How do you approach a girl?

On July 12 2008 09:39 mikeymoo wrote:
*tap tap*
optional steps-
"Hey, I think I've seen you somewhere before, I'm [NAME]."
*she looks confused*
"No? Hm? Are you sure you've never [ACTIVITY] before?"
"No? Maybe I saw you at [LOCATION]?"
"What book are you reading? That looks interesting, what is it about?"
"Sorry, what's your name again?"
-end of optional steps
*ask her out*

On July 12 2008 09:49 paper wrote:


that's just creepy

On July 12 2008 10:14 conCentrate9 wrote:
"Let's see if you can dodge my lurker spine!"

On July 12 2008 10:33 thoraxe wrote:
Or use pheromones that turns girls crazy like in that movie Oceans 13, although it may also cause ALL of the girls in the library to drool all over you.

On July 12 2008 10:43 Ancestral wrote:
My problem is all the girls I'm legitimately attracted to are already close friends .

On July 12 2008 11:01 useLess wrote:
the only correct answer to this question is "drunk"

On July 12 2008 11:23 PsycHOTemplar wrote:
"Baby, let's go some place far away. Don't worry, I pack light, everything we need is right here in my pants *feels groin*"

On July 12 2008 11:23 PsycHOTemplar wrote:
"Baby, let's go some place far away. Don't worry, I pack light, everything we need is right here in my pants *feels groin*"

On July 12 2008 11:48 Wizard wrote:
is that you evan?

how about you feel your groin as tell her you're packing light. Very light.

On July 12 2008 13:00 PsycHOTemplar wrote:

Watch Wrongfully Accused.

On July 12 2008 10:51 ShaLLoW[baY] wrote:


Quoted for sad-but-truth

On July 12 2008 10:32 Showtime! wrote:
In fact, the 3-5 second rule works well if you're trying to break the ice with a stranger. Works like this. You make eye contact, raise 3 or 5 fingers, start the countdown and she'll be like "wtf is he doing?!?!", approach her once all your fingers are down and say something witty and funny, such as: "someone's a little shy. I noticed you were looking at me and there's no point yelling across the room, so I thought I would introduce myself. I'm ____."

On July 12 2008 09:38 Wizard wrote:
do you have any idea how many threads there have been like this? Use search. or [brilliant idea here] don't ask an internet forum.

Just try to keep in mind that despite what you see in movies, most girls are looking for guys to treat them with respect and who aren't full of themselves.

On July 12 2008 15:35 ahrara_ wrote:

That's neither witty nor funny. It's kind of creepy actually, and makes you sound like an ass.

Very attractive girls know they're very attractive. They get approached by dozens of guys like showtime who think they're the shit. If you want them to think you're actually a down-to-earth person and sincere, just go up to them and introduce yourself. Ask them if they're waiting for someone, so you're not putting them in a bad position, and ask to sit down with them or buy a drink. Take a few minutes to ask them questions, get to know them. Act reserved and respectful. Sometimes you'll find something in common and the conversation will go on naturally... sometimes it won't. In the latter case, excuse yourself politely, saying something like "I have to go talk to my friends." Leave her your number, so you're not imposing, and so she doesn't get a chance to reject you. Tell her she can get in touch with her anytime she likes, and if she doesn't, that's fine too.

Just try to keep in mind that despite what you see in movies, most girls are looking for guys to treat them with respect and who aren't full of themselves. Some people have natural charm, but you don't need that to be able to approach girls. Just be yourself =). Do yourself a favor and don't read that "pickupartist" shit... human beings are not all tools that are that easy to manipulate.

You'll need self confidence for this... and there's no advice that can give you that. I will tell you it's something that gets easier with rehearsal.

On July 12 2008 18:13 Hypnosis wrote:
What peeople dont realize when they ask the interwebz for girls advice is that even if they did manage to gain enough balls to walk up to, greet, seduce and begin talking to a girl, they would epically fail afterwards.. Like after they met lol

On July 12 2008 18:33 Hypnosis wrote:
The best way to get into a relationship thats good is to already know them, meeting people you dont know is good but what the fuck do you expect it to just work out? You have nothing to lose by just talking to a girl with a greeting and being nice, from there we cannot say what will happen.

