrote:Show nested quote +On July 15 2011 10:03 squattincassanova wrote:On July 15 2011 09:54 r.Evo wrote:On July 15 2011 09:41 squattincassanova wrote:On July 15 2011 09:01 r.Evo wrote:
Plain wrong. It's like saying "all you have to do is massgame to get good at starcraft". Evaluating your sets properly while being in field (wings help there a lot), talking sets through in your local lair, sharing stories, getting analysis from sets you posted online from coaches you know are worth a lot.
Learn some English bro. Saying cold approach is something you can't bypass in pickup does not mean its the only thing in you should do while learning pickup. If someone says you can't bypass nutrition for amazing physique, does that mean just eat and sit on your fat ass all day? See the logic? You have to work out too in conjunction. Having wings, textbook material, and lair meets are helpful. But if you ain't doing any cold approaches in whatsoever in conjunction, you might as well waste your time somewhere else. Excuse me very much for making mistakes in a non-native language at 2am while writing posts that have actual content. You're statement said "IT IS ALL ABOUT COLDAPPROACHES DONT DO ANYTHING ELSE ES #1", which is, once again, plain wrong since it does not include the full truth. Teaching people to "only do one thing" is almost always horrible from an educational point of view. Most people (you said that you are one of those) simply don't get their act together for years of pure theory (which they thought was best for them), then switch to pure praxis (now they think this is the one and only solution for everyone) and try to push that kind of belief onto others.For any single field you want to improve out there which requires physical and mental activity, a combination of theory and praxis is needed to improve in the fastest way possible.Learn some education, "bro". PS: Not to mention there are entire game-styles based on reducing cold-approaches to a minimum, simply because there are more effective methods out there. Whats the most common newbie mistake? Read too much / Don't go out. Whats my answer? Read less go out more. Its pretty simple concept. 99% of the people in the community are keyboard jockeys. I never said go blindly approach and not calibrate. I take a voice recorder when I go out and I get them analyzed when I come back. I'm an engineer, so I'm pretty analytical about things. You just admit you miss read what I said. When I go to Germany, we can have a sargethon if you like if he doesnt want to, i'm in for it .. where are you going?
No definite plans yet. I been to Frankfurt and Heidelberg before. I probably plan a Euro trip next year.
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