On July 12 2008 15:35 ahrara_ wrote:

That's neither witty nor funny. It's kind of creepy actually, and makes you sound like an ass.

Very attractive girls know they're very attractive. They get approached by dozens of guys like showtime who think they're the shit. If you want them to think you're actually a down-to-earth person and sincere, just go up to them and introduce yourself. Ask them if they're waiting for someone, so you're not putting them in a bad position, and ask to sit down with them or buy a drink. Take a few minutes to ask them questions, get to know them. Act reserved and respectful. Sometimes you'll find something in common and the conversation will go on naturally... sometimes it won't. In the latter case, excuse yourself politely, saying something like "I have to go talk to my friends." Leave her your number, so you're not imposing, and so she doesn't get a chance to reject you. Tell her she can get in touch with her anytime she likes, and if she doesn't, that's fine too.

Just try to keep in mind that despite what you see in movies, most girls are looking for guys to treat them with respect and who aren't full of themselves. Some people have natural charm, but you don't need that to be able to approach girls. Just be yourself =). Do yourself a favor and don't read that "pickupartist" shit... human beings are not all tools that are that easy to manipulate.

You'll need self confidence for this... and there's no advice that can give you that. I will tell you it's something that gets easier with rehearsal.

On July 12 2008 18:44 Hypnosis wrote:
Uhm rephrase that.. But yea your correct and you have to be able to meet people but i think the best way is to just become an outstanding person, that way people approach you. If you dont have the charisma in the first place.

Or just take a chance by being interested in other people.

On July 12 2008 18:51 Hypnosis wrote:



the quote you quoted sounds like something a guy like G5 or Idra would do LOL. That would NEVER WORK.

On July 12 2008 19:04 ahrara_ wrote:
maybe it doesn't work for you and the girls you approach. or maybe you never tried it. whatever, i'm telling you what i'm telling you based on what i do that works. it works for my values and the way I like to engage people. I do make more friends this way than girlfriends, but I'd never feel comfortable or confident approaching someone like you're describing. Instead of telling me my advice doesn't work, recognize that different people have different approaches, and are around different kinds of environments. I think the same applies to the OP. He doesn't sound like the type who can come waltzing in and be prince charming. Instead he can play off being a good listener. I mean he's talking about girls in a library.

but to each their own. so long as what you do gets you what you want, then more power to you.

On July 12 2008 19:15 Hypnosis wrote:


Actually you are correct, for a meaningful relationship you have to be a girl's friend first, which builds a very strong base. Then it can become serious down the line. and it IS good to meet tons of people like some people mentioned, it just makes a better person out of you.

Whoever criticized ahraras idea about being respectful and such is an idiot, this guy isnt looking for a quick fuck in a library, he wants someone meaningful..

On July 12 2008 19:29 ahrara_ wrote:

i don't agree with that first part. In general if you guys become "friends first" it means she's just not attracted to you in that way. I mean romantic tension is kinda hard to hide. If you want something more, you have to move faster and keep her intrigued romantically. If you reach that comfort level where you're friends, but there's no romance left, then that's all you'll ever be. Although if that happens, most likely she never liked you to begin with. People tend to get enamored with new people until they get to know them a little, at which point they either fall for them or they don't.

On July 12 2008 19:29 ahrara_ wrote:

i don't agree with that first part. In general if you guys become "friends first" it means she's just not attracted to you in that way. I mean romantic tension is kinda hard to hide. If you want something more, you have to move faster and keep her intrigued romantically. If you reach that comfort level where you're friends, but there's no romance left, then that's all you'll ever be. Although if that happens, most likely she never liked you to begin with. People tend to get enamored with new people until they get to know them a little, at which point they either fall for them or they don't.

Whoever criticized ahraras idea about being respectful and such is an idiot, this guy isnt looking for a quick fuck in a library, he wants someone meaningful..

On July 13 2008 04:51 ahrara_ wrote:
not to get personal, but maybe you're not the person to be acting like you know wtf you're talking about. i never "admitted it never works". I make a lot of friends approaching people, but I also meet girls where we're both mutually attracted. What I don't meet are girls who just want to hook up. Either me and that girl move on to a romantic level, or we don't, and stay friends. there are plenty of fish in the sea... I don't need to meet MORE girls. I need to meet "right" girls. im not a pick-up artist by any means, and i don't want to be.

On July 12 2008 15:35 ahrara_ wrote:

That's neither witty nor funny. It's kind of creepy actually, and makes you sound like an ass.

Very attractive girls know they're very attractive. They get approached by dozens of guys like showtime who think they're the shit. If you want them to think you're actually a down-to-earth person and sincere, just go up to them and introduce yourself. Ask them if they're waiting for someone, so you're not putting them in a bad position, and ask to sit down with them or buy a drink. Take a few minutes to ask them questions, get to know them. Act reserved and respectful. Sometimes you'll find something in common and the conversation will go on naturally... sometimes it won't. In the latter case, excuse yourself politely, saying something like "I have to go talk to my friends." Leave her your number, so you're not imposing, and so she doesn't get a chance to reject you. Tell her she can get in touch with her anytime she likes, and if she doesn't, that's fine too.

Just try to keep in mind that despite what you see in movies, most girls are looking for guys to treat them with respect and who aren't full of themselves. Some people have natural charm, but you don't need that to be able to approach girls. Just be yourself =). Do yourself a favor and don't read that "pickupartist" shit... human beings are not all tools that are that easy to manipulate.

You'll need self confidence for this... and there's no advice that can give you that. I will tell you it's something that gets easier with rehearsal.

On July 13 2008 08:33 ahrara_ wrote:
I don't think you get it. OP is obviously not someone who can approach girls and be prince charming. Anyway, most people can't, but it doesn't mean they don't have ac hance at a relationship. If he tried approaching this girl "cocky" he'll just come off needy, desperate, and AWKWARD. If he tries being respectful and casually engage the girl in conversation and flirting, like I suggested, he'll have a better chance.

I would love to actually see these people who are recommending he act cocky actually try talking to a girl in a casual setting. I have a hard time picturing you coming off as anything less than an ass.

On July 13 2008 11:20 YanGpaN wrote:


What you recommend will directly put him in the female's friendzone, if thats what he is going for sure thats okay. But inorder for you to be different from the rest of them, he needs to do or say something different. Cockyness is great, but it needs to be backed up with humor. Or another way to go with it is to use a completely weird ass opener like, "Did you know that when you eat your kidney and your bladder stops recieving blood?" No one has ever said this to her probably, and it'll make you complete different, plus you'll be able to carry on a "fun" conversation...

But i do understand where you're coming from, it is true infact if you start acting cocky and you're not really a cocky person, because its uncongruent to your character, and it sends out a weird vibe.

On July 13 2008 12:00 Hypnosis wrote:



incongruent** and dude, wtf are you talking about? If ANYONE said that to ANYBODY they would just walk away, that is the dumbest shit i have ever heard, do NOT say weird shit like that its just not good.. And the guy (the OP) were talking about is not trying to pick up chicks in a LIBRARY.. and if he is im laughing. But GL to you man.

On July 13 2008 14:20 ahrara_ wrote:
tell me about a time when you pulled this off successfully.

what i posted is my approach to meeting new people. i've been "using it" for years. it doesn't get me laid, but it makes me plenty of friends, and it has landed me romantic dates. it's something i'm basing on experience.

my intuition tells me what you're saying is based on what people tell you about how to talk to women. in my experience, cockiness is poor flirting method. i mean if you can prove me wrong through experience, i'd probably believe you more. but i have a really hard time seeing how the line 'my sister thinks you're hot' will get you anywhere... and again not to be personal, but haven't you expressed before that you're not very social to begin with? i mean there's nothing wrong with that, a lot of people here aren't the most outgoing, but if you don't spend a lot of time around people, then you shouldn't be giving advice with that kidn of authoritative tone.

On July 14 2008 01:57 MrRammstein wrote:
lol I just realized that comparing diferent approaches with SC is like YanGpaN going for rush / low eco build and ahrara_ is for more macro-oriented game ;d